The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Oxxidation.2]

Quote:

"Engorged lovestick" also works when describing the male reproductive organs.

Please please please please PLEASE tell me you didn't actually read something that used that phrase.

[Raincrow]

Oxxidation.2

Quote:

"Engorged lovestick" also works when describing the male reproductive organs.

Please please please please PLEASE tell me you didn't actually read something that used that phrase.

No. Actually, I got it from an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., where the main focus of the epidsode was some lady who wrote saucy p0rn novels.

[LoneGothic]

*mentally lashes at herself for reading that*

And as Anne Rice always does it, his/her's 'sex'. Use the word 'silken/silk/anything silk related' as much as possible.

[x_haphazard_x]

M00NEY

Adopted children can't always have known they were adopted. Their parents must break the news to them after the child has discovered a secret from their past (an old photograph or a locket, perhaps?) and the news must send the child on a search for his/her biological parents. The character must never consider who raised him/her. He/she must always feel betrayed.

This sort of happens in a story I'm writing... eek -the search for parents, - they feeling of betrayal, -the locket or whatever. In fact, because she was "posing" as a princess, the whole thing causes an international incident and such. Essentially, according to the "walls have ears" theory, if the Queen would have told her own daughter, the whole thing would have exploded sooner. But that may have been better, now that they've gotten the country that she was betrothed to involved.

[Veive]

If the main character finds something unique or magical (like a dragon egg) it must be because of DESTINY!!111!

And not because, you know, someone dropped it and he stumbled upon it despite having no interest in riding dragons or whatever.

Sorry, I just spent an hour going through the first chapter of Eragon and, well, editing it. sweatdrop I couldn't restrain myself.

[Lebki]

Veive

Sorry, I just spent an hour going through the first chapter of Eragon and, well, editing it. sweatdrop I couldn't restrain myself.

You too? I think his copyeditor should be fired. Or maybe the editor didn't have much to work with in the first place....

[x_haphazard_x]

Lebki

Veive

Sorry, I just spent an hour going through the first chapter of Eragon and, well, editing it. sweatdrop I couldn't restrain myself.

You too? I think his copyeditor should be fired. Or maybe the editor didn't have much to work with in the first place....

I think the editor was actually his dad sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop

[Veive]

x_haphazard_x

Lebki

Veive

Sorry, I just spent an hour going through the first chapter of Eragon and, well, editing it. sweatdrop I couldn't restrain myself.

You too? I think his copyeditor should be fired. Or maybe the editor didn't have much to work with in the first place....

I think the editor was actually his dad sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop

Luckily, his writing has apparently somewhat improved in Eldest, though I only read the first few paragraphs. stressed As soon as I finish rereading Eragon and editing it to be halfway decent, I may very well rent Eldest to see if he somehow saves his reputation in my eyes.

[Raincrow]

Veive

x_haphazard_x

Lebki

Veive

Sorry, I just spent an hour going through the first chapter of Eragon and, well, editing it. sweatdrop I couldn't restrain myself.

You too? I think his copyeditor should be fired. Or maybe the editor didn't have much to work with in the first place....

I think the editor was actually his dad sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop

Luckily, his writing has apparently somewhat improved in Eldest, though I only read the first few paragraphs. stressed As soon as I finish rereading Eragon and editing it to be halfway decent, I may very well rent Eldest to see if he somehow saves his reputation in my eyes.

You'll facepalm yourself to death when you read about what happened to the star-marked child. rolleyes

[x_haphazard_x]

Raincrow

Veive

x_haphazard_x

Lebki

Veive

Sorry, I just spent an hour going through the first chapter of Eragon and, well, editing it. sweatdrop I couldn't restrain myself.

You too? I think his copyeditor should be fired. Or maybe the editor didn't have much to work with in the first place....

I think the editor was actually his dad sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop

Luckily, his writing has apparently somewhat improved in Eldest, though I only read the first few paragraphs. stressed As soon as I finish rereading Eragon and editing it to be halfway decent, I may very well rent Eldest to see if he somehow saves his reputation in my eyes.

You'll facepalm yourself to death when you read about what happened to the star-marked child. rolleyes

Yes, I probably will. Do they become the next Rider or summat? *Extra points for me if I got it right... ^^*

[radioactive alchemist]

I picked up Eragon in the bookstore and read the first page before putting it back on the shelf and backing away slowly, swearing to never let it touch me again.

If there is an object of great evil in the story, it must have an aura that makes it hard to touch and will posses a character's soul if they maintain contact for too long.

[Raincrow]

If a character is killed early in a book without a dramatic death scene, a chapter in which to soliloquy about their regrets, wax poetic, and then reaffirm the hero, and is simply dumped into a deep, dark chasm that apparently has no bottom...they're not really dead. xp

[Charmcat]

The Dark Lord always lives in a heavily fortified castle, where anyone can find him. He never, say, wanders around doing great evil. Dark Lords delegate.


. . . and damn did that just give me a good story idea . . .

[foryourfaults]

Charmcat

The Dark Lord always lives in a heavily fortified castle, where anyone can find him. He never, say, wanders around doing great evil. Dark Lords delegate.


. . . and damn did that just give me a good story idea . . .

Don't they more manage to live in their heavily fortified castle AND terrorize the kingdom magically at the same time?

[Charmcat]

foryourfaults

Charmcat

The Dark Lord always lives in a heavily fortified castle, where anyone can find him. He never, say, wanders around doing great evil. Dark Lords delegate.


. . . and damn did that just give me a good story idea . . .

Don't they more manage to live in their heavily fortified castle AND terrorize the kingdom magically at the same time?

The ones I'm used to use flunkies, but magic seems like a good alternative too.
But the important thing is that they never leave the castle. They're always there when the hero comes calling.