The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[1upMushroomCloud]

marshmallowcreampie

Question for the Anti-Guide: I'm writing a story about a race of humanoid creatures with wings. Do you have any tips for writing about such beings?

Always make them either Angel Wings, Demon Wings, or one of each. And also, only have them coming out of their shoulder blades and being separate from their arms. Besides this, they should look exactly like humans. Except there are no ugly people.

[Minion Ripley]

Cerulean Beyonder

Quote:

And if you find that your story has been a bit short on angst lately (because there must always be angst), just have the villain come along out of the blue and kill all of the members of that species, save for that one character. Then that character can cry and write horrific amazing emo poetry about being the only one left. And, presto! You now have angst.

((Hey! What about the Avatar: The Last Airbender series? They pulled that one off quite nicely, minus the horrific extremely well written emo poetry.))

((Well, I've never watched that series, so I can't really judge on that. :/ But, I'd say that, sometimes, writing the "last of his/her kind" idea can work out. However, it just seems like I frequently see it used in low-quality work as simply an excuse to make a character "speshul" and nothing more. So, I would say, like with most of the ideas listed in the Anti-Guide, it really depends on the skill of the writer in whether it comes off as overdone and cheesy or well-written and original.

And, on that note...))

If even just one person doesn't like your story for some tiny issue, you must immediately throw said story into a burning fire and hate it for eternity. Your writing must fully please everyone on the first try, and there is no such thing as editing or controversy. Disregard the fact that people have different tastes, thus rendering such an endeavor futile from the start. You should only exist to please the masses.

[Moral Gutpunch]

Minion Ripley

If even just one person doesn't like your story for some tiny issue, you must immediately throw said story into a burning fire and hate it for eternity. Your writing must fully please everyone on the first try, and there is no such thing as editing or controversy. Disregard the fact that people have different tastes, thus rendering such an endeavor futile from the start. You should only exist to please the masses.

No, you throw them into the fire because they were mean enough to say you did something wrong. I mean, they forced you to do it.

[Minion Ripley]

Sadira Commands you

Minion Ripley

If even just one person doesn't like your story for some tiny issue, you must immediately throw said story into a burning fire and hate it for eternity. Your writing must fully please everyone on the first try, and there is no such thing as editing or controversy. Disregard the fact that people have different tastes, thus rendering such an endeavor futile from the start. You should only exist to please the masses.

No, you throw them into the fire because they were mean enough to say you did something wrong. I mean, they forced you to do it.

Or, if you like the idea of being a tortured poet or writer, say it's because of both. You're doing your best to please everyone, but those awful, awful few people keep pointing out flaws in your work and ruining it all! How dare they! It'll never be the same now! crying

[Moral Gutpunch]

Minion Ripley

Sadira Commands you

Minion Ripley

If even just one person doesn't like your story for some tiny issue, you must immediately throw said story into a burning fire and hate it for eternity. Your writing must fully please everyone on the first try, and there is no such thing as editing or controversy. Disregard the fact that people have different tastes, thus rendering such an endeavor futile from the start. You should only exist to please the masses.

No, you throw them into the fire because they were mean enough to say you did something wrong. I mean, they forced you to do it.

Or, if you like the idea of being a tortured poet or writer, say it's because of both. You're doing your best to please everyone, but those awful, awful few people keep pointing out flaws in your work and ruining it all! How dare they! It'll never be the same now! crying

Of course. How dare they offer help after correcting you! It's not polite to help or show people how to make things better! Horrible people who eat puppies for breakfast made you call them names.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Cerulean Beyonder

Quote:

And if you find that your story has been a bit short on angst lately (because there must always be angst), just have the villain come along out of the blue and kill all of the members of that species, save for that one character. Then that character can cry and write horrific amazing emo poetry about being the only one left. And, presto! You now have angst.

((Hey! What about the Avatar: The Last Airbender series? They pulled that one off quite nicely, minus the horrific extremely well written emo poetry.))

((Aang doesn't constantly angst (would it be called... Aangst? I couldn't resist rofl ) like a whiny like b***h all the time. It would be fairly understandable if he was a little angsty from time to time, and he does express regret at running away. It's really just the whole "last of their kind" storylines are very often poorly written. Ah, Avatar, just about the only children's show with genocide.))

Of course winged people will be beautiful, duh! Every member of every humanoid species (save for humans, orcs, dwarves, and trolls) will be beautiful. EVERY member. And it's not like beauty is subjective or anything, or that the winged folk will not follow the traditional western/Eurocentric beauty standard you and your readers follow.

[marshmallowcreampie]

avearia

(( Werewolves-dragons: folklore and incomplete knowledge of science
Sky Bison: Avatar: the last airbender
Banshee: ... uh, avatar the movie? i think?
fox squirrels: North American red fox squirrels
Picachus: Pokemon
Hobbits: J.R.R. Tolkein's universe LOTR
Cats & Turtles: Awesome real-life, wide spread animals. ))

--

Fantasy worlds always have monarchies, and a royal lineage.

((Ah, nobody got the Fox Squirrels right. They're from the movie Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, though they have made some unnamed appearances in other Miyazaki movies.))

Quote:

It automatically makes them pretty, but they angst about it. And the wings. And flight. But not the actual drawbacks such as learning to fly or getting through doorways. Thaose aren't things to angst about.

Every human in the world, save your self-insert love interest human character, will HATE your character for having wings! The exception, the love interest, will think they're beautiful. He'll fall for her, of course, it's not like he'd prefer anyone of his own species. As for teh angst, you're right, looks and fitting in with humans are the ONLY things they'll worry about. A winged person will ONLY care what the humans think, and not at all what their own community thinks of them. The opinions of humans are the only opinions that mattered and will ever matter. Winged people won't have trouble sleeping on their back, sitting in normal chairs, wearing normal human shirts, etc.

... And since humans are such bastards, they will capture and enslave these angel-folk. It's not like these winged people will fly away to escape or use any special powers they may have, no, it's actually INCREDIBLY easy for humans to enslave a being much more powerful than they are.

[lemon ll drops]

A female character must never, ever, EVER date or marry a male character that is younger than her, because then she'd have to wear the pants in the relationship -the older person ALWAYS wears the pants, duh- and that completely takes away her femininity.

Women never date younger men, silly writers. rolleyes

[Lady_Soul_Eater]

switch between past present and future tenses

[avearia]

marshmallowcreampie

avearia

(( Werewolves-dragons: folklore and incomplete knowledge of science
Sky Bison: Avatar: the last airbender
Banshee: ... uh, avatar the movie? i think?
fox squirrels: North American red fox squirrels
Picachus: Pokemon
Hobbits: J.R.R. Tolkein's universe LOTR
Cats & Turtles: Awesome real-life, wide spread animals. ))

--

Fantasy worlds always have monarchies, and a royal lineage.

((Ah, nobody got the Fox Squirrels right. They're from the movie Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, though they have made some unnamed appearances in other Miyazaki movies.))

((Fox squirrels are real life creatures. They're rediculously common where I live. Check it out: (it's a bit far down the page, but it's there.) http://wdfw.wa.gov/conservation/gray_squirrel/ ))

[Lulamoon Sage]

marshmallowcreampie

Cerulean Beyonder

Quote:

And if you find that your story has been a bit short on angst lately (because there must always be angst), just have the villain come along out of the blue and kill all of the members of that species, save for that one character. Then that character can cry and write horrific amazing emo poetry about being the only one left. And, presto! You now have angst.

((Hey! What about the Avatar: The Last Airbender series? They pulled that one off quite nicely, minus the horrific extremely well written emo poetry.))

((Aang doesn't constantly angst (would it be called... Aangst? I couldn't resist rofl ) like a whiny like b***h all the time. It would be fairly understandable if he was a little angsty from time to time, and he does express regret at running away. It's really just the whole "last of their kind" storylines are very often poorly written. Ah, Avatar, just about the only children's show with genocide.))

Of course winged people will be beautiful, duh! Every member of every humanoid species (save for humans, orcs, dwarves, and trolls) will be beautiful. EVERY member. And it's not like beauty is subjective or anything, or that the winged folk will not follow the traditional western/Eurocentric beauty standard you and your readers follow.

((True. There was only the moment when he found Gyatso's skeleton that he truly got all "Aangsty" (Heh, I think you hit that nail square on the head! mrgreen ) and went into the Avatar State. Other than that, I don't remember the fact that he was the last Airbender being brought up anymore in the series. Oh, and speaking of genocide...))

It's perfectly reasonable for some other race to suddenly decide that they want to flat out erase your winged character's entire race from existence without any explanation, with bonus points added in if that hostile race was humanity. That only makes your character all the more "speshul and unique"

Motifs? Reasoning? Who needs em'?

Just the fact that your winged character's race ever existed is reason enough for a hostile race to want to see them eradicated.

[Serverus Snope]

lemon ll drops

A female character must never, ever, EVER date or marry a male character that is younger than her, because then she'd have to wear the pants in the relationship -the older person ALWAYS wears the pants, duh- and that completely takes away her femininity.

Women never date younger men, silly writers. rolleyes

Nor can a female character ever date/marry a guy that is not at least one head taller than her, because height always equals dominance, and women are always submissive.

The same rules apply for homosexual couples. Just replace the woman with an Uke. This one is especially important, though; Ukes are ten times more hopelessly submissive than any girl could ever be.

[Clare_N]

Sadira Commands you

Of course. How dare they offer help after correcting you! It's not polite to help or show people how to make things better! Horrible people who eat puppies for breakfast made you call them names.

However, while no-one has the right to tell YOU what to write and what not to write (which is all constructive criticism is at the end of the day) you have a God-given right to force people to adjust their work to suit your tastes. For example, have you read a fanfic which features a pairing you dislike? If so, don't just go away and never read it again. Flame the author and threaten to report them unless they break up the offending pairing. And, while you're at it, order them to pair up the characters the way YOU would.

[marshmallowcreampie]

lemon ll drops

A female character must never, ever, EVER date or marry a male character that is younger than her, because then she'd have to wear the pants in the relationship -the older person ALWAYS wears the pants, duh- and that completely takes away her femininity.

Women never date younger men, silly writers. rolleyes

If a woman dates a younger man, she is a cougar regardless of how small the age difference is. This fact should be brought up constantly while the relationship is going on.

To Cerulean Beyonder: Well, of course! Bad guys don't need a motive to do ANYTHING, whether it's stealing, war, murder, genocide, etc. They just do it for the sake of being a douche.