Things no DM wants to hear.

[Wraith of Ages]

Usagi Kuro

DM: The elf boy asks you your story and why you need to be hidden.
Me: I am an elven princess in disguise, carrying a magical heirloom of sorts. The eviler shapeshifter, who is currently in the form of a gnome is after me, and that's why you must turn all gnomes away from the Inn.
DM: *rolls dice* He actually beleives you.
Me: And you thought putting my 18 in Charisma was a waste.

USAGI AVEC AMOUR. ♥

If my players said that in character I would reward them big time.

[Little Kathy II]

Dee Darkbreed

Usagi Kuro

DM: The elf boy asks you your story and why you need to be hidden.
Me: I am an elven princess in disguise, carrying a magical heirloom of sorts. The eviler shapeshifter, who is currently in the form of a gnome is after me, and that's why you must turn all gnomes away from the Inn.
DM: *rolls dice* He actually beleives you.
Me: And you thought putting my 18 in Charisma was a waste.

USAGI AVEC AMOUR. ♥

If my players said that in character I would reward them big time.

Especially if they manage to pull it off playing as a half-org barbarian.

[ZeCapitan]

Heretic_Messiah

Warlock of Lolth

Heretic_Messiah

Evil Tooth Fairy

GrimGent

Evil Tooth Fairy

PCs that don't want to follow a storyline at all, even when it's a open storyline.

But that storyline is the result of whatever actions the PCs perform during play, not a script to be followed. The GM is in charge of setting up the background to begin with and keeping everything running smoothly afterwards, but tampering with the choices made by the players always runs the risk of railroading and pixelbitching. It's not up to him to decide how everything will end.

He was given that choice when the mission was introduced to the characters.
All agreed to take the mission, except this guy.
We were attacked, we overpowered the attacker, and this guy above asks the NPCer "do you surrender?"
NPCer (unarmed) agrees to the surrender and gets up.
And this guy attacks the NPCer again for getting up, even though she agreed to surrender.
All well, NPCer (who was a high level NPC) escapes.
Everyone agrees that the attack this guy made for the NPCer getting up was uncalled for and don't feel like pursuing the NPCer anymore.
All except this guy.
All characters agree to returning to that what they were hired to do.
All except this guy.
Other words, everyone was trying to work as a party.
All except this guy.
So DM (a rookie) tries to get everyone back to working together and all hell breaks loose, because this guy wanted to abandon the mission they were hired for and wanted to go off on his own, because he feels he was tricked into going allong on this mission.
DM reintroduces the NPCer (who was still watching us in hiding) to get the group working as a group again, and he sends his wolf after her and casts entangle.
So the DM asks him if he wants to lose his wolf that badly, since the entangle had no effect on her due to what ever reason, but would have effect on the wolf.
And this guy starts bitching about being railroaded.
In the entire 10 minutes of actual in-time play, he wasn't once forced to do anything other than work together with the rest of the party.
But mister know-it-all ego-trip here thought it was more appropriate to debate whether a quickened spell counted as a swift action or not (while none of the players actually had the level to cast a quickened spell), instead of playing a game as a group.

Yes god forbid I did what I wanted.

Let me go play Final Fantasy where I dont have the choice to do what I want....

I play tabletob RPGs because im not forced to do what others want.... I play Table Top RPGs because in these games, you can do what you want. If my character wants to slap the 6th gen brujah prince of LA, so be it. If my character wants to walk into a Coalition State and start firing my Boom gun at the SAMAS's floating around, so be it. And god forbid, GOD FORBID, I choose to kill an NPC who just tried to murder me.


PS, there is a reason the group apologized to be and the DM kept me around instead of you. GTFO MI.

Ok; he did what he wanted.
He got his a** raped.

There; the consequences of doing what he wanted.

Yah but they shouldnt have tried to stop me from doing it OOC....As long as the consequences are IC, its fine....but to yell and punish me in OOC matters for an IC action is wrong. Like the whole tearing up a character sheet.

It was a courtesy; to stop you from having your character killed and having to make a new one.

Because seriously, it would've been torn up if the battle commenced anyway. Tada, time saver.

[Nerdenthal]

One thing that's really annoying is when you have a hook that you think will work (in this case specifically referring to someone in need of assistance), but then the players all end up spending half an hour debating whether the person in need is trustworthy or is just leading them into a trap cheese_whine

[penguininja]

would my rape check use the strength or dex modifier?

[Kasso]

Dispite how frequently it happens the one that I like to hear the least seems to always be; "I cast fireball!"

[The_Heros_Shadow]

one of the girls i play with normaly had a campain she wanted to run and snice we were missing the two most powerful people of the party i let her DM ....ill never do it again heres why


Friend: ok every one ready?

Me and six other people: yes

Friend: good i will start you off in a small town

Me surprised k ill be in the wepons shop

Everyone else: well be in the bar

Friend to me: ok a fariy comes up to you and says we dont serve humans

Me:.....ok i leave the shop


Friend: roll a will save.

Me: huh?

Friend the fariys casting ottos dance on you

Me uh ok 18

Friend: no sorry you start dancing as a group of fariys fly at you wepons drawn since you are dancing you cant do reflex and your armour class goes down to 13


needless to say i was killed by fairys....

[Prof. Faust]

darklink66

one of the girls i play with normaly had a campain she wanted to run and snice we were missing the two most powerful people of the party i let her DM ....ill never do it again heres why


Friend: ok every one ready?

Me and six other people: yes

Friend: good i will start you off in a small town

Me surprised k ill be in the wepons shop

Everyone else: well be in the bar

Friend to me: ok a fariy comes up to you and says we dont serve humans

Me:.....ok i leave the shop


Friend: roll a will save.

Me: huh?

Friend the fariys casting ottos dance on you

Me uh ok 18

Friend: no sorry you start dancing as a group of fariys fly at you wepons drawn since you are dancing you cant do reflex and your armour class goes down to 13


needless to say i was killed by fairys....

yeah those fairies can be a real b***h...but at least it's not as bad when me only female DM turned my tiefling wizard archmage into a squirrel. I only killed the squirrels because they stole my bracers of armor +6 and my staff of transmutation.

[The_Heros_Shadow]

Prof. Faust

darklink66

one of the girls i play with normaly had a campain she wanted to run and snice we were missing the two most powerful people of the party i let her DM ....ill never do it again heres why


Friend: ok every one ready?

Me and six other people: yes

Friend: good i will start you off in a small town

Me surprised k ill be in the wepons shop

Everyone else: well be in the bar

Friend to me: ok a fariy comes up to you and says we dont serve humans

Me:.....ok i leave the shop


Friend: roll a will save.

Me: huh?

Friend the fariys casting ottos dance on you

Me uh ok 18

Friend: no sorry you start dancing as a group of fariys fly at you wepons drawn since you are dancing you cant do reflex and your armour class goes down to 13


needless to say i was killed by fairys....

yeah those fairies can be a real b***h...but at least it's not as bad when me only female DM turned my tiefling wizard archmage into a squirrel. I only killed the squirrels because they stole my bracers of armor +6 and my staff of transmutation.

the sad thing was i was a lawful good ranger

[Tenshi Matsumura]

About the Half-Demon-Fox, they have that in the Oriental Adventures expansion, its called a Henge Youkai, they're kind of hax but have a high level adjustment if I recall.

As far as the firearms issues go, find the Iron Kingdoms Hand Book, that would help out a great deal. As far as firearms being made in a world without them, I'd say why not? People get ideas and the world keeps turning the real problem with being DM is that you need to actually portray changes in the world and characters.

But reading about the Paladin issues I now want to make a Paladin who worships a bardic god and likes to disco.

And finally on those sex issues: download the book of erotic fantasy, yes its real, yes I have it, yes I'm going to offer its classes, spell selection and so forth to my PCs because you never know when the Disrobe spell will come in handy when I throw opponents with magical armor at them.

Regular D&D:
Me: You are being attacked by-
My Older Brother: I use Gate of Babylon.

(Yes my older brother found out how to copy Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon from Fate/ Stay Night. And I worry.)

[The_Heros_Shadow]

Tenshi Matsumura

About the Half-Demon-Fox, they have that in the Oriental Adventures expansion, its called a Henge Youkai, they're kind of hax but have a high level adjustment if I recall.

As far as the firearms issues go, find the Iron Kingdoms Hand Book, that would help out a great deal. As far as firearms being made in a world without them, I'd say why not? People get ideas and the world keeps turning the real problem with being DM is that you need to actually portray changes in the world and characters.

But reading about the Paladin issues I now want to make a Paladin who worships a bardic god and likes to disco.

And finally on those sex issues: download the book of erotic fantasy, yes its real, yes I have it, yes I'm going to offer its classes, spell selection and so forth to my PCs because you never know when the Disrobe spell will come in handy when I throw opponents with magical armor at them.

Regular D&D:
Me: You are being attacked by-
My Older Brother: I use Gate of Babylon.

(Yes my older brother found out how to copy Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon from Fate/ Stay Night. And I worry.)

they sound like fun spells and since the disrobe spell helps a rouge as well as a arcane trickster lol as in

Dm: you see the noble put a few golden daggers into a pouch

Player: I cast disrobe

nearby perv: thats my fav spell

[Little Kathy II]

darklink66

Tenshi Matsumura

About the Half-Demon-Fox, they have that in the Oriental Adventures expansion, its called a Henge Youkai, they're kind of hax but have a high level adjustment if I recall.

As far as the firearms issues go, find the Iron Kingdoms Hand Book, that would help out a great deal. As far as firearms being made in a world without them, I'd say why not? People get ideas and the world keeps turning the real problem with being DM is that you need to actually portray changes in the world and characters.

But reading about the Paladin issues I now want to make a Paladin who worships a bardic god and likes to disco.

And finally on those sex issues: download the book of erotic fantasy, yes its real, yes I have it, yes I'm going to offer its classes, spell selection and so forth to my PCs because you never know when the Disrobe spell will come in handy when I throw opponents with magical armor at them.

Regular D&D:
Me: You are being attacked by-
My Older Brother: I use Gate of Babylon.

(Yes my older brother found out how to copy Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon from Fate/ Stay Night. And I worry.)

they sound like fun spells and since the disrobe spell helps a rouge as well as a arcane trickster lol as in

Dm: you see the noble put a few golden daggers into a pouch

Player: I cast disrobe

nearby perv: thats my fav spell

Disrobe is indeed a nifty spell.
Unfortunately, the target is allowed a reflex save, and armour bonus is added to the totale reflex save.
Also, it scatters all items, including armour, all around the target at a 10ft. radius.

[The_Heros_Shadow]

Evil Tooth Fairy

darklink66

Tenshi Matsumura

About the Half-Demon-Fox, they have that in the Oriental Adventures expansion, its called a Henge Youkai, they're kind of hax but have a high level adjustment if I recall.

As far as the firearms issues go, find the Iron Kingdoms Hand Book, that would help out a great deal. As far as firearms being made in a world without them, I'd say why not? People get ideas and the world keeps turning the real problem with being DM is that you need to actually portray changes in the world and characters.

But reading about the Paladin issues I now want to make a Paladin who worships a bardic god and likes to disco.

And finally on those sex issues: download the book of erotic fantasy, yes its real, yes I have it, yes I'm going to offer its classes, spell selection and so forth to my PCs because you never know when the Disrobe spell will come in handy when I throw opponents with magical armor at them.

Regular D&D:
Me: You are being attacked by-
My Older Brother: I use Gate of Babylon.

(Yes my older brother found out how to copy Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon from Fate/ Stay Night. And I worry.)

they sound like fun spells and since the disrobe spell helps a rouge as well as a arcane trickster lol as in

Dm: you see the noble put a few golden daggers into a pouch

Player: I cast disrobe

nearby perv: thats my fav spell

Disrobe is indeed a nifty spell.
Unfortunately, the target is allowed a reflex save, and dex bonus and armour bonus is added to the totale reflex save.
Also, it scatters all items, including armour, all around the target at a 10ft. radius.

........ok now i want this book where can i go to download it?

[Little Kathy II]

darklink66

Evil Tooth Fairy

darklink66

Tenshi Matsumura

About the Half-Demon-Fox, they have that in the Oriental Adventures expansion, its called a Henge Youkai, they're kind of hax but have a high level adjustment if I recall.

As far as the firearms issues go, find the Iron Kingdoms Hand Book, that would help out a great deal. As far as firearms being made in a world without them, I'd say why not? People get ideas and the world keeps turning the real problem with being DM is that you need to actually portray changes in the world and characters.

But reading about the Paladin issues I now want to make a Paladin who worships a bardic god and likes to disco.

And finally on those sex issues: download the book of erotic fantasy, yes its real, yes I have it, yes I'm going to offer its classes, spell selection and so forth to my PCs because you never know when the Disrobe spell will come in handy when I throw opponents with magical armor at them.

Regular D&D:
Me: You are being attacked by-
My Older Brother: I use Gate of Babylon.

(Yes my older brother found out how to copy Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon from Fate/ Stay Night. And I worry.)

they sound like fun spells and since the disrobe spell helps a rouge as well as a arcane trickster lol as in

Dm: you see the noble put a few golden daggers into a pouch

Player: I cast disrobe

nearby perv: thats my fav spell

Disrobe is indeed a nifty spell.
Unfortunately, the target is allowed a reflex save, and armour bonus is added to the totale reflex save.
Also, it scatters all items, including armour, all around the target at a 10ft. radius.

........ok now i want this book

What do you need the book for, if all you want, is this spell?

[The_Heros_Shadow]

Evil Tooth Fairy

darklink66

Evil Tooth Fairy

darklink66

Tenshi Matsumura

About the Half-Demon-Fox, they have that in the Oriental Adventures expansion, its called a Henge Youkai, they're kind of hax but have a high level adjustment if I recall.

As far as the firearms issues go, find the Iron Kingdoms Hand Book, that would help out a great deal. As far as firearms being made in a world without them, I'd say why not? People get ideas and the world keeps turning the real problem with being DM is that you need to actually portray changes in the world and characters.

But reading about the Paladin issues I now want to make a Paladin who worships a bardic god and likes to disco.

And finally on those sex issues: download the book of erotic fantasy, yes its real, yes I have it, yes I'm going to offer its classes, spell selection and so forth to my PCs because you never know when the Disrobe spell will come in handy when I throw opponents with magical armor at them.

Regular D&D:
Me: You are being attacked by-
My Older Brother: I use Gate of Babylon.

(Yes my older brother found out how to copy Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon from Fate/ Stay Night. And I worry.)

they sound like fun spells and since the disrobe spell helps a rouge as well as a arcane trickster lol as in

Dm: you see the noble put a few golden daggers into a pouch

Player: I cast disrobe

nearby perv: thats my fav spell

Disrobe is indeed a nifty spell.
Unfortunately, the target is allowed a reflex save, and armour bonus is added to the totale reflex save.
Also, it scatters all items, including armour, all around the target at a 10ft. radius.

........ok now i want this book

What do you need the book for, if all you want, is this spell?

i would like to read it and find out if i can use any more of it not just this one spell