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 Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 5:29 pm
epic-writer42 I can't seem to tell how stressed I am till I snap at someone and up eating my own foot. But I get tired of being misinterperated, I say I'm out of knives, you give me forks. Honestly, it's not your fault. We can't interpret properly on the internet. Albert Mehrabian found that about 93% of communication is non-verbal. It's expressed in body language (non-verbal doesn't mean text, it means physical expression xD), the environment, etc. "I'm so sorry" could be sincere or sarcastic depending on who is saying it, when, how, where, and why they're saying it.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 5:58 pm
You don't ditch your friends half way into a movie that was YOUR idea to watch to go see your girlfriend.
You just don't.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 7:08 pm
epic-writer42 I can't seem to tell how stressed I am till I snap at someone and up eating my own foot. But I get tired of being misinterperated, I say I'm out of knives, you give me forks. Use the forks! ninja
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 7:59 pm
I want to be able to suppress memories at will. Like, actually suppress them, so that I don't remember them anymore. I seem to lack the part of the brain necessary for "getting over" things...there are things that happened over ten years ago that still haunt me like they were yesterday. The best I can do is forget, but it takes a long time to stop thinking about something once it reappears in my brain. I can't...I can't get over things, and there are some things that...I think not being able to get over them no matter what I try...I think it's part of what's ripping my brain apart. Part of why I always feel on the verge of true insanity lately. Even when I'm not thinking about things...they have to come back up sometime. I've tried everything, but I can never fully get over something, and the more upsetting the memory, the less peace I get from it even years later.
If I killed myself, I'd be rid of those memories forever...
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:02 pm
Even I can't do that, nor would I want to, these things develop your character and promote wisdom, but I can control how I respond to them.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:03 pm
✿
Question: What if something we want to get off our chest is rooted in real life, but can spill over onto gaia? Not in a bad way, of course, at least for gaia, the zcb, etc.
In other words, I want to say something, but due to the new rules, I'm not sure if I can.
✿
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:07 pm
CH0Z0 Even I can't do that, nor would I want to, these things develop your character and promote wisdom, but I can control how I respond to them. But I can't, that's the thing. I've never been able to control my emotional responses, no matter what. Memories are no exception. Especially the more traumatic things, which come up more often and more strongly...like...right now I can't stop thinking about that thing I told Cleo back in April, and even though I'll never see him again, and even though he apologized, and even though I'm actually sure he meant nothing by it because his sense of humor was always like that, I think it really scarred me deep inside because I can't forget it, I remember it sometimes and it won't leave me alone and I just want to curl up and die whenever I do. And it's inextricably linked to a good thing that happened once, so I end up thinking about that thing a lot more often and then it comes back. If I could only suppress one memory, that would be it. I want what he said and what I felt about it gone forever. EDIT: And now I'm shaking really badly, so please excuse any typoes in the near future. Sometimes when I'm shaking or crying and it gets bad enough, I stop bothering to fix them at all because they increase so dramatically.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:10 pm
Most people can't and the ones that can can't always.
Reflection is a strong thing, it's one thing we have that is pretty cool, to be able to think about anytime anywhere anytime.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:15 pm
I don't want to ever think again. I'm too upset. I've told plenty of people and I'm perfectly willing to tell any of you (I wasn't back then because I apparently didn't want "a barrage of responses" according to my PM history, but now I am...well...maybe not just anyone...I'd have to trust that the person would take me seriously and not brush off my feelings just because it might not have been a big deal if it had happened to them), but...with these things, even telling people helps only infinitessimally, when usually it pretty much makes me feel all better.
I don't want to ever remember that again. It's...it's a pathetic thing to have gotten upset about, but it apparently left a mark. A really big, ugly, permanent one. Just words...just words, and I'll never see him again and he didn't mean anything by it and I'll never see him again and maybe someday he'll make a comment like that to a female coworker and get thrown in jail forever...but even that thought doesn't console me. :/
...Actually, maybe it does a little...but so little that I can barely tell...
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:18 pm
There are rather dumb things I myself have gotten upset about.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:22 pm
Jennivieve ✿
Question: What if something we want to get off our chest is rooted in real life, but can spill over onto gaia? Not in a bad way, of course, at least for gaia, the zcb, etc.
In other words, I want to say something, but due to the new rules, I'm not sure if I can.
✿ Like... a problem in your life? Well we post secrets no one knows about all the time. Will it affect other people that are on Gaia? I"m a bit confused of what the question is Dx
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:26 pm
Enough to drive you insane? Face it, I'm more pathetic than any of you could ever be. >.> It's like I have this thought, this memory in my head and it's literally driving me crazy...but even though I've talked about it, it's still clawing at my brain. Of course, it's a lot worse when I have to suppress it, when it comes up and I have to pretend like everything's fine...like, I'm glad I'm home alone. Of course, everything's always worse when my parents are--my parents my mother my mother said it was my fault my mother said I had no right to react like that...my mother found out because THEY betrayed me and told her even though they know I have problems with her and she gave me this lecture on how I should learn to deal with these things because even though it was technically sexual harassment most other kids wouldn't have cared at all and I have no right to have been scarred for life and just when I was feeling better about it the day after she said that she said it's my fault for not feeling the way anyone else would have felt and it just made me feel worse again...my parents...I like when they're not home and I can sit at my computer till the ungodly hours of the night and cry and shake and get things out my way...
It's strange...how I think so badly of myself, until my mother or father says the same thing, and then I mentally leap to my defense. :/ I am pathetic and it was stupid, but I'm the only one who can say that without upsetting...me.
Mind screw. ._.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:30 pm
Enough to make me make faces at myself later, yes
usually raising my right eyebrow, as I do when somebody does something stupid.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:32 pm
Feels like I'm gonna throw up...
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:34 pm
Well, you can always slide me a pm if you want to talk about anything not suitable for even here.
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