If at any point you have trouble writing how cool your action is, watch Kill Bill a few thousand times and remember how all those ninjas died just so you can imitate their deaths. Describe every slice of the sword, every time it cuts into an enemy, only, use the same words every time you do it so you end up repeating yourself about thirty times. Spell sword as soward, and when you are called out on it, insist that's how you like it spelled no matter how many times you get a concussion from someone hitting you over the head with a dictionary. Create an entire alien race of enemies, bent on the destruction of your hero, and destroy all of them in a single slice of your soward on the next page. Maybe the hero doesn't even touch them, but just looks at them funny and then they explode, that's hardcore, right? Right...
Now we give your hero an ultimate weapon (because how he defeated that alien race just wasn't cool enough) that can destroy everything by using all of his power, but he doesn't really use all of his power, because if he did, your face would explode when you read it. Let's not stop there. Let's show everyone how you can use big words, and ask your friend for a big word that sounds cool for your hero's ultimate weapon. Then be a sucker when your friend tells you to use "Deus ex Machina" and use that seriously without researching it, because you're way too cool to bring yourself down to that level. I mean, if you ever had to research, you'd just overdose on grape Children's Chewable Cold and Flu Tablets because life just wouldn't be worth living anymore and that's all you have in your medicine cabinet.
Your villains should constantly talk about how evil they are. They never try to hide their evil. I mean, someone's just going to find out anyway what with all that cackling laughter they do. Have them kill one of these types of people within five seconds of them being introduced, or nothing will feel right about the villain: One of their own henchmen (classic), a woman, a baby, or a guy with a special message to the Hero that could change the course of history.
If you can't come up with a good reason to get your hero mad so he can use his ultimate weapon, make one. Create a childhood friend, introduce them, and have them killed by the villain on the same page. That'll pull those heartstrings. In fact, your tears are already welling up because you remember how your friend overdosed on Children's Chewable Cold and Flu Tablets. Not even your idea to kill yourself is original. Aren't you proud?
Create holidays for your fictional world, but just make them the holidays of this world with one word changed. Good exampels are: Cristmas, Haloween, Thanksgiven, Cwanzaa, Hanookah, Kasual Friday, etc. There's no need to stretch your brain past the two brain cells god graced you with. Aren't you lucky? You don't have to work hard like those idiots with their plot progression, character development, and other things with big words that you had to look up and then get wrong after reading them. Oh no! You just realized that was research! Better head to that medicine cabinet as soon as possible. Make sure to scrawl your last words out in blood, (because it makes your death seem cooler) but you're too squeamish to cut yourself so just use the pink liquid from the ground beef in your fridge. But even then you're too squeamish for that, because you're Vegan, and you're probably going to die in the next few seconds from a lack of iron and protein but being Vegan is cool and all your friends are Vegan, at least they used to be before they died, so just get a red ink pen instead. Your note should read as follows.
Too My DEREST MOTHR,
i r ded, be sad, morn me. i hant you now, i a gost, blarg, i r ded, we r owt off peenot booter git som, ande i hate grape chewobls, git ornge bit KNOT AMINAL ORNGE, im VEEGAN!!!
When you get to hell, burn...
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