c u p p ii e ' s ❥ t e s t i n g

visitors.

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[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxB E N T L E Y JACOB HALE

❝ I'm so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground,
just enough to get my feet wet

but not enough to let me drown
I've been laying in my bed, wishing I had never woken

broke my knuckles on the wall ❞



Two by two he took the steps doing the stairs in a huge hurry and continued to speedily make his way down the stairs. As he walked out of the Orphanage he nonchalantly looked around to make sure he wasn't being followed. When he was sure he headed out towards the city of Colorado, a sure half hour walk and he felt his phone continuously blow up in his pocket. At this point, he knew it was better if he didn't answer because he'd be there shortly. After the walk he had finally reached his destination, an extravagant looking house on the side of town that his parents lived. Gently he knocked on the door and slid his hands in his pockets before the door was abruptly opened. "You're ******** late, dude." There he stood, his old childhood friend, Jaime Anderson. When he was really little, his mom would set him on play dates with him all the time. While Bentley went to go live his parents for a little while they had run into each other on the streets and rekindled their friendship. Initially, Bentley hardly recognized the guy but Jaime some how recognized him. Apparently he looked the same and who was Bentley to argue? It's not like he's ever really seen any photos of his younger self. After talking for a moment it had all come back to him, even things with his dad that he had successfully shut out. They would play for hours as a little kid, but slowly that stopped when James realized what was going on. He didn't approve of "unwanted guests" inside of the house, but that didn't make too much sense when Aaron constantly had people over. In any case, the two started to hang out here and there and that's when Bentley was introduced to marijuana. From the first time he tried and he felt the numb sense that it gave him, he knew, this was his new gateway. It was a way of combating his anger and bottling up his depression which was absolutely what he needed right now. "I had to take care of some stuff early this morning, lost track of time." Finally he nodded his head and slid through the door before gently shutting it behind him. Jaime took a seat on the couch as he picked up a joint from the ash track and took a long drag off of it. Bentley was immediately offered so he grabbed it on his way down to the couch and took his own hit off it. "Alright, here." The young male handed over a huge sack of marijuana and Bentley took a hold of it. His eyes glazed over the stuff and he gently mushed his hands through it, trying to look at the quality of the stuff he had been given. Of course it was good, it was coming from a wealthy kid on the north side of town. "I need it gone in ten days. You did good with that last set I gave you." Bentley nodded and agreed, this was how things were now. Just like anyone else, as soon as he and Jaime got close things began to take a turn. It wasn't necessarily for the worst, but it was definitely not acceptable in the least. The two were still friends, but mostly in the sense that he would come over and smoke a little pot from time to time. Above all else, they were business partners. One night, Jaime had this wild idea of starting up his business to earn some fast cash, the kid had a nasty coke addiction but that was none of his business. The kid needed a runner due to the fact that he couldn't afford to get caught. How was he to explain to his parents what he was doing and more importantly why he was doing it? So who knew the streets of Colorado better than anyone else? Bentley himself. At first he was a little unsure, the danger aspect didn't bother him, it was the fact that he had to work under someone else. He was one of the least likely people to follow direction, ask anyone. Although, It was right around the time Diane announced she was having Scout and that's when he knew he was under obligation to do it. Jaime told him he was going to make a whole lot of money through this and Bentley was willing to do what ever it took to make sure his daughter was comfortable and happy. The orphanage a lotted them so much money but he knew it would never be enough. Finally after a little back and fourth, and a little more smoking, Bentley grabbed the bag and slid it into his jacket pocket. It was quiet obvious but with a little effort he was able to hide it. "Later, Jaime," and with that he was on his way.

It was no time before he made it back, but instead of going directly inside he decided to go through the woods first. Every time he did his pick up he refused to bring it into the house, it was far to risky due to the many factors. Diane, Cherise, Aaron, the children, all far too messy. Bentley found the usual tree and stashed into the hollowed out end that he had made when he first started this several months ago. Once he was through he rounded out and headed back inside just in time to hear the piano going. He nearly stopped in his tracks, he knew that kind of playing because it was much similar to his own. No matter what there was always a sad underlying tone that was heard in any piece that they preformed and he could pin point in a sea of other pianists. For a short moment he stood there, in the doorway and out of sight, just listening. Although, as soon as he sang the lines, "Oh God, I miss you too. It's all I ever do. I'm coming back to you, and I won't let go again," he nearly felt sick to his stomach. In his stoned state, he grew to be paranoid and his mind began to race. His paranoia was getting the best of him and that wasn't good, it hadn't happened in such a long time. What impression was she under after they had slept together last night? Did she think they were back together? He shook his head, he couldn't have that right now. He couldn't be close to Diane right now, and it was wrong of him to use her as he did. At that point he walked passed her and up the stairs to his room because he needed to get a way. Bentley immediately went to go sit on his bed and as he did he ran his hands through his hair. He inhaled a deep breathe and that's when he noticed the stench that covered his body. After sitting in a room smoking for over a half hour the smell had stuck and he knew at that point he needed to take a shower. Calmly he pulled his phone out of his front pocket and tossed it on his bed side table, as it was this morning, before pulling of his sweater. He then continued to kick of his shoes before he walked across the hall and into the bathroom to be alone.

While he was away his phone began to blow up once more, all of the messages from Jaime. Why couldn't the kid just send everything in one?

from: jaime
my parents are coming back from europe a
week earlier than expected so plans changed.

From: Jaime
i have a huge stash of pot at my house and it
needs to be moved. i'll give you double if you
come over and pick it up to keep it at yours.

From: Jaime
ten days for the first amount to be sold still
and i'll give you direction on the rest when i
figure something out.




❝ I am broken, I am beaten,
I am mistreated and I am torn

and I am cold with no direction
but I am lost without your warmth ❞

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxB e n t l e y J a c o b H a l e

❝ I'm so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground,
just enough to get my feet wet

but not enough to let me drown
I've been laying in my bed, wishing I had never woken

broke my knuckles on the wall ❞



From the moment that Diane bit her lip he knew that something was wrong, it was her give and he had known that for a long time now. Part of him loved it strongly because he thought it was so cute when she would begin to pout. The high and mighty Diane pouting, that was always fun to watch. Above all else though, especially now a days, mostly it annoyed him to no end because of what it meant. There was something on her mind that she wasn't telling him, she was either hiding something or trying to keep her mouth shut. Presumably, after the events of today, it was the latter but he wasn't going to push it right now. She was keeping quiet and on her way out and that's exactly what he wanted. Bentley was far too emotionally exhausted to sit here and go back and fourth right now, especially with Scout being just a few feet in front of him. So as soon as she said goodnight he felt a huge weight off of his shoulders. "Night." He watched as she walked out of the room with their child in hand before he let out a small sigh. Slowly he took in a deep breathe before he turned off the beside lamp that was illuminating his room and laid back down as he was before. Instantly he closed his eyes and expected to fall asleep, but just as before he was restless. He could hear noises and flashes of today going through his head and it was unsettling. The weight that had just left his shoulders moments ago was back and heavier than ever. This time it was different though, he wasn't angry, he was sad. He didn't understand what he was doing anymore and he was tired, apparently not physically but beyond mentality. With out even thinking he grabbed at his blankets and pulled them up to his chest and over his shoulders, looking for some sort of security. Instead of closing his eyes once more he began to stare at the wall across the room. He assumed that if he looked at it long enough his mind would go blank, and it after a few hours.

When he had gotten home a few hours ago it was two a.m. and as he opened his eyes now and looked at the clock it was six a.m. Overall he had managed to get about two hours of sleep which was good enough, he was happy to of slept at all. Just as he began to look out the window and see the sun beginning to peak over the trees of the forest that stood on the outskirts of the Orphanage, he heard a small cooing coming from down the hall. His head shot over to his door and waited a few moments before he finally decided to get up and go check it out. Slowly and gently, afraid he would wake Diane up, he walked into her room and over to the side of Scouts crib. There she was was, gummy grin and all, with her hands in the air as if she was begging for him to pick her up. He looked down at her and into those giant big blue eyes and it was as if she was telling him it was okay. With a deep breathe he knew, it was time. Ever so cautiously he bent in and wrapped her up in the curves of his arms, the way that he had watched Diane do to all of the small children here over the years. Instantly Scout grabbed at finger and he watched as her eyes slowly began to flutter back to a close. "Scout..." He felt his cheeks become extremely hot as they did when he became flustered. Everything that he was feeling was so overwhelming, but for the first time in a long time, it was good sense of overwhelming. "I know I'm not perfect but you are and you're everything to me." Aside from Diane being the one good thing to happen to him, Scout was the next. All of his worries about his dad and childhood and every other bad thing vanished. Suddenly, he felt like he could do this, he could be a dad. "I love you." Bentley leaned in and kissed the baby on her forehead and when he pulled away, it was no longer Scout in his arms. Everything had shifted, and with what he was starring down at now was more than he could handle. Diane's lifeless and limp body laid there now and all he could manage was a very quiet, "No." He shook her body as the anger welled up in him. "Diane, wake up. You've got to wake up." At that point he was hysterical and pulled her in closer to his body and began to cry heavily. "I can't do this, I can't. No." He wasn't making much sense and that's when he heard another voice. "Get up, Ben. Quit ******** crying." Immediately his head shot up and the scenery had changed. He was no longer in the Orphanage but instead, his childhood home. Before him stood his dad and Diane was suddenly gone. He got to his feet and his head moved around frantically as if she would still be around nearby, but before he could do much looking he felt a heavy hand to his face. As he stumbled back and held his cheek, James continued, "You never became the man you needed to be. Always a disappointment with you. Always so useless." At that point he felt another punch, but this time to his stomach. After seeing Diane in that state he moved right past denial and straight to anger. Immediately he rushed over to James, so ready to tackle him and strike him back but that's when things shifted again. Instead of running into his dad he ran straight into a tree, one that looked so familiar, one that he had visited earlier in that day. Bentley grew to be scared, he didn't want to be back here. Frantically he backed up from it and onto the train tracks. Once his feet hit the railing they felt like they were glued, he was stuck and he couldn't moved. Tossing and turning, trying to be free, trying to run, trying to get away, he began to hear the roar of the train engine inching closer. His head snapped up to see his mom, Aaron, Diane, and Scout all huddled in a tight group out of ways harm. Everyone he loved, every there watch him go. "This is what you wanted. This is what you've been running from. You're done." He watched as his dad came strolling up to his family with his arms crossed over his chest. Throughout the entire thing, his eyes stayed glued to Diane's as the train's light shined on his body, he wanted her to be the last thing he ever saw. Just as he could see her mouthing the words, "I love you" the train came crashing in...

It was a good thing his door was closed because at this point, Bentley was screaming in pain continuously. He began to toss and turn in his bed and couldn't get himself to wake up. Although, as soon as he heard the door open, as soon as he felt Diane's presence, he shot up in his bed with the widest of eyes. Quickly he grabbed at the blankets that had fell and his eyes meet over to hers. Rightfully so, she began to defend herself because any other time he would have told her to simply get out. He didn't want anyone to see him like this but, after what he had seen, he was to distraught to even care. "I...I don't." Surely, he was trying to get his thoughts together and calm his breathing. Was this another dream? The nightmare he just had started exactly like this and he absolutely knew that he couldn't withstand having another. Once she spoke again and she gave him a smile his breathing was becoming less erratic. He wasn't sure how he knew, but just in that smile, he was sure that he was awake. When she continued and asked if it was bad time he slowly shook his head unknowingly. It was a bad time, and extremely bad time, his nightmare had him winded, but it all honesty he couldn't get himself to say otherwise. "I'm fine." That was a lie and he knew it, hell, she probably knew it too or else she wouldn't have swallowed her pride and made her way inside of his room. Presumably she was about to take her leave and with that it slipped out, "Diane, sleep with me tonight." There was in no way he mean't it in a sexual way, he just wanted her there. Bentley knew that her presence alone would put him at ease. All walls were officially down and this was a side she hadn't seen of him in a very long time. The compassionate and vulnerable side, the less angry one. The one that showed him as an actual person and not the monster he had become. The silence began to fill the air just as his cheek grew to be red, he was flustered again. He couldn't believe what he had just asked of her and he wanted to take it back but it was too late. The young male was going to stand his ground and let what ever come, come.









❝ I am broken, I am beaten,
I am mistreated and I am torn

and I am cold with no direction
but I am lost without your warmth ❞

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

Aᴀʀᴏɴ Cʜʀɪsᴛᴏᴘʜᴇʀ Hᴀʟᴇ
♫♪ You've had your own mountains to climb and I've got skeletons I hide
In the back of my mind where I question myself. I dwell on the past just like
everyone else. Don't bear the weight of the world on your shoulders. It's not
too heavy. I'll break my back so you can feel like someone's on your side. ♫♪

How could one boy be so troubled? How could one brother be so calm and the other such a problem case? Aaron knew that it had something to do with how they were raised, his dad being a monster and his mom such a saint. Although, a saint wouldn't let their husband physically abuse there own child for reasons that Aaron would never understand. As much as Aaron pretended that he had answers to everything and anything, he didn't. Especially, if it had something to do with his home life. Like why did Naomi let James beat Bentley all the time? This was sweet little Bentley who had stars in his eyes and innocence still left in his heart. What in life happened to James to make him turn his back on his family like that? He hadn't alway been like that because Aaron had never been treated like that. At a young age, as no child should, he saw and watched a his dad grew into something gruesome. What changed? What in Bentley brought out that side in him? What was he difference between the two boys aside from the obvious age difference of a measly two years? What the hell happened in those two years? Occasionally, mostly on nights where Bentley had an episode, he would ask himself these questions repeatedly. Had he missed something? No, he couldn't have because even though Aaron had been just a boy, the memories were so clear in his mind. This always brought him to his next and final question, had he failed him as a brother or was he destined to be that way. Ever since Bentley was roughly five years old he had taken care of him here at the Orphanage. Every problem that Bentley had was Aaron's problem and everyone here knew that except for he most important person, Bentley himself. Although, everything that he had done for him, every correct path that he had set his little brother on, could it had been clouded by James' mentality? These were the questions that held the blonde male up at night.

When the younger of the two walked off Aaron just stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what his next move would be. For the first time in so many years Bentley finally confided in him and he didn't know how to take it or what to with that bit of information. Part of him was angry at him for claiming that he was never there for him. How could he say that? How could his little brother so strongly believe that? The other part of him felt for him because he understood that he didn't want to end up like their dad. Bentley and James, two in the same, but could Bentley become more than that? As said, it kept Aaron up at night and apparently it kept Bentley up as well. With that in his head he decided that he had to run off and go assure him and tell him how he was wrong about everything. Wrong about how Aaron was going to let anyone end up like James Mathias Hale. Just as he was about to walk off he hear the doorknob turn beside him and quickly turned around. There Diane was standing with tears in her eyes, which meant that she had hear everything. He felt slightly relieved because she needed to hear the truth as much as he did but his older brother instincts kicked in and took over. Aaron was seconds away from walking up and hugging her before dragging her back into her room so he could get some rest when Diane slumped to the floor. She began to unload as Bentley had done moments before. "It's okay, Diane." He let out a small sigh and then moved in closer on her. At that point he knelt dow in front ofher and gently wiped the tears from her eyes before locking her gaze. "When you guys first got together you were only thirteen but now you are both a lot older and it's time to grow up a little." Aaron brushed his wet thumbs quickly on his jeans after he removed some of the water from her face. It honestly hadn't done much good because of the excess crying but it had been the action itself that counted. He was trying to soothe as much as he possibly coul because after everything that happened over the last couple of days, he could only imagine how she was feeling. "It seems like both of you are a bit broken and a bit lost at the moment." His mind flashed to how pained his little brothers face looked when he finally admitted that he was scared. Nearly, he winced at the thought before continuing, " But there's someone downstairs who is just as lost." He had always been so easy on her but now it wasn't just the two of them anymore. There was a third player in their game that they now had to consider. " Do you two want to be the cause of her being broken?" For the next few years of Scout's life she was going to be so young and impressionable. How every the two decided to raise her was going to be set in stone for the rest of her life. Bentley was raised by two parents who weren't even remotely on the same page and had unsolved issues, look what happened to him? If the two didn't figure things out who knew what would become Scout? "I don't know where Bentley ran off too but I'll help you look." Slowly Aaron got to his feet and extended his hand down to hers. It was time to fix things wether they liked it or not. He wasn't expecting them to come back hand in hand as a couple, he was just hoping that they could compromise for the daughters sake.

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxB E N T L E Y JACOB HALE

❝ I'm so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground,
just enough to get my feet wet

but not enough to let me drown
I've been laying in my bed, wishing I had never woken

broke my knuckles on the wall ❞



Once the door of the bathroom door was shut he leaned into the shower and with shaky hands he turned the water on. As the water began to fill the porcelain, the steam began to eat the walls and fog up the mirrors. Slowly and as calmly as possible he slipped off his clothes and hopped inside, only to let the water caress his body. His mind was moving way to fast but with the luck, the longer he stood there, the more his muscles began to loosen and his mind faltered into being more numb. When he first began to smoke, this actually happened quiet frequently due to his anxiety being at an all time high. His ex girlfriend was having his baby and he was back at his parents house, there was a lot going on. In any case, when this use to happen he would always try laying down or taking long walks or really thinking about something in order to distract himself, but nothing usually worked. Finally, he decided enough was enough and gave into asking Jaime for help, which said a lot. Bentley was the least likely to ask someone for help, but he really liked the initial feeling that it gave him. It was like he was free for a few hours before the paranoia started to kick in. He knew if he could just get past that he could enjoy the feeling for a whole lot longer, just as he began to now. After a few minutes, of what felt like forever, he finally began to actually get on with his shower and shortly hopped out. His body felt ten pounds lighter and he leaned over and grabbed his clothes off the floor. Quickly he ran his hands through his hair before opening the door and stepping back into the hall. As soon as he opened the door a rush of cold air hit him and sent a shiver down his spine. It was now mid August and the weather was slowly but surely inching towards winter hear in Colorado. Bentley's steps increased to a bit of faster pace and back to his room so he could get warm clothes on as he had previously.

Click. In a matter of seconds he was gripping the door handle of his room and walking in, only to see Diane on his bed. His head tilted to the side as if he was a confused puppy, still in a slight haze, wondering why she was even here. Before he could question it she got to her feet and immediately began to shout, which in turn tensed his body right back up. She lifted the phone and in that moment he knew that she had found something that she shouldn't have. How though, he had a passcode on his phone? What did she "now know"? As he tried to fit the pieces together she finally began to explain her own train of thought and that's when he grew to be angry. Jaime texted him while he was in the shower and he had his settings were set to where the messages would pop up fully on the screen instead of just their name. At that point, his back and shoulders began to noticeably tense in anger of her invading his privacy and going through his phone. "Diane, we're not together." He moved his free hand to motion the two of them as he continued, "Who I spend my time with is none of your ******** business anymore." In saying that he didn't confirm nor deny either of those accusations thrown at him. Really, he felt that she had no right to know. He felt that she had no right to know anything about his life any more at all. "Get th-... Literally, as he was in the middle of kicking her out of his room she began to talk over him in a flurry. Maybe it was for the better though, risky move. It was her Orphanage and surely the next step was getting kicked out. He had run through all the possibilities based on which of the three caught him and when it came to Cherise or Diane, that was it. "You've made me this way. Anything that's ever come of me, is because of you." Bentley said it as cold as he could, as if he could lay the blame of his parents, the start of this journey, on her shoulders alone. In that moment he watched as she began to fidget, up then down and then up again. He intently watched as she placed his phone down and said the words, "I love you." Immediately a flash of his nightmares, just before he had gotten hit by the train, came into play and he grew more angry that he could possibly express. "You. Left. Me." Ten months ago, she was the one who had broken it off. It was what she wanted and as much as it hurt him, he wasn't going to chase after her. Bentley was so cold to her now because he couldn't handle any more hurt from her. He wasn't ready to break down those walls and he wasn't sure if he was ever ready to let her back in again, until now. There was so much angry stirred up just by her words that he was blind to what he was saying. He was still fairly stoned and so far into the red, he wasn't thinking straight. "I have loved you since the moment I met you, but we don't ******** work." How could they be together? It just didn't make sense. The rollercoaster that they put each other through was fatal for both of them; her physically and him mentally. "Do you think it's alright that you're health is literally slipping because of me?" Slowly his balled up fists began to shake as if he was angry. He looked like he was about to shout but if he looked deep into his eyes you could see the colors in his darken, complete sadness. "The fact that I'm so ******** up, that I can't even control myself anymore?" Once the statement managed to escape his lips his eyes welled up with tears that he refused to let fall right now. He was so beyond vulnerable but with the week that he had, had, there wasn't much control. It had been seeping out like a slow leak, now the flood gates were open. "If we're both gone, who's going to take care of Scout?" His tone of voice was cold and distance but still obviously angry. With out saying it word for word, he had finally admitted out loud the truth of everything that happened yesterday.



❝ I am broken, I am beaten,
I am mistreated and I am torn

and I am cold with no direction
but I am lost without your warmth ❞

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxB e n t l e y J a c o b H a l e

❝ I'm so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground,
just enough to get my feet wet

but not enough to let me drown
I've been laying in my bed, wishing I had never woken

broke my knuckles on the wall ❞



Complete silence. Between of the two of them, in the wide open space of his room, all you could hear was Bentley's breathing. It was a harsh and uneven as Diane stood there as quiet as a mouse, due to his confession. Now that it was out his body felt tired and his eyes felt heavy, he wasn't sure if it was thanks to the pot or his emotional struggles, but he knew that his body was ready to give in. As the silence drew out, his head started moving into a dark place that he didn't want anything to do with. He didn't want to be here anymore, he was done. Done with the struggles, done with the heart ache, done with creating a destructive path for himself. Completely defeated, he just wanted an out and that's all he could think about up until Diane took a step towards him. Immediately his eyes widened half a fraction because he wasn't sure what she planned on doing. Was she going to leave him here like this? She had stayed last night but with Bentley's words it was clear that he wasn't ready for all of this. Did she see that and was she willing to call it a quits as well? At that point he wasn't going to stop her from walking away, he wasn't going to get on his knees and beg her like he nearly did last night. The two had been at this for nearly there whole life and who knew, maybe it really was time to let go of everything that they had between them. Maybe, just maybe the two weren't destined to be together. Bentley was never one for religion but he firmly believed that the Universe had a path for everyone and this was his. To keep going and going, looking for a balance, until then to finally burn out, almost as if he was a star in the galaxy. Gravity, his emotional feats trying to shrink him, breaking him down. Heat, his temper because of every obstacle, burning him up. Hydrogen, having to grow up so fast, he's lost it and now he is fading. Some stars shine alone, some are together, some are found in huge clusters in the sky. He was alone, he thought Diane was his binary, but maybe that just wasn't so true.

The was no longer any fight left in him so he waited for her footsteps to continue out the door, but finally she spoke. She confronted him on his words and the knot in his throat grew even bigger, as if he couldn't speak, and so he didn't. He hadn't meant to let all of that slip, he hadn't meant a lot of things he had said tonight, these past months, nearly this whole year. Bentley was just so damn lost and confused, even more so when Diane finally closed the distance between them. He stood there in silence, his blue eyes firmly on her hazel ones. It wasn't until she gently touched his face did he realize he had stopped breathing since she had begun to move closer. In that exact moment his body released the tension and worry as if nothing matter. Of course there was underlying sense of anger and sadness, for Bentley he knew that it would always be there no matter what, but right now he actually felt content. He was just about to lean his head into her hand, due to her words, when he felt the fingertips of her other hand brush against his chest. Quickly he looked down at the the chain that stayed constantly around his neck, their promise ring. From the time she had given back, after so many years of having it, he put it around his neck as if it was beacon of hope. It had been there for so long now that he forgotten that he had still even worn it, except for times when he would catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror. At that moment she began to press on, basically saying if he was willing than she was too and that caused him to become conflicted. Should they really be doing this? This was just now, they were fine in this moment but what about tomorrow? Bentley was on the brink of a meltdown, and if this went south who knew what he was capable of right now. Although, before he could get too deep into thought, Diane distracted him with a flush in her cheeks. The two hadn't been this close since Scout had been born, which caused a sense of want to wash over his entire body. With zero hesitation he leaned his towering body down to Diane's small one and met her lips with his. He pulled her in and continued to kiss her with urgency and deprivation, "I want to get lost in you tonight." Once he was sure that she wanted to same thing he picked up her and threw her roughly on the bed. All he could think about was replacing his emotions with her body.



❝ I am broken, I am beaten,
I am mistreated and I am torn

and I am cold with no direction
but I am lost without your warmth ❞

[c u p p ii e]

❝ It got lost ↺ along the way.

This is ᴍ ᴇ , honestly.
I've got no ✗ apologies.

I'm done chasing ✈ things that don't belong to me.

This is real, it's how I feel, with one shoulder on the wheel ☲☲☲

What I'm searching for grows ☼ f u r t h e r out of r e a c h . ❞
• 
  
  From blocks away you could hear the booming sound of the music coming from the house of the party that they were just about to arrive too. As Jaime pulled up behind his friends he hopped out of his car and scoped out the situation as he pressed the lock button on his keys. His eyes wandered to the mass amount of people and the empty red cups scattered across the front lawn. If it was like this out here then he could only assume that the inside was a mad house, and was he right. The walls were lined with people from wall to wall, new adults swaying their bodies as they drank and socialized. Once the five of them were inside they all dispersed in separate directions, trying to find someone or something of interest. Immediately Jaime waded through the mass and decided it was time to find the source of alcohol and begin drinking a little bit. He didn't need it, he just found comfort in it and a slight buzz was always nice. After a short while of searching he came across it when he saw a group of college students pounding back solo cup after solo cup in a game, of what looked like, catch up. A small smile formed on his face and he passed the group and grabbed some for himself. Just as he finished filling the plastic up he turned his body and began to step away when he suddenly felt something press into him. Swiftly he lifted his cup above his head, removing the alcohol from the situation and refraining it from getting all over his sweater. This wasn't his first go around, numerous times he would watch those who couldn't handle themselves make more messes than he could count on his hand. With his other hand he grabbed onto her arm, making sure to steady her before asking, "You alright?" Once she apologized their eyes finally met and suddenly he felt like he had met this girl before. Had he slept with her? Surely not, usually the girls he would blow off wouldn't be nearly this friendly at this point. Maybe he had seen her at another party? In his two years it was more than likely and so easily he brushed off the feeling and continued, "No worries." Finally he smiled back at her and in that moment he knew, this was the one for tonight. The person he was going to get lost in and find his sense of control.
  
  The two of them talked for a while, he wasn't too sure how long it had been but it was enough time for them to exchange a few stories. The more they talked the more he grew sure that she was the one he was going to sleep with tonight. The information that she shared were enough to keep the conversation but not enough to get depth into who she really was, and he liked it. It felt as if she didn't want any emotional attachment as much as he did, and who knew maybe she didn't? Maybe she was looking for the same thing he was? In any case, the two continued to talk until there was a short break in the conversation. Suddenly he felt his hand in hers and he was being dragged through the sea of people once more, too a room in a separate area of the house. As soon as they walked in he shut the door behind him and placed his beer on the bed side table. Immediately, with no hesitation, the two began to get caught up in each other. With urgency, as if he needed to take over, he began to peel off her clothes and take over. The two of them toppled onto the bed and his nights' goal was in progress.
  
  Goal, met. Once she rolled off of him the two of them laid there for a moment and to his surprise there was no trying to cuddle or talk. At that point Jaime looked over to see this girl, already passed out asleep beside him. This was literally any males dream, there was no whining or argument or guilt. That was a new one, he wasn't use to that kind of behavior, and honestly, he didn't like it. It was almost as if she was sending him away and not the other way around. It was as if he wasn't good enough and she was waiting for him to leave. The control was suddenly hers and not his and this disturbed him more than it should have. So, in attempt to get some of the power back, he did what he did best and began to make his exit. Jaime got to his feet and slid his jeans up around his waist followed by his shirt and sweater. As he pulled the fabric over his shoulders he took another look at the girl he had just hooked up with and this time he noticed something different. His body froze at that sight of a long vertical scar on one of his wrists. Quickly he finished pulling the sweater over his head before he leaned in a little closer to get a better look. "Minn?" Her name came out in a slight whisper as he was unsure and had no desire to wake her up. The closer he looked, the more the wound began to bring back old memories and piece together why she seemed so familiar earlier. [********] Instantly Jaime slipped on his shoes and grabbed his jacket off the floor before walking out and leaving her behind. This broke all of his rules, never associate with an old hook up, no matter what. Although, that girl wasn't just a fling, she just so happened to be his old friend from before all of this. The two of them grew up together and then she disappeared, leaving him behind. Minn was sick, she needed help, and so he watched her walk away. Honestly, from the moment he watched her get in the back of her parents car on that day, he never thought he would see her again. He never expected that they would end up running into each other again, especially at some frat party.

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxB e n t l e y J a c o b H a l e

❝ I'm so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground,
just enough to get my feet wet

but not enough to let me drown
I've been laying in my bed, wishing I had never woken

broke my knuckles on the wall ❞



Firmly his arm was wrapped around her waist and his head nuzzled into her neck, sleeping comfortably and still. This was the first night in almost a year where he had actually slept all the way through with zero disturbances. Every night he would wake up because of anxiety or depression but right now he was content. There were no wandering thoughts, no nightmares, just complete solace. He was out cold up until he felt someone mumbling in his ear and fidgeting against his body. Even though they were the softest of noises and movements his eyes flew wide open and then into a squint in order to get use to the light shining into his room. To any normal person, they probably would have been able to sleep right through it, but Bentley was a light sleeper. It came with the anxiety, every little noise in the night was as if it was blasting alarm and would cause him to awake. When his eyes finally finished adjusting he slightly lifted his head, just in time to feel Diane's hand move from the bed to his arm. "Hey, morning," he sleepily just finished say as he heard her mumble something once more. The young male was sure he heard the word "leave" but he was unsure of the context behind it since he only heard her partially. "What?" His body began to tense up a little bit at the thought of her getting up and walking out of the room but he resisted the feeling of panic. Slowly he pulled his head back away from her body so he could look at her face and get a read on her emotions. Maybe not to everyone, but for him Diane was the easiest person to read. He knew all of her weird quirks and gives and ticks that she did, he had only spent the last fourteen years of his life with her. When her eyes met his he knew instantly knew she was afraid, but why? Was she having doubts? On the outside his face was blank, not giving much away, but on the inside he could feel the darkness creeping out of chest and up his throat. It wasn't until she moved in closer to him did it vanish away and go back into hiding. As her eyes sunk deeper into his he finally cut the tension by leaning in and kissing her forehead as he used to always do when they were together.

Silence, the good kind. He was okay with this, because silence was better than arguing. Bentley was just about to lay his head back down once more and close his eyes, he wasn't ready to get up yet. The rest of the world, outside his room, the chaos and judgement, didn't matter until they decided to leave this little bubble. Everything was going great, up until that bubble was suddenly popped by her next statement. His eyes creased, trying to make sense of what she had just said. How he did what? They hadn't slept together in the same bed in so long she didn't quite understand the kinds of dreams that he had been getting as of late. It may seem as if he was fine, but behind that closed door he was a complete mess. Nightly, he would wake up in cold sweats and unable to breathe due to the messed up things that would haunt him in his sleep. She didn't understand that concept but he did entirely, and he felt for her when she claimed that she had saw him leave. He understood what it had felt like and how much it had hurt, but instead of revealing all of that he continued to listen. Honestly, he expected this to be a confession but quickly that faded when she started to question him as she did last night. At that point he figured it was going to be more questions about Jaime since that was never really cleared up, which also reminded him that he still hadn't responded to his messages. That was another bridge to be crossed at a later time. Although, instead, she brought up his slip up about what he said pertaining to Scout being left alone. Before she could even finish her question he grew to be extremely uncomfortable and his heart began to race. He wanted so badly to brush it off, to let it go, to pretend that it didn't happen, but something in her gaze began to pull it out of him. Bentley couldn't help begin to confess, "I tried hurting myself again two nights ago." His words were quiet as if he was ashamed but he knew she would get what he was implying. She was aware of his one suicide attempt when he was thirteen but neither of the two people who knew him best, Aaron or Diane, looked too much into it. It looked like he was just acting out, begging for attention, but that wasn't the truth of it at all. Bentley had kept these feelings quiet for so long and so even though it had technically been one time it didn't gauge how much the depression really weighed down on him. It was also in the little ways that he self harmed that showed how much he was actually hurting, like the times that he refused to eat because he didn't have the will and felt like starvation was what he deserved. The times that he would cross the street with out even looking, hoping a car would hit him and put him out of his misery because he was too coward to do himself. Now recently, smoking marijuana, finding a way to become numb and not have to cope with life head on so he could continue on for one more day. A small pattern of self destructive behavior not easily seen to someone who didn't understand exactly what he was feeling. "I can't do that." His face was so straight and made out of stone, trying to block out everything that he was feeling at this very moment. What she had offered him had sat in the back of his mind, he knew it had always been an option but he never was willing. What did it matter if he was finally successful in his attempts? There was Aaron, his brother. Diane, the love of his life. Cherise, his best friend at the time. But they just didn't understand what he was feeling which, overall, lead him to be very selfish in his decision making in these matters. At that moment he felt her fingers lace into his, stopping the rush of thoughts and breaking him down. "What if none of it works?" Again, another whisper but this time he was choked up and trying to refrain from letting his tears fall once more. Of course he weighed the option of actually doing it, but in the back of his mind he knew that it would be his last stop. If the therapy and prescriptions had no effect that that was the end of him and there was a part of him that was actually afraid of going through with it all. It was the reason why he had only managed two attempts in the last nineteen years of his life. Although, things were different now, for the first time, in his entire life, there was something bigger than him that he knew he had to stick around for. There wasn't much more Dr. Harriott could do for Diane, but it was only the beginning for Bentley.



❝ I am broken, I am beaten,
I am mistreated and I am torn

and I am cold with no direction
but I am lost without your warmth ❞

[c u p p ii e]

At that moment he felt her fingers lace into his, stopping the rush of thoughts and breaking him down. "What if none of it works?" Again, another whisper but this time he was choked up and trying to refrain from letting his tears fall once more. Of course he weighed the option of actually doing it, but in the back of his mind he knew that it would be his last stop. If the therapy and prescriptions had no effect that that was the end of him and there was a part of him that was actually afraid of going through with it all. It was the reason why he had only managed two attempts in the last nineteen years of his life. Although, things were different now, for the first time, in his entire life, there was something bigger than him that he knew he had to stick around for. There wasn't much more Dr. Harriott could do for Diane, but it was only the beginning for Bentley.

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxB e n t l e y J a c o b H a l e

❝ I'm so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground,
just enough to get my feet wet

but not enough to let me drown
I've been laying in my bed, wishing I had never woken

broke my knuckles on the wall ❞



Due to the expression on his face he knew that this conversation was long but over. Although, he was pleased to know that she knew when not to push and to his relief she dropped the issue at hand. Once she finally returned his smile his body began to relax and he nodded when she mentioned that she had to go feed their daughter. When she made her exit he decided that maybe he should get up himself, it wouldn't do any good with him alone in his room with his thoughts. So with that he got to his feet and walked over to his closet to get dressed. For a few moments he rummaged around in his closet until he found something to combat the cold weather creeping into August. Just as he zipped up his green windbreaker in it's entirety, he heard his door begin to creek open and without hesitation, his eyes darted over to the noise. Every since Diane had broken up with him and Aaron moved out, he really wasn't used to having visitors in his room. Although, aside from his reaction, it was obvious as to who it was, Diane. When he saw her walk into the room his eyes went from hers to Scouts and then back to hers, this was the first time he was seeing his daughter since his nightmare he had two nights ago. When she offered Scout to him, for what was the third time now, he was silent and nearly took a step back but managed to stand his ground. Before he could finally muster up the words she spoke once more in effort to convince him. In attempt to keep his hands busy he grabbed a hat off of his shelf and ran his fingers through his hair before placing it backwards on his head, as she spoke to him. Slowly he watched as she sat on his bed with their daughter and explained to him how it all worked. Before he could process any of this she asked if he was ready, the ball was now in his court once more. Suddenly he was conflicted, her words weighed heavy on his shoulders. Could something as simple as not holding Scout really effect her in the long run? He was the youngest of the two Hale brothers and never really took much interest when Diane was taking care of the children around here too much, so really he wasn't sure if she was over exaggerating. With a deep breathe, he walked over and sat close beside her but didn't put his arms up to hold Scout just yet. Their daughters eyes floated over to his and she smiled over at him, just like in his nightmare. His heart began to race and he wasn't sure of anything at this point but it came down to one thing, how was he to be any better than James if he couldn't overcome this and keep from holding their daughter back. So with a simple nod he moved his arms into position, as Diane had just showed him, and instantly he felt the weight of their daughter in his arms; physically and emotionally. His body was so tense but his heart suddenly felt so full when he looked down into those big blue eyes she had received from him. He never would have guessed that someone, aside from Diane, could make him feel this way. It was the same, and yet it was different all at once. His mind raced back to Diane's question a little while ago, "Okay." Slowly, as if he didn't want to break eye contact with Scout, he finally met Diane's eyes and nodded. "I'll talk to Dr. Harriott." In his nineteen years he was continuously selfish, only thinking about relieving his pain, but now, with Scout it was suddenly different. After holding her, after striking that bond, all he could think was who was he to be so selfish towards someone so defenseless? Things were different now, for the first time, in his entire life, there was something bigger than him that he knew he had to stick around for. There wasn't much more Dr. Harriott could do for Diane, but it was only the beginning for Bentley.

ｔｉｍｅ ｓｋｉｐ

A few days after their agreement Bentley and Diane had gone to see Dr. Harriott together, although Bentley was the only who had actually gone in. Overall, the two had talked for a solid hour and a half before he was officially diagnosed with depression. In order to refrain from being emitted into a mental facility he skipped over his latest attempt but confirmed his one at a younger age. In the end, the sent him away with a prescription and schedule entailing when they would have therapy sessions. During the first week his body was adjusting and his emotions were all over the place. With the sadness being dulled down he was still angry but he wasn't sure what about anymore, so he endured a lot of misplaced feelings. There was a whole lot of ups and downs and yet some how it had made him and Diane closer than what they had been this whole past year. Now it was week two and things were beginning to even out for him. He was still the same old Bentley, standoffish and keeping to himself, but he was no longer as angry and upset anymore. In the past he would always replace those scared and uneasy feelings with his temper, it was his way over overpowering it, but now there was no need. So on this morning, day sixteen, he woke up with zero nightmares from the previous night. Every since his visit he began to have them less and less until it was nearly nothing anymore. There was the occasional disturbing dream, but nothing like the mind numbing terrors he would have before. So with that, he slowly lifted his head off his pillow and looked over at Diane who was still sleeping beside him. As quietly and as gently as he could, he began untangling himself from Diane and threw his feet off of the bed. Bentley then reached over to his phone, that was sitting on the bed side table, and read over the text message he had sitting over night. It was from Jaime, he basically began to express his gratitude towards Bentley when he helped him out earlier in the month and that he had more for him to sell. With that being said, yes, Bentley went back and picked up all the extra stuff that Jaime had asked of him, even with Diane finding out. Due to her being so focused on his mental health, they never really got back into that conversation and he continued on. Regardless of what was happening, he still needed to be able to provide for Scout and this was his only way as of right now. Just as he was about to text him back he began to hear Diane waking up behind him. Calmly, he locked his phone and looked back over at her and smiled. "Hey, morning." Once she responded he got to his feet and went over to his closet to put some clothes on so he could get started with his day. "I have to go get Aaron's gift." Before making his exit he walked over to his dresser and pulled out a his prescription Dr. Harriott had given him, in his top drawer. All of Diane's medication was downstairs in the kitchen but his was hidden away, from the very beginning it was no one else's business and Diane knew better than to discuss with anyone. This was also the reason why he had no problem taking it in front of her and so that's what he did. Quickly he tossed the pills into his mouth before putting the bottle away and walked back over to Diane. "I'll be back in a little bit," he said as he leaned in and kissed her forehead before leaving and heading towards town.

It was just a little over two solid hours before Bentley was climbing back up the porch to the Orphanage once more. In all honesty, it hadn't taken him that long to pick up Aaron's gift because he had everything planned out for that. In addition, on the walk over there, he came to the realization that the shop was literally just a few blocks from Jaime's house and so with slight hesitation, he made his way over there to pick up what he needed. It was a short visit, Jaime tried to convince him to smoke, but Bentley actually refused this time around. Ever since he started to take his meds he didn't really feel the need anymore and kind of slowly began to let it go. In any case, after making his visit to the woods, to drop off his stuff, he walked in the house empty handed from the looks of it. What he had gotten for Aaron was too big to bring inside so he left it on the side of the house, out of sight. Once he was inside he noticed everyone kind of gathering downstairs and hanging out, waiting for Aaron's arrival. Anyone who had been there for a few years knew who he was and all the kids loved to be around him. It was so odd, how different the two of them actually were, Bentley and Aaron. In any case, in the mass of people, he noticed Diane sitting on the couch with their daughter and so he walked over and sat beside them. Immediately Scout began to smile and reach out to him, but instead of grabbing her he put out a finger so she could hold on too him. Out of everything that had changed in these past two weeks or so, his hesitation towards Scout hadn't. It wasn't as bad, he could be in her presence now without freezing up but he still wasn't all there. No matter what ever happened, no matter how much medication he was on, it would never change the damage James had done. Just as Scout grabbed his finger he heard the door open and so his head turned over to the noise as Aaron walked through. His brothers focus was on everyone who was wishing him "Happy Birthday," up until he noticed the scene in front of him. Aaron hadn't been around in a little while, he was busy doing who knows what, so he was unaware of everything that had changed. The glance that he had took towards the three of them was short but Bentley knew his brother and he absolutely noticed that it wasn't just a normal glance. Part of him was irritated by it, there were still hard feelings over their last argument, a lot of things were said, but he brushed it off. "Happy Birthday, Aaron." His brother smiled at him and thanked him whole heartedly before continuing on and saying "hi" to everyone else.

gift.


❝ I am broken, I am beaten,
I am mistreated and I am torn

and I am cold with no direction
but I am lost without your warmth ❞

[c u p p ii e]

first middle last
━━━━━━━━━━━━



「✶」 role
「✶」 age
「✶」 trait
「✶」 trait
「✶」 trait
「✶」 username

[c u p p ii e]

noah gray graham
━━━━━━━━━━━━



「✶」 youtuber
「✶」 twenty two
「✶」 charismatic
「✶」 creative
「✶」 adventurous
「✶」 c u p p ii e

[c u p p ii e]

o p e n l e t t e r s ✉

" and if you ever feel lonely, just look at the moon.
someone, some where is looking right at it too. "

one x one

c u p p ii e and nirvana seeking

youtuber x suicidal

feel free to follow a long.

[c u p p ii e]

o p e n l e t t e r ✉

" this is my open letter
this is something to remember. "

one x one

c u p p ii e and nirvana seeking

youtuber x suicidal

feel free to follow a long.

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx @noahgray

ＮＯＡＨ xxxxxx ＧＲＡＹ ＧＲＡＨＡＭxxxxxxxonline ⋮ offline ⋮ idle ⋮ mobile
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx❝What's up, lads!❞



Ｍａｙ ２９ｔｈ ２０１７

The sun was peaking through the giant window that sat on one of the wall in his loft as he walked to his room to grab his camera. It was a beautiful day in Louth, Dublin which gave him the inspiration to make a video today. As he exited he had both his camera and tripod in addition to a bag full of stuff, containing letters and gifts from the viewers at home. Noah was a traveler, he would always record his trips and experiences, and talk about his adventures on camera. It was a way for him to keep those memories and trips and for some reason, people liked watching them too. He had been Youtube since he was eighteen and in the last four years, his subscriber count had sky rocketed to three point eight million. In any case, today's video was going to be a little bit different. There was always going to be a time where things were going to slow down, he could't always be some place new. So he set up the camera and with a few more trips to his room, to bring out more mail, he added in a comfy chair to sit in before beginning a fan mail vlog. "What's up, lads." Once he did his signature opening he looked behind him at the pile behind him and then back at the camera in front of him with a smile. "As you can see, it's been a while since I've done one of these, so let's go." With zero hesitation he grabbed one of the boxes and began to get started. As time flew, it was just one thing after another; gifts, letters, things specific to their country, and the entire time he seemed so intrigued. Noah loved doing these videos, not because he got things from them, but because it was a really cool way to connect with people on the other side of the camera. He got to learn about them and see where they were from and usually there was always a good few laughs. The mountain of things began to dwindle down until it was now a short pile as he grabbed for a letter this time. "This one comes all the way form Victoria in California." Gently he ripped open the letter and began to read it out out loud to the camera. He smiled when she said she was a big fan and thanked her for that, but suddenly the letter began to take a turn. As soon as got into the second sentence of the second paragraph, he went from reading aloud to just mouthing the words. From the moment he had gotten to the end of the letter he dropped his hands to his legs, and looked past the camera and out the window. In all of his years on here he had never gotten a letter quite like this. The closest he had come was someone thanking him for changing their life, saving them from something like this. A few moments had passed by before he had gotten to his feet, with the letter in hand, and walked over to the camera before turning it off. He couldn't finish, not like this, not when someone needed his help so badly. So that's what he did, he was off on the hunt to find a way to contact Victoria Harting in California.

Ｊｕｎｅ １９ｔｈ ２０１７
Louth, Ireland ✈ Los Angeles, California

It was going to be a long one today, he was going to be in the air for eighteen solid hours so he could make it to the eighth annual VidCon. Early in the morning his dad dropped him off at the international airport and to his surprise he had made it through security quite fast so he had a lot of time to kill. Due to the fact that he had spent most of the week prepping for his trip, he lost track of time and managed to forget to edit his video. It was a simple one, it basically contained all of the information for this weekend. Noah spoke about where he was going to be and at what times, in addition to what panels he was going to be on. In any case, he pulled out his computer and got to work because he knew that if he didn't get it up now, there wouldn't be a video this week at all. Vidcon was always so busy due to all the meet ups and panels, not to mention the time he would spend reconnecting with all of his friends. The entire weekend was just go, go, go! So quickly and patiently he got to work with all the stop and go of hopping on one airplane to another. Just as he was about to get on his very last flight of the evening he hit the upload button and watched as the little bar, until fully loaded, was completely filled in.

Ｊｕｎｅ ２０ｔｈ ２０１７

The young male was fast asleep in his hotel bedroom when he suddenly heard a loud knocking coming from the other side of the door. A small groan escaped from his lips before he lifted his head up to see that it was bright outside now. As his eyes began to adjust he grabbed his phone and looked at the time, it was already four in the afternoon. His eyes widened ever so slight but this happened every year, he was always extremely jet lagged after his flights and slept most of the first day in California away. Finally he got to his feet and cracked the door open to see who it was, and again, just like last year it was one of the PR's grabbing him so they could go over tomorrow's schedule. "Thanks. I'll be down shortly." The two of them nodded at each other before he shut the door behind him and walked over to his suitcase to put on some clothes. He rummaged around for a while and finally found something that he could both where now and later on tonight at the party. Every year the creators of VidCon held a special party for all the content makers so everyone could reconnect and have a good time before things got crazy hectic. Shortly, once he fixed his hair, he made his way down into the lobby and over to the conference room where a bunch of other youtubers were hanging out, waiting. As he saw the mass of people around him it caused him to begin thinking about how many people where actually going to be there tomorrow. This was just them, the creators, imagine the creators plus the viewers as well? In the moment he suddenly began to think about one viewer in particular, Victoria. In the previous month, he had spent the rest of his day and evening looking for a way to get into contact with Victoria. It had taken so long due to her name actually being quite common, but finally he had found her through Twitter and shot her a direct message. They had gone back and fourth, they talked a little bit, and in the end he had gotten her to promise not to hurt herself. After that, he checked on her periodically but today was now the twentieth and it had been nearly two weeks since either of them had said anything to each other. VidCon began tomorrow, and there was going to be a whole lot of people wandering the convention, would she be one of them? At that thought he pulled his phone from his pocket and pulled up Twitter before he decided to break the silence.

█ Ｎｏａｈ Ｇｒａｈａｍ ⋮ @noahgray ✉
█ Ｖｉｃｔｏｒｉａ Ｈａｒｔｉｎｇ ⋮ @tori-h ✉

@noahgray: hope to finally get to meet you this weekend.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx❝I'll see you guys next week.❞




✎ about xxxxx☝ rate ☟ xxxxx + add to favorites xxxxx✉ sharexxxxx ❝comment❞

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxx

ＡＡＲＯＮ xxxxxx ＣＨＲＩＳＴＯＰＨＥＲ ＨＡＬＥ
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♫♪ You've had your own mountains to climb and I've got skeletons I hide
In the back of my mind where I question myself. I dwell on the past just like
everyone else. Don't bear the weight of the world on your shoulders. It's not
too heavy. I'll break my back so you can feel like someone's on your side. ♫♪



It was fairly early in the morning when Aaron was awoken by a hand to his shoulder and a waterfall of red hair surrounding his face. "Good morning." Slowly and groggily his eyes opened to meet the green eyes that were focused on him before he smiled up at the face. "Morning." It had been two and a half solid weeks since Aaron had been back to the Orphanage and this was part of the reason why. The first being that he had a really bad fight with Bentley, a lot of hurtful things were said. He still couldn't believe that Bentley thought so little of their relationship and his role in his little brothers life. The scene played in his head over and over again for the next couple of days after it happened, "You were never there for me." Although, even past all of that, that wasn't the main reason for his absence, it was her, Eleanor Amelia Kennedy. The two had met when Aaron first moved out of the Orphanage, they actually lived in the same apartment complex, but things didn't start getting serious until a month or so ago. Any time he was at his home away from home, he was with her and now the two were in a solid relationship. "Happy birthday." Once his eyes were fully adjusted to the light peaking through the few windows in his room he sat up and kissed Eleanor's cheek. "Thanks." She nodded and smiled back at him before she asked what he had planned for his special day. To be honest, for the last month or so he wasn't so sure what he was actually going to do today. He contemplated spending it here with her, he knew it would make him the happiest, because being with her caused him to be the happiest he's been in a long time. Aaron was always a fairly happy, positive minded person, but with Eleanor the two were on the same page. He had only been in two relationships before her, one with Kimi, a girl who lived at the Orphanage for a while and the other was just a fling over summer. Needless to say, both were toxic and no good for him. For once it felt like he wasn't the only one giving, it was an equal give and take between them. Although, even past all of that, he decided the week prior where he would be spending today. The last fifteen years of his life he had spent his birthdays over at the Orphanage with all the children, Diane and Cherise, and most importantly Bentley. In the twenty years of Bentley's life, neither of them had spent a birthday apart from the other. Even with all the fighting and arguing and butting heads over little things and sometimes major, no matter what they were always together and for that reason, he decided that he was going to head over there today. "I'm heading over to see my brother and the rest of my family." With that answer she nodded her head and then pulled out a little black box and handed it over, saying how she had gotten him a little something. A huge smile lit up on his face as he grabbed it and opened it to see a watch on the inside. Once more he kissed her and thanked her and told her how much he loved it before the two finally got out of bed.

A solid hour had passed, Eleanor made him a special pancake breakfast, before they both got dressed and headed out of his apartment. He watched as she headed further into the complex and back to her own place before he took the half hour walk back over to his original home, the Orphanage. Finally he walked up to the steps and as soon as he walked in he was bombarded by a bunch of familiar little faces. Once more he smiled and greeted as many little voices as he could before he reached the living room and saw a sight that he definitely wasn't expecting. Before him was Bentley and Diane, together, with Scout right in the middle of them. When he had last been here, just a measly two and a half weeks ago, the two of them were in a fight as well and Bentley definitely wasn't properly settling into fatherhood. All he could think was, "What the hell did I miss," but even with all of the confusion he couldn't help but be happy for him. It genuinely seemed that Bentley was actually really happy and I mean, genuinely happy. Aaron knew him better than anyone and even so, there was no detection of an underlying sense of anger. Well, that was up until they made eye contact. The way that Bentley looked at him, he knew that Bentley could read what he was thinking and so he was just going to leave it be, but to his surprise he greeted him with a "happy birthday." Again, another first, in the past, if the two were in argument, there was no way that Bentley would have been the one to break first. He would have waited until Aaron went in and fixed things, he was hard headed and stubborn like that and so whole heartedly he hit him back with a, "Thanks, Bentley." To be honest, things weren't necessarily adding up in his head, this wasn't his brother. There was something different about him, but he wasn't going to try and figure it out right now. The last thing he needed was to cause a scene in front of everyone. He knew his little brother was a very private person and so he knew that in turn that would be the only possible outcome and cause things to be even worse between them. So, with a smile and a nod, he continued on and looked over at Diane. He walked over to her and leaned down to hug her in order to keep things simple for her, due to the fact that Scout was in her arms. Once she kissed him on the cheek and he thanked her for the birthday wishes he looked down at his niece and lightly pinched her rosie cheeks, yet another thing she had received from her father. "Can't wait to try it," he said in reference to her baking a cake for him.

Finally he got back to the children who continuously begged for his attention before Diane finally began shuffling everyone into the kitchen to get things started. He nodded and followed the mob as they went before getting planted at the kitchen table. When she mentioned that everyone had something to give him he knew, it was going to be cards that the kids had made for him. Again, it happened like this every year, it was nothing new, and yet every year he did it and appreciated every single card given to him. At that point the kids started to give him the cards one by one and each and every one he had read aloud and looked at the pictures that were drawn for him. This went on for a solid ten minutes before he was interrupted by a loud uproar coming from the doorway. His eyes shot up from the piece of paper before him and over to the commotion to see his brother standing there with his gift to him. As Bentley made his little spiel his eyes widened half a fraction because of how shocked he was at the gift itself. Aaron was fully aware of how thoughtful Bentley could be, it was proven numerous times when they were little kids, before Bentley had a change of heart. In addition, it was proved throughout all the sweet things he had done for Diane when they were together. Are together? He still wasn't clear on what Diane and Bentley were at this point. In any case, he placed the card on the table and walked over to his brother to thank him. "Thanks, Bentley. This is really nice." He leaned in and briefly hugged his brother, instantly he felt the tension that still resided between them. Before either of them could say anything further the children were back in an uproar once more, shouting at both him and Diane how they wanted one for themselves. A smile grew on his face once more before Diane got them to settle down and so he thanked Bentley once more and then went back to reading the cards.

A light breathe, the flames in the candles were extinguished. Everyone had just finished singing the freshly twenty two year "happy birthday" and now it was time to cut the cake. Aaron got to his feet and walked over to Diane to grab the knife from her and begin helping her out. One by one Diane passed out the pieces until there were just a few left. He handed a piece to her before grabbing his own and finally taking a bite. "Tastes great, Diane." He smiled at her and then noticed Bentley out of the corner of his eye, with no cake in hand. With a deep breathe he grabbed a second helping and nodded his head at his brother. It was a clear and he knew that Diane understood as he walked around her and headed over to him. "Here." Once his brother took the piece he took another bite of his before he came out with it and asked, "You seem...," there was a slight hesitation in the second half of the statement. Aaron was far from scared, he was just trying to tip toe around Bentley's temper as always. "different, but in a good way." Last time they had spoken, Bentley was an absolute mess. He revealed how much Diane had mean't to him and how scared he was of Scout and now it seemed like things had taken a one eighty. All of sudden Bentley and Diane and Scout were in the same room and it was if there was no tension at all between the three. Instantly, as soon as the statement left his mouth, he watched as Bentley squared his shoulders which mean't he was getting defensive. He listened as his brother responded calmly and yet there it was, that underlying tone of bitterness. The leftovers from their argument they had half half a month ago upstairs. Aaron was just about to get into it when Cherise pulled everyone's attention towards her and to be honest, he thought it was going to be another surprise. And yes, it was a surprise, just not one he was expecting.