The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

Alphagirl

Any and all mistakes in spelling, grammar, capitalization, punctuation, characterization, chronology, the laws of nature, common sense, or the value of pi can be chalked up to chocolate, caffiene, sugar, or monosodium glutamate. As long as you lay the blame for your troubles on a chemical substance or lack of sleep, everyone will understand and forgive you of all wrongs.

It's not like you can fix those in another draft.

[shayerahol22]

'Of' and 'have' are the exact same thing. Also, 'two', 'to', and 'too' are the same thing. Same with 'their', 'they're' and 'there', as well as 'you're' and 'your'. Tense is completely irrelevant, as is spelling. Oh, don't forget 'its' and 'it's'. Chat phrases are also totally acceptable.
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Ryvynne Crys'ta'yjalia Sylvyrnytye knew her friends Mary and Sue should of picked dresses other than the to they get. They're dresses made there bodys showed of unflatteryingly. Ryvynne Crys'ta'yjalia Sylyvrnytye got a dress two but her's was perfect. It's sequined band and armstrap fitted her perfectly (because she has teh perfect body) and everything on it shimmered in any light. Its clearly the most beautiful dress.

"YOU'RE DRESS IS SO OMG!!11ONE! BEAUTIFUL!!!" Sue exclaimed, looking over at Ryvynne Crys'ta'yjalia Sylvyrnytyes dress. "Your so pretty, ILU!" Mary moves closeer too jane and to over their were Ryvynne Crys'ta'yjalia Sylvyrnytye was showing of her beayutiful dress but not in a conseted way becaus Ryvynne Crys'ta'yjalia Sylvyrnytye is a pretty and beautiful and nice persona nd she is not conseted at all.

"YEAH!" Jane agreed "We wish we where so pretty as you!"
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... Someone get me a gun with a lone bullet in it. Please.
(huggles grammar)

[I_Write_Ivre]

Beauty is more important than logic in stories.

[YourFatalMistake]

Please take great care to describe, in excruciating detail, the absolute beauty of your hero/ine's love interest at least three times per page. Make sure the reader cannot forget that he/she is perfect in every way, and do it through the descriptions of physical beauty. That personality crap is just a waste of space that could be used to further describe the way his/her intense eyes glitter in the amazing lighting.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

YourFatalMistake

Please take great care to describe, in excruciating detail, the absolute beauty of your hero/ine's love interest at least three times per page. Make sure the reader cannot forget that he/she is perfect in every way, and do it through the descriptions of physical beauty. That personality crap is just a waste of space that could be used to further describe the way his/her intense eyes glitter in the amazing lighting.

It's important to tell us what brand of everything your character has/ wears.

[Gurotsuki]

The Phoenix Rises Again

It's important to tell us what brand of everything your character has/ wears.

Especially Hot Topic.

[WhovianMadman]

If your main character isn't totally kawaii and has magical colour changing eyes and hair in an unnatural colour, people will hate your story.

[Neutron_star_collision]

Sex sells, so make sure you get some in at all cost. Don't be afraid to write it, even if you're a virgin and/or fail biology forever. And it has to be sexy, so don't bother with realism. EVER. This was the advice given to the creators of practically every movie and TV show ever made, so you know it's gotta be good. Mhmm.

[I am The Compendium]

Neutron_star_collision

Sex sells, so make sure you get some in at all cost. Don't be afraid to write it, even if you're a virgin and/or fail biology forever. And it has to be sexy, so don't bother with realism. EVER. This was the advice given to the creators of practically every movie and TV show ever made, so you know it's gotta be good. Mhmm.

Sex is always sexy.

[Neutron_star_collision]

I am The Compendium

Neutron_star_collision

Sex sells, so make sure you get some in at all cost. Don't be afraid to write it, even if you're a virgin and/or fail biology forever. And it has to be sexy, so don't bother with realism. EVER. This was the advice given to the creators of practically every movie and TV show ever made, so you know it's gotta be good. Mhmm.

Sex is always sexy.

Exactly. Realism? Pah! You need to stretch your audience's willing suspension of disbelief more than a self-lubricating a**s in fanfiction.

[Alphagirl]

On the topic of sex in fiction, it is always unplanned and spontaneous. No one ever plans to have sex (unless they really plan and go all out with candles and rose petals). Characters never simply agree that after dinner they'll go have sex. It's always an impromptu act of passion. Once the commitment to sex has been made, it is impossible to delay the act, so they must rip each other's clothes off and be lucky if they make it to the bed.

[I am The Compendium]

Alphagirl

On the topic of sex in fiction, it is always unplanned and spontaneous. No one ever plans to have sex (unless they really plan and go all out with candles and rose petals). Characters never simply agree that after dinner they'll go have sex. It's always an impromptu act of passion. Once the commitment to sex has been made, it is impossible to delay the act, so they must rip each other's clothes off and be lucky if they make it to the bed.

The best time to do this is when the characters should be trying to keep the bad guys away.

People who use the phrase 'common sense' are just making things up.

[Alphagirl]

The best way to get anyone to read your fiction is to label it, "R&R, please!" and nothing else. It lets people know what your priorities really are, so they won't waste their time reviewing those people who only care about writing good stories.

[Shineeing Cassie]

Alphagirl

The best way to get anyone to read your fiction is to label it, "R&R, please!" and nothing else. It lets people know what your priorities really are, so they won't waste their time reviewing those people who only care about writing good stories.

And the best thing to do when readers did not rate and review after reading your fanfiction is express your feelings, you made a very awesome fanfic with "awesome-ly" perfect characters and they won't bother to "R&R"? How hurtful!

Tell them you've become uninspired because of them not commenting on your fic. When you make another chapter make sure to put a "R&R" quota, 10 "R&Rs" maybe? And warn them that you won't write the next chapter when your fanfic did not receive the minimum R&Rs it deserves.

[keetles]

If someone comments negatively, you should disregard their remarks and tell them that they are stupid, because they don't have any idea what they are talking about. You are obviously a writing god.