The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Axioma]

KiwiOfDestruction

Indigo Dagger

Take this test.

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/otto/grayswandir/mary-sue-test.html

The more you score, the better. Try to have a nice 85 or over.

((Dude, I was so worried about Taiasi and Skylar being sues. Skylar got, I believe, a score of three. Taiasi gor a 10, Jyotika got a 10, Xia got an cool )

If anyone calls your character a Mary Sue, remind them of their personality flaw. They're too loving! They can't play the banjo! Her lips are a little bit too thin. ZOMG she's DEVELOPED.

My character is weak against lava.

[Slicey]

xd

[Xiraes]

Axioma

KiwiOfDestruction

Indigo Dagger

Take this test.

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/otto/grayswandir/mary-sue-test.html

The more you score, the better. Try to have a nice 85 or over.

((Dude, I was so worried about Taiasi and Skylar being sues. Skylar got, I believe, a score of three. Taiasi gor a 10, Jyotika got a 10, Xia got an cool )

If anyone calls your character a Mary Sue, remind them of their personality flaw. They're too loving! They can't play the banjo! Her lips are a little bit too thin. ZOMG she's DEVELOPED.

My character is weak against lava.

Yeah, and my character's Barbie-doll like beauty is, alas, a curse!

[Clavissima]

Indigo Dagger

Take this test.

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/otto/grayswandir/mary-sue-test.html

The more you score, the better. Try to have a nice 85 or over.

(One of my real characters got a negative three on that test. xd )



It's perfectly fine to use emoticons while writing, especially in dialogue. For example:
"I guess my flaw would be that I care too much about people ^_^" she said in a cheerful tone.

[[Flore]]

Remember, everyone loves chocolate, so put it in your early medieval stories-- paying no mind to the fact that it's American. Who cares about those Spanish explorer dudes?

[Axioma]

[Flore]

Remember, everyone loves chocolate, so put it in your early medieval stories-- paying no mind to the fact that it's American. Who cares about those Spanish explorer dudes?

Chocolate is American? WTF.

[Donovan Riddle]

Axioma

[Flore]

Remember, everyone loves chocolate, so put it in your early medieval stories-- paying no mind to the fact that it's American. Who cares about those Spanish explorer dudes?

Chocolate is American? WTF.

Another thing:
Never do research. That's for pussies who want everything just right. Hell, it's your story, and if you're always doing research then you'll never do any writing! Who cares if it's an ancient civilization in the Amazon. They can have chocolate. Hell, they can have TV, because it's YOUR story and you can do whatever you want. 3nodding

[Axioma]

Sallen Riddle

Axioma

[Flore]

Remember, everyone loves chocolate, so put it in your early medieval stories-- paying no mind to the fact that it's American. Who cares about those Spanish explorer dudes?

Chocolate is American? WTF.

Another thing:
Never do research. That's for pussies who want everything just right. Hell, it's your story, and if you're always doing research then you'll never do any writing! Who cares if it's an ancient civilization in the Amazon. They can have chocolate. Hell, they can have TV, because it's YOUR story and you can do whatever you want. 3nodding

Good point. After all, this is your art, you're writing this for yourself, which is why you're going to post it on every page and forum you've ever frequented as soon as you've written half the prologue.

[KiwiOfDestruction]

[Flore]

Remember, everyone loves chocolate, so put it in your early medieval stories-- paying no mind to the fact that it's American. Who cares about those Spanish explorer dudes?

((I thought the Mayans came up with it first.))



Curly hair always falls down perfectly into shiny curls, the kind you can only get if you're a straight-haired person that never has frizzy hair and you get a perm. I mean, no one wants to read anything about frizzy, frazzled, or dry hair.

That's another thing. No matter how frequently a character dies (spelling it dyes is for losers. All the "Y"s should be saved for your character's name and langage) his or her hair, it will always be in perfect condition.

And no dreadlocks are allowed. Cornrows are acceptable (but only if the person wearing them is the Token Black Person and also happens to be a pre-teen). Buzz cuts are forbidden.

[[Flore]]

I meant American as in part of the Americas.


... obviously that part was lost on you people?

And the Spanish explorer dudes were the first Europeans to find it.

[Ryu_chan]

Xiraes

Axioma

KiwiOfDestruction

Indigo Dagger

Take this test.

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/otto/grayswandir/mary-sue-test.html

The more you score, the better. Try to have a nice 85 or over.

((Dude, I was so worried about Taiasi and Skylar being sues. Skylar got, I believe, a score of three. Taiasi gor a 10, Jyotika got a 10, Xia got an cool )

If anyone calls your character a Mary Sue, remind them of their personality flaw. They're too loving! They can't play the banjo! Her lips are a little bit too thin. ZOMG she's DEVELOPED.

My character is weak against lava.

Yeah, and my character's Barbie-doll like beauty is, alas, a curse!

Mine's flaw is her tragic past!! OMG!! She didn't have a perfect childhood!!!

[Werewolf Tyr]

Ryu_chan

Xiraes

Axioma

KiwiOfDestruction

Indigo Dagger

Take this test.

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/otto/grayswandir/mary-sue-test.html

The more you score, the better. Try to have a nice 85 or over.

((Dude, I was so worried about Taiasi and Skylar being sues. Skylar got, I believe, a score of three. Taiasi gor a 10, Jyotika got a 10, Xia got an cool )

If anyone calls your character a Mary Sue, remind them of their personality flaw. They're too loving! They can't play the banjo! Her lips are a little bit too thin. ZOMG she's DEVELOPED.

My character is weak against lava.

Yeah, and my character's Barbie-doll like beauty is, alas, a curse!

Mine's flaw is her tragic past!! OMG!! She didn't have a perfect childhood!!!

And her eyes show when she's upset - so, you see, she can't lie to anybody about what she feels! It's such a problem! *Runs round in circles flapping arms like a f***

[wingnut the improbable]

KiwiOfDestruction

wingnut the improbable

Your story should be written like a ten-year-old's instant messenger conversation. Like this: "i walkd in2 mih room n thr wuz dis VAMPYR!!!fortytwo!!!!11!! he sad arrrrrgh i wil keel u and i was liek omg i thnk im gunna di lol so i scremd n ran owt!!!!1!!!11! he folod me n den i explodded the end lol"* only far less coherent. People will applaud you for your creative writing style.

Your other alternative is this:"I paced quietly on delicate tiptoes towards my bedroom. My slender, pale hand gently touched the cold, golden metal of the doorknob and gave it a hesitant turn. My amethyst eyes peeked cautiously into the room. It was painted raven-black, to reflect my inner turmoil and pain. Inside this room was a tall, pale, malicious-looking vampire. He whispered softly in a cold and evil voice, "arrrrgh i wil keel u". I took in a sharp intake of cold air and began panicking. I knew I was going to die a slow, gruesome, painful, unpleasant, and excruciatingly uncomfortable death so I shrieked in my melodious but terrified voice and sprinted out, my raven-black locks trailing behind me as my amethyst eyes teared up. The vampire followed me with a slow but confident stride and then suddenly, I exploded in a large fireball of many colours, burning down the house and leaving the vampire as a corpse among the ruins. The end."** only with more adjectives and less grammar. Either one will do nicely.

{(I like imitating bad writing styles. Can you tell?)}

*wingnut the improbable is not responsible for any excruciating pain reading this may have caused. It's your fault for reading it.
**Ditto.

The second one should only be used in third person, if used in first person they will sound conceited.

Nononononono. Your characters aren't conceited, they're just misunderstood. Make them angst about this constantly. Your readers will emphasize with them and will not hate them at all!

[Xiraes]

One word: death. There must be death, tons of death, everyone no matter how major or minor a character must die.

It starts with the main character's tragic past in which all of her loved ones died, and maybe a few others, and because of that she can never love again, but then meets someone else with a strikingly similair past and they fall in love, kill the villain, then the love interest dies and then hte main characters commits suicide. (All other supporting characters die trying to kill the villian, so they as well as the main character's family is avenged).

Oh, and on that note, the "good guy's" death will be an elaborate and heartfelt scene, while when the villian dies no one even feels the slights apprehension or are at least somber. In fact, they throw a party to celebrate killing him.

[Indigo Dagger]

And remember, even the most dumbass whore innocent maiden must dress like a skank sensually and fashionably.

[Though, I'm actually a fan of provocative avvie themes on Gaia.]