I solemnly swear...

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

James /is/ a pretty, pretty princess.	62.5%	[ 10 ]
No, he's a jerk.	12.5%	[ 2 ]
He just is.	6.2%	[ 1 ]
What is the point of this?	18.8%	[ 3 ]
Total Votes:			[ 16 ]

[Taywen]

Don't post, and whatnot. Thanks. c:

[Taywen]

when she saw the latest disaster, his mother shrieked,
[********]❝ Ｊ Ａ Ｍ Ｅ Ｓ x Ｓ Ｉ Ｒ Ｉ Ｕ Ｓ x Ｐ Ｏ Ｔ Ｔ Ｅ Ｒ !! ❞


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ｎｉｃｋｎａｍｅ : None. My name is James. Don't call me Jim, or Jamie, or any other derivative
yeahh of that. It's J - A - M - E - S.

ａｇｅ : Seventeen; legally adult now, actually. Aren't you terrified?

ｂｉｒｔｈｄａｔｅ : March 21st. It was a lovely summer morning, the sun was shining, birds were
yeahhsinging- oh, wait, no. Wrong story, sorry. Oh, and in Astronomy I learned that I'm
yeahhan Aries. I think we learned more, but since that rubbish class was held around mid -
yeahhnight, I fell asleep.

ｇｅｎｄｅｒ : It should be obvious. Why am I always so put-upon? I'm male.

ｏｒｉｅｎｔａｔｉｏｎ : I swing either way, if you know what I mean. And if you don't... I'd be more
yeahhthan happy to explain. In detail. In private.

ｂｌｏｏｄ : AB; the universal receiver. I'm afraid I don't much appreciate that term. Dear me, I
yeahhneed to get my mind out of that gutter. In terms of so-called 'blood purity' I'd be
yeahhconsidered a half-blood, though if you want to be technical I'm three-quarters
yeahhpureblood, one-quarter Muggle.


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[********]

[Taywen]

having barely touched the top of his head, the sorting hat screamed,
[********]❝ Ｇ Ｒ Ｙ Ｆ Ｆ Ｉ Ｎ Ｄ Ｏ Ｒ !! ❞


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ｔｒａｉｔ : What got me sorted into Gryffindor? Probably my nerve - I have quite a lot of it.
yeahhJust ask your mother. I crossed a line there, I sincerely apologize.

ｗａｎｄ : 11½", sturdy, rowan with dragon heartstring. This is my second wand, actually.
yeahhI, ah, got in a little accident (a duel? I would never!) in my fourth year and my wand
yeahhbroke, so this is the replacement. I feel a bit disloyal saying so, but I have to admit
yeahhI prefer this one. It's great for Transfiguration and hexes, things like that... And
yeahhfor dueling - or so I've heard, 'course I haven't been dueling.

ｙｅａｒ : Seventh, obviously. Honestly, I'm not too sure how I feel about that. It's nice being
yeahhat the top, of course, but after this I'm going to have to go out and do something
yeahhwith my life. Maybe I can get a job at Uncle George's shop.

ｃｌａｓｓｅｓ : In order of preference/attendance. Because I skip a lot. I'm a bad kid.
yeahh●xTransfiguration; just about the only tolerable class, in my humble estimation,
yeahhhhold chap. Got an O, naturally.
yeahh●xCharms; not a terrible class, and hey! I got an O in it, shockingly.
yeahh●xDADA; not terrible, but it can get pretty boring. Got an E.
yeahh●xPotions; see above. Scraped by with an E, barely.
yeahh●xCoMC; can be entertaining, mostly it's just a slack class; got an E in this too.
yeahh●xothers; failed them/couldn't be bothered to show up at the exam.

qｕｉｄｄｉｔｃｈ : I almost forgot, I'm on the Quidditch team. It runs in the family, as you may
yeahhor may not have been aware. I'm the Keeper of Gryffindor's team, not the Seeker
yeahhas you might have expected. Oh, I'm Captain this year too, which is good, 'cause
yeahhI thought mum was going to disown me when I didn't make Prefect (as if there was
yeahhever any hope that I would).

ｐｅｔ : My ever indulgent parents (I was spoiled, in case you haven't noticed; I think it might
yeahhhave something to do with my father's utter lack of parenting and my mother's
yeahhmemories of eternal hand-me-downs. But I digress) bought me a lovely snowy owl
yeahhreminiscent of dad's dear-departed Hedwig when I started at Hogwarts. I named him
yeahhSable; my brilliance is painfully obvious even at that young age.



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[********]

[Taywen]

when asked about him, everyone immediately knows who you're referring to;
[********]❝ Ｏ Ｈ , x Ｊ Ａ Ｍ Ｅ Ｓ x Ｉ Ｓ . . . ❞


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ａｐｐｅａｒａｎｃｅ : I'm a pretty, pretty princess. No, really.
yeahh●xheight; a modest five feet, ten inches. I wouldn't mind being a little taller, but
yeahhhhI've got no real complaints.
yeahh●xhair; dark brown, almost black. It's like my dad's, except not as unruly.
yeahh●xeyes; brown, like my mum's. Not much else to add. Oh, wait. I have an intense,
yeahhhhsmoldering gaze. Just putting it out there.
yeahh●xmisc./etc.; I like to wear Muggle clothes. Robes get in the way, impede running
yeahhhhspeed, make irritating swishing sounds, etc. And by Muggle clothes I mean simple
yeahhhhthings like jeans and t-shirts. Nothing fancy.

ｐｅｒｓｏｎａｌｉｔｙ : With a sparkling personality to match!
yeahh●xself-centered; yes, I'm one of those annoying people who think of themselves
yeahhhhfirst and others later. It's not my fault I'm more important than the other
yeahhhhwhatever percentage of people in the world.
yeahh●xlaid-back; I don't have much of a work ethic, and my commitment to anything
yeahhhhother than pranks and Transfiguration is negligible at best.
yeahh●xsarcastic/deadpan; hey, what's a good definition of sarcasm?! ... Verbal irony!
yeahhhhSadly, irony seems to be beyond the vast majority of people, and my lack of
yeahhhhemotion when delivering only throws them off even more. Maybe one day I'll be
yeahhhhunderstood.
yeahh●xquick-thinking; comes in handy for the above. I'm a master at debating. A
yeahhhhmaster debater you might even say. (That joke's so old it's not even funny
yeahhhhanymore, but I've never had any qualms about flogging a dead horse... Though
yeahhhhperhaps I should, come to think of it.) It's also useful for talking my way out of
yeahhhhsticky situations.
yeahh●xcharming; when I need to be, i.e. when wriggling out of detention or conversing
yeahhhhwith people I don't like but need to be polite to.
yeahh●xdaring; let's be frank (but no, I'm Sirius!): without my daring, I would never be
yeahhhhable to pull off the stunts that have so enamored me with my peers and the
yeahhhhadministration.
yeahh●xproud; I'm easygoing about a lot of things, but certain things I just won't stand
yeahhhhfor. There are certain things I consider to be important; for example, if someone
yeahhhhinsults my extreme good looks, I'll beat them up. (At my own discretion, I mean,
yeahhhha first year calls me ugly, I'm not going to take a spaz on them. Some Slytherin
yeahhhha** mouths off to me, well, that's another story entirely.)
yeahh●xconfident; a no brainer, unless you're exceptionally dense - or have no brain,
yeahhhhhaha. I wouldn't teach someone a lesson (see above trait) because I'm insecure;
yeahhhhI'm not a bully, because clearly I'm not the instigator here. Got off track there,
yeahhhhwhere was I? Oh yeah, confident. Just comes with the whole relatively - benign -
yeahhhhtrickster package I guess. (My, that was an assured statement.)



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dinosaurs!!!!

[Taywen]

however, if asked anything personal, odds are he'll respond with something along the lines of,
[********]❝ Ｄ Ｏ Ｎ ' Ｔ x Ｂ Ｅ x Ａ x Ｓ Ｔ Ａ Ｌ Ｋ Ｅ Ｒ . . . ❞


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ｂｉｏｇｒａｐｈｙ : Isn't there a book about the lives of the great Harry Potter's children floating around somewhere for you to peruse? I don't feel like recounting the grand tale, sadly. All right, all right, I'll give you a brief synopsis. You'd better appreciate it though.

yeahhIn case you haven't already noticed, I was rather spoiled as a child. My parents might not be the typical - doting - rich - types, but the point is, I never really wanted for anything. Between the various friends of the family, very large extended family (on my mum's side, of course) and my own parents who wanted me to be happy (dad especially; just thinking about his childhood is a little depressing) I got quite a lot. I was an entitled little brat, actually. It was probably good that Al came along and got some of everyone's attention, else I'd probably be one of those irritating only-children who annoy the hell out of everyone with their sense of entitlement... But I digress.

yeahhDespite what you might think, the whole Gryffindor-Slytherin antagonism, the fact that we're only two years apart, etc., etc., my relationship with Albus is not all that bad. Sure, we bickered and all that adorable young boy rivalry stuff, but when it comes down to it we don't hate each other or anything like that. At least, I don't hate Al. Maybe he hates me, I really don't know. I don't understand him well at all, between his obsessive nature about grades and, oh yeah, he's in Slytherin, but in the end I respect him. I just show my affection in odd ways. Like stealing one of his numerous drafts. Though he can be scary when he's angry.

yeahhAs for Lily, well, we'll never be as close as she and Al are (were?). I don't really know what happened there, but it seems like they're a little cool right now. Given both of their natures, I think the best policy to take is to not mention it, yeah? Anyway, we get along fine. I'm not super-protective of her (mostly because anyone would be an absolute fool to do something to her and escape her unscathed) but I do care about her. I guess the way to describe our relationship would be... civil. I never, ever prank her. Because even though Lily's in Hufflepuff, the stereotypical 'wimp' House - oh God, don't ever tell her I said that - she's anything but. You might even say she's scarier than Al when she's angry too.

yeahhWhat's left? This examination of my familial relations is tiring. Oh, my parents. Well, I get on pretty well with my dad. It's kind of creepy how similar we are, but in different ways. That didn't make much sense, but please, allow me to elaborate. He never put much of an emphasis on his studies, just like me, except his reason was that he was always running around thwarting Voldemort or other heroic stuff like that, while I just waste my time with pranks and coming up with new tricks. But anyway, he doesn't get on my case about that too much, and we both have the common ground of Quidditch. I think he was a little disappointed I'm not more into DADA, but oh well. Tough luck for him.

yeahhAnd last, but certainly not least, my dear mum. She's on my case about my generally slacker attitude quite a bit, and tends to disapprove of all my pranks, but at least we understand each other. Sometimes, when I bother thinking about it, I feel a little depressed at how isolated her kids are from her. I get the feeling she doesn't understand Al at all (which I can relate to, but she and I are hardly about to start a discussion of this phenomenon) and despite the fact that she clearly loves Lily, my sister doesn't seem to appreciate it. Then again, I wouldn't like being smothered - er, showered - with all that affected either. Anyway, in the end we get a long, rather grudgingly.

yeahhOh right. My extended family. Having such a large family is rubbish. My wrist hurts from writing all that, and I've still got... Ugh, I'll just get it over with, shall I? My cousins, we get along fine. I try to avoid Rose for pranks, because, again, she's scary when she's angry. (I'm starting to see a pattern here...) I like Hugo fine - and hey, he's in Gryffindor too! - and I think he likes me too. Aunt Hermione is like my mum, disapproves my general existence, Uncle Ron... I don't even know. The one Uncle I like the best is George, for rather obvious reasons.

yeahhFinally, we'll return to my life story. I'll keep it short, since you're probably already bored from all that family stuff. I loved going to benefits and Auror events, all that stuff my dad and mum were always invited to. Unfortunately, my tendency to cause... mischief, shall we say, eventually made my father refuse to continue taking me, which was quite a disappointment. Despite all the trouble I go into among the other kids dragged along by their parents, I never made any friends with them. Something about me being a spoiled prat, I believe. Ah, well. Not everyone can have famous parents. C'est la vie.

yeahhI can't really think of anything important concerning the time before I went to Hogwarts. As I said, I never made any friends - not that I tried all that hard, mind you - so I grew up entertaining myself, or occasionally playing (read: bickering) with Al. I tried to get him to play Quidditch with me, but he always refused, which kind of sucked. Still, the one thing that sticks out in my memory is my obsession with Quidditch. Mum was still on a team then, and I went to all of her games. My diligence was rewarded by the gift of a Firebolt when I was eight years old. I still have it, though by now it's a little outdated... I still love it though.

yeahhThere was never any doubt that I'd turn out to be a Squib, after all I was the one managing to pull off feats that would have been impossible for a Muggle child. I even nicked mum's wand once... Never did it again. She's terrifying when she's angry. Point is, the letter of acceptance to Hogwarts was expected. Not being a Gryffindor never even crossed my mind, and when I arrived at the old castle (one of the few places in the Wizarding World I'd never been before) I was suitably awed and whatnot. The Sorting went as expected, which led me to be placed in Gryffindor. The other Gryffindors greeted me with caution, not quite sure what to make of me. I'm sure they'd heard something about what a brat I was.

yeahhI kept to myself, cracking jokes when the time was appropriate, staying a little wary myself. Eventually though, I gained a reputation as a fearless prankster; back then, I'd foolishly take just about any dare that anyone uttered, got into detention more times than I can count, all that good stuff. I was liked by most of the students, apart from those stuck up kids who thought school was for actual learning and not for jokes. (That's the joke, yeah?) I didn't make friends any friends in my House, but that was fine. The weird thing is, my best (er, only, actually) friend is a Slytherin. I guess that just goes to show that prejudices and House rivalries are rubbish. Other than Nicky though, I don't have any other friends.

yeahhSadly, there were no openings on Gryffindor's Quidditch team in my first year, so even though tryouts were held, I failed rather miserably. It probably didn't help that I tried out for Seeker, even though I was rubbish at the position. The next year, however, about half of the team graduated, so I was able to join as a Chaser. I was all right, not the best but certainly not the worst. In my third year, the Keeper graduated and I immediately got that position, which I've occupied ever since. I'm even the Captain now, though some of the team members complain about how many practices I schedule. Something about not having enough time to do homework or some nonsense like that. Rubbish, I say.

yeahhI think that about brings us to the present. Most of my school career has been a joke. I'm serious about some classes, as already stated, but for the most part I prefer pranking people and practicing for Quidditch. Oh, and you know what's great about having the Head Boy as your best friend? Barely any detention. I suppose I am "popular", whatever that means. I'm on speaking terms with most people, though again, Nikolai is my only close friend. Come to think of it, Al doesn't really have friends either. Coincidence? It must be, I don't have all his weird idiosyncrasies. (Er, I still love you, Al.)

ｌｉｋｅｓ : Just a brief list, it'd be a lot of work to make something comprehensive.
yeahh●xQuidditch; no further explanation needed.
yeahh●xTransfiguration; some lesser mortals find it difficult, but Transfiguration always
yeahhhhcame naturally to me. Plus it's great for a laugh.
yeahh●xrain; I don't know why, I just like the rain. It's peaceful, and all that.
yeahh●xchocolate; it tastes good. (That's what she said.) You want something from me?
yeahhhhBribe me with Honeydukes chocolate.
yeahh●xintercourse; oh, dirty thoughts were conceived when you read that, don't even try
yeahhhhto lie. Anyway... Interpret that however you want. I do enjoy hearing the sound of
yeahhhhmy own voice though.
yeahh●xirony; it's entertaining. I mean, what are those examples of irony that teachers
yeahhhhalways spit out? "It's ironic if a firefighter's house gets burned to the ground." Hm,
yeahhhhperhaps that was a poor choice of example.
yeahh●xpranks; because I'm a malicious, spiteful guy.
yeahh●xdueling; don't tell anyone... Though I think it's rather common knowledge. Ah, well.


ｄｉｓｌｉｋｅｓ :See above.
yeahh●xsweets; I almost choked on a lollipop when I was a kid; my sweet tooth never really
yeahhhhrecovered after that. Tragic, I know.
yeahh●xbeing excluded; I really hate it when people say 'oh, it's a private joke' or people
yeahhhhpurposely leaving me out.
yeahh●xlosing ; well, I'll admit (this once) that I'm not the best at everything, but I hate
yeahhhhlosing at something I'm good at.
yeahh●xexcessive stupidity; perhaps a better way to phrase that would be willful stupidity.
yeahhhhPeople who know better, but still ask idiotic questions, or do stupid things (what,
yeahhhhthis is beginning to sound like me? Nonsense) just annoy the hell out of me.
yeahh●xcats; a little ironic, considering Gryffindor's mascot/symbol/whatever is a lion, but I
yeahhhhdon't like cats and they don't like me. Seriously now, even the most even-tempered
yeahhhh(assuming there is such a thing) cat tends to be rather vicious towards me. I don't
yeahhhhunderstand it, but there it is.

ｓｅｃｒｅｔｓ : So... My dad's Marauder's Map mysteriously disappeared about four years ago - though the only one who noticed was me. Since I was the one who took it from its "hiding place". If dad's noticed, he certainly hasn't mentioned it, and now I'm just about impossible to catch in the act. If only I had his Cloak now...

ｃｏｌｏｒｓ : No clue. I'll finish this in a sec, yeah?

ｍａｓｔｅｒｍｉｎｄ : Yeah, I am a mastermind - er, hold up, I'm supposed to write something else
yeahhhere? Taywen? What kind of rubbish name is that?

ａ ｂ ｃ ｄ ｅ ｆ ｇ ｈ ｉ ｊ ｋ ｌ ｍ ｎ ｏ ｐ ｒ ｓ ｔ ｕ ｖ ｗ ｙ


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[********]