The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

All families have birthmarks specific to them that are always conveniently coverable by society's changing norms of fashion.

[Nightmare1]

The Phoenix Rises Again

All families have birthmarks specific to them that are always conveniently coverable by society's changing norms of fashion.

Having said birthmark, if a royal family, is the only qualifier to inherit the throne. Experience? Knowledge of the country and its politics? Training to take the throne? Ruthlessness of other family members (minus the token evil uncle?) or enemies? What are those?

Also, once your MC inherits the throne, the kingdom is ruled perfectly. There are no fumbles or foul-ups, and everyone is content with the new ruler. Unless, of course, they are evil.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Nightmare1

The Phoenix Rises Again

All families have birthmarks specific to them that are always conveniently coverable by society's changing norms of fashion.

Having said birthmark, if a royal family, is the only qualifier to inherit the throne. Experience? Knowledge of the country and its politics? Training to take the throne? Ruthlessness of other family members (minus the token evil uncle?) or enemies? What are those?

Also, once your MC inherits the throne, the kingdom is ruled perfectly. There are no fumbles or foul-ups, and everyone is content with the new ruler. Unless, of course, they are evil.

It's not possible for an unrelated person anywhere in the world to have a similar birthmark. If they have it, they're a long-lost relative!

[Writer Selbe]

GaijinGuy36

marshmallowcreampie

Writer Selbe

Tie up everything in your endings so nothing is left to the imagination of the reader.

Never imply or be subtle about anything.

Pfft. Subtlety is for poets and other losers, not fiction writers. talk2hand

Or people whose audience consists of intellectuals.

[Raccoonwolf]

The hero/ine must never be proud of their talents. They couldn't have wanted them, and they couldn't think of using, for example, their magical talents for comfort. It's bad to use magic for anything else than saving people/the world, fighting and healing.

The hero/ine will always be or become distanced from the others. Once they're done with saving the world, normal persons' small worries can't touch them anymore.

Normal people are stupid, and can't worry about anything bigger than a broken roof. If you tell them the evil will attack their village, they won't even bother to check. But the MC still loves them from the bottom of his heart, always. He/she never thinks "I said so", even bitterly.

The hero/ine must have a destiny they can't escape from no matter what, and they will want to do the exact opposite. But still end up doing as was predicted.

If there are two enemy groups (apart from Good and Evil), the conflict actually be about some goat that was or wasn't killed by someone from one of the groups, and a girl and a boy from the opposing groups will fall in love and solve the conflict, possibly dying tragically in the progress.

The hero/ine never has an unsuitable name. The names will always perfectly describe their personality and destiny. Also, things must have true names that don't just describe them, but are them.

[Misuki Marishima]

Raccoonwolf

The hero/ine must never be proud of their talents. They couldn't have wanted them, and they couldn't think of using, for example, their magical talents for comfort. It's bad to use magic for anything else than saving people/the world, fighting and healing.

The hero/ine will always be or become distanced from the others. Once they're done with saving the world, normal persons' small worries can't touch them anymore.

Normal people are stupid, and can't worry about anything bigger than a broken roof. If you tell them the evil will attack their village, they won't even bother to check. But the MC still loves them from the bottom of his heart, always. He/she never thinks "I said so", even bitterly.

The hero/ine must have a destiny they can't escape from no matter what, and they will want to do the exact opposite. But still end up doing as was predicted.

If there are two enemy groups (apart from Good and Evil), the conflict actually be about some goat that was or wasn't killed by someone from one of the groups, and a girl and a boy from the opposing groups will fall in love and solve the conflict, possibly dying tragically in the progress.

The hero/ine never has an unsuitable name. The names will always perfectly describe their personality and destiny. Also, things must have true names that don't just describe them, but are them.

Your hero/ine's fantastic name must be heard in all the lands. It surely won't make it easier for the enemy forces to come after them, because that just doesn't happen.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Misuki Marishima

Your hero/ine's fantastic name must be heard in all the lands. It surely won't make it easier for the enemy forces to come after them, because that just doesn't happen.

Everyone believes in the legend too.

[the hidden ghost]

Archaeologists are only interested in dinosaurs and Egyptology.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

the hidden ghost

Archaeologists are only interested in dinosaurs and Egyptology.

Everything's in Egypt and all languages are the same. Duh.

[avearia]

marshmallowcreampie

Nightmare1

The Phoenix Rises Again

All families have birthmarks specific to them that are always conveniently coverable by society's changing norms of fashion.

Having said birthmark, if a royal family, is the only qualifier to inherit the throne. Experience? Knowledge of the country and its politics? Training to take the throne? Ruthlessness of other family members (minus the token evil uncle?) or enemies? What are those?

Also, once your MC inherits the throne, the kingdom is ruled perfectly. There are no fumbles or foul-ups, and everyone is content with the new ruler. Unless, of course, they are evil.

It's not possible for an unrelated person anywhere in the world to have a similar birthmark. If they have it, they're a long-lost relative!

And the birthmark is never a splotch or a squiggle. It always takes a specific shape, like a heart, or a dragon. IT'S SYMBOLIC.

[Twilight Scribe]

««xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ａｎｄ　ａｔ　ｌａｓｔ　ｉ　ｓｅｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｌｉｇｈｔ　ａｎｄ　ａｔ　ｌａｓｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｆｏｇ　ｉｓ　ｌｉｆｔｅｄ

If writing a sex scene, make sure it is written in the most flowery language that you can manage. As well, make sure never to use the correct words for the naughty bits; you must always come up with a loving euphemism such as 'the towering display of his virility' and her 'innermost pink flower.' Your readers will lap it up and consider you a hero.




xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx««
ａｌｌ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｎｅｖｅｒ 　ｓｅｅｉｎｇ　ｔｈｉｎｇｓ　ａｎｄ　ｓｈｅ　ｉｓ　ｈｅｒｅ　ｓｈｉｎｉｎｇ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｔａｒｌｉｇｈｔ　ａｎｄ　ｉ　ａｍ　ｈｏｍｅ

[Misuki Marishima]

Make sure that your benevolent ruler is offed by his advisor. It must always be a King who is offed by their Chancellor, never a Queen. The Chancellor could just force the Queen into marraige if he wanted control!

(I've never actually seen the Queen one, but I'm certain it's out there.)

[I_Write_Ivre]

Misuki Marishima

Make sure that your benevolent ruler is offed by his advisor. It must always be a King who is offed by their Chancellor, never a Queen. The Chancellor could just force the Queen into marraige if he wanted control!

(I've never actually seen the Queen one, but I'm certain it's out there.)

They don't marry the queen, dummy, the marry the princess. All Kings have daughters.

[Desi the fuzzy fluffhead]

I_Write_Ivre

Misuki Marishima

Make sure that your benevolent ruler is offed by his advisor. It must always be a King who is offed by their Chancellor, never a Queen. The Chancellor could just force the Queen into marraige if he wanted control!

(I've never actually seen the Queen one, but I'm certain it's out there.)

They don't marry the queen, dummy, the marry the princess. All Kings have daughters.

And Kings always groom their daughters for the throne and respect them, at least the good kings do, if they don't they're evil.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Misuki Marishima

Your hero/ine's fantastic name must be heard in all the lands. It surely won't make it easier for the enemy forces to come after them, because that just doesn't happen.

The fact that they go everywhere in a really unique, obvious way (like riding a big, black dragon or going through on a golden carriage) won't make it easy for them to be tracked, either.