The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[hecate-athena]

Oops, I guess I forgot to add "army" in there.

As I think I have said earlier, there is no such thing as overconfidence.

[wingnut the improbable]

Your character's SuperAngsty (tm) past must take up at least forty-two percent of the story. Everyone wants to know. Everyone.

[Hectasy]

wingnut the improbable

Your character's SuperAngsty (tm) past must take up at least forty-two percent of the story. Everyone wants to know. Everyone.

If not more. As every good author knows, angst is 85% of the magic.

[Minion Ripley]

The Holy Hand Grenade

wingnut the improbable

Your character's SuperAngsty (tm) past must take up at least forty-two percent of the story. Everyone wants to know. Everyone.

If not more. As every good author knows, angst is 85% of the magic.

And the other 15% is mindless smut, of course.

[AmberSagrath]

Force your characters to do whatever you want them to do, with no concern for what your character actually is or what they want to do.

[wingnut the improbable]

Of course. Because it's not like your character has personality or anything. They are just a collection of your whims. Personality is for t3h st00pid p3plez!

[KiwiOfDestruction]

Remember: If you have a Mary-Sue, you can always change it by giving her a tragic past. Because tragic pasts are character flaws. Really.

[KiwiOfDestruction]

OKAY IF THIS HASNT BEN IMPLEID ENOUGH SCREW GRMMAR!!!!! WTF THIS IS SO 2TALY TEH WAY 2 TOK YAL!!!1!1! OMG LOL


(I'd like to thank the English to 12-year-old AOLer translator I found on pointlesssites.com, which I should find offensive but don't.)

[hecate-athena]

*is thirteen and therefore past the age of annoying chatspeak*

[thisshitisoldandgottago]

Make your character beat someone who has never been defeated before. Oh, your character being thirteen years old and an uberly powerful mage protege (sp?) helps, of course.

God forbid if the fantasy story has anything other than a journey plot. Because journey plots are the pwnz0rz, LOLOLOL!1!!!!!1shiftone!

[Jasper Riddle]

Wendy_Chan

Make your character beat someone who has never been defeated before. Oh, your character being thirteen years old and an uberly powerful mage protege (sp?) helps, of course.

God forbid if the fantasy story has anything other than a journey plot. Because journey plots are the pwnz0rz, LOLOLOL!1!!!!!1shiftone!

exactly! you must have your band of young adventurers (they must be either teens, prepubesent, or young adults. no old people allowed!) wander about, preferably through harsh terrain of some kind. And they don't have to train with weapons, because they already know it all!

[thisshitisoldandgottago]

Jasper Riddle

Wendy_Chan

Make your character beat someone who has never been defeated before. Oh, your character being thirteen years old and an uberly powerful mage protege (sp?) helps, of course.

God forbid if the fantasy story has anything other than a journey plot. Because journey plots are the pwnz0rz, LOLOLOL!1!!!!!1shiftone!

exactly! you must have your band of young adventurers (they must be either teens, prepubesent, or young adults. no old people allowed!) wander about, preferably through harsh terrain of some kind. And they don't have to train with weapons, because they already know it all!

Ew! Old people know nothing compared to the young, brave, and strong!

Especially if the girls are anorexically skinny, gigantic broadsword wielding warrior maidens, whose motive of the journey is revenge... even though they barely remember who killed their mother and father.

[Witch of Rokkenjima]

...I love you people. crying

"All Your Base" jokes are the highest form of humor EVAR.
Especially when your story is set in an era or universe in which video games don't exist.

[hecate-athena]

Please, sticking to the timeline is for losers. Feel free to haves females wearing pants in the medieval era, people drinking coffee before it existed, and taking baths more then once a year, and anything else you can think of. No one will notice ninja .

[thisshitisoldandgottago]

By all means, people, do not, do NOT think about the cause and effect that certain historical events will have on the people of a country. If you do, always make it especially significant for the main character.