The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Triste-chan]

Muscles have absolutely nothing to do with physical strength. A tiny, waifish girl will be able to pwn the s**t out of The Rock with one hand tied behind he back.

[Axioma]

Triste-chan

Muscles have absolutely nothing to do with physical strength. A tiny, waifish girl will be able to pwn the s**t out of The Rock with one hand tied behind he back.

Provided her village got burned down at some point, sure.

Unless he grabs her in the Standard Female Immobilization Area (the upper arm). Then she's toast and can't do a single thing.

[Dybael]

Triste-chan

Muscles have absolutely nothing to do with physical strength. A tiny, waifish girl will be able to pwn the s**t out of The Rock with one hand tied behind he back.

Similarly, injuries mean you're incredibly awesome and powerful, not that someone beat the s**t out of you. If you have scars, you're automatically badass.

[Axioma]

Dybael

Triste-chan

Muscles have absolutely nothing to do with physical strength. A tiny, waifish girl will be able to pwn the s**t out of The Rock with one hand tied behind he back.

Similarly, injuries mean you're incredibly awesome and powerful, not that someone beat the s**t out of you. If you have scars, you're automatically badass.

Although there really is only one sort of scar possible. A long one across the face, passing over one eye.
If you're on the good side, that is.

((incidentially, Sandor Clegane = love))

[Triste-chan]

Axioma

Triste-chan

Muscles have absolutely nothing to do with physical strength. A tiny, waifish girl will be able to pwn the s**t out of The Rock with one hand tied behind he back.

Provided her village got burned down at some point, sure.

Unless he grabs her in the Standard Female Immobilization Area (the upper arm). Then she's toast and can't do a single thing.

Mm. To clarify, the upper-arm thing only works if he has a pretty face and deep, mesmerizing eyes. If he's ugly, then he's obviously powerless. Unless your character has Some Traumatizing Event In The Past That Makes Her Freeze At Key Moments, But Somehow Doesn't Hurt Her In Any Way, It Only Makes It So That She Is Captured Which Will Eventually Lead To Her Escaping From Jail Using Her Stunning Good Looks And Defeating The Bad Guy. Like if the ugly man killed her mommy or ripped apart her teddy bear or some s**t.

[Axioma]

Putting rats in your jails makes you original.

Does it really work with eyes, Triste? I'd thought it only worked with orbs.

[Triste-chan]

Axioma

Putting rats in your jails makes you original.

Does it really work with eyes, Triste? I'd thought it only worked with orbs.

Oh, of course. Forgive me, I misspoke. They must be hypnotizing orbs of sapphire/emerald/amethyst/fire/what the ********.

[Axioma]

Moving on to SciFi...

Nothing amazes your readers more than having the story be about a bunch of ancient artifacts that were left behind by The AncientsTM. It's originality at it's best!

[Hawthorne]

Axioma

Moving on to SciFi...

Nothing amazes your readers more than having the story be about a bunch of ancient artifacts that were left behind by The AncientsTM. It's originality at it's best!

And remember to name them something worthwhile:

The Ancients
The Precursors
The First Ones
Those Big Doods That Came Before Us Wot

No scientist would name them after what system their artifacts were first found in; they wouldn't try to give them a name in another language; they wouldn't want to give them the name based on what their language system looked like--no, it has to be a hard descriptor for an alien race so vast and gone that they're stuff is found everywhere. And to name them, you cannot go further than the Standard English Dictionary.

[Axioma]

Hawthorne

Axioma

Moving on to SciFi...

Nothing amazes your readers more than having the story be about a bunch of ancient artifacts that were left behind by The AncientsTM. It's originality at it's best!

And remember to name them something worthwhile:

The Ancients
The Precursors
The First Ones
Those Big Doods That Came Before Us Wot

No scientist would name them after what system their artifacts were first found in; they wouldn't try to give them a name in another language; they wouldn't want to give them the name based on what their language system looked like--no, it has to be a hard descriptor for an alien race so vast and gone that they're stuff is found everywhere. And to name them, you cannot go further than the Standard English Dictionary.

Indeed. After all, even on our modern Earth, scientists constantly dig up artifacts made by the Medievals.

Also, keep in mind that the one thing that determines how advanced a civilisation is is the number of crystals imbedded in their buildings.

[Jasper Riddle]

Axioma

Hawthorne

Axioma

Moving on to SciFi...

Nothing amazes your readers more than having the story be about a bunch of ancient artifacts that were left behind by The AncientsTM. It's originality at it's best!

And remember to name them something worthwhile:

The Ancients
The Precursors
The First Ones
Those Big Doods That Came Before Us Wot

No scientist would name them after what system their artifacts were first found in; they wouldn't try to give them a name in another language; they wouldn't want to give them the name based on what their language system looked like--no, it has to be a hard descriptor for an alien race so vast and gone that they're stuff is found everywhere. And to name them, you cannot go further than the Standard English Dictionary.

Indeed. After all, even on our modern Earth, scientists constantly dig up artifacts made by the Medievals.

Also, keep in mind that the one thing that determines how advanced a civilisation is is the number of crystals imbedded in their buildings.

Which brings us to power sources.

All ancient civilizations are (were) extremely advanced. They had cars powered by these OMGKEWL crystals that they wore on necklaces. And they always have this UBERweapon that can destroy the world.
And the villain of the book MUST be out to get this UBERweapon so that they can rule the world.

[Indigo Dagger]

Also, there must be no technological advancement in your world.

Period.

[Bittersweet_3]

In all stories, it's a must to change fonts and colours every few sentences.

Also, it's sooper awesome to change your character's names randomly and switch them back with no explanation. It is also good to have random msn 'convo's' in your stories. Oh, and misspelling all your character's names at random times is also good. And in tragic romances, you must have the 'evil guy's' thoughts saying things like, "now lets see how far i can tak her up then crash her down cuz now her hart is mine and the higher i tak her the more she shatters"

And yes, putting the thoughts in pink is great as well.

((I was reading a story that did ALL those things. gonk ))

[Ryu_chan]

Bittersweet_3

In all stories, it's a must to change fonts and colours every few sentences.

Also, it's sooper awesome to change your character's names randomly and switch them back with no explanation. It is also good to have random msn 'convo's' in your stories. Oh, and misspelling all your character's names at random times is also good. And in tragic romances, you must have the 'evil guy's' thoughts saying things like, "now lets see how far i can tak her up then crash her down cuz now her hart is mine and the higher i tak her the more she shatters"

And yes, putting the thoughts in pink is great as well.

((I was reading a story that did ALL those things. gonk ))

((Please tell me it wasn't a published work!!!!! gonk ))

[izabethelay]

Make sure everything is predictable. Your readers will hate suprises.