The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Rose Patterned Twil]

Jewel encrusted? Pshaw on you madam. Everyone knows that your humble, perfect MC wouldn't do anything as vain as decoration. All weapons shall be described as 'high quality, but plain', 'understated', or 'adorned with a single gem'. Everyone else of course will have flashy weapons to emphasize your characters humbleness.

[Rose Patterned Twil]

IB a Survivor

All fathers in a story (at least to the main characters) are either absent or abusive. No exceptions.

Remember, if a child is living alone with his or her's father, it's because either his or her mother is dead or emotional distance and abandoned the child. There's not such thing as a father with primary custody.

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

Worst flames in history:

'Please write properly'
'Please explain/clarify'
'Actually, THIS is correct and here are facts lies perpetuated by books and sites.'

[chibisyko]

Mistress Moss

marshmallowcreampie

Oh, Anti-Guide, we discussed pirates, but what should I do if I want to write a story about ninjas?

*.:｡✿*ﾟⓜⓘⓢⓣⓡⓔⓢⓢ

Katanas, katanas, and more katanas. That's all a ninja can use.

And there must be lots of random Naruto crossovers at any point in the story. In fact, it must take place in that world. Because there are no other worlds with ninjas, right?

(Its quite sad how many people think 'Naruto' when they hear the word 'ninja'. I met some crazy Naruto fan that thought ninjas never actually exsited before... It was quite sad...

I'm not meaning to trash-talk Naruto, its still a decent manga. Just some of the fans are scary. xD Not meaning to trash-talk all the fans either... Just some of them.)

ⓜⓞⓢⓢ･✿.｡.:

Just a random tidbit here, but Naruto was not originally a ninja story. The Naruto world was actually filled with magic and sorcery rather than ninjas, but Kishimoto hated drawing Naruto's goggles and came up with the headband idea and that's what inspired him to make Naruto all about ninjas. 3nodding

[Firlodge_the_second]

twilightrosegarden

IB a Survivor

All fathers in a story (at least to the main characters) are either absent or abusive. No exceptions.

Remember, if a child is living alone with his or her's father, it's because either his or her mother is dead or emotional distance and abandoned the child. There's not such thing as a father with primary custody.

What are the rules on vistation rights then?

[Serverus Snope]

twilightrosegarden

Description is much more important than plot. Teachers are always going on about descriptive language right? So go ahead and right a page or two devoted to your MC's outfit, no need to explain where he is or why, that crap is trivial.

Remember, for descriptions, refer to one of the two following paragraphs.

Option A. Descriptions are badass. Your audience will just love how well-written your multi-paragraph filibuster of description will be. How else can your readers cosplay as your character?

Option B. Nothing good can come out of descriptions. Descriptions are just walls of text that talk about clothing that reveals nothing about the person. Motifs? Symbolism? What are those?

[Half Baked SF]

Firlodge_the_second

twilightrosegarden

IB a Survivor

All fathers in a story (at least to the main characters) are either absent or abusive. No exceptions.

Remember, if a child is living alone with his or her's father, it's because either his or her mother is dead or emotional distance and abandoned the child. There's not such thing as a father with primary custody.

What are the rules on vistation rights then?

Visitation rights only come up when concerning a side character. And then, he's angsting about how he can't see his kids as often as be wants because of his evil ex-wife and the social worker who keep him away.

[kjghnfdgu5275245fd4]

Well what makes me write is my mistakes and my troub;es and what i go through bad or good
i love writting
i write anything that automatically hits me
if its family problems or an awesome day
or a crush you kno
easy stuff like that
blaugh
Writting is a passion and a gift not everyone can do it
unless they try their hardest biggrin like me heart

[Rose Patterned Twil]

NekoXLola

Well what makes me write is my mistakes and my troub;es and what i go through bad or good
i love writting
i write anything that automatically hits me
if its family problems or an awesome day
or a crush you kno
easy stuff like that
blaugh
Writting is a passion and a gift not everyone can do it
unless they try their hardest biggrin like me heart

Good Writing: She's Doing it Right

[avearia]

If someone has a certain personality, they should stick to it every minute of every day. This means that Perky people aren't allowed to get depressed or even momentarily sad. Kind people can't ever be grumpy or snappish. Jerks can't be understanding at all ever.

Everyone has to strictly conform to their personalities. If they change moods, it gets too confusing for the reader!

[Clare_N]

Another "top tip" from the "My Immortal" School of Creative Writing:

Shove in some random stuff about "cutting", drugs, confusion about sexuality, child abuse . . . and so on. Make sure it does not contribute anything to the plot (if there is a plot) and is handled as immaturely as possible. Then, when people pull you up on it, respond by saying that your story is "not stupid" because it "deals with serious issues" - with a ton of spelling mistakes. Like so:

Quote:

stop flammin u prepz!!!!!!!!! dis storry dells wit sris ishus!!!!!!!! so ther!!!!!!!!!

[Firlodge_the_second]

((My Immortal is wonderful. It begets wonder. My Immortal is awesome. It begets awe. My Immortal is terrific. It begets terror.))

[Serverus Snope]

((My Immortal is so bad it's entertaining. Just like Sonichu!

...Okay, maybe Sonichu isn't as entertaining, but still.))

Remember: if you're an emo/goff, you say say things "suicidally".

[Firlodge_the_second]

And goffically!

And you have it, not sex.

If you're a boy, you possess a 'thingy'
Girls have a 'you-know-what'

[Leancere]

Jiraku

Remember: if you're an emo/goff, you say say things "suicidally".

And if you're a Catholic priest, astound the people with the words thats worthy of a forgiving God and be saintly. No Catholic priests are ebil.