The Aether Leyline dispatch station was usually packed at all parts of the day, from people traveling in and out of Arashi. On that particular night, though, it was empty. Silent, except for the hum of neon signs and the occasional flickering from fluorescent lights. For some reason, it always made it easier to leave when there were more people around. As if it created an atmosphere that was perfect for goodbyes. So standing there, so close to her in the empty station, Takeda found it very difficult to leave.
"I don't know what's more impressive, Takeda: That you went back and forth five times or that you didn't beat him up when he told you that he had it the whole time." Kagerou teased with a grin, approaching the station with Takeda while walking basically shoulder-to-shoulder with him. He'd just been telling her about the first job he had to do alone in Maelstrom, one that acquired more patience than he ever could've relied on back in the Kirigakure days.
"He was an old man living alone in a lighthouse. I figured there was nothing I could do to him that life hasn't dished out already." He responded playfully, looking over to her with a small, pleased smile on his lips. Regardless of what stress his duties as a shinobi or monsoon brought him normally, the time he spent with her was devoid of it all. Not even the somber days of fighting helplessly on his own could make it to the surface, not when she was around. Instead of feeling like brand new development, it was more like a return to form for them. She made him feel the same way when they were younger, and he'd enjoy spending his free time relaxing alongside her, even if he never told her anything.
Back then, though, things weren't so complicated. Takeda never had trouble maintaining eye contact then, but lately, he found himself glancing towards her lips or trailing his eyes down further until he caught himself. Some of the sweet, reassuring words she commonly told him were appreciated in the past. They didn't keep him up at night back then, and she didn't have a place in his dreams either. She used to have the slightest problem keeping up with him at times, but with their time coming to a close soon, his pace was oh so slow when walking to the station. No, things weren't the same anymore, and he could no longer avert his eyes once he saw the reason why.
Examining his face closely after his response, Kagerou could see the way his eyes went from hers to the station ahead and felt him tense through their small bit of contact. She noticed him slow down, even if it was by the smallest bit, and watched that precious smile of his deconstruct faintly, in the way that only she could perceive. "Takeda..." Her voice was light and airy as she spoke his name, to the point where it barely registered to him that she said anything at all. It wasn't the first time she noticed his strange behavior that day, but...it was going to be the first time that she acted on it. Kagerou finally moved away from him, increasing her pace a bit until she descended the first few steps leading to the leyline platform, turning around to face him after. What she saw fell into her expectations, and the thought briefly flashed through her head that she wasn't just doing it to make sure he was alright. There was a possiblity, maybe, that she was looking for a certain reaction from him that could put her own feelings at ease.
Even if she reigned those thoughts in, it didn't change the fact that his expression, regardless of how painful it was to look at, was enough to make her warm inside. Did that make her a horrible person? To feel a glimmer of hope from the hurt that could be read on his face before he had a chance to hide it? "What's the frown for? We'll be doing the same thing next week, right?" She picked words that were meant to reassure him instead of asking the question she wanted to. After all, he didn't give a pleasant response the last time she asked.
Getting his composure together, Takeda slowly nodded in response. "Mm. Right. I'm just conflicted, and...I wanted to spend some more time with you. To help me figure this out." He answered her in his usual direct manner, but there was an unusual inflection in his tone. One so foreign that not even she could place it. He descended the steps after her and ran his hand along the railing in the process, breaking her gaze when he crossed her path. "It's been difficult today. Every time I'm happy, I'm just as terrified."
That response made Kagerou reel a bit inside, not expecting it to hit so close to home. It was Takeda, though, so to anticipate anything less direct was foolish. "Happy but terrified?" She asked, mainly to herself. His back was turned, after all, and she remained completely still, not doing anything to catch his attention. She watched him ready the elevator, feeling a distinct numbness build up around her chest. Despite his words, he was still preparing to leave. How else was she supposed to take that? Managing to keep her smile, if nothing else, she asked him the only question she could think of. For her, it was the only answer at that time. "Is it my fault?" She watched him freeze just as his hand neared the lever, and after watching him try steeling himself, he turned his gaze to her again. His eyes didn't meet hers, though. The contact couldn't be made because she was looking down, unable to bear the weight of whatever expression he was wearing. "I'm sorry. We haven't put much focus on restraint, have we?"
She was right, and Takeda knew that. Hugging, walking side by side, letting their hands wander into each other's when sitting down, all of it made things difficult for him. He didn't know what exactly caused it to happen that day of all the days they'd spent together since her confession. If he had to guess, it was the buildup after having their time cut short several times. He didn't have any Maelstrom work, and he helped her wrap up cases in the hospital early, so they spent the whole day alone together. It made him happy, but he was worried that things wouldn't be the same again. That it was his only day to let her know how he felt, but he was afraid. She was the one who initiated the distance in the first place, so he was scared of being rejected by her.
"No, we haven't." He answered, but it wasn't enough for him. He wanted to say more, but it was hard to do it without putting his heart in the direct line of fire. "But..." He tried starting, but the concern for the future of their friendship worried him as well. If he told her everything and she turned him down, would she distance herself even further? It seemed like something she'd do, if only for his own good, but it was just another thing that left him shaken. To not do anything, though, would be more than just lying to himself. It'd be him pushing forward, knowing he'd regret something that he didn't do. "I can't do this anymore. Kagerou, I-" He stopped when he saw it, only realizing after that he may have not chosen the best words. There was something unexplainable about what he saw. She hardly flinched or moved, but it was like he was watching her heart get torn in half at the same time. He knew, whether she made it obvious or not, that he hurt her. The extent or reason didn't matter.
Just as she was getting ready to step back and say something, Takeda moved forwards, clearing the distance between them and grabbing her hand. While he didn't think she would pull away, he at least expected her to say something, so he was surprised by the complete silence on her end. Bringing her onto the same elevator platform as him, he pulled the lever, leaving them ensconced in there together when the railings surrounded them. Then, in a smooth motion just as the platform started its slow descent, Takeda closed the distance between them and pulled Kagerou into his arms. He kept her close, wrapping his arms around her and securing her safety far more efficiently than any railings out there. "I didn't mean it that way." He whispered to her, a certain intensity to his tone as he gently squeezed her against him.
There was silence between them for a few moments after that. Takeda wouldn't say anything because he wasn't sure how much his words hurt her. Running his mouth before he could ascertain her feelings would only throw him into a deeper hole. Kagerou, on the other hand, was confronted by the possiblity that their situation was more anfractuous than she imagined. She was certain that he was going to put more distance between them. That it was all but guaranteed that their meetings would be stopped for the foreseeable future. She was wrong, though, which meant that his earlier words could have meant anything.
But hopefully...
It took her a while, but Kagerou did eventually hug him back. More than that, he felt her clutch onto his shirt, leaning into him more for a moment.
"Then how did you mean it, Takeda?"
"Mm...ah..." He quietly exclaimed, the small gasp easily picked up by the kunoichi's ears. It was just as perceivable as his heart rate, which increased exponentially. Her question put both of them in a critical situation, whether she wanted it to or not. She could only hold out on his answer for so long, and he felt like there wasn't enough time for him to come up with the best answer. He hoped that some inclination of his feelings could get across in the way he gently squeezed around her body one more time, but it only resulted in more suffering between the two of them. Nothing felt better than having her body pressed against his, but it was muddling his thoughts at the same time. He tried to form a demarcation between his emotions and what was rational but visualizing it was starting to become impossible.
"Takeda." Equal parts hesitation and determination rang in her voice, shaking like the bells that would always follow her. Even then, a smile could be heard in that melodic lilt. "If you keep this up, I'm afraid I'll misunderstand. I'm sorry." She said, dejected but not so pitiful that she would force Takeda to say something he didn't want to. That small hope that flared up for a moment fizzled out when she was met with silence, and she pulled away. She wanted to give him one last squeeze, maybe say something else, but she still had her dignity. She only managed to get so far, though. Just far enough for their eyes to meet. Takeda caught her then, at that moment, holding her cheek with his left hand. It was just like Himawari all over again, except there were no tears for him to clean. Still, he ran his thumb gently over the surface of her skin, cherishing her. It wasn't like she didn't have the strength to back up, but his gaze was keeping her still. His eyes - the eyes she gave him - conveyed the determination that he was finally able to bring to the surface.
"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, Kagerou. The moments I spend with you make me happy, and I want to get closer to you, but I'm terrified that these feelings of mine won't have anywhere to go. That's how I meant it. I can't do this anymore." He told her, finally, but he wasn't done. There was more to be said, and he still wasn't sure that she'd accept his feelings.
As if she could detect his uncertainty, Kagerou spoke. "Then don't. Say it, and I will answer you honestly. After that, you can decide for yourself."
"I love you, Kagerou." Takeda responded almost immediately, the words she told him giving him the push he needed. Sure, he'd be heartbroken if she rejected him. She told him those words so that she could move on without any regrets, but he didn't want to move anywhere. However, he'd be able to get past it if she was honest with him. An honest no would hurt, but a dishonest yes would falter eventually, and he'd crumble right along with it. "When you confessed to me, I wasn't sure about my feelings. You've always been someone special to me, but I never thought that something like love could be...applied to me. Even when we kissed, I couldn't imagine that you'd want it for anything other than comfort." He told her so many things, and everything he admitted was likely something she already knew. Those things alone weren't enough evidence of his love, but he continued. The usually direct, soft-spoken Takeda was wearing his heart on his sleeve again, just like he did on the day they reunited.
"Then you confessed, and I didn't return your feelings. I didn't think anything would change after that. I went back to Maelstrom headquarters and continued my duties as Monsoon. Just as it was shaping up to be business as usual, I realized that I was wrong. After I left...I missed you. Not just having you around or talking with you, but I missed waking up and seeing you there. It was a strange, unfamiliar feeling, but others just like them kept showing up." He admitted to her, a small smile appearing on his lips as he spoke. Any possible confidence it tried to show was betrayed by a red blush, which spread brilliantly across his features. "Then I saw you again, and you went from the Kagerou who was my close friend to the beautiful woman who somehow had feelings for me. The distance you put between us assured me that you didn't feel the same anymore, but I wanted to be closer to you. Over time it all kept building up until it reached the point that even that innocent, comforting kiss crept back into my thoughts every night, and I realized that no matter what I felt about it, I couldn't bear to think of anyone else doing it with you. I think...that's when I started to see it. That I love you. I don't know when or where my feelings decided to show up, but I at least know why. You're my savior, Kagerou, and my exception." With that, his feelings were out in the air. Watching her, he didn't know what he expected, but her sad eyes weren't on the list. "Kagerou..."
"I can't love the way you do," Kagerou admitted, eyes softening in guilt. Immediately, she could catch the misgivings in Takeda's eyes, and she knew, without him saying, the promise she would have to make. A promise she had always expected she would need to make and had been willing to make. Hand reaching up to cup Takeda's cheek, afraid he would turn away at any moment, she called him out of his doubts with a soothing voice, "so let me share a promise instead. I promise that I will be yours and only yours in exchange for the promise that you'll be mine and only mine. I promise that, even if it cannot be in the way you would like me to, I love you, Takeda. I..." She hesitated for a second, searching his eyes, searching her own eyes reflected in his. The words she spoke in this moment, she wanted the truth and only the truth. She didn't want to whisper sweet nothings into Takeda's ear, so she wondered. She wondered until she knew, "I need you, Takeda, and I would be foolish to let errant thoughts and untried emotions be what I lose you for."
She was well aware that this promise offered her nothing... Takeda would not turn his back to his feelings after coming this far. The promise she would receive from him was unnecessary, a promise he would have sworn without receiving anything in return. However, what did that matter? Kagerou happily accepted this unequal treaty nonetheless. The reason being that she, Kagerou, recognized that Takeda deserved it.
"I need you too, Kagerou." He responded, letting a long sigh make its way out of his body. She shocked him at the start there, but he found himself comforted by her words in the end. He continued after moving his hand, taking it from her cheek and letting it trail down to her waist. "I'm not so blinded by my idea of love that I'd turn you down, not when you're making this unfair deal for my sake. Thank you." Takeda told her, and he resisted the urge to tell her that he was sorry for being so selfish. It would have been a lie. After what she said, doubts would have eaten at him eventually, and she was well aware. Aware that even if she couldn't love only him, promising herself would soothe his uneasy heart. "I promise you, Kagerou Uchiha, that I, Takeda Kikuchi, am yours. I'm not too versed at the whole boyfriend thing, but I'll...um, I'll try my best." His face was flushed by the time he was finished, and his voice lost its steadiness after he brought up that term. He was happy about it, of course, but it was just another thing he never thought he'd get to apply to himself.
Kagerou, quick to capitalize on his moment of weakness, moved her hand from his cheek to poke his chest once. "You've already taken me out on so many dates, though. I think you're off to a good start, Takeddy-bear~" The overwhelming seriousness of their predicament started to taper off, and seeing her grin brought a smile to Takeda's face.
"I wouldn't count most of them as dates. Our time together kept getting cut short before today, after all, so I doubt they'd be considered good ones." He told her, and even if he expected a retort to that, he didn't expect it to be so overwhelming.
She leaned up, intruding upon what little personal space could be found in a hug by placing her forehead against his. Even if she normally would have loved to take in every detail of his handsome face at such proximity, she locked her gaze onto his and spoke to him in her soft, melodic voice. "I enjoyed every minute with you, Takeddy. As far as I'm concerned, they were all great."
"Ah...tch."His already blushing face reddened considerably at the contact, and the words which followed were incredibly unfair. So unfair that, after exclaiming in embarrassed mock-annoyance, he gave the best deadpan expression he could. It was far from his best, given the circumstances, but nobody could say that he didn't try. "You're just looking for my weaknesses, aren't you? You're a cold-blooded shinobi through and through." He said, though notably, he didn't pull away from her.
"Ruthless, cold-blooded, and all yours. Sure you aren't going to regret making that promise?" She asked, watching his expression slowly transform with interest. At first, she worried at the disappearance of failed deadpan, but he was looking at her with such softness that it was starting to make her heart pound. Her hand slipped from his cheek to his shoulder, gently gripping his shirt there as she felt something steadily build up inside. Was he getting closer? There was hardly any space between them, but he was definitely getting closer.
"Never. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into." He told her, and before she could interject to confirm with him that she was messing around, he cleared what little distance remained between them to brush his lips against her cheek in a chaste kiss, showing his affection in a small but meaningful way. Pulling back, he got a good look at her frozen smile and reddened cheeks. Catching her red eyes in that wide, surprised look was all the payback he needed. "I'm a shinobi too, Kagerou."
The smirk that just barely started to appear on his lips was such a rare sight that it took the momentum out of her next immediate response. "Sure...sure, but besides that...Hey, Takeda?" She didn't give him a very satisfying victory to their small verbal battle. Normally she at least would have sarcastically congratulated him on learning how to "ninja" properly, but focusing on the new curve of his lips put other priorities before that. Her expecting gaze eventually went from there to his eyes, silently pressing him to respond to her.
Takeda had a slight feeling about what she was getting at, but he didn't want to draw any uncertain conclusions. The smirk did melt away into a more passive expression, and he nodded his head in response to her. "Mm?" Both an exclamation and a question, he silently asked for what was on her mind, his own gaze starting to carry the same expectancy as hers.
She responded much quicker than before, but her words came out as a slow, steady whisper. "Can I kiss you?" While she did have the tact to wait for him to respond, Kagerou took the liberty of leaning closer to him again.
Takeda found her adorable at that moment, and he had a hard time containing his excitement at the chance to feel that intense experience again. "I'm the one who confessed. Isn't it supposed to be my turn?" He asked, keeping the same low tone that she did when he answered. Despite his question, he still moved closer, doing enough to convince her to expedite the process on her end. Their lips met again for the first time in over a month, and the chaste, sweet nature of the quick peck lifted his spirits.
She pulled back a bit just after, smiling wider than before when she spoke. "Nonsense. You take too lo- mm!"
As if looking to prove her wrong, Takeda wasted little time before clearing the distance once more, stealing another quick kiss. Maybe, in another life where he could have confessed much earlier and didn't have to deal with so many interruptions, he could be sated by one small, heartwarming peck on the lips. Even if it made him impossibly happy, he needed more. Judging by the way she clenched his shirt again and slid her other arm around him, he was sure the feeling was mutual. Wordlessly, their second kiss passed into a third one, just as brief, and then his lips started to meet hers more firmly. Takeda used his arms to press Kagerou's body into his before she could get the chance, gently squeezing her against him while he immersed himself in her for a while longer. Until she decided that she had enough, he'd gladly express the boundless love that he had for the only person it could ever belong to.
