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Zombie Count!

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The Uncanny Pantry!


As you open your eyes for the first time, you see the strangest woman that could ever be... at least, you think she's a woman. She reaches her arm out in friendship and says, "Greetings, young one, I am Impere; welcome to the Divine Pantry."

What are they? The cans are medium-sized pixel pets; call it a synthesis of the background-item-based mini-pixel pets and the larger, customized pixel pets. The cans are item based, but these items are equipped, and there will eventually be many of them.

Table of Contents:
Post 1..............Canny Welcome + TOC + Updates
Post 2..............Rules + FAQ
Post 3..............Story
Post 4..............Important People & Cans
Post 5..............Marketing (FS, Auctions, customs, all that junk)
Post 6..............The Cans! (Growth Stages)
Post 7..............The Items! (Mostly Everything Order-able)
Post 8..............Soldering Glue & Universal Solvent (Breeding and Poses)
Post 9..............Reserved for Nefarious Deeds
Post 10............Roleplaying (Trade/skills, organizations, and Gods)
Post 11............Pickups + Ownerlist
Post 12............Further Nefarious Deeds
Post 13............Links & Affiliate!
Post 14............Heretics
Post 15............Rants and Astronomical Observances

(This shop will be CTRL+F friendly! Search keys will eventually be placed around key points, and they'll be stuck by their related post in the ToC)

Impere's Calendar of Greatness

3/21/07: I was suprised by the lack of interest in these I was seeing; but, silly me, that was because there's very little substance here as of yet (my thinking was that these were too weird for B/Cers, don't know what made me do that). Thanks to all of you who have posted so far, I'm reworking a lot more, which'll make myself need to do quite a bit less work... and a lot more at the same time, but not the same time. xD
2/12/07: Doing edits to the posts, trying to reorder them in a way that makes more sense based on the changes I want to make. Put up some sample-can-sprite-art for your viewing. biggrin
2/2/07: Shop opens Setup begins at almost-exactly-7PM. Woo! biggrin

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Rules of Engagement


1. Be patient; don't explode. (Follow the Daisy Code when roleplaying, and otherwise.)

2. Write as well as you can; this means no chatspeak, NOT no spelling mistakes. I've had enough good friends with terrible spelling ability to know that a photographic memory does not a good person make (not necessarily, anyway). That doesn't mean you shouldn't try, but I don't mind, as long as it's still readable.

3. DO NOT STEAL THE ART, OR THE IDEA. THIS SHOULD BE OBVIOUS, BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS THOSE WHO ARE WILLING TO TRY.

4. Don't try to haggle the price. In the beginning I may need some help figuring out the best price for these, but after that, don't try and get it cheaper.

5. For the most part, keep this stuff PG-13. No sex, no soft/hardcore, and tone down the swearing as much as you can. If you have a bad day, I don't mind if you need to voice your angst in as many four-letter-words as you can find, but for the most part it's just not necessary.

6. I have the right to refuse a custom or a bribe, and the right to remove your can if I think it's necessary. Chances are I'll never need to take away a can, but be aware of the possibility.

7. Essentially, if it would get you temp banned, banned, or given an angry word from a mod, don't do it here; the policy doesn't change once you enter the post. These rules are probably an incomplete list, but I expect that you lot are mature enough to know what would piss off an admin and what wouldn't.

Quaffle, Backwards (FAQ)


I don't have any /actual/ questions yet, but I can make a few up and predict what you lot might ask! biggrin

Q: ...cans?
A: Yes, cans. I've seen enough furry things, and... well, why not?

Q: How can I get one?
A: Check the marketing post.

Q: What the hell is Umami?
A: Generally you only hear of the first four flavors; salt, sweet, bitter, and sour. But they recently found the fifth, which is called Umami, which means "savory." It's basically the flavor in oriental foods that makes you like it so much.

Q: Why did you write the story in a Biblical style?
A: When I went to make the post, I wanted to make it your-average-prose, but it hit me that since Impere is supposed to be some sort of creator, it would work better if it were set up as a religious text.

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The Tale Begins...


From Origin, 5:2:3;

3 And lo, the Gods spake that They may have food, and there was food. And thusly They spake a second time, and again there was food. And thusly They spake a third time, yet there was none. The choir of divine will called upon the universe, who gaveth Them what might soothe Their wont;

4 With great calamity did a single being fall down upon the ☼▫►◘, and when It did stand, It appeared greatly human, and yet not so;

5 For It did have all properties of humankind, indeed a face, with wide, crested features, a star-body, and all the trappings of human consciousness. Yet any human who e'er saw It should saith that there shalt be more of Time and less of Sanity in Its garments than ever should a human weareth. Thusly It stood, and the Gods spake unto It;

6 "What wouldst thou, Being?" And upon Their words, It laughed raucously, awakening Those who slept. It said;

7 "I can be no Being as You would, for the power should sunder my frame; nay, I am to speak what has occured and, the task finished, Serve;

8 "The Universe hath given all that would befit Gods like Yourselves - all that would befit only lasted for the First and Second Refections of Prelude, which the Universe hath shown to me and I shall soon carry out the Third. Thou must needs a supply that seems in its nature more continuous, and thereby the message finishes, and hereby I Serve;"

9 Out of the bones of Its forefinger dripped an odd jelly, which pooled on the floor; and when the Gods did wonder what It chanced to perform, It spake that it searched for the perfect solution, and the Gods proclaimed that this jelly would be not it. And thus It began again, this time a different Food erupting from Its forefinger; again did the Gods proclaim it unfit. So did this continue, until It nearly wasted Itself in Its attempts;

10 On the last attempt, It created an odd shape; a single, gray cylinder, shaped in the fashion of one of It's forearms, with markings down the middle that resembled It's ribs; its odd composition lay flat on the ☼▫►◘, reflecting the divine light of the Choir with nearly as much Beauty. And the Gods, in what awe can bespake of Them, approved wholeheartedly; for it did reflect both Them and It. They spake;

11 "What art thou, human?" And upon Them, It replied;

12 "I am female, so says the Universe, and my name shall hereafter be Impere; I am to be Your pantrymage until the Third Refection ends, which has now begun." And upon them did the Object quake some, and on it some change occurred;

13 For it did open eyes, now having them on its body - they were blacker than night, yet still showed direction. And upon seizing a glance at the Choir, it burst into flame and upon it did the Universe converge, reshaping it, and thus It Bellowed;

14 "This new being shall be My Voice in your proceedings; wear it by your mind, and changes shall always be known to you. Do not let any more creations look upon Their glory, nor hear Their Music." And the light grew softer again, as the Universe departed;

15 And Impere did place the being upon her head, and it molded around her, with arms outstretched to the Kindness of the Universe; ears like the fox, to hear what It might say; eyes of fire to protect its Keeper; and Impere did find that it could not speak, for its mouth molded a Hood around her face;

16 The Gods willed her to create another thing as she had before, without eyes; so she did, and it sat the same as before. When it grew eyes, she turned it round; unstable, it split into Five separate beings, all the same as the first; And the Gods spake;

17 "Canst it feed Us?" And Impere replied;

18 "Yes, it can."

19 "Can," They repeated. And so it is.

---

And, so says the tale, the Five found a way to grow food of their bodies, and they were named Salt, Sugar, Bitter, Sour, and Umami; and they aided Impere as she created more Cans which would serve to provide further variety for the Gods' meals, and in this way the Third Refection has continued for years.

The Voice of the Universe named itself Mumu, and it prophsied that there would be more like it made that could not hear the Universe as It Spoke, yet were still key to the Third Refection. And so it has been.

---

Footnotes: Parts of the Godstongue has been related to Middle Speech, which is not High Speech (for High Speech, when spoken, smites the speaker and the listener quite like the very first Can). Middle Speech still has power, yet is not dangerous to the reader.

1; ☼▫►◘ roughly translates to 'Holy Ground.'

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Important Faces, Entities & Cans


In reverse order of power:

Salt is the most grounded of the Five. It wears simple things, and has a fair sense of humor. It is the Leader.

Sugar is the kindest of the Five. It wears bright colors, and lives to serve. It is the Healer.

Bitter is the most witty of the Five. It wears greys and blacks, and is critical of all. It is the Orator.

Sour is the darkest of the Five. It looks rotted and eaten, and it shuns normal contact. It is the Seeker.

Umami is the most creative of the Five. It wears deep colors, and plays with things. It is the Maker.

Mumu, the Voice of the Universe and First Before Five is... well, the Voice of the Universe. He lives as a hat or a hood over Impere's head, and looks very odd but would be very effective at scaring predators, if there were any predators to scare in the Divine Pantry. He was originally the First Can, but was changed by the Universe both to keep him from erupting and to provide Impere some extra assistance (and humor). He cannot speak, but is free to move (as much as a hat can, anyways).

Impere the Pantrymage is the Keeper of the Foodsource, and all that other lovely stuff. In most cultures, there is a Trickster, or a Coyote, or some kind of being with some humor in all the seriousness; Impere plays that role, but she is a bit more helpful than, say, the snake of Adam and Eve. For all intents and purposes, she is the babysitter to the Choir until they Extend (read the section on the Choir for more information on that). She has all the qualities of the Five.

The Choir is a group of all the Gods who have not yet found their place. If you've read Terry Prachett's "Small Gods," the Choir works in a similar way, except each God has an enormous amount of power with or without believers. Occasionally the Choir includes Gods who already have believers, yet still enjoy the company of Their Fellows.

The Universe is basically everything else. It has powers beyond that of all the Gods combined, and an infinite amount of power still left over - and yet, it can only send one Helper for each divine emergency. The Gods deal with the living things, while the Universe deals with the Gods, so to speak.

---

Creators of the Creators of the Creators (or, Staff)

Name: Iggy, IggyBork, Bex
Gender: Female
I wanted to make something with a bit more... oddness than what's on the B/C forum today. I love all the anthros, but I wanted to make something mechanical yet adorable. I also needed something to do with my creativity, so this is it. Hopefully, it'll turn out well. :3

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Marketing!

FLATSALES

-Flatsales will happen whenever the mood strikes.

...

-Well, when there are flatsales, there'll probably be around five for sale.
-Each can will have an individual color style, but I'll try not to use strictly prismatic themes. I'll try and keep them interesting as much as I can. wink
-Only one can per flatsale per customer. If I plan on only doing five per, I don't want any monopolies over 'em.

FLATSALE DIRECTIONS

1. Don't start buying until the title of the post says "FLATSALE" in it somewheres.
2. Copy the order form below (scroll down a bit), and fill out aaaall the sections when you post. If you need to, you can post it first to certify you've got the one you want, and then go back and edit it.
3. After you've posted, make sure you haven't been outposted, and then edit all of your items into the form.
4. Add the costs and whatnot, and then...
5. Send me (IggyBork) a trade, stating which one you're buying.

ORDER FORM DIRECTIONS

[b]Style:[/b]
[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Flavor:[/b]
[b]Items;;[/b]
Main:
Bracelet:
Tail:
Arms:
Forehead:
Eyes:
[b]God:[/b]
[b]Clan:[/b]
[b]Guild:[/b]


-When ordering, you need to first specify which can you're buying (there'll be a title of the coloration), then what flavor it makes. Since these things are supposed to feed Gods, they have to have some kind of taste. wink No repeats of flavors.
-Make sure the flavor fits the type you're buying. Don't try sticking California rolls into a Healer-type, because a Healer-type is sugar-based.
-So long as you stick to those rules, the flavor can be literally anything. The gods aren't quite as specific as our silly human tongues are, so you can use "corned beef" as much as you can use "explosives" or "mortal flesh." While you can use things that are part of stories or series and whatnot, like "starmetal," "elixir of life," or "dragonscales," it can't be stupid - there is no "your mom" flavor or "Aragorn's left ear."
-You can use immaterial flavors, like "labor unions" or "true love," but these might need to be customs, or at least approved.
-Note that in most flatsales, only Leader-types and Healer-types will be available. The reasons for this are, or will be, either in the Roleplaying post or the The Cans! post.

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used but five

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The Cans!

Each one has three to four stages, depending on what you opt for and whatnot. Since these are creatures made by a product of divine emergency, they really have no reason to grow, or to exist, really, but since so many things in the universe seem to need to grow and change, Impere couldn't opt out of letting them gradually increase in size.

Stage 1
User Image
The first is the basic can-base; the second is the can base with the bolts, eyes, and bracelet (it's the nut rolled halfway up the right bolt) added. The last is how most of the bracelets attach things to themselves in this stage (by electricity, some of them will always be that way). Since there'll be so many items, the questionmark is there instead of a giant black splotch.

(Social) The first stage is pretty lazy. Your can just found itself in the middle of the Impending Neuroses Initial Care Center (the reason for the name is because the place is pretty cramped with other cans). There'll always be more than one-two cans in the INICC at a time, because this is where initial bonds, friendships, prejudices, and whatever else are formed. /Every/ can is intelligent, but not all of them are "wise" (i.e., not all of them can sift crap from fact). This is also where your can first determines its/his/her gender.

(Equipment) At this stage, the can isn't large enough to be able to equip all the items it can at later stages - you'll get your coloring, eye choice (although no eye-equipment yet), some inklings of the main item you chose, and your bracelet choice. Every can starts out with a pair of bolts, which are later attached to the sides to become arms.

(Time span) The first stage lasts only as long as it takes you to get to know at least one other can. Try and make friends with as many as you can, though, you never know what a few good impressions can do for your future...

Stage 2
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The first is the base, the second is the base with normal eyes and arms, and the third displays all the changes you can make on this stage excluding the arms, for which I left the bolts on. On it are blue bat ears (ears), a big green ribbon (actual main item in progress), a tail-void, a wing-void, cute anime blush (eyes), and winged armlets (bracelet). Note that these were just drawn to display the equip-spots; none of these are actual sprites, except the ribbon (the green was used for contrast).

(Social) They grow fast, eh? This is the biggest it'll get, but not the most extensive. By this point, your can probably pledged to some organization/god/whatever, or at least made a couple friends. Still at the bottom rung of the social ladder, though. At this stage you also determine what flavor your can produces, because after all, that's the whole point of them - feed the Gods, etc. However, food production doesn't start until the next stage.

(Equpiment) At the second stage, your main item goes to it's full-basic pose, and you can equip eyewear, arms, wings, tails, and ear-things, on top of everything you already had.

(Time span) This stage lasts around two to three weeks, or however long it takes you to become used to the world around you.

Stage 3
User Image

(Social) At this stage, your can is given a bean plant, the fruit (legume?) of which is flavored to whatever flavor you chose in stage 2. Beans work as the alternative currency up in the Heavens, because you can hoard them and turn them in for items and various other things. At this stage, you can select a trade, such as cooking, farming, and whatever else (the skillsets may take some time to develop, though). While each skill has a social use, each one, once I figure them all out, will also have some kind of monetary benefit for you. wink

(Equipment) The only new item here is the bean plant. It's only /just/ started growing, so the added art benefits don't come until the next stage.

(Time span) This stage lasts about three weeks; that's enough to grow a bean or so to get you used to the process.

Stage 4
-harder to depict-

(Social) At this stage, your can knows enough of the social structure to start its own organizations here, with structure and/or bureaucracy, however you feel like doing it. This may mean you'll be able to set up individual countries, but that may take more time. Yes, a religion is an organization - those who wish can also "discover" Gods out of the Choir and set up congregations devoted to Them.

(Equipment) Here, you can choose how to pose your can, soldered or not (see below for breeding info). Depending on what pose you pick, you'll be able to equip legs and hats, along with everything else. Also, you can choose how your bean plant appears, with pose options, items, and even the possibility of using the bean-sprouts to replace arms and legs, and perhaps tails.

(Breeding!) In this stage, you can ask Impere to break out the soldering glue and form one combined can out of you, and one or two friends. This means that you can choose how you're soldered, but remember that Impere isn't the greatest metalworker; she learns various new ways to combine over time. Essentially, this is the Uncanny Breeding and/or Marriage system. If at any point you become enormously bored with your combination, you can opt to get the dear Pantrymage to douse the both or three of you with a squeezable tube of universal solvent, which will return you back to your normal forms.



Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used but six

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The Items!

I don't have images for all a lot of these yet. But I figured it would be nice to throw up the itemlist, ya? Some of these are more tenative than others, depending on how well their sprites turn out.

Available Stage One

Eye choice

Main Ribbon, button, fishbones, buckle, piercings, keypad, stealth, barbed wire, shoelaces, flowers, Scouts sash, steering wheel, soup swamp innertube

Bracelet Starburst, winged, deviled, thumbs, Mega Arms, hairbrush, building blocks, paintbrush, lucky rabbit's foot

Available Stage Two

Arms Plane wings, leaf guards, rear view mirror, greater shoulderhorns, lesser shoulderhorns, marionnette cross, bubbles, braids, knittery, club, paperclips, axeblade, ant arms, ratflail

Wings Bubble wand, curtain rod w/curtain, shish kebab, balloons, bird wings, angel wings, bat wings, dragon wings, fairy wings (Gaia style), fairy wings (everywhere else), butterfly wings, pom poms, solar system, fingerwings, earwings

Tail Plug, cat tail, jewelry tails, snakehead (living or dead), scissors, hair, popcorn garland, lion, earbuds, Chain of Command, chameleon, flowers, peacock feathers, dinosaur

Eyewear

Earthings

Available Stage Three

Bean

Available Stage Four

Hats

Legs

Poses (next post)

Beanposes (next post)

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I've used but seven

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Soldering Glue & Universal Solvent

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used but eight

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Reserved for Nefarious Deeds

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used but nine

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Roleplaying

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used but ten

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Further Nefarious Deeds

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I've used but eleven

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Pickups + Ownerlist

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used but twelve

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Links & Affiliate!

(Even though the shop doesn't have legs yet, I'll still affiliate to you if you'd like. And you can still link me. biggrin Just send me a pm, kay?)

Link Button:

User Image
[url=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=22815417][img]http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q89/IggyBork/sucansam.png[/img][/url]


~Affiliates~

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Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used thirteen

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Believers & Heretics

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used fourteen

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Rants & Astronomical Observances

Call it my corner, for the stuffs that happen in my life.

2/3/07 I learned to knit yesterday! Well, kinda. I can do double (?) (2/12 single, sorry) caston and I can knit one row. I don't know how to do the next row, but I can keep going with what I've got until my technique gets better.

But the real purpose for saying that is that I'm wondering if anyone has any links or whatnot that have instructions for doing everything else, or p'raps patterns.

2/12/07 Quirkyalone/Valentine's Day is in two days! biggrin Daisies and roses, everybody, daisies and roses.

Ohh, Lanzer gave me fifteen posts
And I have used them all! biggrin
Gaia Forums » GAIA Gaming » Mini Shops » Breedable/Changing Pets

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