c u p p ii e ' s ❥ t e s t i n g

visitors.

+ one	100.0%	[ 53 ]
Total Votes:			[ 53 ]

[c u p p ii e]

When he had told her to go turn around and leave he honestly wasn't too sure how it would play out when it came to Diane. When they were together she would never bail and always tried to work it out with him no matter how far things had gone. As of recent years it had been the opposite, the two had, what seemed like, given up on each other. Any time things got bad, one would walk out on the other and it would never get settled. It was most likely the main reason that there was so much tension between the two of them. In all honesty he figured it would be the latter of the two and Diane would stalk back off into the Orphanage to be with their newborn daughter, to his surprise, she stayed. At that point she started going off saying how her health was depleting and how she was really sick. Almost immediately he could feel his heart racing, and not from the adrenaline. His anxiety was screaming at him, "Run, Bentley. Move your a**." What was he supposed to do with out her? As selfish as it seemed, his first thought was how unready and unfit he would be to be a single parent. He couldn't even look at Scout, nonetheless touch her! It had been more than twenty four hours since she had arrived and he hadn't even touched her once. It nearly felt like he couldn't breathe but he stood their trying to hold himself together. The last thing he needed was for Diane to see him in a complete panic. Luckily for the both of them, she challenged him which raised his adrenaline just enough to switch gears. She knew he absolutely hated to be challenged and the fact that she wanted her to hit him was absolutely ridiculous. Without even thinking, as he did with Milo, before he turned his body and thrusted his fist straight into the iron bars. He let out a small growl because of the frustration and the slight stinging sensation before turning around and seeing that she was fully crying. If this was years ago he would have already walked up to her and comforted her and most likely kissed her forehead to soothe her. Instead, it upset him even more and his face grew hot. "Are you out of your ******** mind, Diane." How dare she even try that with him? How dare she say that she cared for him after everything that they had done to each other? There was way to much going on in his mind. "The only reason we concern each is because of Scout. I don't care about you and you sure as s**t don't care about me." Bentley watched and stood there as she began to say something, but that was when the world shifted. Instantaneously, her eyes rolled back into her head and he watched as her body gave out and she collapsed on the floor. As soon as she fainted Bentley scooped her up into his arms and ran her back into the house. Of course, right when he walked in, everyone was in his face, questioning him about what happened. Instead of answering anything he walked up stairs to her room with Aaron and Cherise close in step behind him. Once he placed her on the bed he ignored everyone and walked out to let the two of them take care of it. The last thing he mumbled on his way out was the fact that she had passed out and she needed a doctor. The way he said it was as if he was in a trance and honestly, for him, it felt like an out of body experience.

tick. tick. tick. It was quiet in Diane's room due to the fact that it was just him and her in there. Bentley's eyes were trained on Diane's chest, watching it rise and then fall repeatedly. His arms sat across his chest as if it would hold everything all together in this very moment but that wasn't the case. It had been a half hour since she had collapsed and twenty minutes since she had seen a doctor. Everyone had left her to get bed rest as the doctor ordered which give him the perfect opportunity to be here with her, no interruption. Finally he pulled off his hat once more and ran his fingers through his hair before he had heard the door slide open a few inches. His eyes darted over to the sound and was slightly relieved when he saw his brother standing there. Aaron nodded his head out to the hall and Bentley nodded and got to his feet without looking back at Diane in the bed. Once the two were in the hall Aaron took in a deep breathe and sighed and then continued by asking what happened. "We got in an argument and then she fainted. That's it." It hadn't even a minute of back and fourth between them and already the young males patience was running fairly thin. Already did he feel like he was being accused of something. She's sick, and that's not his fault. It was as if his brother was reading his mind and pointed out the obvious. "She told me. I don't know what my plan is but that's exactly it, that's mine to worry about." At that point his brother mentioned that a lot could change and so quickly. Immediately his breathe hitched and that fact that he was even saying that had his anxiety screaming at him once more. Diane had been sick her whole life and it had always been bad but Aaron making questioning him like this mean't it was bad, real bad. "Now you care, Aaron. Now you want a say. Now you want to play big brother with me?" Slowly but surely it felt like his chest was about to collapse in on him and eyes started to form water in the creases. "You were never there when I needed you. You haven't been there since we've left home." Aaron had brought him here when he was younger but he felt like that was the last great thing he had done for him. Where was he from ages five to ten when he felt so alone and in the dark? Where was he from ages eleven to sixteen when he felt the only escape he had was by killing himself? Where was he from ages seventeen to eighteen when he felt like the only possible thing he could do at that point was go back to there abusive father instead of living with nice, halfway, normal people? "You know what, Aaron? I am scared." He tried evening out his breathing from being so worked up but the flood gates were down and here it came. A waterfall pouring over the edge of cliff. "Do you know what it's like to be s**t on your whole life and then have this perfect thing come into it? Do your realize that the last good thing that ever happened to me is in the other room dying. Now I have Scout and I am so scared to ******** it up to where I can't even touch her." Finally he took in a deep breathe because he was almost sure he was going to cry. Aaron hadn't seen him cry in years, since he was a little kid even. Quickly he took of his hat and ran his hands through his hair and nearly cried out in frustration. "Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm ******** up, now get the ******** out of my way."

What happened?
We got in an argument and she fainted, that's it.
She's sick, Bentley. What's your plan? What if anything happens?
She told me. I don't have a plan but that's exactly it, that's mine to worry about.
Are you joking Bentley? At any moment you could become a single parent and you don't even care.
Now you care? Now you want to have a say?
Wha...
You were never there for me when I needed you. You weren't there when I was younger. You weren't there for me now. You were NEVER there when I needed you.
Bentley, that's bullshit and you know it.
You know Aaron, I am scared. You know what it's like having something great in your life again? Do you realize how it feels to be s**t on your whole life and have this perfect thing come into your life and being SO scared to ******** it up. I never want to be like dad but at this rate, not being in Scout's like I am, I might be even worse. I can't even touch her. Is that what you wanted to her? I'm ******** up, not get the ******** out of my way.

[c u p p ii e]

s soon as Diane took off upstairs to have a small piece of mind he had taken the attention of every single on of the kids in the room. Slowly he sat down with Scout in his arms and he watched as she cooed and smiled up at him. The children all watched in awe and asked questions separately and all at once and patiently Aaron answered every single one that he could. This went on for a solid twenty minutes before he noticed Bentley making his way down the stairs. He noticed that his brother hadn't taken one look back at his daughter and this bothered him. Ever since Scout had arrived he had been acting weird, almost as if she didn't even exist. For some, Bentley was hard to read but Aaron could do it like a book or the back of his hand. Even when he didn't say anything, Aaron knew. A lot of the time he didn't in order to save himself an argument but that didn't change the fact that he was always there in the background, guiding him in the right direction. A small sigh escaped his lips as he knew that he needed to have a talk with his little brother later. Something wasn't settling right, he just wasn't sure was going on his that head of his. As he looked back down at Scout a memory crossed his mind from way back when Bentley was baby. When Riley arrived back at the house with him she was so happy, he was the light of his life and Aaron couldn't remember his mom's face ever glowing that bright. She held him and loved him and it was almost as she if she never wanted to put him down. Where ever she went, Bentley was right there in her arms. Although, it wasn't the same for the father, where was James? The blonde could see an image of his dad on the couch or in their parents room or really any room that Bentley wasn't in. It was apparent at a young age that James disapproved of him and not much had changed. It had only gotten worse and then distance turned into violence between the two as the younger of the two Hale brothers grew older. As the memory came to an end Aaron's brow began to furrow because it was happening again, but in a different light. It was incredible, Bentley and James hadn't grown up together and yet Bentley was so much like him. So much aggression and misguided anger at the world that was so unnecessary but so common. Was that the case though? Did Bentley disapprove of Scout too? Aaron tried to loosen the expression on his face but he knew that he would have to talk to his brother sooner or later. He wouldn't let history repeat itself, not if he could help it.

THUD! Not more than ten minutes later and it seemed that sooner was going to come a lot earlier than expected. Immediately his eyes darted up from the children before him as he heard a large commotion coming from the other room. Simultaneously, Scout began screaming her little lungs out and tears formed in her precious blue eyes. It didn't take a genius to know what had happened, anyone that had lived in this house for longer than a week knew, Bentley had lost his temper again. By now he would be in the other room coaxing his little brother to knock it off but he had the baby in his hand. It was too dangerous and he didn't have anyone to pass her off to. Diane was occupied upstairs and Cherise was no where to be seen. He waited it out and figured that if it got bad enough then someone, Cherise, Milo, or Diane, would relieve him of baby duty and he would set his younger brother straight. Although, that didn't happen, instead he watched as, shortly after, Bentley came walking through the living room and out the front door. The entire time there eyes were locked and Aaron felt so deeply for him. "What the ********, Bentley." At that point things began to unfold and answers were flying because Diane had made her way downstairs and began to set things straight. Once he overheard that Milo called him Ben he closed his eyes and shook his head. "s**t." It was so soft and too himself because he knew the damage that had been done. No one, ever, called him that because Bentley would alway freak out when they did and it was live and let live thing. No one knew the reason behind it, just him, and that was because he had lived through all the times where their father had called him that. Shortly after, he watched as Diane walked up and soothed the baby and with that he smiled at her. She was a natural, all the years of being the "mom" here had paid off. The baby had quieted down and he began to rock her back to sleep, as she was before everything went flying off the handle, as Diane made her way out to her ex boyfriend. Here it went, the usual back and fourth of things that he knew all to well from the times that he would be stuck in the middle of it. The bossy young women would push him to no end and his a*****e younger brother would mouth off, in result the two would combust.

One step at a time he took the stairs up to his brother who he knew was in Diane's room. In the past hour of his day more had happened to him than he ever could have asked for. A gruff sigh escaped his lips as he thought of the incident unfolding. It hadn't been five minutes before Bentley was walking inside of the house with Diane's limp body in his arms. He got to his feet and passed off the baby to Cherise before calling her doctor. She hadn't had an episode like this in a long time and so he dialed as fast as his hands were willing him too. Once the doctor arrived they checked on her and she explained to him what was going on since he was technically second in charge here. It was important for him to know, in case anything you know....happened. After everything he watched as his brother snuck up to Diane's room to be alone with her, but it had been long enough. Slowly he opened the door and nodded for him to come out to talk to him. This had all gone way too far and he needed answers from him, now. "Alright, what happened out there between you too." When they were outside it was literally on five minutes and the next thing he knew the world had been turned upside down. Seriously, what so bad happened in that gap of time where Diane's body just gave up on her? Was she just really so sick and couldn't hold herself up? Did Bentley verbally abuse her as always? Or worse, did Bentley strike her and knock her out? "She's really sick, Bentley. What's your plan? What happens if anything were to happen to her?" He quickly continued talking in order to dismiss the previous thought in his head. There was no way he had hit her. Bentley had hit Aaron but only in times where he was splitting him up from another person. He was blind when he did it, but that was the issue. Did he get so worked up that he blindly hit Diane? "Are you joking? At any moment the entirety of Scout's responsibility could fall on your shoulders and you don't even care." Once his little brother started going off about him not being there for him, he was baffled. Aaron was always there to pick up Bentley, no matter the case. Who was always there to sit at Bentley's corner no matter how wrong he was? Aaron. Who was always taking care of and hanging out with him so he would have someone to be around? Aaron. Who got him out of that s**t hole they called home, even though he was the golden child. Even though both of his parents had no problem with him and treated him like a complete prince, risking his own happiness for his little brothers? AARON. "That's bullshit and you know it." He watched as his little brothers feelings unraveled in the air between him and instantaneously his stomach was in knots. He didn't disapprove of Scout. He wasn't anything like James. He was trying to give Scout her best chance but ignoring her isn't the right way. Aaron was just about to elaborate on that thought but before he could get the words out, Bentley was on his way.

[c u p p ii e]

How could one boy be so troubled? How could one brother be so calm and the other such a problem case? Aaron knew that it had something to do with how they were raised, his dad being a monster and his mom such a saint. Although, a saint wouldn't let their husband physically abuse there own child for reasons that Aaron would never understand. As much as Aaron pretended that he had answers to everything and anything, he didn't. Especially, if it had something to do with his home life. Like why did Naomi let James beat Bentley all the time? This was sweet little Bentley who had stars in his eyes and innocence still left in his heart. What in life happened to James to make him turn his back on his family like that? He hadn't alway been like that because Aaron had never been treated like that. At a young age, as no child should, he saw and watched a his dad grew into something gruesome. What changed? What in Bentley brought out that side in him? What was he difference between the two boys aside from the obvious age difference of a measly two years? What the hell happened in those two years? Occasionally, mostly on nights where Bentley had an episode, he would ask himself these questions repeatedly. Had he missed something? No, he couldn't have because even though Aaron had been just a boy, the memories were so clear in his mind. This always brought him to his next and final question, had he failed him as a brother or was he destined to be that way. Ever since Bentley was roughly five years old he had taken care of him here at the Orphanage. Every problem that Bentley had was Aaron's problem and everyone here knew that except for he most important person, Bentley himself. Although, everything that he had done for him, every correct path that he had set his little brother on, could it had been clouded by James' mentality? These were the questions that held the blonde male up at night.

When the younger of the two walked off Aaron just stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what his next move would be. For the first time in so many years Bentley finally confided in him and he didn't know how to take it or what to with that bit of information. Part of him was angry at him for claiming that he was never there for him. How could he say that? How could his little brother so strongly believe that? The other part of him felt for him because he understood that he didn't want to end up like their dad. Bentley and James, two in the same, but could Bentley become more than that? As said, it kept Aaron up at night and apparently it kept Bentley up as well. With that in his head he decided that he had to run off and go assure him and tell him how he was wrong about everything. Wrong about how Aaron was going to let anyone end up like James Mathias Hale. Just as he was about to walk off he hear the doorknob turn beside him and quickly turned around. There Diane was standing with tears in her eyes, which meant that she had hear everything. He felt slightly relieved because she needed to hear the truth as much as he did but his older brother instincts kicked in and took over. Aaron was seconds away from walking up and hugging her before dragging her back into her room so he could get some rest when Diane slumped to the floor. She began to unload as Bentley had done moments before. "It's okay, Diane." He let out a small sigh and then moved in closer on her. At that point he knelt dow in front ofher and gently wiped the tears from her eyes before locking her gaze. "When you guys first got together you were only thirteen but now you are both a lot older and it's time to grow up a little." Aaron brushed his wet thumbs quickly on his jeans after he removed some of the water from her face. It honestly hadn't done much good because of the excess crying but it had been the action itself that counted. He was trying to soothe as much as he possibly coul because after everything that happened over the last couple of days, he could only imagine how she was feeling. "It seems like both of you are a bit broken and a bit lost at the moment." His mind flashed to how pained his little brothers face looked when he finally admitted that he was scared. Nearly, he winced at the thought before continuing, "But there's someone downstairs who is whole and pure and perfect. Something I know that is still inside of the both of you some where.

But there's someone downstairs who is just as lost? Do you two want to be the cause of her being broken

He had always been so easy on her but now it wasn't just the two of them anymore. There was a third player in their game that they now had to consider.

[c u p p ii e]

xx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxᗩarℴn ℂristℴ℘hℯr ℍaℐℯ

♫♪

Hᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀɪᴛʜ ɪɴ ᴍᴇ cᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛʜᴀᴛ I'ᴠᴇ sᴇᴇɴ I ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ. sᴏ

ᴄʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴛ ɢᴏ. yᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ

ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴇᴇᴍ. I sᴀɪᴅ I'ᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴅɪᴅ. I sᴀɪᴅ

I'ᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴀʟʟ ᴀɴᴅ I ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ɪᴛ. Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ

ᴛʜᴇɴ I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴅɪᴅ. Yᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ғɪɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴀɢᴀɪɴ I'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ

Cᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴇᴛs I ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ. Sᴏ ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ

ɪᴛ's ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʏ ɪɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. Oʜ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ. I'ʟʟ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀғᴇ

ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ

♫♪

How could one boy be so troubled? How could one brother be so calm and the other such a problem case? Aaron knew that it had something to do with how they were raised, his dad being a monster and his mom such a saint. Although, a saint wouldn't let their husband physically abuse there own child for reasons that Aaron would never understand. As much as Aaron pretended that he had answers to everything and anything, he didn't. Especially, if it had something to do with his home life. Like why did Naomi let James beat Bentley all the time? This was sweet little Bentley who had stars in his eyes and innocence still left in his heart. What in life happened to James to make him turn his back on his family like that? He hadn't alway been like that because Aaron had never been treated like that. At a young age, as no child should, he saw and watched a his dad grew into something gruesome. What changed? What in Bentley brought out that side in him? What was he difference between the two boys aside from the obvious age difference of a measly two years? What the hell happened in those two years? Occasionally, mostly on nights where Bentley had an episode, he would ask himself these questions repeatedly. Had he missed something? No, he couldn't have because even though Aaron had been just a boy, the memories were so clear in his mind. This always brought him to his next and final question, had he failed him as a brother or was he destined to be that way. Ever since Bentley was roughly five years old he had taken care of him here at the Orphanage. Every problem that Bentley had was Aaron's problem and everyone here knew that except for he most important person, Bentley himself. Although, everything that he had done for him, every correct path that he had set his little brother on, could it had been clouded by James' mentality? These were the questions that held the blonde male up at night.

When the younger of the two walked off Aaron just stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what his next move would be. For the first time in so many years Bentley finally confided in him and he didn't know how to take it or what to with that bit of information. Part of him was angry at him for claiming that he was never there for him. How could he say that? How could his little brother so strongly believe that? The other part of him felt for him because he understood that he didn't want to end up like their dad. Bentley and James, two in the same, but could Bentley become more than that? As said, it kept Aaron up at night and apparently it kept Bentley up as well. With that in his head he decided that he had to run off and go assure him and tell him how he was wrong about everything. Wrong about how Aaron was going to let anyone end up like James Mathias Hale. Just as he was about to walk off he hear the doorknob turn beside him and quickly turned around. There Diane was standing with tears in her eyes, which meant that she had hear everything. He felt slightly relieved because she needed to hear the truth as much as he did but his older brother instincts kicked in and took over. Aaron was seconds away from walking up and hugging her before dragging her back into her room so he could get some rest when Diane slumped to the floor. She began to unload as Bentley had done moments before. "It's okay, Diane." He let out a small sigh and then moved in closer on her. At that point he knelt dow in front ofher and gently wiped the tears from her eyes before locking her gaze. "When you guys first got together you were only thirteen but now you are both a lot older and it's time to grow up a little." Aaron brushed his wet thumbs quickly on his jeans after he removed some of the water from her face. It honestly hadn't done much good because of the excess crying but it had been the action itself that counted. He was trying to soothe as much as he possibly coul because after everything that happened over the last couple of days, he could only imagine how she was feeling. "It seems like both of you are a bit broken and a bit lost at the moment." His mind flashed to how pained his little brothers face looked when he finally admitted that he was scared. Nearly, he winced at the thought before continuing, " But there's someone downstairs who is just as lost." He had always been so easy on her but now it wasn't just the two of them anymore. There was a third player in their game that they now had to consider. " Do you two want to be the cause of her being broken?" For the next few years of Scout's life she was going to be so young and impressionable. How every the two decided to raise her was going to be set in stone for the rest of her life. Bentley was raised by two parents who weren't even remotely on the same page and had unsolved issues, look what happened to him? If the two didn't figure things out who knew what would become Scout? "I don't know where Bentley ran off too but I'll help you look." Slowly Aaron got to his feet and extended his hand down to hers. It was time to fix things wether they liked it or not. He wasn't expecting them to come back hand in hand as a couple, he was just hoping that they could compromise for the daughters sake.

[c u p p ii e]

Two by two he took the steps in hopes of getting out of the house as quickly as possible, As he went his eyes began to fill with more tears which just cause the anger inside of him to be fueled even further. He was mad at everyone and now even himself for being so weak and letting himself get to where he was right at this very moment. Bentley couln't bare having anyone else see himself like this and so he pushed out the front door and headed as far from the Orphanage as his body would take him. Once the fresh air hit his face he assumed his body would relax a litte bit, and he would be able to clear his head, but instead things went completely south. Instantly, his chest began to tighten and his breathing grew even heavier. The young brunette grabbed at his chest for a quick second before letting go and placing his hand back down by his side. His fist were clenched, trying to persuade his mind to think about something else but nothing was working. By now his body would have switched gears but things were just getting worse and worse. Was he having a panic attack? Bentley wasn't too sure because he had never gotten that far. He would always replace the fear with anger, but what he was feeling was completely new. In his head he kept cursing at himself and tell himself to man up as his pace nearly grew into a sprint.

Before he had realized it and until he couln't take it any longer he had made it way out of town near the train tracks. No one was around; just him, the tracks, and the tree's that surrounded him. At this point his mind was racing and he felt like his heart was going to impload. "I can't breathe. ********, I can't breathe." What was he going to do? He was running out of moves an suddenly it felt like he was backed into a corner. Diane was sick and he wasn't ready to be a father on his own. He wasn't even ready to be a father even now when he did have Diane. Scout was too perfect and she didn't deserve to have a parent that was so unfit and messed up. In that exact moment he heard the train coming and his head lifted it up to where the noise was coming from. Without even a second thought he took a step forward and on to the actual tracks itself. Bentley's mind was blank all of sudden except for the loud roar from the whistle of the oncoming train. A few short moments flew by and the sounds became real as it came barreling around the curve of the track. "Run, Bentley. Run!" With only time to spare he ran the other way and into a near by to hold up his legs that nearly didn't co-operate. All the tears that had been sitting inside of him began to stream out of his face. "What the hell was that?" It had been years since he had made an attempt on his life and the time before was planned and thought out. He thought he was far past that chapter in his life but apparently not if the darkness was creeping in and telling himself to do something he wasn't willing. Luckily, last time, he had someone there to stop him but this time could have gone way differently. Quickly a growl erupted from his lips as he regained his balance and he hit the tree before him. Bentley wiped away his tears with his sleeves and then took a seat on the grass below him. It was time to calm down the only way that he knew he could any more.r

The sun had set hours ago and Bentley watched as it went to down and disappeared into the tree's that surrounded him. He thought about going back to the Orphanage at that point but he decided he was still too stoned. After the last time he went back, under the influence, he decided that he wasn't ever going to go do that again. In the past he had done it time and time again, but the last time triggered him and he wasn't ready for that especially after today. So after he sun had disappeared he walked the streets of the city until his head was completely clear before deciding it was time to head back and catch up on some sleep. As he walked up the stairs of the Orphanage they were coming into the wee hours of the morning, nearly two a.m. to be exact. In the most quiet way he could Bentley made his way up to his room and slid into a sweater and some shorts before laying down on his bed. It had been an extremely exhausting day and so he figured he would pass out almost immediately but instead he caught himself starring up at the ceiling. He gave himself a solid ten minutes before he slid his legs off the bed and wiped his face with an unsettling sigh. As he looked up he caught sight of his guitar, something he hadn't touched in a long while. The young male would always use it as a form of self expression but as of late he hadn't felt much aside from anger and resentment. In that moment he grabbed the instrument from it's stand before opening up his window and crawling out on to the roof. Slowly he strummed it a few times before song popped into his head and he began to sing.

"Give up and go home, alone, and suffer some more."

In all the years that he has been at the Orphanage he had never been happy here except for the short time that he was with Diane. Now that he's alone this place is only a haunted memory for him and just constant suffering.

"This head of stone lets no one in anymore."

He has pushed so many people away in his life, especially in the last two years. Everyone is so quick to give him advice but he doesn't want it. He doesn't need anyone and refuses to ask for help, especially when he so desperatly needs it.

"My effort is never enough."

No matter how hard he has ever tried in his life, it's never been enough. It's always wrong on matter how strongly he believes that he is doing the right thing. When he was younger, he just wanted his dad to love him but it wasn't enough. When he got with Diane, no matter how hard he tried to make her happy it was never enough. As an adult, he has Scout now an he's afraid to even try because he knows that he's just never enough.

"You have no idea how unproductive it is to fall in and out of you as often as I do."

Bentley loves Diane with his entire being, that's how it's been and no matter how much he denies it, deep down inside he knows that's how it'll always be. He considers her to be the best thing that has ever happened to him and it's the honest truth because with out her he feels so lost. Every time they get together and break up, it hurts even worse than the last. It's always one step forward and two steps back between the two of them.

"Cause I'm young but I'm tired an sore."

A person can only take so much before they're at their breaking point. At such a young age he had to grow up and no child should ever experience that. As the lyrics left his lips an image of the train flashed in his mind and he winced at the thought. For a split second his fingers froze but quickly he shook his head and fumbled with the next cords to get back on track.

"Never again will I let someone in."

Every person he has let into his life has only made things worse for him. His dad beat him. His mom let him. Aaron stopped caring. Cherise began to judge him. And Diane stopped loving him.

"You have no idea how unproductive it is to all in and out of you as often a I do."

Once he finished the song his hands clung on to the guitar for dear life. Gently he closed his eyes and took a deep breathe in to settle his thoughts. His eyes felt tired, his body felt tired, and his mind was exhausted and yet he was wide awake.

[c u p p ii e]

ＢｅｎｔｌｅｙＪａｃｏｂ Ｈａｌｅ

Two by two he took the steps in hopes of getting out of the house as quickly as possible, As he went his eyes began to fill with more tears which just cause the anger inside of him to be fueled even further. He was mad at everyone and now even himself for being so weak and letting himself get to where he was right at this very moment. Bentley couln't bare having anyone else see himself like this and so he pushed out the front door and headed as far from the Orphanage as his body would take him. Once the fresh air hit his face he assumed his body would relax a litte bit, and he would be able to clear his head, but instead things went completely south. Instantly, his chest began to tighten and his breathing grew even heavier. The young brunette grabbed at his chest for a quick second before letting go and placing his hand back down by his side. His fist were clenched, trying to persuade his mind to think about something else but nothing was working. By now his body would have switched gears but things were just getting worse and worse. Was he having a panic attack? Bentley wasn't too sure because he had never gotten that far. He would always replace the fear with anger, but what he was feeling was completely new. In his head he kept cursing at himself and tell himself to man up as his pace nearly grew into a sprint.

Before he had realized it and until he couln't take it any longer he had made it way out of town near the train tracks. No one was around; just him, the tracks, and the tree's that surrounded him. At this point his mind was racing and he felt like his heart was going to impload. "I can't breathe. ********, I can't breathe." What was he going to do? He was running out of moves an suddenly it felt like he was backed into a corner. Diane was sick and he wasn't ready to be a father on his own. He wasn't even ready to be a father even now when he did have Diane. Scout was too perfect and she didn't deserve to have a parent that was so unfit and messed up. In that exact moment he heard the train coming and his head lifted it up to where the noise was coming from. Without even a second thought he took a step forward and on to the actual tracks itself. Bentley's mind was blank all of sudden except for the loud roar from the whistle of the oncoming train. A few short moments flew by and the sounds became real as it came barreling around the curve of the track. "Run, Bentley. Run!" With only time to spare he ran the other way and into a near by tree to hold up his legs that nearly didn't co-operate. All the tears that had been sitting inside of him began to stream down his face. "What the hell was that?" It had been years since he had made an attempt on his life and the time before was planned and thought out. He thought he was far past that chapter in his life but apparently not if the darkness was creeping in and telling himself to do something he wasn't willing. Luckily, last time, he had someone there to stop him but this time could have gone way differently. Quickly a growl erupted from his lips as he regained his balance and he hit the tree before him. Bentley wiped away his tears with his sleeves and then took a seat on the grass below him. It was time to calm down the only way that he knew he could any more.

The sun had set hours ago and Bentley watched as it went to down and disappeared into the tree's that surrounded him. He thought about going back to the Orphanage at that point but he decided he was still too stoned. After the last time he went back, under the influence, he decided that he wasn't ever going to go do that again. In the past he had done it time and time again, but the last time triggered him and he wasn't ready for that especially after today. So after he sun had disappeared he walked the streets of the city until his head was completely clear before deciding it was time to head back and catch up on some sleep. As he walked up the stairs of the Orphanage they were coming into the wee hours of the morning, nearly two a.m. to be exact. In the most quiet way he could Bentley made his way up to his room and slid into a sweater and some shorts before laying down on his bed. It had been an extremely exhausting day and so he figured he would pass out almost immediately but instead he caught himself starring up at the ceiling. He gave himself a solid ten minutes before he slid his legs off the bed and wiped his face with an unsettling sigh. As he looked up he caught sight of his guitar, something he hadn't touched in a long while. The young male would always use it as a form of self expression but as of late he hadn't felt much aside from anger and resentment. In that moment he grabbed the instrument from it's stand before opening up his window and crawling out on to the roof. Slowly he strummed it a few times before song popped into his head and he began to sing.

"Give up and go home, alone, and suffer some more." In all the years that he has been at the Orphanage he had never been happy here except for the short time that he was with Diane. Now that he's alone this place is only a haunted memory for him and just constant suffering. "This head of stone lets no one in anymore." He has pushed so many people away in his life, especially in the last two years. Everyone is so quick to give him advice but he doesn't want it. He doesn't need anyone and refuses to ask for help, especially when he so desperatly needs it. "My effort is never enough." No matter how hard he has ever tried in his life, it's never been enough. It's always wrong no matter how strongly he believes that he is doing the right thing. When he was younger, he just wanted his dad to love him but it wasn't enough. When he got with Diane, no matter how hard he tried to make her happy it was never enough. As an adult, he has Scout now an he's afraid to even try because he knows that he's just never enough. "You have no idea how unproductive it is to fall in and out of you as often as I do." Bentley loves Diane with his entire being, that's how it's been and no matter how much he denies it, deep down inside he knows that's how it'll always be. He considers her to be the best thing that has ever happened to him and it's the honest truth because with out her he feels so lost. Every time they get together and break up, it hurts even worse than the last. It's always one step forward and two steps back between the two of them. "Cause I'm young but I'm tired an sore." A person can only take so much before they're at their breaking point. At such a young age he had to grow up and no child should ever experience that. As the lyrics left his lips an image of the train flashed in his mind and he winced at the thought. For a split second his fingers froze but quickly he shook his head and fumbled with the next cords to get back on track. "Never again will I let someone in." Every person he has let into his life has only made things worse for him. His dad beat him. His mom let him. Aaron stopped caring. Cherise began to judge him. And Diane stopped loving him. "You have no idea how unproductive it is to all in and out of you as often a I do." The last lyrics almost came out in a whisper because of the deep and truth that it held. Once he finished the song his hands clung on to the guitar for dear life. Gently he closed his eyes and took a deep breathe in to settle his thoughts. His eyes felt tired, his body felt tired, and his mind was exhausted and yet he was wide awake. Instead of heading back inside he knew it would be of no use so he opened his eyes and let them wander over to their meadow. Añ image of Bentley and Diane running through it as kids motioned through his mind and caused a small smile to form on his face. Everything was so simple at one time, what happened? Bentley stopped smiling at the thought and then looked down at his guitar, unable to gaze at the meadow any longer.

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕤𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕚𝕟, 𝕚𝕟 𝕒𝕟 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥. 𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕕. 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕀 𝕘𝕠 𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕪 𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤𝕥, 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕

𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕥𝕙. 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕀 r𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕕. 𝕀 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕙𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕡

𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕪. 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒 𝕓𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟. 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕟. ℂ𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤, 𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕛𝕦𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕀 𝕒𝕞.

[c u p p ii e]

Slowly his eyes crawled up the neck of the guitar before it stopped at his knuckles that were nearly turning white. Once he noticed he released his grip and his skin color began to appear once more, but it didn't stop there. It went past his soft pink tone and continued into a deep red that gradually grew to be darker and darker. At that point he lifted his hand to analyze the marks of blue and purple that had been left from earlier today, twice. Once from the iron fence to the meadow and a second from the tree over by the train tracks. Bentley flexed his hand and then placed it back on the guitar before letting out a frustrated sigh. As of late he had so many emotions going on inside of him, fighting against one another and he just didn't know how to cope anymore. This lead him to be angry and now he continously catches himself becoming agressive after it's far too late. Honestly, he did't want to be like this, he knew it was wrong and yet it was just another thing that he wouldn't admit to anyone, even himself. Over the past few years, his anger has just grown and grown and grown. It's bloomed into a full blown issue to where the young male couldn't even remember the last time he hadn't used violence to solve one of his problems. He tried to think back but it was just one clip of him swinging at someone, or something, after another. At the age of thirteen there was another boy here, Kane was his name, that he would always pick fights with over every single thing. At the age of sixteen he nearly beat Esteban senseless and even though he deserved it, it was extremely excessive. He could have really, permanantley, hurt him if Aaron wouldn't have stopped him. Now, at the age of nineteen he had picked a fight with a housemate that simply called him a nickname that he disliked. Those three were the major ones and didn't include the ones that he even got into on the streets while he's out alone. There had been numerous times that Bentley would come home beaten up, just to be stared and judged by everyone in the house. Not to mention all of the holes that had to be covered in his room from him punching holes in it. After fixing so many of them he got smart and started to take it outside so it wouldn't be his problem if there had been damage at all.

Gently he placed the guitar on his lap before he raised his left hand and ran it over the mess of scratches and bruises with a small combination of dried blood. Just as he was about to make contact he heard a voice coming from inside of his room and he nearly jumped at the sound. Immediately his heart began to race and he began to wonder how long she had been standing inside of his room. How much had she heard? Was she there for the song? She wasn't mean't to hear any of it. A frowned formed on his face and he grew defensive, "What are you even doing in my room?" Yes, it was her Orphanage and had been ever since her grandmother's passing but he felt as if they had a mutual understanding. He no longer went into her room and she was no longer welcomed in his. The only exception was earlier when she had been on her bed but that was because he wasn't sure if she was going to wake up. Before that, the last time had really been in there, was months go on the morning he invited her to go to the beach with him. He remembered it vividly and he wasn't a hundred percent sure as to why, maybe because it was the last time. One of the last good moments they had before everything had changed. Diane had hurt her knee and Bentley decided to take her to the beach to make her feel better. He teased and teased her, claiming that he wasn't too sure if she was able to go because of her injury. It was a really good morning, unlike now, unlike the fight that he was assuming they were about to have. At that point he grabbed his guitar and climbed into his room, so ready to tell her to remove herself from it. Although, as soon as he got both legs and and looked up, he nearly stopped in his tracks. There was sweet little Scout in her arms, wide eyed and with her cheeks burning a faint pink just as her daddy's were now. He was in awe for a short moment before he shook it off and processed what she had said. "What about her?" Immediately he broke away from the sight and walked over to his guitar stand. Bentley put it in his place and slid his sleeve over his hand slightly, just enough to cover his knuckles. For the first time, he was embarrassed over his marks and made the effort for them not to be seen.

[c u p p ii e]

Instead of closing the gap between them and repositioning himself where he was when he first came back in through the window, he decided to stay put. With being next to his guitar stand there was distance and that's what he liked. Bentley was distant in all aspect of life and with everything he did. He didn't like to get close to people phsyically or emotionally because bad things always happened when he did. When they were young Aaron and Bentley use to be the two closest siblings anyone had ever seen. As adults, Aaron has now moved out of the Orphanage and seems like he has given up on him. Cherise and Bentley use to be two peas in a pod, always asking each other for advice and hanging out as friends. That was until a year a half ago, now they can't even say a simple hello to each other in the halls as they pass each other. Now there was Diane, his soulmate, plain and simple and yet here they were having a conversation about how they were going to share their daughter. Basically, asking if there was a way to be out of each others and yet both in Scout's. As soon as she responded to his question his fist clenched again in frustration. That smart mouth, the one that he used to love and there was his temper, the one she alway hated. Of course it was his dominant hand, which also was the one that has been used all day to hit things. Immediatley he winced at the pain as his hand formed into a ball only to quickly be released. His hand was battered and bruised and without having much adrenaline in him, it was going to be sore. He was just about to bite back with a rude remark when she began to appologize for her quick wit. Bentley decided not to say anything because after today he wasn't sure what was going to come out of his mouth. Honestly, after today, after all the extremes, he wasn't sure of much of anything. At that point he heard the whistling of the train in his ears and his eyes widened half a fraction. How long was he going to be haunted by this? It had only been a few hours but how was it going to be when he was finally able to fall asleep? How would he be in a week? How much longer until he lost control over himself again? Wether it be his temper or his mind, he was a ticking time bomb.

A deep pull was pushing on his shoulders, caressing his body, snaking over his torso, down to his legs, and up his throat. It nearly felt like he couldn't breathe again when it suddenly vanished at Diane's words. "You'll love your daddy, Bentley." It was the first time anyone had spoken about him being a father in a positive light. The way she said it genuinely sounded like she believed it was true and for a short second he believed it to when Scout smiled up at her mother. Quickly he looked up at Diane's face and squared his shoulders when she decided to start asking him serious questions. This was not the talk he was expecting to have, this was not the talk he expected for himself to have ever. None of this was supposed to be this way. At her question his head began to move a million miles a minute. If Scout was to stay in Diane's room for a while he would have to face her a whole lot more often and who knows how that would end up. Now a days, every time they faced each other, they ended up arguing. On the other hand, if Scout's room was set up he would have a whole lot more responsibilities but he woul also get to be alone with there daughter. At that thought his mind immdiatley halted and he answered, "She can just stay in your room. It doesn't matter, Diane." The thought of being alone with their daughter was unacceptable as the thought of losing control rang in his mind once more. Diane then continued to say how Scout seemed as if she wanted him in her life but how was she to know? She was only a baby and had no idea even who her father was on the inside.

At that point he felt like this was the end and he as just about to head for his bed when Diane asked if he wanted to hold their daughter. His throat tightened and the pulse of his heart beat fet defiant in his bruised hand. He wasn't ready, he couldn't do it. Also, Diane had watched him hit the iron gate but wasn't there for when he had struck the tree. What if she began to ask questions? Bentley wasn't ready to relive that part of his day for the third time in the last six hours. So he took a deep breathe and decided to put her off the only way he knew how in this moment. He looked her dead in he eyes and said, "I smoked before I came back and haven't taken a shower." About two years ago, at the age of sixteen he picked up smoking cigarettes and then just last year he upgraded to marijuana. Diane was never to keen on the cigarettes, always claiming that his mouth tasted like an ashtray, but with drugs she wouldn't have it but by then it didn't matter. They were no longer dating and she had no say on his life style any longer. It was his escape and the only way he was learning how to cope with himself for the time being. Finally he walked across the room, closing the distance and then reopening it once more as he sat on his bed. Even though his heart was racing, he calmly pulled off his sweater an revealed his bare chest. This was his way of telling her that he was done with this conversation and he was ready for bed.

[c u p p ii e]

xxxxxxxxxx

Je serai poete et toi poesie ✎↻, Je serai poete et toi poesie ✎↻ .☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲I'll be a poet, and you'll be poetry. ✎↻ I'll be a poet, and you'll be poetry.
ſǝ sǝɹɐı doǝʇǝ ǝʇ ʇoı doǝsıǝ ✈ ſǝ sǝɹɐı doǝʇǝ ǝʇ ʇoı doǝsıǝ ☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲I,ll qǝ ɐ doǝʇ 'ɐup ʎno,ll qǝ doǝʇɹʎ˙ ✈ II,ll qǝ ɐ doǝʇ 'ɐup ʎno,ll qǝ doǝʇɹʎ˙



ＣＡＬＬＵＭ xxxxxx T H E O ＲＯＵＸxxxxxxxxxxxxxxfrench ⋮ foreign exchange

[c u p p ii e]

❝ It got lost ↺ along the way.

This is ᴍ ᴇ , honestly.
I've got no ✗ apologies.

I'm done chasing ✈ things that don't belong to me.

This is real, it's how I feel, with one shoulder on the wheel ☲☲☲

What I'm searching for grows ☼ f u r t h e r out of r e a c h . ❞
• 
  
  
  If you took a look outside right about now, you'd see a fresh blanket of snow on the ground and snowflakes in the air. During the wee hours of the morning on that day the snow began to fall, it was the first of the season, and it hadn't stopped since. It was sure a sight to see, especially at this time of day. The sun was just settling into the skyline which caused the colors to paint a magnificent imagine on to the snow itself due to the vibrance and purity. Any normal person would stay at their window and watch the spectacle, but not Jaime. As soon as he noticed the sun coming down he pulled at the curtains and shut them immediately. When Jaime was younger, this was his and his moms day. Every first snowfall she would bundle him up in his warmest clothes and the two would stand out on the in the meadow of their extravagant countryside home to watch it. He had vivid memories of it that would constantly come back to him at this time of year. The smell of the crisp air that smelled much like rain. The sound of the wind whipping past him and the tree's rustling all around them. The softness of the snow at his fingertips and the taste of slush on his tongue from catching the snowflakes. Then, once the sun had completely vanished, the two would find refuge and a snowball fight would commence. It all seemed like such a wonderful time, so why was he so upset at the sight of it all these years later? At the age of twelve, just at the end of fall, just before their yearly tradition, his mom passed away and it changed something in him. His dad never stuck around, he never understood why, and his mom never remarried, which mean't he was an only child. This caused him to feel more alone in his life than he could ever imagine, more than he could even comprehend. He grew to be this angry little kid who didn't want to get close to anyone. Jaime was sent to live with his aunt and uncle and everything they did was never good enough either. The two were wealthy, just as his mother, and spent a ton of money getting him help from therapists but nothing worked. Anyone that tried to help him through this time was pushed away and it really hadn't changed much at all over the years. He was a a lot less angry, but he very much stuck to being independent. It was Jaime and Jaime alone.
  
  Seven years later and still he was living in his aunt and uncles home just miles away from all these memories. If it was up to him, he would be living on his own in an apartment several states away but that wasn't how this worked. Due to his who he was related too, he was offered jobs right out of high school. He was more than eager to take them, more than eager get out of Colorado, but it was quickly ripped away from his much like a lot of things in his life. His uncle immediately stepped in and told them no before demanding that he went to straight away to college. So, that's what he did, he had no other choice but head to university and that's where he was headed tonight. No, he wasn't taking any night classes but instead he was going to go to a frat party. Word had began to float around a few short hours ago and as soon as he got wind of it, he was in. Honestly, in the short thirteen months that he had been going there he had spent more time partying and less time studying. Jaime was smart, extremely smart, but he didn't feel the need to apply himself. He was fine regardless and his life was set after college with or with out a degree. So he figured as long as he had passing grades, what was the point in stressing out over it all? The kid only spent time doing things that he felt was worth his time or effort and partying was in the top ten. No, he wasn't a burn out. No, he wasn't an alcoholic. No, he didn't have a drug problem. He just found that partying was the best way to get him out of his head and keep him busy. So with that in mind he headed upstairs and got changed into something that would work for tonight. Shortly after he headed back downstairs and grabbed his keys to his car before heading out. It was still very early in the evening, roughly six, and the party wasn't going to start until at least ten. The idea was that they were all going to meet at a friends house and pregame beforehand.
  
  Hours of consuming alcohol and talking stories had passed before they finally decided it was time to get going. As they walked out the door of their buddies house Jaime assessed the situations and as per usual, they were all on different levels. One of them was jagged and Jaime already knew by the end of the night that the DD of the group was going to have to drag him out. The other being higher than a kite and laughing at everything that the drunk guy did. Then there was Jaime and the DD, the only two sober of the four. Jaime wasn't much of drinker, he would usually consume a bottle or two of beer during. He liked to be level headed because a lot of the times, at the parties, he would end up getting himself into trouble. Nothing bad, nothing serious, he just had a tendency of sleeping around. He was charismatic and charming as all hell and as self centered as it sounded, it was simple for him. A lot of the time, it wasn't even his idea. He was the one being pulled into a room and not the other way around. He would hook up with girls and leave shortly after or as soon as they fell asleep, depending on the situation. Zero commitment. It didn't happen every time, Jaime was just as picky as he was sleazy. Just as he assessed his friends, he would assess the women he went after as well. He needed to know that nothing was going to change. He didn't know why he was this way, he didn't necessarily like it. He knew it was wrong and immoral but the process of being with someone for a short period and then leaving them made him feel like he was in control. He was able to get close with someone and it was up to him to decide when enough was enough, which happened pretty quickly with him. He had relationships in the past, but nothing ever lasted. If he recalled correctly, his longest time with someone had been a few short months during his sophomore year of high school. For what ever reason, he just couldn't get passed this wall. After a while he would just feel like it was all to much and just drop them as if they never existed. During his junior of high school he had lost his virginity and that was the start of it all. Once he knew what he was doing, he began to sleep around. He didn't do it too often, hardly ever, sleeping around in high school was messy. Rumors would start, reputations would be solidified, so he waited and then he hit college. His first year was a whirlwind and now being that he's a sophomore, he was a force to be reckoned with. He had a rhythm down and he was good at what he did. This was the first big party of the year, and that was his plan as he headed to his car. "I'll meet you guys there." As always, he took his own. With everything that usually happened, he was on his own. He needed to know, that with what every happened tonight, he was ready. So with that, he followed the car in front of him all the way to the raging house full of college students.
  
  ooc: click on layout for outfit. c:

[c u p p ii e]

❝ Looking qɐɔʞback ↲ when we were younger ↓

every mistake was a chance that we could take,
now I think I'm just getting colder ☁.

Where's my 𝕟𝕒𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕥𝕪? ❞

[c u p p ii e]

Jaime wasn't much of a drinker, he would usually consume a bottle or two of beer during. He liked to be level headed because a lot of the times, at the parties, he would end up getting himself into trouble. Nothing bad, nothing serious, he just had a tendency of sleeping around. He was charismatic and charming as all hell and as self centered as it sounded, it was simple for him. A lot of the time, it wasn't even his idea. He was the one being pulled into a room and not the other way around. He would hook up with girls and leave shortly after or as soon as they fell asleep, depending on the situation. Zero commitment.

[c u p p ii e]

ＢｅｎｔｌｅｙＪａｃｏｂ Ｈａｌｅ

From the moment that Diane bit her lip he knew that something was wrong, it was her give and he had known that for a long time now. Part of him loved it strongly because he thought it was so cute when she would begin to pout. The high and mighty Diane pouting, that was always fun to watch. Above all else though, especially now a days, mostly it annoyed him to no end because of what it meant. There was something on her mind that she wasn't telling him, she was either hiding something or trying to keep her mouth shut. Presumably, after the events of today, it was the latter but he wasn't going to push it right now. She was keeping quiet and on her way out and that's exactly what he wanted. Bentley was far too emotionally exhausted to sit here and go back and fourth right now, especially with Scout being just a few feet in front of him. So as soon as she said goodnight he felt a huge weight off of his shoulders. "Night." He watched as she walked out of the room with their child in hand before he let out a small sigh. Slowly he took in a deep breathe before he turned off the beside lamp that was illuminating his room and laid back down as he was before. Instantly he closed his eyes and expected to fall asleep, but just as before he was restless. He could hear noises and flashes of today going through his head and it was unsettling. The weight that had just left his shoulders moments ago was back and heavier than ever. This time it was different though, he wasn't angry, he was sad. He didn't understand what he was doing anymore and he was tired, apparently not physically but beyond mentality. With out even thinking he grabbed at his blankets and pulled them up to his chest and over his shoulders, looking for some sort of security. Instead of closing his eyes once more he began to stare at the wall across the room. He assumed that if he looked at it long enough his mind would go blank, and it after a few hours.

When he had gotten home a few hours ago it was two a.m. and as he opened his eyes now and looked at the clock it was six a.m. Overall he had managed to get about two hours of sleep which was good enough, he was happy to of slept at all. Just as he began to look out the window and see the sun beginning to peak over the trees of the forest that stood on the outskirts of the Orphanage, he heard a small cooing coming from down the hall. His head shot over to his door and waited a few moments before he finally decided to get up and go check it out. Slowly and gently, afraid he would wake Diane up, he walked into her room and over to the side of Scouts crib. There she was was, gummy grin and all, with her hands in the air as if she was begging for him to pick her up. He looked down at her and into those giant big blue eyes and it was as if she was telling him it was okay. With a deep breathe he knew, it was time. Ever so cautiously he bent in and wrapped her up in the curves of his arms, the way that he had watched Diane do to all of the small children here over the years. Instantly Scout grabbed at finger and he watched as her eyes slowly began to flutter back to a close. "Scout..." He felt his cheeks become extremely hot as they did when he became flustered. Everything that he was feeling was so overwhelming, but for the first time in a long time, it was good sense of overwhelming. "I know I'm not perfect but you are and you're everything to me." Aside from Diane being the one good thing to happen to him, Scout was the next. All of his worries about his dad and childhood and every other bad thing vanished. Suddenly, he felt like he could do this, he could be a dad. "I love you." Bentley leaned in and kissed the baby on her forehead and when he pulled away, it was no longer Scout in his arms. Everything had shifted, and with what he was starring down at now was more than he could handle. Diane's lifeless and limp body laid there now and all he could manage was a very quiet, "No." He shook her body as the anger welled up in him. "Diane, wake up. You've got to wake up." At that point he was hysterical and pulled her in closer to his body and began to cry heavily. "I can't do this, I can't. No." He wasn't making much sense and that's when he heard another voice. "Get up, Ben. Quit ******** crying." Immediately his head shot up and the scenery had changed. He was no longer in the Orphanage but instead, his childhood home. Before him stood his dad and Diane was suddenly gone. He got to his feet and his head moved around frantically as if she would still be around nearby, but before he could do much looking he felt a heavy hand to his face. As he stumbled back and held his cheek, James continued, "You never became the man you needed to be. Always a disappointment with you. Always so useless." At that point he felt another punch, but this time to his stomach. After seeing Diane in that state he moved right past denial and straight to anger. Immediately he rushed over to James, so ready to tackle him and strike him back but that's when things shifted again. Instead of running into his dad he ran straight into a tree, one that looked so familiar, one that he had visited earlier in that day. Bentley grew to be scared, he didn't want to be back here. Frantically he backed up from it and onto the train tracks. Once his feet hit the railing they felt like they were glued, he was stuck and he couldn't moved. Tossing and turning, trying to be free, trying to run, trying to get away, he began to hear the roar of the train engine inching closer. His head snapped up to see his mom, Aaron, Diane, and Scout all huddled in a tight group out of ways harm. Everyone he loved, every there watch him go. "This is what you wanted. This is what you've been running from. You're done." He watched as his dad came strolling up to his family with his arms crossed over his chest. Throughout the entire thing, his eyes stayed glued to Diane's as the train's light shined on his body, he wanted her to be the last thing he ever saw. Just as he could see her mouthing the words, "I love you" the train came crashing in...

It was a good thing his door was closed because at this point, Bentley was screaming in pain continuously. He began to toss and turn in his bed and couldn't get himself to wake up. Although, as soon as he heard the door open, as soon as he felt Diane's presence, he shot up in his bed with the widest of eyes. Quickly he grabbed at the blankets that had fell and his eyes meet over to hers. Rightfully so, she began to defend herself because any other time he would have told her to simply get out. He didn't want anyone to see him like this but, after what he had seen, he was to distraught to even care. "I...I don't." Surely, he was trying to get his thoughts together and calm his breathing. Was this another dream? The nightmare he just had started exactly like this and he absolutely knew that he couldn't withstand having another. Once she spoke again and she gave him a smile his breathing was becoming less erratic. He wasn't sure how he knew, but just in that smile, he was sure that he was awake. When she continued and asked if it was bad time he slowly shook his head unknowingly. It was a bad time, and extremely bad time, his nightmare had him winded, but it all honesty he couldn't get himself to say otherwise. "I'm fine." That was a lie and he knew it, hell, she probably knew it too or else she wouldn't have swallowed her pride and made her way inside of his room. Presumably she was about to take her leave and with that it slipped out, "Diane, sleep with me tonight." There was in no way he mean't it in a sexual way, he just wanted her there. Bentley knew that her presence alone would put him at ease. All walls were officially down and this was a side she hadn't seen of him in a very long time. The compassionate and vulnerable side, the less angry one. The one that showed him as an actual person and not the monster he had become. The silence began to fill the air just as his cheek grew to be red, he was flustered again. He couldn't believe what he had just asked of her and he wanted to take it back but it was too late. The young male was going to stand his ground and let what ever come, come.

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕤𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕚𝕟, 𝕚𝕟 𝕒𝕟 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥. 𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕕. 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕀 𝕘𝕠 𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕪 𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤𝕥, 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕

𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕥𝕙. 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕀 r𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕕. 𝕀 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕙𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕡

𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕪. 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒 𝕓𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟. 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕟. ℂ𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤, 𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕛𝕦𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕀 𝕒𝕞.

[c u p p ii e]

ＢｅｎｔｌｅｙＪａｃｏｂ Ｈａｌｅ

As the seconds moved by it felt like minutes moving into hours and all he could do was just sit there and wait. He could feel his heart racing once more and a fire that burned so deep in his cheeks. Bentley could only imagine what he looked like right now, but he was there to stand his ground. He stared directly into her eyes, refusing to break eye contact up until she spoke, and once she did he nearly started to regret everything. She wanted to wrap his hand and that was one of the many things he didn't want to talk about tonight or maybe even ever. If he didn't say it out loud or tell anyone, did it ever happen? Yes, but it kept question to a minimum and the less he talked about it, the less he had to relive the events. As he sat there his body became extremely tensed and his mind bounced around his options. Should he let her? Would she really turn away if he refused? How badly did he need her there right now? "Fine." The deal was that he would let her, nothing more and nothing less. The young brunette figured that if she started to get too nosey he could just shut her down really quickly. Once she walked over he scooted over and threw his legs off the side of the bed so she could sit down beside him. When mentioned that it would sting he immediately shrugged it off because he had a strong pain threshold. The kid was constantly in fights, constantly getting hurt, constantly getting cut up, so what was a little disinfectant? Oh boy, was he wrong. It was a lot different when he wasn't angry and full of blinding adrenaline. As soon as she began his eyes widened severly and his left hand grew into a fist. His teeth were tightly gritted and all he wanted to do was pull away but refrained. He just wanted to get it over with so they could move on and he could get some sleep. All of a sudden his body felt weak and his eyes felt heavy for the first time all day.

Quickly she finished and wrapped his hand, only for him to pull it away just as fast. He looked down at it and then flexed his hand a little as she walked away to turn off the lights and get settled. When she returned he let her crawl in, nearest to the wall, and then laid back down himself. For a while, it was quiet and he was okay with that due to the fact that he was actually at peace. His eyes were glued to the ceiling due to him being on his back and his eyes slowly began to flutter. Instinctually, his body tensed up once more just as he was about to drift off. Was he still afraid? With out even thinking, Bentley looked over at Diane and his body gave in to fall asleep. He was literally seconds away from knocking out once more when she began to yell at him. Quickly his eyes flew open, he was awake. He opened his mouth to argue but shook the thought, he was too tired and over it. She could believe what ever she wanted right now because he wasn't going to start. At that point he was about to roll over to face his room, to stop all of this nonsense, when she decided to turn towards him. His breathe nearly hitched when her hazel eyes meet his blue ones as he felt a weird sensation. If you asked him right now how he was feeling, he probably wouldn't have been able to tell you. After seeing her lifeless and then actually having her here now was unexplainable. Once she asked what the sudden change was and that she missed him, he snapped back into reality. This was what he was trying to avoid. His eyes changed two shades darker as if showing how much pain he actually was in and he could feel it. "Diane..." Bentley broke eye contact and looked down at the end of his room and the sunlight beginning to paint the walls. "I'm tired." It sounded like he was just telling her what state he was in, but really it was so much more. He was tired of being mad, he was tired of being scared, he was tired of being alone, and more recently, he was tired of being alive. When she rolled over he let out a small quiet sigh and silence began to fill the air once more. When it became completely quiet he blinked one last time and then he was out cold.

Hours had flown by and he had managed to get a few hours of sleep when his phone had buzzed. Quickly his eyes flew open to him being wrapped around Diane. His arm was firmly around her waist and his head was in the mess of her hair. At some point in the night he began to have a nightmare again and unconsciously moved into her. There was no recollection of this because he definitely wouldn't have done this consciously. When his eyes finally focused and he realized what was going on he gently pulled away and pushed himself up on his elbows. At first he was going to get up right away, but then he was stopped and looked down at Diane. His eyes watched as her shoulder began to rise and fall repeatedly and he was in a slight trance up until his phone went off once more. Finally he snapped out of it and then threw his feet of the bed before grabbing his phone. As soon as he unlocked it and looked at the message a quiet, "s**t," escaped his mouth. Bentley shot up and grabbed a pair of jeans off of the floor and slid the hoodie on that that he was wearing the night before. He walked over to the bed side table to grab his phone and as he did he noticed the beige wrap around his hand. A frown grew on his face almost immediately before he began to unwrap it. Once it was completely free he looked at how brown and purple his hand had actually gotten, from his knuckles down to his wrist. Quickly he shook his head and placed the materials down the table before grabbing his phone and heading out. He took one last glance at his ex girlfriend, his soulmate, the mother to his child, before walking out the room. There was something he was late too and he had to be there, now.

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕤𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕚𝕟, 𝕚𝕟 𝕒𝕟 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥. 𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕕. 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕀 𝕘𝕠 𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕪 𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤𝕥, 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕

𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕥𝕙. 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕀 r𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕕. 𝕀 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕙𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕡

𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕪. 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒 𝕓𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟. 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕟. ℂ𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤, 𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕛𝕦𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕀 𝕒𝕞.