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 Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 6:59 am
Good Mod. I remember that Project Blue was an attempt to generate Aberrants with chosen powers, but I'd thought that they would be modifying existing volunteers. Generating living weapons from scratch seems worse. Though I wonder - are any of the current batch products of this program?
I like how you make use of the third-person limited for Jillian's section. Really focuses on her worldview.
Who is Ian Prentiss, and why do people know him? surprised
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:37 am
Yowza! Another incredible chapter, Mr. Gendou. I can't wait to read more! heart
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:39 am
Moryera OooOOOOoooh. Jillian thinks Ian is cuuuuute. Will Keej be making an appearance soon? Is this, dare I say it, the setup for a looooove triangle? 4laugh heart Just because we're joined at the hip in real life does not mean we're guarenteed to be in any selection of fiction. sweatdrop That said, Mod, I hope so. heart Personally, I'm just glad Blue-boy actually resurfaced long enough to allow permission to use his name. xd I love him dearly but getting him to communicate with others is like pulling teeth. Gen: One of the things that I noticed right away this time was that I was utterly lost as to who was who when Jillian is watching everyone else come in. The sudden introduction of appearances left me pretty confused there, to the point of having to go back and check through who was who. sweatdrop If your intent was that the readers are as confused by who's who as the character, it was well done. Otherwise, knowing what people look like in a little detail earlier in the story would be nice for future reworking (if you feel the need to rework later). Your dialogs are excellent, as usual, and in light of that, Jillian's going to be an interesting character, due to her lack of speech (at this point). I'm really looking forward to how you're going to handle communication with her. heart Romuel This is the thermonuclear equivalant of a midwesterner at Mardi Gras. Quoted. *kiss*
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:47 am
Excellent again. Although it's creepily like you're reading my mind. Or am I reading yours?
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 8:03 am
KijiLinn Gen: One of the things that I noticed right away this time was that I was utterly lost as to who was who when Jillian is watching everyone else come in. The sudden introduction of appearances left me pretty confused there, to the point of having to go back and check through who was who. sweatdrop If your intent was that the readers are as confused by who's who as the character, it was well done. Otherwise, knowing what people look like in a little detail earlier in the story would be nice for future reworking (if you feel the need to rework later). All of the descriptions, for the most part, are covered elsewhere, so figuring out who is who shouldn't be too difficult if anyone cares to look. That having been said, the viewpoint is Jillian's, and she doesn't know anyone, so a bit of confusion is not unexpected or unintended.
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 8:04 am
Gendou KijiLinn Gen: One of the things that I noticed right away this time was that I was utterly lost as to who was who when Jillian is watching everyone else come in. The sudden introduction of appearances left me pretty confused there, to the point of having to go back and check through who was who. sweatdrop If your intent was that the readers are as confused by who's who as the character, it was well done. Otherwise, knowing what people look like in a little detail earlier in the story would be nice for future reworking (if you feel the need to rework later). All of the descriptions, for the most part, are covered elsewhere, so figuring out who is who shouldn't be too difficult if anyone cares to look. That having been said, the viewpoint is Jillian's, and she doesn't know anyone, so a bit of confusion is not unexpected or unintended. Odd. I knew who everyone was. I can understand not knowing who Ian is, as he was just introduced. But the descriptions through out the story were enough for me to get who was who.
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 8:06 am
Westonian Good Mod. I remember that Project Blue was an attempt to generate Aberrants with chosen powers, but I'd thought that they would be modifying existing volunteers. Who ever said they aren't? 
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:23 am
Gendou Westonian Good Mod. I remember that Project Blue was an attempt to generate Aberrants with chosen powers, but I'd thought that they would be modifying existing volunteers. Who ever said they aren't? ZOMGSPOILERS gonk scream whee
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:36 am
Ruevian Gendou All of the descriptions, for the most part, are covered elsewhere, so figuring out who is who shouldn't be too difficult if anyone cares to look. That having been said, the viewpoint is Jillian's, and she doesn't know anyone, so a bit of confusion is not unexpected or unintended. Odd. I knew who everyone was. I can understand not knowing who Ian is, as he was just introduced. But the descriptions through out the story were enough for me to get who was who. My bad. sweatdrop Just goes to show that I need to sit down and read a little bit more closely than I have been. I pay attention, but my brain likes to shut off on me occasionally. Obviously. heart sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:55 am
Awesome. I was wondering if anyone would have taken bets... sweatdrop xd
I can't wait to read the next chapter. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 10:28 am
eek This....owns. Not only that, now we've got more of what's going on in the world to work with. And some contries to look at. The question is, who will be taking what sides? Are they even on the right side? sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 1:02 pm
gonk You have videocameras, don't you? Watching my every move.
I adore the perspective you put Jillian in. lost, confused...
...!!! DUDE. Jill + Ian = Jillian! OTP! :'3 Lawdy that'd be awesome/hilarious.
Hopefully people WILL understand the whole "OMGZ I can't talk!" bit...
... but dear lord, how could anyone handle not being able to sing? eek gonk
Anywho, narcissism aside, this is an awesome chapter. heart The plot thickens. :O How did the Germans get a hold of Project Blue? Will Rowan handle a class without freaking out? What thoughts will run in the minds of the teachers as they discuss their students? Find out nextime on STORYTIME Z!
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 1:43 pm
Gendou Westonian Good Mod. I remember that Project Blue was an attempt to generate Aberrants with chosen powers, but I'd thought that they would be modifying existing volunteers. Who ever said they aren't? You mean we're going to be experimented on? gonk Cool! twisted heart
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:05 pm
::hums::
Deutchland, Deutchland, ra ra ra!
My german is a pathetic shamble of what it used to be sweatdrop I've got songs left, and soccer chants.
This is getting really creepy. Testing is always scary. I weep for lost childhoods crying
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 3:37 pm
Kyraa ... but dear lord, how could anyone handle not being able to sing? eek gonk Well, for those of us who sing perpetually off-key, fairly easily.
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