Things no DM wants to hear.

[Tralk]

King Riverbreeze

DM: "Okay, so what's your race?"
Wizard: "Goblin."
DM: "Oh, okay... wait, WHAT? Lemme see that character sheet... HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE STR 16, CHA 15, INT 19?!"
Wizard: "Really good rolls."


...From that point on, I enforced the point buy system.

In most cases, my players roll bad, and I end up rolling for them.

[King Riverbreeze]

My players seem to roll low, except for a chosen few, so enforcing point buy was a blessing on the lot of 'em. No more "He's more powerful than me!" And all that.

Another one...

"I want to play as Sephiroth... only a Neko!"


That one killed my sooooul. gonk

[Foxfirega]

King Riverbreeze

My players seem to roll low, except for a chosen few, so enforcing point buy was a blessing on the lot of 'em. No more "He's more powerful than me!" And all that.

Another one...

"I want to play as Sephiroth... only a Neko!"


That one killed my sooooul. gonk

To borrow a quote from my friend (in reference to a custom campaign setting)...

'Yeah. That idea gets fed to the Dragon of Rage.'

Having a convenient plot device to explain the non-existance of stupid ideas is so, so much fun.

[Tralk]

King Riverbreeze

My players seem to roll low, except for a chosen few, so enforcing point buy was a blessing on the lot of 'em. No more "He's more powerful than me!" And all that.

Another one...

"I want to play as Sephiroth... only a Neko!"


That one killed my sooooul. gonk

I've said this one too once:

I played a Half-Cilestial Cleric, buddy played an Ogre Mage.

Our DM had us roll for random character traits.

I got Flowery Words and Big Speech, and a Lisp.

Ogre got Strange Color.

The DM yelled, "PINK!" and we all laughed... he was the "Pink Owgow Mage"

[King Riverbreeze]

Dragon of Rage, eh? That's fun! Gonna have to use one of those... We have a draconic creator diety in my homebrew campain, he's a god of water, luck, and fate. Oddly, my players started to not say my real name anymore, but call me by the diety's name... sweatdrop Ever have that happen to you?

[King Riverbreeze]

Rozie`

I've said this one too once:

I played a Half-Cilestial Cleric, buddy played an Ogre Mage.

Our DM had us roll for random character traits.

I got Flowery Words and Big Speech, and a Lisp.

Ogre got Strange Color.

The DM yelled, "PINK!" and we all laughed... he was the "Pink Owgow Mage"

xd Oh! That was you? I think I read that in an earlier thread, or earlier in this thread. That one is classic.

The only thing scarier was the Ogre Transvestite... *shiver*

[Tralk]

King Riverbreeze

Rozie`

I've said this one too once:

I played a Half-Cilestial Cleric, buddy played an Ogre Mage.

Our DM had us roll for random character traits.

I got Flowery Words and Big Speech, and a Lisp.

Ogre got Strange Color.

The DM yelled, "PINK!" and we all laughed... he was the "Pink Owgow Mage"

xd Oh! That was you? I think I read that in an earlier thread, or earlier in this thread. That one is classic.

The only thing scarier was the Ogre Transvestite... *shiver*

+5 Vorpal Spork is my alt. Are you into Online campaigns? I'd like to do a 1 on 1 with you over chat IMs >,>

Lol. I'm bored!

[King Riverbreeze]

Rozie`

+5 Vorpal Spork is my alt. Are you into Online campaigns? I'd like to do a 1 on 1 with you over chat IMs >,>

Lol. I'm bored!

Yeah, I'm into internet campains (have a few myself). I have no alt, this is my main and only account. ninja You have Yahoo?

[Foxfirega]

King Riverbreeze

Dragon of Rage, eh? That's fun! Gonna have to use one of those... We have a draconic creator diety in my homebrew campain, he's a god of water, luck, and fate. Oddly, my players started to not say my real name anymore, but call me by the diety's name... sweatdrop Ever have that happen to you?

Yuh.. if I recall, it was an Advanced Pyroclastic Dragon with Divine Rank 15. It's sole purpose in life was to unleash the rage of the gods upon things that were deemed too annoying, stupid, or otherwise just wrong to live. It's basically there as DM-perogative to disallow any and all things into the campaign, and to end stupid arguements.

'I want to play a kender!'
'They don't exist on Esshevar.'
'But what i-'
'Look, even if they DID exist at some point in the past, present, or future, the Dragon of Rage would be there on the spot in a hot minute to devour their souls, obliterate all evidence, and then erase all memory that they ever existed at all.'
'...How about a drow ranger wi-'
'Keep it up, and you're going into the dragon's stomach next.'

[King Riverbreeze]

Foxfirega

'...How about a drow ranger wi-'
'Keep it up, and you're going into the dragon's stomach next.'

I'm normally pretty lenient about characters... THAT I do not allow.

When my friend wanted to play a useless rogue, I let him have his fun.

But there are some things that I cannot stand... Drizz't clones are one of them, as are 100% clones of any video game character.

I've honestly heard this before, from someone who wanted to play an elf: "She came from the pits of hell after ten million years of service and escaped, she has acid spines that can dissolve anything all over her. She's a succubus."

...Besides the fact that elves... well... there is EVERYTHING wrong with that. Especcially the part about a succubus that has ACID SPINES all over her! Go-go logic, please! gonk

[Foxfirega]

I'm pretty lenient with some things, as long as it can make logical, reasonable sense to me. No Drow should ever be Good aligned, to me.. Neutral is passable, at best, but even then it's highly suspect to scrutiny as play goes on (and I'll set up a death-trap that'll crush half the party to get my point across. That's why I tell people to make back-up characters in advance! Saves time later. <.< wink . Evil Drow, though, are perfectly fine as PCs to me, as long as the campaign itself is Neutral or Evil aligned as an overall theme.

Dual-wielding characters are fine, too, and I'm even lenient enough to accept a Drow ranger on occasion... But no scimitars. Just not something a drow would prefer to use, I'd think, and while characters are allowed to be as different from their character race as can be, I have my limits on fandom.

[Mordacai_Itabashi]

A succubus with acid spines? xp Talk about rough-play

[King Riverbreeze]

Let's see... more 'things no DM ever wants to hear'...


"Sorry, I can't play as the party's wizard anymore. I'm a real wizard now and have to go to a magic school. See ya!"

I'd be all: eek

[Tralk]

True story:

Me, the DM: Ok, so what do you want to make?
Damian: How about a halfling Bard? I'll play the Flute.
Me: Ok, that's fine.

About two hours later.

Damian: Could I make my own prestige class using the BVD?
Me: Sure, I don't see why not.

Another three hours later.

Me: So let me get this straight... you have an army of several hundred Demons and Devils... an Eyriness as your Consort... and you want to kill the Avatar?

Damian: Yes.
Me: .... The gods, seeing how powerful one little halfling bard has become, have decided to destroy the world , and trap you within an inescapeable cage which will be placled near the entrance to hell, and will be guarded by a Greatwyrm Black Dragon.

Damian: What?!

Me: Dude, your character is bullshit, we're done. Let's do something else.

[Tarquin Aluclaire]

In my campaign worlds Kender do not exist because the Gods of all alignments and domains got together one day and mutually agreed that Kender were too ******** annoying to live. With the combined will of the entire divine pantheon all kender were smote from the multiverse as well as any historical document, or mortal memory. The final thing the gods did was smite kender from their own memories. Then they went back to their usual business. Kender do not exist. They might as well have never existed. Fin.

Oh, and the names "Elfstar" and "Blackleaf" are off limits because they sound like crappy names some dumb shits in a Chick Publications anti-D&D comic would use.