Welcome to Gaia! ::

as8b - I'm so glad that my letter has arrived, and that you like the bracelet!! I was talking to Madralyn yesterday, but I'm going to send you a PM, ok?

Wolf - it would be awesome if you trained one of your dogs up to go to hospitals. As someone who's been on the receiving end, animals really do help patients. On days when I was feeling so low I wouldn't speak, they'd bring in a kitten and let it sleep on my bed with me. The animas, I suppose, brought the outside world to us, as we weren't allowed to go outside. Have you inquired as to how much you'd need to train a dog for it to qualify? Because I'm sure there must be programs, and trainers available. Oh, and that is one huge property you live on! I used to want to live on a farm, but with my RSD I can't walk on flat ground, let alone grass ><

To everyone else, I hope you're doing well. I've been doing homework all day, so am looking forward to a chance of just being in awhile. And then I need to prepare myself for another psychologist appointment tomorrow. Boldie - I'm thinking about what you said, but I don't think I'm strong enough for it. I can't even begin to imagine how I'd gather the strength to speak those unutterable words. xx

Boldie: I'm so glad you and Rick are in a better place. I truly hope that the next doctor appointment will help you find some solutions to the problems you are having. You made me sound like such a trooper but, the truth is three months ago what I'm doing now wouldn't have been possible and there are days that it's very, very difficult. Fortunately, with the Savella, these days are further away from one another but will never be gone. I just refuse to give up, I gave 5 years of my life away on medications and on the sofa or in bed; 2 years ago I started to feel the will to fight again after my cancer relapsed. Now 2 years later, God help inspire some genius in a lab that created a medication that is actually working for me. I don't know how long it will last but while it is working in combo with all the other meds I am taking including dilaudid, I will do the things I could not before like getting dressed in the morning and even getting my hair done some days; enjoying my family and taking my kids where they need to go. It could all end tomorrow but for today, I'm living....ironically, today my body needs a day off and it's sending out all the warning signals....ah well, I get to be here with all of you.

Ailsa, I know we've talked privately quite a bit lately but I wanted to address publicly one part of your comments in the past week.

Your academic achievements are incredible, congratulations! More than some realize, I do understand the difficulties between being successful and also being left with a body that doesn't function afterward. For me it's about learning to balance and I think you will find as you move on to University, you may be able to do this a little differently so you can have some body strength left. You are a truly gifted woman and I think we will see great things from you as an Author and Musician.

I also have a question, I know the larger print makes it easier for you to read but, what about the color? Is it easier to read black or dark colors rather than bright colors like this blue?

Wolf, you are a very fortunate young woman to be surrounded by loving animals and to live somewhere big enough for them all. I hope you do certify one of your dogs one day, it's a precious thing for the dog, you and most of all the patients who are rewarded by their visits.

Ailsa:: I do hope to certify one doggie... but who knows. I hear that you are doing well in school? YAY!!! I tried to get into college... but something isn't right... they said I have one more year??? I dunno... it's confusing. Basically I can get in next year... or something. i dunno. Oh well.

boldie:: Oops... lost my train of thought... um... Oh! Found my train again! Sometimes my joints hurt me so badly, I can't do ANYTHING. So I know somewhat of how you feel. Now, Get Better!!! and that was an order, not an option!!!

Madralyn:: Same to you, I hope I get one of my doggies certified. And thank you for the comment on my profile! I appreciate you taking the time to look at it : D

All for now! Maybe I will post in the Avitar Contest... Hm...

Hey, this is boldie. YESSSSSSSSS, the real me... lol Sorry about being under the guild mule. Sometimes I check it when I'm under one of the guild mules, and forget who I am. *giggles. Everything is cool and going okay, so far. "So far, so good". Just wanted to clarify that up.

Ugh, I don't know whether to post it here, or ask you to go to my journal, I don't know if it can count as what this topic is on, but since this is real discussions about real events, i figure I should post it here. I had a dream, that dream is the reason why I'm up at 2:13 in the dang morning. I will check back alter today to see if you guys think I should post it here oor just ask you to go to my journal..

Link to my journal: http://www.gaiaonline.com/j/

Wierd you'd think it'd be longer right? sweatdrop


But other then that, I was recently hospitalized for a few hours. I had an asthma attack at around 3 in the morning. On the 13th, missed school that day. Went to the doc, doc sent me to the hospital, hospital drugged me for half the dang day... I had an asthma attack cause of the wild fires here in cali. I looked at my doctor like he was stupid, then again, i figured I had an asthma attack from second hand smoke of people in a park smoking marijuana.. So I am guessin what happens happens.. Oh well..

Im going to bed. Good night.

Well, I'm finally back online. I have had one of the worst weeks in w long time, and I've been sinking lower and lower, so removed myself from the world for a little while. School has been insanely busy so I haven't had time to digest what my psychologist told me yet. It was nice being able to come back on and read all the comments, though. Gave me something else to think about, you know?
Madralyn, color is not such a big thing, I find. Except really bright colors like yellow and orange and lime green are more difficult. I'm hoping also that university will give me more of an opportunity of building my timetable around appointments and that sort of thing, cutting me a little bit of stress. I don't really know what I'm going to do for the rest of the year, though, because I'm seriously finding it hard enough to live each day at a time. The prospect of my exams in two months just makes me feel sick, more so than I do already.
Boldie, I hope you're feeling a bit better, slowly but surely. Know that you are still in my prayers and that I'm sending you all the love my heart can muster! I love you xx
I better go because it's only 1:30 and I'm exhausted already. I think it's time for a nap, if I can get to sleep, that is. 40 hours down the track with no proper sleep, and I'm losing momentum.
xx Ailsa xx

Boldie, I wish I could say I was having fun, but at least I'm surviving at the moment. I'm letting things get to me at the moment, because I don't have the energy to ignore it or push through it, but all it's doing is draining me more. I think my spoon collection may have run into debt now. It seems every day when I think "I can't get more tired than I am now" my body wishes to prove me wrong, and steals another night of sleep from me. So I'm off to sit with my friend in an attempt to distract myself from everything. Thankfully she knows that she can't expect too much from me when I'm like this, so I know I won't have to put on a show, or appear happy when I'm around her. I guess that's something to be grateful for. Anyway, Boldie, I hope your hip pain settles down, and I'll say a special prayer for you tonight that God sends you some relief, or at least a sense of comfort & love. Because, I DO love you, and will never stop. Sorry that this message was more directed towards one person, but I'll try to make my next one more general. Love to all of you!! xx Ailsa xx