((I haven't added to this thing in a while . . . <.< ))
{ATE: A Different Adventure 6}
Journal 2 (Part 3)
She was gone, leaving me aching and frustrated. The pain from the long needles all down my right side was overcoming. I had to try and get them out soon, because it was killing me. I pulled one out of my forearm, clenching my teeth against the pain. The needle was probably a good inch and a half long. There was no way I could withstand pulling out the hundreds of needles one by one, so I decided to do it all at once, like a band aid. My magic was low but I could at least perform basic things. I made myself count to three before using my magic to push all the needles out. Ooh, that was a bad moment. Searing pain rocketed down my side, causing me to shout out and fall to my side. I could feel myself shaking as tears formed in my eyes. Hurried footsteps sounded behind me and were getting closer. For a moment I began to panic.
"Noelle! Are you alright?!"
It was Bagheera. I started to relax a little more but found it made me shake more. "No." I grunted in reply, looking down my right side. It was nearly soaked with blood. I felt queasy.
Bagheera moved around the other side of me and looked at the needles on the ground. Glancing to the tree from which they had come, he bent lower to sniff them and made a face. "Oh dear."
I blanched. "Hey, don't say that! What do you mean 'Oh dear'?"
"These thorns are from the Give and Take tree, that tree right there. I've seen many animals, and even those from the man-village get cut on it. They say the needles are poisonous. If you get cut the poison causes you a great deal of pain and makes it so you can't stop bleeding."
With a groan, I tried to sit back up. Wonderful, a tree with toxins that cause pain and prevents your blood from clotting. Things couldn't be worse. I must have had a distressed look on my face because Bagheera hurried on to give me better news.
"There's no need to worry though," he continued, "Give and Take trees do exactly that, give and take. Behind the needles there is a sap in the bark that eases the pain and stops the bleeding. If you put that on your wounds it will help."
I opened my mouth to decline but paused. If I just healed myself then I wouldn't have to bother with the sap. But the sap interested me. A Give and Take tree--how interesting. I've always loved learning about natural remedies, like Yarrow and Goldenrod, and this was a chance to test the effectiveness of something new. Struggling to my feet, I took my time getting to the tree. That poison really was a killer, all the pinpricks in my side felt like gaping wounds. I took my spear and dug at the side where the needles had been cleared by my replica. With a little touch of my magic I was able to push a good-sized glob of sap out of the tree trunk. I grabbed one of the large jungle leaves and tore it from its host, using it to wipe some of the blood from my arm. I was trying not to look for fear I would be sick. It was the whole blood thing, blood should stay
inside the body. A scratch was no big deal, but large amounts made my stomach turn. After my arm was a little less bloodied I scooped the sap from the tree and smeared it around all over my arm. The sap was sticky and oily, but I could feel it working almost right away. The pain in my arm was receding and the bleeding was beginning to stop as well.
I smiled, "This is incredible!"
"It's nature." Bagheera laughed, sitting back on his haunches. "The rain forest provides well for those who know where to look."
"Yeah . . . it sure does."
I pulled at the bottle on my belt and drank the pitcher plant mixture from it to heal my wounds. It took the whole thing to heal me completely. I would have to figure out how to make my concoction more potent. What if I ran out and couldn't grow more to heal myself? What would I have to keep me going? That's when a thought struck me. I had this wonderful tree right in front of me. Why not get some samples? Bagheera watched as I walked to the river, rinsed myself from all the blood and dirt I was covered in, and grabbed a large enough river rock to form another canteen from. It was a little painstaking, but I got the center carved out and fashioned a suitable lid. Bagheera asked a few questions about my abilities while I was fiddling with the new bottle and I was happy to answer them all. When I was finished I was able to fill the bottle with sap for later and even collect a few seed pods from its branches (which I lowered for access. There was no way I was going to climb this tree) so I could grow my own tree if I wanted.
"So that was your enemy. The one that looks just like you . . . fortunately that battle didn't last long." Bagheera said finally.
I quieted, laying back on the ground to relax a little. "Yeah . . . told you she was tough. If I were any match for her then it might have lasted longer. All our battles would. Compared to her I'm just a bug. She really only comes by to beat me senseless and make me feel weak . . . unfortunately she does a good job of it too. She's so good at making me feel like crap she's got me beat within five minutes."
"Indeed . . . but you were right, you know."
"Hmm?" I glanced over at him as he laid all the way down as well.
"She does not fight for anything but selfish wants. She lacks a greater, truer purpose, and in the end that will leave her empty and weakened."
'I'm beginning to like this cat.' Why, because he sounds like you?'He does not.' Does too.'That's beside the point, human. He possesses a great deal of wisdom, and such wisdom can give you strength.' "And she wants control. This is another weakness."
I frowned, "How so? She likes to be in control of things, and she's good at getting it. Even I like to be able to control things . . . but I'm not as psycho as she is."
"Adaptability." Bagheera replied shortly. "With such a need to be in complete control of a situation, she gives up all adaptability. You cannot change the way the wind blows, or the way the river runs, so you must adapt to the natural flow of things in order to use them to your advantage."
"No, I can't do stuff like that . . . but I know people who can."
"The
point is," the black panther grinned, "is that if you can make chaos in her control, then you will have decreased her power. Do you see it?"
"I do now." I sighed, staring up at the sunlight glowing through the canopy. I was glad Bagheera was there, he sure was a help. I probably could have reached the same conclusions he did, but it might have taken me longer. He was sharp all the time, it seemed . . . and I guess that's what he was trying to teach me to do today, even if it was by pouncing on me. I had to be sharp, thinking, all the time. There's a lesson in every life occurrence, I suppose, even if it's 'hey stupid, stop that.'
Just go with the flow. That seemed like it was harder for me to do than it sounded. I like things to go the right way. Everything has to be just so and placed right or I get panicky or I break down. Maybe that's why I've managed to keep things together while I've been on my own. I just haven't had a plan to stick to and therefore no plan to experience ripples in. I guess I should do that from now on, not make plans and just figure things out as I go along. But then again, that might tear me apart. Ever since I was little I've needed structure, something firm to lean on, mostly because when I lived with my mother that structure didn't exist. There was never knowing where we might live next, what school I would have to go to, who we would be relying on for the necessities. I couldn't stand living like that, I was scared. So when I was with my father I finally felt secure, I felt safe. And that was exactly it, I always felt safe. There were never any monsters outside the windows at dad's house, but the windows at mom's weren't secure and I never knew what might crawl through them in the middle of the night. That's how I thought about it back then too. Window monsters. Now it's kind of funny, but back then it really bothered me.
How was I going to get over this? No clue. But maybe this weakness of my own was one of my replica's as well. If she disliked flawed plans as much as I did then I could definitely gain the upper hand by messing them up. First I would have to overcome this thing myself, though. Maybe not out of necessity of beating her, but at least out of becoming a, get this, more stable person.That would always be what was hardest about fighting her. Any weakness of hers was probably already one of my own. Overcome and improve, that was the name of the game. I figure that I should just give myself some more time in these Disney worlds and maybe I'll have no problem getting over it. I mean, we never know what we're doing next, when we'll have another chance to rest or eat or sleep. Sure, the ominous presence of evil beings sucked like hell, but everything else was slightly therapeutic in it's own nerve-racking, energy-absorbing, panic-inducing way. Nothing says therapy like good ol' terror.
'What are you thinking, human?'What do you mean what am I thinking? You can tell, can't you?'The heart and mind are a little more complicated than that. All I could see were memories.'Memories, huh? What of?'I could see windows. Dark windows, like it was night time.'Yeah . . . I was thinking about windows.'That's an odd thing to think about.'Well, pfff, not JUST windows. It's deeper than that. . . . So can you just tap into my memories whenever you want to?'I assume so, though I haven't tried. I'd like to respect your privacy.'Oh, REALLY? A jerk like you? Ch, I don't even care, have at. I mean, you're essentially a part of my heart, right? I shouldn't hide stuff from you.'I suppose not. Accessing your memories might make our bond stronger--'Well, then don't hesitate. Here, what am I thinking about now?'Ah . . . a doll. With yellow hair. And a cement wall withholding an embankment of grass.'Yeah, that's Kelly-doll.'Kelly-doll?'She's my favorite doll. I found her when I was probably around five or six. She was lying on a low cement wall at Sea World when I found her. Not that you know what Sea World is. We waited for whoever owned her to come back to the spot and pick her up, but they never came, so I kept her. I can't for the life of me remember why I named her Kelly, though.'So, this is a fond memory of yours.'Yeah, and I still keep her with my first teddy bear and my father's baby blanket on my bed back at-- . . . well, it all used to be back at home. But it's not there any more.'You father's baby blanket. It's white.'Yeah, how'd you know?'When you think of certain things sometimes images come with it. Why would you have your father's baby blanket?'I never had one of my own. So my grandmother gave it to me when I was younger so I'd have a "favorite blanket". It had apparently used to be blue, but the color wore out. It's made from that smooth material that is cool when you touch it. It's always cool, even in the summer. When she first gave it to me it smelled like mothballs, like the rest of her house, but the smell eventually faded. I was a little sad when it did.'The smell . . . it reminded you of her house and the time you spent there. Chasing rabbits and catching small bugs that lit up--'Fireflies. We would run around in the tall, yellow grass in the field next to her house and catch them. Then we'd put them in a jar and set it on the nightstand when we went to bed. And she'd always have sassafras tea for us in the mornings, and we'd put chocolate squares out for the squirrels . . . I could feel warm tears running down my cheeks. Bagheera was lounging next to me, but was faced the other way. He didn't notice me turn away from him to lay on my side and conceal my tears. I could feel my heart aching, but I continued.
And we'd make home-made strawberry ice cream with an old-fashioned ice cream machine with a crank handle. We'd all take turns cranking it, passing it off when our arms got tired. Then gran and I would collect green beans from her garden for dinner, or we'd look at her flowers, or we'd go to the woods in the back yard and pull up sassafras roots for more tea. My sister and I played in the hammock, and on the big tire swing. She could always swing higher than I could, though. And we'd run around picking apples from her tree and blackberries from her garden, and we'd poke around in the old barn for ancient rusty stuff. Dad showed us the secret room in the bottom level where he and his friends would hang out. They had the small boat they built in there. He told us stories about accidentally setting the field on fire with a railroad flair, and finding dynamite and hiding it in the barn, and Uncle Phil getting pooped on by the bull, and running away thinking he would live at the grocery store, and climbing the water tower at night, and . . . and . . . and . . . I began crying more heavily, trying to keep quiet so Bagheera wouldn't hear me. I'm sure he had, though, but he didn't say anything. Neither did Titan. He was unusually quiet, probably watching my memories as I recalled them. I thought he might tell me to suck it up, but he didn't. Even if he had I wouldn't have been able to stop. Now that I had finally thought about home and my family I was releasing all the emotions I had jarred up inside me. For the first time in nearly a week I thought about losing my old life and being thrown into a new one.
I want to go home! I sobbed, pressing my hands over my face,
Oh, I just want to go home . . . I want my dad, and my sisters, and my cat, and-and . . . '. . . I know, human. But you can't. And you won't unless you fight. That is why you are here. You must fight for your home and you family, or you will never get them back. You must be strong for this reason. This is your reason for fighting, the very impetus of your existence. You must stay true to this. Do not let the desire in your heart turn into darkness.'I didn't reply for a while, trying to calm down. I hate crying, I really do, but right then it was making me feel better. Finally I said,
No . . . I won't. I've been there once before . . . and I'm not going back.'Good . . . now stop crying. I don't like crying.'Well . . . that makes two of us, then. I took some time to compose myself before sitting up and wiping my eyes one last time. I was still pretty muddy, but my tears had washed my cheeks some. If Bagheera hadn't known that I was crying, then he would know now.
"Are you alright, Little Tree-Grower?"
Yeah, he knew. I smiled and looked at him over my shoulder. "I am now. I'm going to go clean some of this mud off me, then we can do some more training or something."
"Well, I wasn't much thinking about training more. I thought it was time we found something to eat."
Food. The moment the thought popped into my mind I felt my stomach clench and complain about how empty it was. I hadn't thought about eating before, probably because I was a little too worried about my situation to think about finding some chow. I must have been making a face because Bagheera laughed.
"Come on, the sooner you clean up the sooner we can find something to eat." The panther smiled, jumping to his feet.
I wandered back to the river and waded into the shallows . . . then practically threw myself in. I didn't care that the water was cold, I wanted to get all the grime off. When I was satisfied I trudged out of the water and walked over to Bagheera ready to go. He laughed some more.
"My, now you look like a drowned rat." He smirked, "Now let's get moving."
"Where are we going to find food?" I asked, rubbing an eye with the back of my wrist as water ran down into it.
"That's simple. Anywhere." He replied, "The jungle has many fruit trees, you just have to find them."
"Well, yeah, fruit, but you're not much of a vegetarian I'm sure."
From what I knew about large cats, they could go a few days after a meal before needing to eat again. If Bagheera had been alone all this time it was definitely time for some grub.
"There hasn't been anything to eat." He said, "So I've just eaten fruit, hoping it might provide me with at least a little energy."
I made a face, "Aww, shoot. That's no good. Hey, maybe I can take you back to where I first was taken. It's a different kind of forest, so maybe the animals haven't been re-located."
"A different kind of forest? You mean it's not like the jungle? Well . . . all right."
"Yeah, I know it's a little weird but, I can explain when we get there."
I took the lead and started heading back for the pine forest, following my red flowers. It took a little while (I had no way to really judge the time), but we made use of the time by chatting about various things. Bagheera was quite a smart cat with a subtle kind of humor. He knew a few things about a plant here and there mainly from experiences or observing men coming through and making use of them while hunting. What I was most interested in, though, was his observations and how they were applicable--like the way the sake slithers and uses its great muscles to strike, or the way orangutans use their long arms to reach things and swing between trees, or the way bears (one in particular I was sure I knew of, but I didn't say anything) use their great size and weight to knock things from trees. All these animals had certain attributes that allowed them to do certain things, I just had to find my own. Yeah, I could use magic to move earth and grow things, but that wasn't part of it. I needed to start concentrating on my physical capabilities. Elleon showed me quite harshly how easily I could lose my magic and have to depend on my own body to take down an enemy.
"Well, what do you have?" Bagheera asked, glancing up at me as we walked.
I thought for a minute, "Well . . . I'm pretty flexible. I used to be a dancer, so
some strength comes with it . . . I guess."
"Good, you can use that to be evasive if you train yourself to be quick. A snake can move around in near impossible ways, but still have the strength to make a worthy strike. What else is there?"
"Err . . . I have decent balance?"
"Excellent. Good balance is key to regaining your composure if you've been knocked down, or if you are striking while moving at high speeds. Us cats use our tails to balance us while we are in pursuit of quick prey, and our overall balance allows us to make a strong attack against animals larger than we are. Anything else?"
I searched for something but came up with a blank. I kind of shrugged and looked down at myself. I really didn't think there was much more.
"You're small." He said finally.
I tried not to laugh, "Well, yeah, but I don't think that's anything great. I mean, that just means I'll fly farther when I get smacked really hard."
"No, this gives you the potential for speed and stealth." Bagheera smiled, swishing his tail. "Smaller animals always seem to be able to move so quickly, and they're very evasive. If you learn how to give yourself physical control then you can do many many things. Your small frame is not a hindrance but rather a strength."
"Huh . . . I guess."
We'd made it to the lake and were beginning to approach the pine forest when Bagheera paused. He glanced around and sniffed the air while I tried to spot the next red flower.
"This place is strange." Bagheera murmured, tensing slightly.
I just kept walking, waving him forward. "Yeah, this is the other forest I was talking to you about. You see, what happened was . . . well . . . how do I explain this? The Kingdom has changed a little bit, and this is one of the changes."
"I'll accpet your word for it." Bagheera chuckled, reading the slight perplexed look on my face. I was really trying not to trample on that world balance thing . . . though it was a little hard not to when any day any of the worlds' inhabitants could stumble upon some other place.
"So, your jungle kind of meets this other forest. Really, I'm sure it was just a matter of time before you stumbled upon this and wandered in . . . hey, maybe that's what happened to all of the jungle animals!"
The black panther continued to follow behind me cautiously. "It's possible but . . . I'm not sure if it would happen."
"Psh, well I think it's
likely. I mean come on, curiosity gets the best of a lot of people. Maybe they wandered over here and got lost. The jungle is a big place, but if it's bigger you wanna go check it out, right? If they wanted to claim more turf then it was theirs for the taking."
I caught a look of amusement on Bagheera's face as he shook his head. "You sure do have a lot of hope, Little Tree-Grower. It certainly makes me want to believe you."
"Well, maybe that's why I'm here. To give people hope."
The words were out of my mouth before I had really thought about them. They almost startled me a little. But what was most surprising about them was their potential truth. Maybe that
was why I was there. Ever since we'd all been stuck in this awful situation of having to fight for our lives so we might get our home back, I'd wondered why I was there. Why
me? Why not somebody else, why not somebody better, more pure, more innocent? I guess now I knew.
My capacity for hope was something I always thought was kind of unique. I told many a friend that they were "Debbie Downers." They just told me that they were trying not to get their hopes up. I always thought that was silly. Why not get your hopes up? That's what keeps you going, keeps you driven. If you don't hope for first place, or hope for a good grade, then you're not going to play your best or try your hardest. What they were afraid of was disappointment. What I was afraid of was failure. So I always had hope, even if I was the only one.
I seemed to have been losing that the past couple of days. The more serious things got, the more run down I became, the less hopeful I was that we'd make it through to the end. I'd lost my spark and let my weaknesses take hold, let my woes take over. I was the one being cheered up instead of the one doing the cheering. I was being a Debbie Downer. A really lame one. So where was it? Where was my hope?
I think I'd just found it again. It made sense. That
had to be the reason why I was chosen, why I hadn't perished with Earth. I was put here to give people hope. It was my job, and I began thinking that we all had one, all of the earthlings. Each of us had our own specific purpose. And I finally found mine.
"Precisely." Bagheera said, beginning to relax a little. I doubted he knew about the fantastic revelation I had just had, so I stayed quiet.
After we had found a good place to stop and rest, Bagheera began sniffing the air and briefing me on the basics of hunting. Before Earth was destroyed I had long been begging my dad to teach me how to hunt. We had all the rifles already, and I knew how to use them. I was actually a pretty good shot too, but we never really found the time to get to a hunting reserve so he could show me how to track and hunt. He grew up hunting with his father's old shotguns and rifles. I just wanted to try it to see if I could get dinner one day.
"Once I catch the scent of something," he said, speaking somewhat softly, "then we'll try and trail it. It's good that there's a lake close by, that means other animals should be in close enough proximity to use it as a water source. You must stay well hidden and make very little noise. We want to go for larger prey. Do you know what animals would be in this forest?"
I shrugged, "Well, it's an evergreen kind of wood, so maybe deer. Deer are pretty quick and can spring here and there, so they might be a little tricky. Other than that there's . . . bears. You don't want a bear, though. They might kill you."
Bagheera had never seen, or smelled, a deer before, so I didn't know if we'd be able to find anything. Dad said that he could go three days without seeing a good deer, so there were no guarantees no matter how good a hunter you were. When we went camping he'd point out to me what game trails looked like, and one time we even stumbled upon a spot where some deer had bedded down. There were large, oblong indents in the plants and dirt, and the bark was scraped off some of the trees where the young male deer had rubbed their antlers on the trees. He said they were "in rut" . . . whatever that means.
"I don't think we'll be taking on anything I can't handle." The panther grinned, "But if we can find one of these deer, then I think we'll have dinner."
I grimaced a little, thinking about the feeding habits of large wild cats. "Ehh . . . I think I'll stick to fruit. You can have the deer and all that stuff. You never know, I might try some fishing back at the lake or something."
"Suit yourself."
Bagheera pretty much followed his nose after that. I was able to find deer droppings and I pointed them out to him, hoping they might give him a better clue, but he only seemed vaguely interested. From then on it was clear that my job in this was to just follow along as quietly as possible and make sure we didn't get lost, not to be the poop-pointer-outer . . . or anything ridiculous like that. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that ol' Baggy had this down. This was his existence, after all. What
did surprise me was how quickly we found something. Bagheera shushed me and told me to stay put while he got closer.
I didn't need to be told twice. In fact, I hid on the other side of a tree so I wouldn't have to witness the unfortunate demise of some poor creature. Maybe it was a good thing that dad had never taken me hunting after all. The forest was rustling slightly, full of life, before I heard the hunt begin. There was a scuffling, the sounds of Bagheera's great paws tearing at the ground for traction. A distanced growl could be heard, then the small scream of pain, and more rustling in the leaves. It wasn't long before things quieted and the sounds of the forest returned like they'd never been interrupted. Bagheera's prey was clearly no match for his speed and strength. Next time the cat came trotting up he was dragging a full grown deer with him. The dead deer's neck was held fast in his mouth, dripping crimson from the wounds Bagheera's large teeth made. I grimaced.
Oh god . . . I sure hope that wasn't Bambi . . . That thought made me a little sick. I gave the successful hunter a weak smile and tried not to look at the deer. "Ehh . . . good job?"
Bagheera merely shook his head before nodding towards the trail we made coming into the forest. I guess he meant that we should head back, because that's what he started doing. We probably hadn't gone ten feet before I felt queasy.
"Isn't there a better way to carry . . .
that?" I said meekly, stopping where I stood.
My panther pal looked back at me, not saying anything. Good, I'd hate for him to talk with his mouth full.
I stammered, "I mean, you're just dragging it like that, and it's bending in awful ways and I can hear it pop--ooh, I'm going to be sick."
It was obviously more terrible in my mind than it was in reality because I was making myself more sick thinking about it than I was watching it. Bagheera spit out the deer and looked at me curiously, then shrugged.
"How do you suggest I carry it, then?" He asked, turning about to face me.
"Well, I dunno . . . eh . . . just some
other way than before."
"There's not much else I can do, Little Tree-Grower . . ."
I frowned, rubbing the back of my neck. "Well . . . okay fine. But can I at least walk a few feet in front of you? It's just grossing me out."
Bagheera chuckled, "Of course. Go on ahead, I'll follow."
I practically skipped ahead before he finished his sentence. Glad to be out of the freak-out-zone, I followed my flowers, picking them as I passed them. Before long I had one large bouquet of red flowers with the loveliest scent. When we got back to the lake I jumped to the grassy shoreline and plopped down. I didn't know if Bagheera had wanted to stop here, but I did. He soon stepped up behind me, leaving Bambi (
Please let it not be Bambi) a good two yards behind me in the grass.
"You get rather squeamish, don't you?" He asked, a small smirk on his face.
I sighed, my shoulders sinking a little. "It's just the blood thing. I mean, a little is fine, but when there's a bunch and it's on . . . dead things I get a little freaked out."
"How do you expect to eat?"
"Er . . . with . . . my face?"
"No-no, I mean meat. I assume you are a carnivore like many humans."
I shrugged, "Yeah, I do. But I can do without it. Besides, I can fish. Cleaning a fish doesn't creep me out that much. I grew up fishing, so it's something I'm kind of used to."
Bagheera shrugged and turned back for his catch. "Do what you will."
I briefly made a face and moved my lips as if saying "meh meh meh meh", mocking my feline counterpart. I was surprised that Titan hadn't at least scolded me. It seemed as if he was beginning to like Bagheera. I liked him from the start because he was a big kitty. Oh, how I miss my own kitty . . . I'm sad that she can't talk, though. Anyway.
Avoiding Bagheera's dining spot, I searched for a relatively straight, sturdy stick I could make use of as a fishing pole. Once I had stumbled upon one, and I do mean stumbled, I looked for something I could use as line. After a bit of trouble, I had pulled some of the thread from the hemming on my shirt (doubling it over for strength), and fashioned a hook out of a stone using earth magic. I didn't think worms would be too readily available, so I dig into the soil for whatever form of bait I could find. Some beetles did the trick, and I was fishing in no time. Did I expect to have much luck? I could only hope.
So, I sat and waited for something to bite. The worst part. Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty patient person, but I was dying for something to eat. Maybe I should have found some fruit to munch on while I was waiting. Not wanting to move, I grabbed a few seeds from my pouch, the ones I wanted seeming to gravitate to my fingers. (I still can't figure out how that works . . .)
In no time at all, I had a small strawberry bush at my side and I was munching on the sweet fruit, thinking about how lucky I was for being able to go to Narnia and collect all those seeds from the castle gardens and surrounding forest. If it weren't for that trip, I don't know what I'd do--I found so many useful plants. There are a few different components to my agromancy, I have decided. There, of course, is growing and manipulating plant life, but then there is being able to call upon non-specific plants just by thinking about what I need. I don't know if this is some sort of conjuring, but it's not something I'll rule out. I haven't exactly tried growing specific plants without using seeds, because I haven't really needed to. I thought to myself, maybe when I get good enough I'll be able to conjure specific plant types if it's at all possible.
A tugging on my line brought me around from my thoughts. For a moment I thought I had just imagined it, but seconds later another tug came. Fighting myself to keep calm so I wouldn't lose the fish, I waited for a strong enough bite to give the line a pull and hook the fish. I'm no pro when it comes to fishing, I've definitely lost more bites than I've hooked, but I can catch one every once in a while with a little patience and luck. Hoping it was one of those times, I moved to my knees, trying not to move the line. A larger tug pulled on the line and I flicked my wrist, yanking the pole up to get the hook stuck somewhere on the fish's lip. The result was a hard jerk on the line as the fish was caught and attempted to get away. Wasting no time, I stood and grabbed the line, taking it from the water to look at the fish on the other end of it. The wriggling creature was far from being huge, but it wasn't small or anything. I laughed in triumph as the fish squirmed.
Only then did I think about how ill prepared I was. I cursed myself, but was still pretty optimistic. I had just caught dinner after all. Using my feet as guidance (because my hands were occupied with making sure the fish didn't come off the line), I kicked around on a large stone half-sunk in the lake. By tracing a circle on it with my left foot, I was able to scrape away pieces until the rock became a large bowl suitable for holding water and my fish.
'When did you discover that you could use your feet to control your earth magic?'I shrugged internally, continuing to move the large rock around with my feet to fill it with water and push it up on shore.
Just now I guess. I just kind of tried it and it worked.'I see . . . but notice how crude your work is.' When I looked down at what I had done I wrinkled my nose and scowled. The well for my fish wasn't exactly pretty, but it would do. I unhooked the fish and dropped it into the water.
Yeah-yeah, so it's harder to do things with my feet. It's not like I've ever done it before. 'This is true. All I wished to say was that you're improving . . . but not that much.' Whoa, hey! Rude! I didn't even KNOW I could use my feet a minute ago, cut me some slack! 'Maybe so. I just expect that you pick up on your abilities more swiftly from now on. You have stiff competition, it's time you started acting like it.' Hey wait, are you saying that you've known that I can use my feet all this time? And you never TOLD ME?! 'I thought you were aware!' Titan barked in defense,
'You've done so before! You can kick at the ground and it responds--any part of your body can be used to manipulate the earth, you just have to know how to gain complete control.' Frankly, I was flabbergasted.
You mean . . . I didn't even think it was the same! I just thought "you kick something, it moves". Well shoot . . . this changes things a little. 'A little? This is an entire branch of controlling the earth, an entire segment of your art form. Without mastering the use of your body in accordance with your magic you will never grow any more powerful than you are now. Your magical range could grow exponentially, but this is nothing if you can't put your magic to its full use.' I sighed, trying to return my thoughts to dinner as my stomach growled. I needed a fire going before I could gut and clean the fish. Making fires was difficult, so it would take some time. I needed to start right then and there.
Well . . . fine then. Because I really don't understand how my magic works other than the fact that you give it to me, then I'm going to need you to walk me through it. Meanwhile, I'll get a fire going. 'Very well. Your body is your instrument for earth movement. While it is possible to move the earth without moving yourself to do so, this is difficult without complete mastery of earth magic. You are still too inexperienced for this. In order for you to begin advancing, you must think of the earth and yourself as a cohesive unit. Magic gives you the raw ability to perform a skill-set, but embracing the medium of the skill-set is what will make you truly strong. For example, your stance and how you approach the earth is all very important to your success. A wide, low-centered stance is important to communicating with the earth. You must mimic it. In order to control that which is sturdy and unwilling to move, you must be the same. The easiest way to achieve this is by feeling the energy of the earth move through the part of you that is in contact with it, up into your body, and back into the ground. All energies are circular, and when you can feel them you can act upon them. Earlier today you were unable to use the earth to seek out Bagheera's hiding place in the jungle because you did not allow yourself to feel the earth's energies and seek out what else is in contact with them. This is something you must learn.' Hmm . . . well, all this makes sense. But is that all I have to do? Communicate with my medium and mimic its strengths? 'Of course not, there is much more. As I mentioned before, the way you approach the earth is also important. Even if your stance is as strong as the stone you stand upon, you will not be able to move that stone efficiently if you do not have a strong enough will to. Have you ever noticed the difficulty you have when moving stone, as opposed to soil and clay?' Yeah, it always feels like rock has more resistance to my magic than any other form of earth does. 'This is because stone is stronger, and more stubborn. Sand is the easiest from of earth to manipulate. It's light and moves with fluidity, like water. It doesn't require much of a push or pull to control it, though it needs great flexibility to hold it together. Soils and clay are the middle ground, not as compact as stone, but not as fluid as sand. This takes some will power to move it--just as you must mimic the earth in stance, you must mimic the earth in attitude. You have little trouble with soil because you're stubborn--' Hey! . . . Eh, I guess you're right. 'Precisely. If you were any less stubborn and pushy you would not have much control over your element. But even still, you are not as obstinate as stone. If you wish to gain better control over this form of earth, then you must be immovable. You're too nice, it's time you started treating the earth like a subordinate.' But I thought you said to think of the earth and myself as a cohesive unit. 'I did. You must act as if you and the earth are one, but you must be the stronger of the two. You must be the dominant half of the relationship. Militias in battle fight for the same cause, but within them they have ranking officials calling the shots. This is your relationship with that which you control.' A little confusing but . . . I get it. I have to act like, and be stronger than the earth. That doesn't sound too hard. 'Don't overestimate yourself. You still have a long way to go. I haven't even gotten into how you move in accordance with the earth.' Oh. Well, isn't that just a bunch of fancy moves? I'm sure I can get that easy. 'Don't be naive. I have seen the way you move, and it is the exact opposite of the way you should be when it comes to earth. You use fluid movement, one strike or block flowing into the next. This is perfect for your abilities in agromancy, for plant life is mold-able and capricious. But great strength must show while controlling harder soils and stone. Your movements must be staccato, isolated, and sharp. This is the way to exercise the greatest control, by being master of your magic and showing that you are no softer than your element.' By this time, I was hard at work on my fire. I had gathered as much dry wood and kindling as I could find from the pine forest and was working on a friction fire. It's something I had seen all the time and actually attempted at a girl-scout camp once. It was hard work, but we did it. Hoping that I'd have the same luck, I started twisting the stick with the bow and string rig. This was going to take forever.
Okay, well, when do I get to try all of this out? I need to get better, fast.'This isn't something that comes easily, human. It takes a great deal of concentration and strength building. How quickly you learn is all dependent on how hard you work.'Well, it's kinda a guarantee that I'm not going to be slacking. Let's get started after dinner. As soon as the word popped into my mind, my stomach growled. Again. I moved the bow rig faster, trying to create an ember that would drop into my kindling so I could get my fire started. Forever and a minute later, my kindling started to smoke. Keeping calm, as with the fish, so I wouldn't lose the ember, I cupped the kindling in my hands and blew on it very gently, trying to get it to take. After a bunch of fuss and other details, I was building my fire in an impression in the ground. Bagheera, who had apparently been watching a great deal of the time, left his meal (now mostly finished) and wandered over to me. It was a good thing that his fur is black so I couldn't see the blood on his face.
"You're quite industrious. How do you know how to do all this?" He asked, sitting next to the stone 'bowl' holding my fish. His eyes followed the scaly creature as it swam in circles.
"Well, I grew up camping and learning how to make use of the land." I replied, continuing to feed my growing fire. "My father liked to take us out hiking and backpacking, showing us how to make do with what the earth gives us. He grew up in the countryside, hunting and fishing and stuff. My grandmother was the same way, her family farmed for their food. So it was all kind of instilled in me at a young age. My grandmother wanted us to stay true to our Native American heritage. You probably don't know what that is . . . my ancestors lived similarly to those who live in your man-village."
"So they were hunters." Bagheera interjected, his voice slightly gruff.
I winced a little, deciding I should choose my words a little more carefully. "Well . . . yeah, they were hunters and gatherers. But it's my understanding that they were considerate when it came to resources, they didn't abuse what they had. Though I guess I wasn't there, so I can't exactly be sure that they were. But I don't want to be that way. I try really hard not to take what I have for granted."
"This I can see." Bagheera sighed, laying down with his head on his paws. "I just don't understand most other humans. Hunting is necessary for them, as it is for me, but it is not right when they take more than their fill and are wasteful. They are greedy."
"I can't deny that people are greedy. But I think that those people are just misled and ignorant. I'm pretty sure mankind is inherently good, it's just that they often don't know enough to stay that way . . . if that makes sense."
Well that was all kind of just skimming the surface of it all, but I wasn't about to go into all that mess, so I left it at that. The two of us remained quiet as I continued to work, building my fire and making my dinner. Bagheera chuckled at me as I struggled to get the fish out of my stone bowl, chasing it around and spilling water everywhere. As soon as I finally caught up with it, I took my spear and quickly dispatched it (which is always the part I hate most, so I tried to make it as quick as possible). In no time I had my fish gutted, cleaned, and cut so I could cook it on a flat rock next to my fire. I took the guttings, head, and tail (keeping some pieces for bait later on) and moved to throw it in the lake before thinking twice.
"You want this?" I asked my feline companion. He just smiled and shook his head. With a shrug, I tossed the remains in the lake, watching as a few fish swam up and nibbled at the pieces as they sank.
When my dinner was ready I practically devoured it. Bagheera might have even thought that I was a messier eater than he was. But as soon as it was gone and my stomach was full, I was quite satisfied. And ready to get straight back to training.
Alright, let's get on it.'Easy there, I think you need to rest a little more. You should take the rest of the night off. Write in your journal some, digest the day a little.'Titan, I can't. You think Elleon is taking the night off?'Probably . . .' I sighed, he was right. I did need the rest. I was still sore and needed to get my head on straight. Taking care of dinner and everything had been a great distraction, but I had to remember that I had had a bit of a break down a little earlier. It was about time to retire for the evening so I could actually get some recovery time. What a concept.
"I think it's about time we head back and call it a night." I said to my furry friend, debating on weather I should take some fire back with me. I figured I would be okay, I didn't have much to worry about. I was hanging out with a panther after all. That and I didn't really need to worry about being cold. I was in a jungle and sweating twenty four-seven.
"Oh good, I thought you'd never rest."
"What, am I running you ragged old man?" I chuckled, getting to my feet stiffly.
"I'd say it's the opposite!" Bagheera teased, nudging me playfully and taking the lead.
The two of us walked back to my shelter, both of us in a good mood but thoroughly tired. I couldn't hit the sack just yet, though, I had to catch up in this thing. And so I have. I find myself trying to reflect, but there's nothing I can be certain about. All I'm left with is questions that lead to more questions. The biggest one is what my Replica's motive is. She's confusing--just when I think something about her, or that she's following a certain lead, everything changes and she's got something else going on. Maybe she doesn't know what she's doing and is just messing around here and there just for the hell of it. Heck, if it were me, and in an awful way it is, I'd dabble around here and there before pulling my act together. It's terrible to have to think this way, but in order to get into her--
my--head, I gotta get dark. She's probably looking for experiences, testing what she can do and indulging in what's different. As much as she wants to be a free spirit, she's captive to her own limitations an uncertainties. So she's gotta do it all, test my limitations in order to find her own. That's what has me so anxious that I can hardly stand it. Just what is she going to do with me next. My imagination has run rampant with this one, which means hers has as well, in a nasty way. She has every thought of despicable me inside her and more. She wants control, power, infamy, satisfaction, and the thing is . . . she hasn't figured out how to get at it yet. That's dangerous. And oh, she knows she's dangerous. She knows that shes got my neck on the chopping block. But that's still not good enough for her. I can't help but wonder.
I wonder if she hates herself . . . I would.
