The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Lolita Doll]

Sergeant Sargent

Satan can only be portrayed one of two ways: an evil beast with red skin, cloven hoves, horns, and a goatee or a regular guy with horns and a tail in a corporate buisness suit. Because as everyone knows corporations are ALWAYS evil.

Satan must not ever be referred to Lucifer, his real God given name.

If he is portrayed as a regular guy with horns, tail and the corporate business suit, he must be either ugly or mildly attractive. There is no such thing as Satan being super dead sexy, despite the million accounts in the bible referring to Lucifer as "the most beautiful angel of them all." I mean who ever heard of sin being so tempting??

Also the devil cannot have any other hair color than black. Blonde hair is for the angels. I mean who cares that Lucifer means "light?" He's a demon now and by the logic of magic, demonism makes your either ugly or all in black.

[Astarael--Banisher]

Lolita Doll

Sergeant Sargent

Satan can only be portrayed one of two ways: an evil beast with red skin, cloven hoves, horns, and a goatee or a regular guy with horns and a tail in a corporate buisness suit. Because as everyone knows corporations are ALWAYS evil.

Satan must not ever be referred to Lucifer, his real God given name.

If he is portrayed as a regular guy with horns, tail and the corporate business suit, he must be either ugly or mildly attractive. There is no such thing as Satan being super dead sexy, despite the million accounts in the bible referring to Lucifer as "the most beautiful angel of them all." I mean who ever heard of sin being so tempting??

Also the devil cannot have any other hair color than black. Blonde hair is for the angels. I mean who cares that Lucifer means "light?" He's a demon now and by the logic of magic, demonism makes your either ugly or all in black.

Or red. Satan can have red hair, too! But then it has to look like 'dormant flames writhing in agony' or something dippy like that.

[The Amazing Shiny Magpie]

Killing the main character in the very beginning. or middle.

[Astarael--Banisher]

Magpie_gold

Killing the main character in the very beginning. or middle.

As a side note, I like what my teacher says regarding stories she doesn't like: "Kill them all off in the first scene, so I don't have to read the whole horrible story. Bleagh!"

I have a fun teacher.

[Rid V]

Given the chance, your main character will always abandon the main group, and go out alone, or with the other main characters, to fight/kill/capture the enemy, or do some other dangerous task, usually because s/he has something to prove, usually to the leader of the main group, or the love interest. This invariably blows up in his/her/their face/s. They screw up the mission, and usually, something bad happens to them, to the main group, to some other important party/village/other, to some combination, or to all three.

[wingnut the improbable]

Rid V

Given the chance, your main character will always abandon the main group, and go out alone, or with the other main characters, to fight/kill/capture the enemy, or do some other dangerous task, usually because s/he has something to prove, usually to the leader of the main group, or the love interest. This invariably blows up in his/her/their face/s. They screw up the mission, and usually, something bad happens to them, to the main group, to some other important party/village/other, to some combination, or to all three.

And yet, he is always forgiven, and he certainly won't get fired because of it.

[Rid V]

Whenever a main character/group of main characters or group of evil lackeys unleash a devastating attack on either a single evil character or single good character, respectively, the attacked character will disappear in a blinding explosion or cloud of smoke. The one/s who attacked will all cheer at their victory, except perhaps for one character who can "sense" something inside the dust cloud. The dust will the evaporate, revealing the character attacked, who is completely undamaged.

((I can't believe I actually did this once, I'll have to rewrite it!))

[Astarael--Banisher]

Rid V

Whenever a main character/group of main characters or group of evil lackeys unleash a devastating attack on either a single evil character or single good character, respectively, the attacked character will disappear in a blinding explosion or cloud of smoke. The one/s who attacked will all cheer at their victory, except perhaps for one character who can "sense" something inside the dust cloud. The dust will the evaporate, revealing the character attacked, who is completely undamaged.

((I can't believe I actually did this once, I'll have to rewrite it!))

((This one is... so true! And they do always cheer... They never look before cheering, the idiots.))

[Zireaell]

The good characters have to always be outnumbered by the evil ones. Always. Even if there are an army of a few hundred - the only evil they'll ever meet will be more numerous.

[Indigo Dagger]

Zireaell

The good characters have to always be outnumbered by the evil ones. Always. Even if there are an army of a few hundred - the only evil they'll ever meet will be more numerous.

Unless they meet the main villain, who will come alone. But they'll be no match for his awesome power!

[BoyNeedsTherapy]

I can't stand novels where people die in the middle of the story. Villains is ok, but main character, supporting protaganists etc are bad.

I remember reading this gay series on the internet called 'Wayward People'; the author (a woman rolleyes ) killed the main character's boyfriend at Christmas Eve. Suicide. That was the most aweful thing I've ever read in my whole life. I think I was gaping, shocked for a well over 20 minutes. That's not a good effect on readers.

[Astarael--Banisher]

The bad guy, the Evil One, the King of Darkness (whatever his name is), will always be the toughest foe your hero will face. His armies will be tough, and his private soldies and mages will be tough, but He Will Be Tougher! Because, obviusly, might makes right in your world, and leaders have to be super-mean fighting machines.

[Charlie_The_Bad]

But no matter how much of a lean, mean killing machine the villain is, he should always work for somebody even more powerful, meaner, sadistic, etc. And this person (who is the real villain) isn't revealed until the last possible moment.

Who cares if the readers haven't had enough time to care about this guy? You said he was bad! That should be enough for anybody. Besides, it worked wonders for Dragonball Z, didn't it?