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 Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 8:44 am
So he called you incompetent just because you gave unfavorable answers to his questions? XD Yeah, okay.
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:41 am
Miss Amelia Pond It's not that so much that makes me think that I'm not particularly intelligent. That just tends to make me feel inadequate and uncomfortable every time I open my mouth. Try being taken seriously when you have trouble speaking, it's a lot more difficult than one would hope.
And Ane, I would. And I have written it, so many, many times, and torn every one of them to shreds. I'm a coward. I can go rappelling and rock climbing, I can fly a plane and drive in College Station (no mean feat; people here are maniacs), but when it comes to anything relating to emotions, I freak out and freeze up and can't do it. I could have written it in old Norwegian using the Greek alphabet so that he could have no chance of ever possibly reading it, and I still couldn't do it. No, seriously, I did write like that once.
It's not that I'm hard on myself, it's just that I acknowledge my limitations. I'm a person, and I know what I can and cannot do. God damnit, stop being down on yourself. It's irritating watching the closest thing to perfection that I've seen be so damned overly-modest. Open up Simon! Snap out of it! *Punch* Not at all irritated by being hated. Irritated by irrational self doubt. It makes me wanna jump out of a giant robot and punch people.
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:34 am
Stalker. xp
My mom seemed to have been finally starting to chill out when I left for school (and that was probably one of the most grammatically awkward sentences ever), but she's still a b***h. >.>
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:38 am
Kestin Sha Stalker. xp My mom seemed to have been finally starting to chill out when I left for school (and that was probably one of the most grammatically awkward sentences ever), but she's still a b***h. >.>When the gazelle enters a lion's den, the lion need not stalk for the kill.
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:38 am
Divine_Malevolence Kestin Sha Stalker. xp My mom seemed to have been finally starting to chill out when I left for school (and that was probably one of the most grammatically awkward sentences ever), but she's still a b***h. >.>When the gazelle enters a lion's den, the lion need not stalk for the kill. Uh...*gives up on trying to figure out your metaphors* Sure, whatever you say. Obsessor, then. xp
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:43 am
Kestin Sha Divine_Malevolence Kestin Sha Stalker. xp My mom seemed to have been finally starting to chill out when I left for school (and that was probably one of the most grammatically awkward sentences ever), but she's still a b***h. >.>When the gazelle enters a lion's den, the lion need not stalk for the kill. Uh...*gives up on trying to figure out your metaphors* Sure, whatever you say. Obsessor, then. xp Basically, it's not stalking when they enter an area you frequent. And I don't know why, but I now want to tell a french dude "Parlez vous ******** you." But only after they ask "Parlez vous francais."
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:49 am
Divine_Malevolence Kestin Sha Divine_Malevolence Kestin Sha Stalker. xp My mom seemed to have been finally starting to chill out when I left for school (and that was probably one of the most grammatically awkward sentences ever), but she's still a b***h. >.>When the gazelle enters a lion's den, the lion need not stalk for the kill. Uh...*gives up on trying to figure out your metaphors* Sure, whatever you say. Obsessor, then. xp Basically, it's not stalking when they enter an area you frequent. And I don't know why, but I now want to tell a french dude "Parlez vous ******** you." But only after they ask "Parlez vous francais." Still obsessed. Man, I love Halloween.
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:27 am
Little Miss Fortune I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it. I don't even have anyone I can ask anymore. I'm desperate and alone and afraid that I'm going to do something stupid. Assistance is needed, what what?
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:49 am
Divine_Malevolence Little Miss Fortune I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it. I don't even have anyone I can ask anymore. I'm desperate and alone and afraid that I'm going to do something stupid. Assistance is needed, what what? *can't find the post in question so is quoting Div instead* gonk You has meee! Please don't die. crying
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:12 pm
Finally I have a reason to hate you! You said it was just because you didn't love me anymore. Yet two weeks later you're with some girl I've never heard her. And now I'm trying not to cry, talking to a guy I used to hate, because he and I both love our ex's and want to break down.
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:54 pm
Long post is long, but not sad.
While combing the other secrets thread for the identity of Mrs Fernagon, I came across several pages of people talking about the supernatural. I won't lie, I actually read them and feel a little creeperish for doing it. But it is fascinating and reminded me of something that happened in August while I was in Vienna.
As some know, my grandpa died in August not from the fist-sized stomach cancer he had, but from pneumonia in the hospital. He and I were close in a strange way. He was not a pleasant man, but he had his days and I remember profoundly how much he doted on me as a kid and even when I wasn't anymore.
If there are typos, I'm sorry, but I can't see very clearly right now.
While he couldn't speak in the Hospital, he always opened his eyes when I was there and I knew he wanted more than anything to live and to see me come back home safely from the plane like he always did whenever I left. He outlasted what the doctor said he would live to by over a week before life support was pulled. He could've lasted the whole month and I feel slight guilt in putting my decision to have him die painlessly, thinking he wouldn't be able to handle the pain to live another few weeks (that was the other option).
Anyway, the day or evening he died, I saw him. That was what I wanted to say. I want to say it now before it becomes any vaguer in my mind because it was one of the happiest moments in my life.
I was asleep and dreaming about him coming out from the hospital and the nursing home. He wasn't as emaciated as he was in the hospital and my grandma and him were walking down a street that reminded me of Chinatown. It was clean and he was smiling while my grandma was laughing. While I knew he was partially blind, he adjusted his glasses and looked down at me with the same smile.
I joined them in their walk and I can't remember what we talked about, but it felt right. It felt like how it was when I was little, before the problems of divorce, illness, and separation happened. Before I knew that my parents were fighting all the time. Before I saw the flaws of the adults I loved so much. I felt like I was that laughing 8 year old again walking hand in hand with grandpa after school to the ice cream store with grandma there, too, not in as much pain while she walked.
The dream I think ended either with us parting ways or just with it slowly fading as I woke up. I remember feeling content, as if I was sure grandpa wasn't dead yet. No way he could be if he looked like that in the dream.
But when I went online to facebook, I found out he had died the previous night. Yet, despite this, I wasn't sad.
While I regret not seeing him before I left, I don't regret that I saw him once more and we parted expecting to see one another again in the future.
I know what my religion preaches and he was not a believer, but I will hold onto my beliefs and pleasantness and I thank God every day for allowing me that dream, allowing me to see my grandpa for the very last time not in a hospital bed, barely alive and bloated with fluids, but himself as I knew him all my life: the strong, stubborn man that rarely smiled, but when he did, it brought joy and laughter to everyone.
I really miss him and I still cry sometimes thinking about him, but I don't remember him as the dying thing and I'm glad. While I have other pocketwatches I carry, I carry the one I bought for him from London last year, the one he boasted to everyone his granddaughter bought him from London.
He never used it and it's in pristine condition, but it's the last thing I ever gave him aside from the Chewy bars he loved. I don't care if it is battery-run, it reminds me of him and I can never feel bad when I look at it or open it.
Sorry for long white post, but I needed to say this. All of this before I forget. He wasn't the most important person in my life, but I've known him and have lived with him for close to 20 years.
Funny how one doesn't fully appreciate a person until they've gone.
And damn it, I haven't cried this badly for anyone or so often in years and years. Hell, I was pretty damned sure that I had lost touch with this emotional part of me long ago. It feels odd and embarrassing to admit, seeing as I am a very stoic person, the leader and strength of my generation of relatives.
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:16 pm
I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY I LOVE MICKEY....
I REALLY DO LOVE MICKEY ;O;<3
anywho secret:
I really have been in a negative state lately and ooo i ve felt like head butting every idiot that moves. heh
But slowly calming down now just hope my luck improves, Im soo happy to have Mickey because I have no idea how I d cope
also reason I never screeny or reveal my gold amount is because there is a person I hate and i refuse to be like them
I m not sure how he pulled it off either or how hes still pulling it off -__-
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:26 pm
My little sister changed her last name on Facebook to Bieber, and there's a video on youtube of my little brother singing to one of his songs.
gonk
I don't know how to feel about this.
In other news, it's my mother's 40th birthday today. She uploaded some pics of her Halloween costume to Facebook, and I am sad to say that she is probably far sexier than I am
rofl
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:29 pm
I'm on an extreme caffeine rush. Heeeeeeee! ^____^
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