c u p p ii e ' s ❥ t e s t i n g

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[c u p p ii e]

sebastian nicholas rockwell @sebbie




❝ @a.rockwell and yet I just obliterated you at our match. ❞


xxxxx ♡ xxxxx ↪xxxxx ✉ xxxxx ⟳


liked by @a.rockwell, @jackjack and 4 others

[c u p p ii e]

x

𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝
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DON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxxxCAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS
xDON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxx CAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS




At a younger age, the room that Bonnet had chosen, scared the living day lights out of him. When the family used to come out to this cabin this usually ended up an empty room, sometimes Sebastian's if he was feeling a little adventurous. As a young child, with the wildest of imaginations, had him assuming that the worst things were lurking right outside those giant windows. Now that he was older, walking into the room now, he was pretty pleased with his girlfriend's choice. He thought it looked so nice being able to see the snow fall in the dark of night, and don't even get him started about all of the stars that would be visible through it as well. Not to mention, he knew if it looked this appealing now, it would only get better during the day when you could see further back, past the tree's that hung just outside of it. So immediately, after dropping the bags off on the bed, he walked over to the window and began to gaze for just a moment. His eyes were locked onto the stars above and instantly he began mentally naming off all of the constellations he could remember. Through a lot of practice with Sebastian when they were younger, and the new information he was provided during just his first few months in college, this had came easily to him. Alexander was just about to name off the Little Dipper when he heard Bonnet finally follow him in and, without a word, she began to rummage around in her suitcase. For a moment he watched her in her frantic state and was just about to ask her what she was looking for when she had sped off as fast as she came in. With a quick shrug he had just let it go and let her be, Bonnet was jagged and he wasn't going to deal with it right now. He knew that this would only cause him to be angry the entire night and this was his trip, his Christmas gift from his brother. So with that in mind he pulled off two of the sweaters that he had been wearing previously, the alcohol and beer pong had warmed him even in this winter chill, before throwing it on the bed and heading down stairs to find him.

As soon as he had reached downstairs he had found Sebastian walking through the sliding glass door that lead out to the porch. Automatically, he assumed that his brother had just gotten done smoking and didn't think much of it when he had heard Courtney shouting form outside. Quickly the noise subsided when the door was completely shut, and so he asked, "You beat me in beer pong but it's not going to happen in poker." His brother nodded at his invitation and grabbed two beers from the kitchen, one for himself and one for Alex, before joining his brother at the kitchen table. From then on the hands were continuously dealt and Alex was coming up with the bigger pile. When it came down too it, he was the better liar of the two brothers. I guess it had come with the territory of who he was labeled to be. He constantly needed to find himself getting out of situations and also getting himself into them as well. Although, you'd think that Sebastian would be good at it as well due to the fact that he was going to school for film. I guess it was good thing that he wanted to be behind the camera, rather than in front of it; his acting skills were sub-par. "Straight flush." With a smile, he placed the cards on the table and celebrated with a sip of his own beer, not taking his eyes off his brother for even a second. The near defeat in his eyes made it so satisfying, especially after having his butt handed to him in beer pong just a few hours ago. Ever since Alexander had gotten older, it was a constant competition between the two, but always in good fun; nothing serious ever.

Just as Sebastian grabbed all of the laid out cards and began shuffling, was when Jackson calmly walked through glass door. In that moment, all of the sounds and giggling of outside came echoing throughout the cabin. Out of all of them, Bonnet's rang the clearest and instantly his jaw began to tighten. The longer this night went on, the more angry he grew. When he looked back at his brother a smile was on his face, due to him knowing Alex better than anyone, he knew that the young male was upset. Sebastian found it interesting to have Alex so worked up over a girl again, he hadn't been this kid since he was with another girl his freshman year of high school. On top of that, after the whole overdose thing, it was nice to see him have a little emotion knocked back into him. This definitely wasn't a great emotion, but an emotion nonetheless. When Sebastian arrived back home on Christmas Eve, from the moment he smacked him in the head and saw his face, he looked like a ghost. His eyes and body language read nothing more than tired and emotionally drained, but in more recent days it seemed like he was getting back to normal. In any case, silently he threw out the deal and Alex was able to keep his patience up until he heard Courtney burst through the door with her excitement. With zero hesitation he got to his feet and was just about to head outside when Sebastian stopped him. "Calm down, it's just body shots." He was about to respond when he heard another giggle coming form outside, Bonnet's giggle. Quickly he threw the cards on the table and walked outside to see Bonnet laid out and John sucking liquid of her navel. In the few times that he had talked to John he was almost sure that he was gay, but it was never verbally confirmed by anyone. On top of that, she was in nothing but her bra and panties which was amazing how he proceeded to handle it. Instead of causing a scene he put on a fake cheeky smile and then walked over to the group. "My turn." In the background you could hear Jackson cheering him on as he caused the newly poured liquor to disappear. Once he was through, he slid her off of the side and into his arms. "I'll be taking this." To anyone, it looked like he was now going to whisk her away to have some "alone time" but really he just wanted her out of that situation. She was way to drunk right now and this was not like her, and then for her to be like this around Jackson and his brother, especially were not okay. Everything under her clothes was his to see, nobody else.

[c u p p ii e]

x

𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝
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DON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxxxCAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS
xDON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxx CAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS




The two of them had just gotten through the living room area when her arms snaked their way up around his neck and her head dug it's way into his shoulder. A small sigh escaped his lips because he wanted nothing more than to be mad at her but, with the way she was right now, it was hard. She was so intoxicated and so helpless, and no one else was going to get her to bed. The only other two that could have managed was Georgia, but the two were on bad terms after their whole quarrel when they first arrived. Then there was Courtney, and the likelihood of that seemed zero to none. If anything, her sister was only pushing her deeper and deeper into the blackness that she was about hit if she got any more intoxicated. "What the hell has gotten into you, Bandit?" he had said as soon as he thought everyone was out of earshot. Calmly he placed her down at the foot of the staircase and looked at her heavy glossy blue eyes. Never did he expect himself to be helping a girl get through a drunken night, especially not Bonnet. "Go upstairs and get in bed. I'm going to grab you some water." Stupidly he had let her go, assuming she could actually make it up on her own. Honestly, in what universe though? His mind was clouded because of so many thoughts running through it and so when she seemed steady, he had walked away to go do as he said he was.

Although, it didn't take very long before he was rushing back around the corner at the sound of loud thuds hitting the wall. Quickly he grabbed what he needed and found her clearing the last few steps of the staircase. From his view, he could see absolutely everything and immediately there was an involuntary twitch in his pants. Another sigh escaped his lips, instincts having to be put to rest because there was no way that, that was happening tonight. She was way to messed up and Alex was feeling a nice buzz himself and when it came down too it, he honestly didn't prefer sex with girls who were intoxicated. It gave him a weird vibe, the whole issue of full consent and then if it did end up happening, it was just plain sloppy. So instead of thinking with his downstairs, he continued to use his brain and met her at the top as she was trying to pick herself up. Just as he cleared the last step himself, he noticed Georgia sitting on the couch watching television alone. Had she been sitting there all night? He was fully unaware of everyone's placement, but he could have sworn that she wasn't there when he went off to go play cards with his brother about an hour ago. Also, being that everyone was downstairs hanging out, he just assumed that he had missed her outside in is blind rage to get Bonnet out of the hot tub. In any case, he wrapped his arm around Bonnet's waist and clutched on to be her arm and the water bottle with the other. "Come on. Right in here." It was apparent that Georgia didn't want to talk and the last thing he needed was for Bonnet to get worked up. He could easily carry her if she began to grow fussy, as if she was a five year in the middle of a temper tantrum, but he wanted to avoid that at all costs. At this point he was tired and angry, and the last beer that he had with his brother was starting to catch up with him just a bit more.

Finally, finally after a solid ten minutes, the two walked into the room and Alexander immediately shut the door behind him. It was a clear sign that he didn't want either of them leaving and more importantly, he didn't want anyone else bothering them for the rest of the evening. She needed sleep and maybe, just maybe, if it was quiet enough she would just pass right out. Quickly he threw her on the bed and her clothes off into a separate corner. He had full intentions of letting her go to sleep as she was but it was when he looked back over to her did he notice her shivering. It was in the moment he knew he was going to have to strip her of the wet clothes or else she'd never get dry. She would freeze over night, even with all the blankets and Alex wrapped around her. "Come here." Gently he pulled her dead wait into his lap so he could remove her bra and then laid her back down in order to remove her panties. At that point, he got to his feet so he could throw the wet clothing off to the side, joining the rest of the garments. Before he could even make his way back to her, just across the room, she had already curled herself in a little ball with the blankets nearly covering her head. He was just about to join her in bed himself, he needed sleep and she needed a baby sitter so he was in for the night as well. Although, just as he had the fly to his pants undone, her question took him slightly by surprised, even more so because he had thought that she had already passed out. Why did she want her phone so bad? She was drunk and in his opinion, she had definitely been on social media far to much tonight. "It's right here, now go to sleep." Alexander retrieved the device from the jeans, that laid across the floor, and placed it on the bedside table. At that point he pulled his own from his back pocket and put it beside hers before stripping off his pants so he was down to his boxers. Apparently he was being fast enough because soon after Bonnet was requesting his presence. "Yeah, coming." His cheeks were set aflame when his childhood nickname popped out of her mouth, he was embarrassed. Alexander hated it with a passion after being called it all throughout middle school, also thanks to Bonnet. It reminded him of when he was chubby little guy and also when things were an easier time for him, both things that he wanted to forget. He was well fit now and locking those good memories away allowed him to take on the last few years a little easier. So with slight blush in his cheeks he slid on a the sweater, that he had been wearing when they first arrived, and hopped in bed with her. He knew that in addition to keeping himself warm, he had to be able to keep her warm as well. As much as he didn't necessarily want too, due to his temper, he scooted in and wrapped his arms around her waist, expecting them both to drift off.

buzz. buzz. It had only been about a half hour since they two had actually gone to sleep. Overall, with slight convincing, well, a little more than slight, Bonnet had convinced him to sleep with her. His head was telling him no, but everything else in his body was telling him yes. It didn't make it any easier to refuse when she was already undressed and waiting for him. In any case, he untangled his arms from his girlfriend and reached for the phone that had gone off on the bedside table. All he could think was, who could possibly be texting him at this hour? Generally, he would have just let it go but the thought it being Jackson or even his brother peaked his interest. As soon as he grabbed the device it had lit up and and immediately he was blinded by the brightness of it. Alexander began squinting up until his eyes refocused and was thoroughly confused when he saw that it was a message from Peter. In his groggy state he had hardly realized that this wasn't his phone at all, so with a couple more reads he finally put two and two together. Immediately he looked at Bonnet and then back at the phone, with daggers in his eyes. In that short text message, his head was in a whirlwind and began jumping from conclusion to conclusion. It went from, why is Peter texting her? to why is she cheating on him with Peter in two point five seconds. At that point, he wanted to scream, he wanted to yell, but he knew that after last nights events it would do no good. Bonnet was still going to be drunk and on top of that, even behind closed doors, it was still a very public place to have this argument. He refused to be humiliated again, as he was all of those years ago.

Alexander was extremely tired after the nights events but after that he knew he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. Also, he had no desire to be in this room with Bonnet any more so instead he tossed her phone on the bed, leaving the message open.

From; Peter
To; Bonnet
Same to you, Bonnet. Ireland with the
lads and family has been great! It's a
shame that you couldn't come with me.
I can't wait to see you when I get back!

[c u p p ii e]

x

𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝
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DON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxxxCAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS
xDON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxx CAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS




With everything that was going on in his head he knew that he just needed to get out and away from her. He was absolutely fuming as he shut the door behind him and began heading out through the small living room area upstairs. He planned on just passing, but stopped in his tracks at the sight before him. Both Sebastian and Courtney were curled up in a little ball together, cuddling if you will, completely passed out with the television on. This raised even more questions that he had, had earlier on. Maybe his brother was now starting to keep stuff from him too? They were always so close so why now? In that moment his irritation grew that much higher. Although something came to mind at the thought of secrets, Alexander's new habit of smoking. No one currently knew that he smoked aside from Jackson, but Jackson honestly couldn't care any less. It was funny, the young male came from a very strict and judgmental military background, and yet he was the complete opposite of what he made his family out to be. The only other person that knew was Bonnet, and if it hadn't been for that one time she had caught him outside in his own backyard, which she shouldn't have even been in, in the first place, he still would have had it hidden away from her too. In any case, he knew that this was his escape from the night! Although, he hadn't brought any for himself. To be honest, Alex hadn't really smoked much since his overdose three weeks ago. The whole thing really freaked him out and so it was only very seldom that he would find himself doing it. So needless to say, he was going to have to get it some where else and with zero hesitation, he did exactly that.

After a quick trip into his brothers room, and a little bit of rummaging through his suitcase, he had found the substance and made his way out to the front porch. Alexander took one glance at the hot tub before shaking his head, reliving last nights events, and taking a seat on one of the many chairs left out. There was no messing around, in a matter of moments he had rolled a clean joint and began to smoke his problems clean away. It filled his lungs as he inhaled with such desperation and need. Only after a few hits did he begin feeling it throughout his body and did his eyes began to feel low. When he was completely through, he tossed the last bit off the balcony and out of sight, before he proceeded to do as he was earlier. Instead of getting up right away, he found his eyes wandering right back up to the stars above him. Slowly, he began to count out constellations in his head, one by one. Orion's Belt. Taurus. Pleiades. Castor. It had gone on like that for a few moments before his mind began to wander all over the place, but with nothing of bad thought. As his gaze moved across the sky he began to think about how in-depth the universe was and how things happened. The overall drive that sent him to school for astronomy. There were so many things out there, so many things that he couldn't even imagine or begin to describe. A place where things were so complicated and yet so beautiful at the same exact time. So that's where he stayed for the rest of the morning, simply letting his mind get lost in the vastness of space.

Honestly, it had only felt like a short while, but before he knew it, the sun was starting to shine over the horizon and right over the balconies railing. Finally his eyes moved down and right into the beautiful colors that began to paint the sky. He assumed, he had made it out here this long, might as well enjoy the sunrise while he can. Although, once it was over, he decided that maybe it was time to get back inside. Even though everyone had been asleep, he wasn't too sure if anyone had noticed his two, almost three, hour absence. So with that, he got to his feet and walked right through the sliding glass door and right into Bonnet and Courtney on the couch. Alexander fully intended on ignoring her, like the child he was, but that's when she had spoken to him. In effort to not cause a scene he briefly responded, "Slept fine." That was beyond an understatement, the night before he was having a great sleep up until Peter had woken him up. Instead of standing around to hear her respond or have her sister make a comment on his behavior, he kept walking. Quickly he began to make his way upstairs, he was tired and needed a bit of rest, but just as he rounded the corner Jackson was in sight. "I was just looking for you. Let's head out to the lake." Jackson, the only person in the cabin he didn't want to cut off completely right now. The only person in the cabin that hadn't lied to him or had gotten on his nerve's since he had arrived. So with slight hesitation he nodded, "Alright, let's go." A slightly forced smile was placed on his face as the two turned around and headed back downstairs. Alex was sluggish as Jackson took the steps two, extra pep in his step this morning? Instead of questioning, he shrugged it off, he didn't care enough to ask right now. He just wanted to get out, but as his friend reached for the bottom of the staircase he listened to him ask everyone in the room to join them. Instantly a mental groan, he didn't know that Jackson was going to make this a group this or else he probably would have skipped out. Now what was he supposed to do? He couldn't back out, that would be too suspicious, so he watched as one by one people gathered themselves and agreed to go with them.

[c u p p ii e]

peterisainmdom feels right to back in the homeland!

♡ xxxx ↪ xxxx ✉ xxxx ⟳ xxxxxxxx ☖

liked by jackjack and 62 others

9 comments

[c u p p ii e]

peterisainmdom proper way to start off the new year. ready to get
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx absolute langered!

♡ xxxx ↪ xxxx ✉ xxxx ⟳ xxxxxxxx ☖

liked by jackjack and 54 others

15 comments

[c u p p ii e]

x

𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝
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DON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxxxCAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS
xDON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxx CAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS




"Everyone good? Let's head out!" In that moment, everyone was up and headed out the door, towards the lake just a few miles down the road. As they all dispersed, it seemed that people had managed to match up, two by two. In the front were Alex and Jackson followed shortly behind by his brother and Courtney, and then in the way back was a set of three, Bonnet, Georgia, and John. "How long were you outside for?" Quickly the young male turned his head a little bit more sternly so he could look at Alexander's eyes. It had only been once that Jackson had been around him when he had gotten himself high, but he had a lot of experience with it, due to their entire friends group having the same interest. "Either you got zero sleep or you're as high as ever right now." In that moment Alex lifted his head a little bit and then looked over to his old friend to see the expression on his face, half expecting there to worry written all over it. After the whole incident a few weeks ago, he was tired of everyone treating him this way, but lucky with Jackson it was different. Jackson was just making a slight observation and with that, a mental sigh of relief. "Both, I only slept for half hour and then went out to sm..." Just as he was about to finish his sentence, Georgia walked up to the two, cutting Alexander short. He didn't necessarily mind and would rather her do it now, then here the actual conversation that they were having. The last thing he needed was for her to know about his habit and tell Bonnet that he was at again, surely she had told her about how she had caught him the first time. So, with that in mind, he pulled his eyes from Georgia's and refocused them in front of him. "Hey, Georgia." Jackson's response was brief and you could tell by his body language that he didn't necessarily want to keep this conversation going. In no way, shape or form did he come off rude, his tone just seemed sort of uninterested and the conversation immediately died off. Some how, at some point last night, Jackson and Georgia ended up on the same couch upstairs and at a very late hour it escalated to them hooking up downstairs in Jackson's room. Overall, he was totally okay with these events. Honestly, he had found her attractive from the beginning but he always assumed that she was too uptight for a one night stand sort of situation. At first, he was proven wrong because everything seemed good. It wasn't until he woke up this morning and found her new post on social media of her in his bed with the hashtag "bey." That was the moment he had known he had made a mistake, it was just odd though because when he had first saw he actually didn't mind. In any case, it seemed that she had read him loud and clear because soon after she backed off and returned to her spot in the back with Bonnet. "Seriously? Georgia? There was a smile from ear to ear, he was fully aware just by that interaction as to what happened. He knew Jackson, and he knew that hesitation that came from their way of life. "It just happened!?" The young male grew playfully defensive, but really Alexander wasn't judging too hard. When it came down too it, every player would end up making the wrong decision; thinking with the wrong head at the wrong time. At that point, a genuine laugh, for the first time today escaped his lips, even more so at his second response. "She's a wild one though." A suggestive nudge to Alexander's shoulder, followed by a cheeky smile, only causing Alex to return the expression. The two boys were trouble, especially when they were in a pair.

The two went on continued to talk about last nights events, Jackson going into detail about how it actually happened and stopping just as the door closed to his room that night. He was just finishing up his story when the two were visited once more, this time by John. Jackson stopped short, looking over at John, before looking over at Alex due to the fact he wasn't entirely too sure. "I think we're doing burgers tonight? I don't know, I have to talk to Seb. He brought the food." It seemed that John was just about to respond when a snow ball came whizzing past his face and slammed right into the side of Alex's shoulder. "What the? His tone didn't seem urgent or annoyed, more confused than anything. Calmly all three of them turned there head to the direction it was coming from, only too see Bonnet and Georgia behind them. Did Bonnet really have the audacity to try and play games right now? The idea caused anger to rise up in his belly, but only for a short moment. "Hopefully your aim is better with snow than it is with ping pong balls." In that exact moment, just as he turned to face his brother, another snowball came hurling his way. "Oh, s**t." Instinctually, he lifted up his arm and blocked it from hitting his upper chest area before him and Jackson ran off in to separate directions to find shelter. In that moment, an all out war began and everyone followed their lead and found their own place's to hide. "

[c u p p ii e]

x

𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝
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DON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxxxCAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS
xDON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxx CAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS




For a solid half hour now, snow had been flying and the war was playing out nicely. It seemed that the two brother's mostly focused on each other, but fought back when they were struck from other directions. Jackson on the other hand was mostly focusing on the males, not wanting to be too rough since he did have an arm, but didn't hesitate to hit those who came across his line of vision. Overall, Alexander and everyone else were enjoying themselves which was nice change of pace after this mornings events. It was completely all fun and games, up until he witnessed Bonnet being directly hit in the face and her immediate surrender. Instantly everyone stopped the war, so she could get out of harms way, before they all started up again. Although not Alex, he hesitated before he picked up his next snowball. Before, his head shot off to the direction it came from, and right then he saw John's face, boy did it look as guilty as ever. After last nights events, and now this, he had half a mind to go over and punch him directly in the face. It wasn't right for him to be throwing a snowball at anyone's face, especially a female, especially Bonnet's. He about to get to his feet, ready as ever to say something, but was brought back to reality when yet another snowball distracted him. Quickly, his head snapped away from John's as his attention was now taken over by Jackson. In that moment, he was back in it and his arm was moving once more. After ducking under one last snowball, he began to produce his own again and firing.

The war was back on, although, shortly after that people began to back out one by one. At first, he only noticed John step down but that was because he had a great deal towards anger at the guy at the moment. Other than that though, he hadn't realized that it was now just the other three guys still playing; Sebastian, Jackson, and Alexander himself. In all of the chaos none of them overheard Courtney's challenge or even saw John begin to take that challenge on. Even though Jackson and Alexander were used to doing stupid stuff, this one was a bit too far. All three of them, maybe not Alex, would have definitely stopped him if they had even noticed what was going on prior. It was apparent to anyone who had eyes that the ice was still way to thin. They were in the middle of winter, but it had to be extremely cold for the ice to get at least a few inches thick for it to be capable of walking on. Colorado was cold this year, but not that cold. Immediately, things came to a halt when they heard John screaming just a few feet away. When Alexander saw that John was on the ice, he was surprised that it hadn't broken. Maybe it was thicker than they had assumed, the lake wasn't too big? [********, idiot," he mumbled under his breathe as he got to his feet and started to get closer as everyone else did. God only knew that Alex definitely wasn't going to be the person to help him, in his eyes, the p***k deserved it. Everyone watched as Georgia took charge and headed on the ice to go get him, followed by Jackson just as she began to ask for help. Ever since a young age, due to his background, he had a "no man left behind" policy so he was the first willing to help. "Help me pull him back and then I can take him from there." Unlike Georgia, he wasn't wearing snow boots or anything tractable at all on his feet. He wore regular boots, something to keep the snow out, but nothing more. He calmly looked over at Georgia, before she agreed and helped him escape from the ice, just a few minor feet back. As soon as they were off he knelt down and wrapped his arm around his waist, "Make sure all your weight is on the opposite foot so we can get you standing." Once he had compliance he took on the job himself and soon enough the two were up and going. Easily Jackson could have handled this himself, the training that the Navy had been putting him through made this out to be nothing for him, but right after Sebastian was on the other side of John helping him. From then on, the three made their way back up to the cabin with everyone following short in step behind.

It had been hours since they arrived back at the cabin and got John some ice for his ankle. Of course, once that was taken care of, the energy was back to being hostile. For the most part, it wasn't as bad as it was the previous night, but still there nonetheless. Everyone was off in pairs, as always, leaving Jackson and Alexander out on the front porch. In an effort to drown out everything that had happened today, he had grabbed a beer from the fridge before meeting Jackson out there moments ago. He had hardly eaten all day, aside from a few snacks, the last meal he had was before the had left last night to come up here. Needless to say, his stomach was nearly empty and he knew that alcohol would be hitting him hard if he didn't take it easy. Honestly though, he kind of wouldn't have minded. This was supposed to be his trip, his escape from all the screw ups the last couple of months, his gift from his brother, and it seemed that everyone was enjoying it but him. On top of that, where did he have to go and who did he have to be conscious for tonight? No where and nobody, so he was set. So as the two sat out there, Alexander continually took sips as they two males casually talked. It was mostly about how ridiculous they thought John had been for even trying it and how clumsy he had been to hurt himself so badly. Some how, that caused them to trail off about stories from high school and their "previous lives" before everything changed; Alexander being Bonnet and Jackson being Navy. Two completely different things that changed and cleaned up their lives from being two cheeky little boys running off to find the next lay. "Dude, I remember that! And that girl fro..." Just as Jackson was about to trail of into another memory, he was interrupted by Bonnet and both of their attention was now on her. Her request was that the two talk, but Alexander refused to do that here. He knew that it was going to escalate and fast, he had been fuming all day. Also, he knew how emotional Bonnet could get and he refused to let everyone in the house overhear any of it. So calmly, he suggested,
"Let's go on a walk," trying to deter any evidence of hostility from Jackson. Gently he placed his near empty bottle on the floor and grabbed her hand, leading her down the stairs and too the pathway so they could get this over with.

[c u p p ii e]

x

𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝
▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂


DON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxxxCAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS
xDON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxx CAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS




The walk hadn't been too long and honestly, Alexander was leading Bonnet aimlessly because he was too lost in his thoughts to really pay attention. Luckily, he knew he'd be able to get them back though if he really tried due to the fact that he had been exploring this area since a young age. Which, now thinking about it, probably wasn't going to be the most comfortable thing, coming back. Who knew if they'd be good again by then? He wanted to make things better, but how at this point? Throughout the walk, they had been fairly quiet, neither of them ready to talk. Honestly, he was kind of surprised how calm Bonnet stayed and how patient she was during this entire thing. Did she really think things were okay right now? Obviously, by now, she was aware that the had accidentally read her text so why was she not defending herself? She was sleeping with another guy, 4,400 miles away while he waited for her to come back to him to. He was good, he hung out with Kaidence but not once did he sleep with her. He went to parties, not one girl did he hook up with. He refused to cheat because of how much he cared about her, but why wasn't it the same for her? Yet again, why wasn't he good enough for a girl he truly cared about?? These thoughts, in addition to her attitude caused him to start fuming once more and by the time she finally spoke up, he was absolutely cross. "What do you mean why are we out here?" Immediately his voice rose, high over the octave he wanted it too and in that moment, he knew he had made the right decision to have this conversation out here. "I waited for you. I ******** waited for months." For some reason he couldn't get the words to come out, as if saying it made it all to real. He was so sure of what was going on in Paris, but he couldn't get himself to actually accuse her of the exact thing. All it did was bring memories of how he felt when he had caught Asher and his girlfriend four years prior. A memory he so desperately tried to lock away and never bring up again, the reason why he refused to be friends with Asher again. "I'm done. I can't wait around for you anymore. It's over." His arms were fairly animated throughout his entire spiel, but finally did he raise his hands up in surrender. When they first walked out here, he had no intention on breaking up with her, it just sort of flew out of his mouth. It just felt right at the time, because it felt like she had no intention on making things right to him. As the words flew out of his mouth, he watched her step away from him and it felt like there was a string attached to his heart, because in that moment he felt a tug. Was he making the wrong decision, was he over reacting? When she responded, he knew he wasn't and so he let the next statement fly. "Should have thought about that before you started ******** that Irish p***k, behind my back!" There it was, there was the accusation! His eyes followed at she ran away and out of sight. All he could think was it was so like her to run away from her problems and so instead of going after her, he turned his back and headed towards the cabin.

It took a little bit of thought but he had made it back in a solid ten minutes or so. Calmly, he walked up the steps to see that Jackson had hardly moved since he had left, so he took his previous seat. Alexander reached down to his feet and chugged the remaining bit of liquid that was leftover from when he left just as Jackson spoke up. "Everything good with you?" Well, apparently, Alexander hadn't seemed to be as calm as he tried to be because Jackson saw right through it. Maybe it was because of how aggressively he slammed back the bottle. In any case, Alexander nodded his head and claimed that everything was good. "Sooo, where's Bonnet then?" Alex was being short with his answers and this time he didn't say anything at all, instead a simple shrug. Why did he even care? Was she screwing him too? The cold thought passed through his mind quickly, he knew he was just angry so he didn't dwell on the idea for too long. "She didn't want to come back up with me." Immediately, something changed in Jackson because he sat up a bit more. The young male had went from normal teenage to navy recruit in two point five seconds. He was thinking about something and it wasn't until he asked if she knew the way back did everything begin to click in Alex's head. His eyes were locked in front of him, starring at nothing in particular, but in that moment his eyes rose to Jackson's because he hadn't even thought about it when she ran off. "No. She doesn't." That was enough for the both to get on there feet and run walk inside to alert everyone else. He didn't feel extremely panicked, blinded by the anger of what she had put him through, but more so guilt than anything else. "Guys, Bonnet walked off on her own. It's been a while since she's been back." A lie, that Alexander had definitely noticed because as Jackson said it, he couldn't take his eyes off of him. Always a good friend, always by his side, something that Asher used to be. Throughout all of this, throughout all of this commotion, Alexander stayed quiet, stuck in his own head. "We're even now, so we'll search in parties of two." At first, Sebastian said that he would go with Alex, assuming that Alex would need him through this time, when it was quite the opposite. Although, Jackson shook his head and stepped in, "You and Alex know the area the best so you guys need to split up and lead." There was no questions asked, Sebastian didn't see through the lie at all because honestly, it was logical. So in the end, two by two they went. John and Georgia, Georgia had military experience, through her mother, so they assume that she could take care of herself. Then Sebastian and Court, the dynamic duo. Then the last two out the door, Jackson and Alexander.

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxB E N T L E Y J A C O B H A L E

❝ I'm so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground,
just enough to get my feet wet

but not enough to let me drown
I've been laying in my bed, wishing I had never woken

broke my knuckles on the wall ❞




ａｕｇｕｓｔ ３１ｓｔ ２０１６




There was instant relief when as Diane began shuffling all of the children into the next room, because honestly, he didn't know how much more he could take. Overall, he wasn't a very patient person and having nearly half a dozen screaming children be in the surrounding area was nearly starting to drive him nuts. So much so to the point where he almost missed Diane's signal to go out and retrieve the bike for his brother. When he noticed her wink at him, he stared blankly for a short moment before things finally clicked and he turned on his heel, away from everyone else. Calmly, he made his way down the steps and grabbed the gift and, as quietly as he possibly could, drug it into the house with him. Bentley had no intensions of causing a big scene, he was actually feeling kind of shy over the whole thing, especially after the who thing that happened between them weeks ago. In no way did he regret anything he said, he truly mean't every word and how he felt towards his brother, but there was apparent tension. Even more so now that he could tell that Aaron was aware that he and Diane were actually doing good for the time being. In any case, over the roar of the children, he finally spoke. "I figured it'd be nice to not have to walk here for once." As soon as the statement left his lips, Aaron was closing the distance and shortly after had his arms wrap around him. With zero hesitation, Bentley's body froze in it's entirety, this was weird for him. He couldn't remember the last time the two had actually hugged or embraced or even had a conversation that didn't end up in an argument as of late. Although, he let it go and placed one arm around his brother in order to try and reciprocate in the slightest. As his cheeks grew a slight shade of red, for once, he was happy that the little brats began to chatter once more. The attention was now off of him so he that was his queue to slink back into the background.

First there were gifts and then there was cake, and at that point he knew that there was no obligation to be in the room anymore; Bentley, the anti-social. So with that, as everyone was passed out a piece, he withdrew into the living room and kind of leaned on one of the walls. His eyes kind of floated, starring at nothing in particular, up until he felt a short buzz in his pocket. Quickly he looked down and pulled out the device to see yet another message from his business partner, Jaime. He now had a deadline to his pick up, two weeks. As he was about to shoot him a text back, Aaron came walking up with a piece of cake and extended it too him. Politely he took it, but really he had no intentions of eating it. Honestly, he hadn't had much an appetite as of late and as of late, I mean the last six months or so. Bentley generally wore loose clothing, which was lucky for him because it would have definitely been apparent otherwise. It was surprising that Diane hadn't commented on it a few weeks ago when they had slept together. At this point, his ribs were nearly popping out of his sides and his chest was becoming slight concave. Destructive behavior that he was purposely doing before his treatments, but now it was mindless. In any case, he was about to thank his brother when Aaron continued. Immediately, his shoulders squared and his body tensed back up. Who was he to comment on his happiness? He was finally doing okay, no thanks to him. Which had him thinking, where had he been the last couple of weeks? It wasn't like Aaron to be gone for so long, it was especially odd after seeing him around almost everyday while Diane was pregnant. Now that his niece was born did it not matter any more? These question's floated on in his head as he responded, "Yeah, you miss a lot when you disappear for weeks." At that point he plopped the paper plate down on the table that stood next to them before looking Aaron straight in the eye. Peace offering, gone.

Dark blue eyes, glaring into lighter ones with nothing but hostility at this point. He wasn't exactly mad, his temper had noticeably decreased since he had been on his meds, but still he was extremely annoyed. It seemed that Aaron was finally about to say something in return when Cherise pulled the attention towards her, thus making Bentley further irritated. Any time he heard that girls voice, it brought out a frustration in him like no other. She was literally the only female that spoke to him that he couldn't stand speaking, no matter what the situation. Bentley watched as Diane shuffled all of the children outside and then followed up by her cousin's rant. Yeah, they were back together, it was unspoken, but clear that it was what they both wanted, for right now anyway. Quickly he took a breathe, trying to keep calm to what ever stupid little announcement that she had, but to his surprise, it wasn't so little after all. At first, he thought it was going to be her shaming the two for being together, but quickly that took a turn. The mention of marijuana had his body freeze all over the place, he had thought that she figured out what Diane had just a few weeks prior, his business. Although, instead, it was just a claim on somebody smoking it and so all worry left his body. Bentley was literally seconds away from claiming responsibility when Diane opened her mouth before him. His head shot over to her and all he could do was question it, [darkred]"What the hell is she doing?" He didn't mind if people knew that it was him, he was an adult and could do as he pleased. Yes, they were in a house full of children but he was very careful about how he went about things. Who was she to speak freely of something she had no concept of? The idea of this, caused his blood to boil a little bit. There it was, the step over the line from irritation to slight anger. It was weird, being angry after being fairly level headed over the last few weeks. "Cherise, I don't see any harm in that." Bentley's head shot over to his statement, seriously? He was really going to be that calm about this whole thing? I guess that was his brother for him, always the least judgement except when it came to him.

The argument, or lack there of, came and went and soon enough the whole thing had blown over. Not for Bentley though, he felt like he needed some air. He had been doing so well and now he wasn't feeling exactly right, so he wanted to clear his mind before it got worse. As soon as it was done, he silently excused himself and sat on the porch swing. Back and fourth he went up until Aaron stepped in front of him, causing him to calmly halt. His eyes met his brother as he spoke, "So when did you pick up smoking marijuana?" His voice was even but not enough to keep Bentley calm, because at this point his temper had shot back up to where it had been when he removed himself from the house. There it was, the judgement, specially reserved for him and him only. "I turned the other way when it was cigarettes, but really Bentley? What the ********] A fire burning underneath him, as if the bench was too hot for him he got too his feet and stepped up to his older brother. Enough was enough, he had been absent for weeks now and absent in his emotional struggles for even longer. Who was he to have a say anymore? "Almost a year now, but I've actually stopped. You'd know that if you'd been around." Quickly he moved around his brother, ready to walk off. He didn't want to be around him any more, anyone for that matter. Deep, deep, down inside of him he felt the darkness rattling around inside of his head. They were fighting to escape, beyond angry that they had to be silenced for so long. Bentley knew that he had to leave now before they could get that far, so he kept walking. "I've been busy." The desperation in Aaron's voice rang clear in his ears and nearly stopped him in his tracks. Why, why now? For the first time, in a long time, Aaron was realizing another change in Bentley and he was too busy off with his girlfriend to realize it. Overall, he wasn't sure what kind of change it was exactly, but something was happening with him and he had no idea what it was. "Yeah, me too," he called over his shoulder, this time a little more calmly.

When the young male made his way back up the stairs to the Orphanage, a solid two hours had passed since he had left. At first, he had no idea where he was going, he just needed to go, but his body took him to the park. It seemed that when he was mindless, that was his go to. In any case, as he opened up the door, a few eyes settled on him but no one dared speak to him. He felt Aaron's eyes cling for a short moment, but nothing. There was no further action other than that so he headed into the kitchen so he could be at the party, without actually being "at the party." Bentley wanted nothing more than to be alone, but deep down inside he was more afraid of the darkness so he made the unconscious decision to stick around. For the remainder of the evening he floated and tried to stay calm in all of the birthday chaos. Bentley was successful for the most part due to the fact that he was left alone. He was fairly surprised that Diane hadn't tried to console him or figure out what happened or even speak about anything that happened, but he assumed that she was to busy being mom of the house. As the clock inched towards ten in the evening, he watched his brother get to his feet and start saying his goodbyes. He truly thought that his older brother wasn't going to say anything to him as he left but as he reached for the door, they made eye contact. "Thanks again, Bentley." Yet again, another peace offering but that wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want a stupid peace offering, he wanted his brother back. He wanted someone to understand him again, with no strings attached. So instead of saying anything in return he gave him a slight nod and watched him walk off and that was the end of it. There was nothing left holding him down here and it had been a long enough day for him to finally be able to fall asleep. In what word was sleep suddenly better for him? This medication was truly messing with his body. As anxiety seeped into his body, he calmly made his way up to his room and shut the door behind him.



❝ I am broken, I am beaten,
I am mistreated and I am torn

and I am cold with no direction
but I am lost without your warmth ❞

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxB e n t l e y J a c o b H a l e

❝ I'm so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground,
just enough to get my feet wet

but not enough to let me drown
I've been laying in my bed, wishing I had never woken

broke my knuckles on the wall ❞




As soon as he heard the door click shut behind him he pulled off the cap on his head and wiped his face with his free hand. A small disgruntled groan escaped his lips due to the frustration of today and the slight set back it had caused him. Bentley tried to stay calm but he definitely felt the anxiety creeping up his chest and beginning to try to smoother him. Quickly he unzipped his jacket and threw it on his bed before pulling at the collar of the remaining sweater that was left on him. As if, in doing all of that physically, could cause the squeezing sensation going on inside of him to stop. Although, it wasn't enough, his hand traveled down the neckline and down to the hem, he was just about to pull it clean over his head when he had heard the doorknob turn once more. Instantly, his head snapped over, not expecting any visitors. When he removed himself from the room, he had thought had made a clean break from everyone. "Yeah? The way it came out was a little more panicked than he would have liked it to be but quickly he gained his composure. His eyes followed as she walked across the room, not saying a single thing, and straight into his bed. Immediately he knew that something was weird with her, it was apparent to him that she was refusing to look at him. He assumed that she didn't want him to see her bit her lip since that was her dead give of hiding something from him, but what was it? What was she hiding, he couldn't quite put his finger on it to be honest. For what ever reason, probably the lack of control he had at the moment, this bothered him. His confused state went from calm to angry in point five seconds. Why did she have to hide things from him too? Bentley wasn't the most open person to be fair, but this closure happened gradually due to the other people. He was frustrated and tired and anxious and just seeing Diane in his bed made him want to kick her out. There was no denying that he was going to have nightmares tonight, especially without her, but he was willing to risk it. "I don't need your approval." He stopped looking at her and walked over to his closet so he could put his hat away, but he keep his distance. She was planted in the one place that he wanted to be, so this was where he was going to have to stay for the time being. "If you actually ******** talked to me, you'd know that I've stopped." Ever since he had started his treatments he hadn't really had the desire or need to smoke at all. When he was hurting before, this was his escape, his way to numb the pain, but now he had a bottle of pills to help with that. There was absolutely no need! "Maybe it's stuck to my clothes, I don't know, but whatever Cherise was smelling it's not recent." As smoke would cling to you after a bonfire, marijuana was the same way if you did it enough. Although, he knew that wasn't the case for him, he knew that the stench was probably due to all of his recent trips to Jaime's house. From the moment you walked into the near mansion the smell poured out. "It's been weeks, also the amount of time since I've done laundry." His tone wasn't exactly mean, his meds keeping him from reaching that point, but it wasn't nice either. It was even, emotionless. He was over her accusations as much as he was Aaron and Cherise's. Three opinionated people on a subject they had no concept or sense of direction of? Honestly, why was he explaining himself to her?

A few minutes of silence filled the air, if she had nothing left to say then he was now going to ask her to remove herself from his room. Bentley just began to open his mouth when Diane's confession flew out at him. The words hit him, hard, and began ringing in his ears, just like in his dream nearly a month ago. Although, this time, instead of an actual train, it was just a wave of emotions. "What?" ,he finally managed to get himself to say. The way she had said it, with such desperation, he knew that she wasn't just talking about losing him emotionally. She didn't mean that should wouldn't be okay with them breaking up, she mean't lose him, physically and mentally. In the past fourteen years he had been looking out for himself for the most part, which caused him to live a very selfish life. He never had to live for anyone else, so he never really thought about how it would feel if he really did just off himself as he's tried. For the first time, there was Diane, telling him that it would matter. It would matter if he just disappeared all together, never to look back or come back. For the first time, it finally felt like she needed him as much as he secretly needed her. So, with that, he let out a small sigh and closed the distance between them. Calmly he sat on the bed and moved her into his lap and brushed the hair away from her face. "We made a deal three weeks ago. If you're there, I'm there." A soft and tiresome kiss was placed on her lips, but as he pulled away he tasted something bitter. When Bentley's eyes met hers, he knew that something was off but he was too tired to question it. It had been an emotional day for him and with much effort, he had finally won. For once, the pangs of hurt subsided on their own and he was left feeling tired. So with that he leaned down and kissed her neck quickly before sliding down and laying them gently on the bed together. Calmly, and reassuringly, he tightly wrapped his arms around her waist, secretly afraid to let go.

gift.


❝ I am broken, I am beaten,
I am mistreated and I am torn

and I am cold with no direction
but I am lost without your warmth ❞

[c u p p ii e]

x

𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝
▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂


DON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxxxCAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS
xDON'T MIND MY NERVE, YOU CAN CALL IT FICTIONxxxxxxxxxx CAUSE I LIKE BEING SUBMERGED IN YOUR CONTRADICTIONS




When they left the cabin in pairs they all went off in separate directions in order to cover more ground, although, they never strayed too far from one another. The last thing they needed was to lose track of someone in the process of trying to find the other. In any case, the searched high and low, all over the area, as the sun proceeded to go down. The further the sky slipped into darkness, the more Alex grew from angry to worried. He began questioning himself, "How could I let her run off like that?" Honestly, he was beyond upset at the time but no argument was worth dying over and at this rate, at these freezing temperatures, he knew that it was possible. As he walked with Jackson the two were fairly quiet, Alex was stuck in his head and Jackson knew not to press on with something like this. The most that was really said was when Jackson questioned their whereabouts when the two split up earlier since he assumed that Bonnet probably hadn't run off very far from that point. "We were at the bottom of the summit." If the two would have been on better terms, Alex probably would have eventually brought her up there to show her the view that it had made capable. At the very top you could see for miles around, all the green and wonderful things Colorado had to offer; It truly was a sight to see. "Summit? Let's go, we might be able to see her if we reach higher ground." The both of knew it was a long shot, it was dark, they probably wouldn't be able to see much of anything, but they were running out of time. So Jackson shared his plan with the rest of the group and they all headed over there to begin searching the area.

At the very top stood Alexander and Jackson, there eyes scanned as far out as there body physically allowed them too. Although, as they both assumed, it wasn't much of anything aside from darkness. You could only see mostly trees and the occasional animal, in the snow that continued to fall. At the very bottom, the rest of them searched the surrounding areas in hopes of finding Bonnet. In the silence that fell around them Alexander looked up to the sky and the stars and silently wished that the white powder would stop but luck usually wasn't his thing. Luck had never been his thing, he actually felt quite unlucky, and anything in his entire life he had to work for; his reputation, his spot at CSU, his relationship with Bonnet. All things that were more and more of a constant emotional struggle. A small sigh left his lips at the mere thought of having lost two of those three things and nearly all three with his little overdose stunt that he had pulled just a month ago. Jackson noticed and he was just about to say something when he heard Courtney's voice faintly reach them at the top. Immediately Alexander snapped out of it and met Jackson's gaze before they hustled backed down the hill and where the group had huddled. As they walked up to the five of them, they were all huddled around Bonnet at this point so Alex couldn't get a clear view of her. It wasn't until they got her to stand up and he saw her weakened state did his heart fall into his stomach. The guilt that had built up during the search had amplified and all he wanted to do was hug her and kiss her and keep her safe, but his body was frozen in it's place. When Bonnet's eyes finally met him, the two of them looked away simultaneously, neither ready to face the repercussion's of today. As he heard the bite of Georgia's words he nearly wanted to shout at her, but she had a point. Everything that happened, wasn't worth any of this. So overall, instead of helping, instead of continuing their argument, instead of making anything worse, Jackson stayed by his side and the two walked home silently behind everyone else on their way back up.

It had been a solid half hour since they had all arrived back in the cabin and since then an intense sense of quite made it's way into the room. It seemed that nobody really knew how to react to today's events because honestly, things could have gone a whole lot worse. Everyone was mostly off on their own or in small groups making light conversation. Jackson had finally left Alex's side and it was taken over by Sebastian. "Care to share what really happened today?" As the snow fell around them Alexander's eyes finally met his brother's. How was he to admit that Bonnet almost could have frozen over because they had a stupid immature argument? That, due to everything that had happened to him with all of his relationships, romantic or not, had lead him to blow up on Bonnet. "I said some stuff and then I broke it off with her." There was a whole lot of skepticism in his older brothers eyes due to the vagueness of the word "stuff," although he accepted it and they moved on. There was slight reassurance when his brother nodded his head and Alexander was kind of thankful for that. The last thing he wanted to do was relive what happened earlier today because the guilt was already too much for him and Sebastian absolutely noticed it. "Look, you don't have to go up and there and make up, but you should at least go in there and talk to her," he said as he leaned forward and made direct eye contact with his brother. In that move, Alexander finally met his brother's eyes and felt a sense of calm, one that he always provided in all the chaos of his life. "I know if you don't then what ever's going on up there, is going to eat you up inside." As soon as he said the word "there" he pointed to his little brother's head before he gave him a reassuring smile. He knew him better than anyway, and he was nothing but right. A few moments had passed and Alexander looked away and into the vast darkness before them. Finally he nodded his head and pulled his hands out of his pockets before getting himself up and heading inside.

As soon as he stepped through the threshold he felt as if every person's eye's were on him, but he knew, or at least hopped, that he was being just paranoid. Courtney and Georgia, he could only assume were extremely upset with him, but he really didn't need their judgement right now. So as calmly as possible, he walked through the little living area that was provided and up the stairs towards his and Bonnet's shared room. Alexander stood on the other side of the door and stopped, wondering if he should knock or not, before grabbing the handle and just walking right inside. He slowly walked inside of the room due to the fact that he was unsure if she had already fallen asleep or not, the girl had, had a very long day. Although, he was reassured that she was still awake or at least woken up by his entrance, when she lifted her head a little bit. Once he was sure he walked over to his side of the bed, and then sat down with his back facing her. "How are you feeling?" For the most part he had mean't physically, he had hoped that she was finally feeling safe and warm once more, but the other part of him was questioning her emotionally. During their little walk he had blown up on her and hardly gave her a chance to express that to him, which is one of the reason's why he felt so heavily about everything that happened. Alexander hardly had a temper, he had no reason too, but when it came to cheating he was an absolute mess due to his past. In any case, when she had finally responded he nodded her head before silence began to fill the air once more. He wasn't sure where to start, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to fix something like this, but after a moment he had started off with the only thing that had been floating in his head since she had gotten lost. "Look, Bandit, I'm sorry." His eyes were focused outside on the snow, that now looked like it was letting up, but once the apology left his lips he moved his leg onto the bed and turned his body so he was facing her. Alexander's soft brown eyes met her blue one's before he found the courage to continue on. "You of all people know that I'm not like this usually." He looked down at his hands, breaking eye contact, suddenly beginning to feel nervous. It had been a long time since he had spoken about what happened to him freshman year, the year that he had began to have problems and change for the worse. "I can't form relationships without automatically assuming the worst, Asher took that away from me." The two of them had gone to the same school since they were little so assumable she remembered him, but if not it was hardly an issue. Overall, in no way was he trying to make up excuses for himself, he knew what he did was wrong, he just wanted her to know that he wasn't off the wall or acting out for no reason. "I've been cheated on and I've been lied too and I've been deceived, and damn did it hurt me." He decided not to go into specifics, she didn't need to know who the girl was or about the fall out with him and Asher. Alexander assumed that with that bit of information he had given her, it was enough to piece together the big picture; Bonnet was a smart girl. Finally, he looked back over at her and paused again before he asked, "So I need to know, did you sleep with Peter?" The two had spent so much time with each other in Paris, so much so that he felt like she never had time for him any more. He felt abandoned and broken by her, and he knew if that was the case, if she had done this to him, he was sure to that he was going to have a setback. He was going to go back to being that little boy who would hide their feelings by mindless sleeping with women in order to have some control of his life. "Bandit, please don't lie to me. If you do and I find out later, it'll hurt so much more." The plea was dead set in his eyes. She may not know the full extent of why he was the way he was in this particular department fully, but he felt like the sound of desperation in his voice was enough. "You're the first person that makes me feel like who I was back then." In the last four years he had done so much hiding, so much effort to hide that fact that he has issues committing and making genuine connections with people. Alexander was charming, but none of that matter when it was all an act to hide who he truly was. Bonnet was his salvation from all of that, she was saving him and bringing him back home to his younger self.

[c u p p ii e]

jackjack down the mountain and then back out to sea

♡ xxxx ↪ xxxx ✉ xxxx ⟳ xxxxxxxx ☖

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jackjack down the mountain and then back out to sea

♡ xxxx ↪ xxxx ✉ xxxx ⟳ xxxxxxxx ☖

liked by sebbie, a.rockwell and 42 others

4 comments

[c u p p ii e]

a.rockwell summit.

♡ xxxx ↪ xxxx ✉ xxxx ⟳ xxxxxxxx ☖

liked by jackjack, sebbie, and 62 others

3 comments

[c u p p ii e]

peter collin o'reilly @peterisainmdom




❝ happy new year, lads!!!! here's to the future, cheers. ❞


xxxxx ♡ xxxxx ↪xxxxx ✉ xxxxx ⟳


liked by @jackjack and 8 others