Things no DM wants to hear.

[Thats Also My Middle Name]

i was playing dnd for my first time and we were all level one, i was eberk, using the original stuff

"that makes one or two crits on kobolds, and a double crit on another"
yes, i said multiple crits in the same ADVENTURE on the same DAY
*woot dance*
YAY LUCKY IRISHNESS!

[Thats Also My Middle Name]

in another adventure, the boss we faced had little health, but packed so much of a punch, that it WOULD have been hard if it got to her turn

we walked into her room, and saw her doing an evil spell (dont remember what it was) and so our wizard shot a fireball (i think) at her, one shot, one kill, one turn, zero bosses

[Akuada]

Worst thing:
I forgot my dice.
Me too.
Me three.

[DeadlyHiFi]

DM: You enter the final chamber room, you see the human form of the gold dragon you've been chasing since the beginning of this campaign. What do you do?

Rogue char: I use move silently to try and get a sneak attack *rolls, passes*

DM: You sneak up to him what attack style do you want to use?

Rogue char: A sneak attack, DUH! *rolls, rolls again, rolls a third time...* Ummm... Didn't you say near the beginning we are using instant kill varient?

DM: Ummmm. Yea...

Rogue char: *smiles*

[Akuada]

DeadlyHiFi

DM: You enter the final chamber room, you see the human form of the gold dragon you've been chasing since the beginning of this campaign. What do you do?

Rogue char: I use move silently to try and get a sneak attack *rolls, passes*

DM: You sneak up to him what attack style do you want to use?

Rogue char: A sneak attack, DUH! *rolls, rolls again, rolls a third time...* Ummm... Didn't you say near the beginning we are using instant kill varient?

DM: Ummmm. Yea...

Rogue char: *smiles*

That sounds like what my Rogue/Assassin would do, except I'd use a poisoned dagger to inflict the damage

[Frost DoUrden]

for those who play dusk blades with the twinspell feat try this to annoy your dm, first have two weapons, then using the twin spell feat cast true strike, then blade of blood then just for the fun of it use the feat again with the permenacy spell. this is a very evil very mean trick all dms everywhere fear it. but hey if you truly want to be mean cast it multiple times. the dm's first thought will be WTF was that and probably will never let you be a duskblade again however the solution to the duskblade being banned...... the beguiler which can do just about the same thing but has a more rougeish approach to how things are done but lack the sneak attack ability so there fore i reccomend multi-classing into rouge and reading up on above spells for a character with the ability to sneak attack with those spells on your weapons means just about instant death for any and all you face, exept against those whom are immune to critical hits but hey that can be taken care of to if you look in the spell compindum there is a spell that makes those whom are immune to critical hits no longer immune to them. Have fun people and may dms everywhere fear this awsome strategy of greatness.

[Duke Shard]

Mythrenda

for those who play dusk blades with the double cast feat try this to annoy your dm, first have two weapons, then using the double cast feat cast true strike, then blade of blood then just for the fun of it use the feat again with the permenacy spell. this is a very evil very mean trick all dms everywhere fear it. but hey if you truly want to be mean cast it multiple times. the dm's first thought will be WTF was that and probably will never let you be a duskblade again however the solution to the duskblade being banned...... the beguiler which can do just about the same thing but has a more rougeish approach to how things are done but lack the sneak attack ability so there fore i reccomend multi-classing into rouge and reading up on above spells for a character with the ability to sneak attack with those spells on your weapons means just about instant death for any and all you face, exept against those whom are immune to critical hits but hey that can be taken care of to if you look in the spell compindum there is a spell that makes those whom are immune to critical hits no longer immune to them. Have fun people and may dms everywhere fear this awsome strategy of greatness.

Neither of those spells can be made permanent, and if your DM allows it, he is a putz.

[Frost DoUrden]

PermabannedWhatTheHell

Mythrenda

for those who play dusk blades with the double cast feat try this to annoy your dm, first have two weapons, then using the double cast feat cast true strike, then blade of blood then just for the fun of it use the feat again with the permenacy spell. this is a very evil very mean trick all dms everywhere fear it. but hey if you truly want to be mean cast it multiple times. the dm's first thought will be WTF was that and probably will never let you be a duskblade again however the solution to the duskblade being banned...... the beguiler which can do just about the same thing but has a more rougeish approach to how things are done but lack the sneak attack ability so there fore i reccomend multi-classing into rouge and reading up on above spells for a character with the ability to sneak attack with those spells on your weapons means just about instant death for any and all you face, exept against those whom are immune to critical hits but hey that can be taken care of to if you look in the spell compindum there is a spell that makes those whom are immune to critical hits no longer immune to them. Have fun people and may dms everywhere fear this awsome strategy of greatness.

Neither of those spells can be made permanent, and if your DM allows it, he is a putz.

Actualy yes they can i did this exact spell combination with a d&d judge present and he said it was perfectly legal to do.

[Akuada]

Mythrenda

for those who play dusk blades with the double cast feat try this to annoy your dm, first have two weapons, then using the double cast feat cast true strike, then blade of blood then just for the fun of it use the feat again with the permenacy spell. this is a very evil very mean trick all dms everywhere fear it. but hey if you truly want to be mean cast it multiple times. the dm's first thought will be WTF was that and probably will never let you be a duskblade again however the solution to the duskblade being banned...... the beguiler which can do just about the same thing but has a more rougeish approach to how things are done but lack the sneak attack ability so there fore i reccomend multi-classing into rouge and reading up on above spells for a character with the ability to sneak attack with those spells on your weapons means just about instant death for any and all you face, exept against those whom are immune to critical hits but hey that can be taken care of to if you look in the spell compindum there is a spell that makes those whom are immune to critical hits no longer immune to them. Have fun people and may dms everywhere fear this awsome strategy of greatness.

DO NOT GIVE MY FRIEND IDEAS!!!

[Zetusko]

"Um... Can I attack?"

[Akuada]

Zetusko

"Um... Can I attack?"

To which the evil DM says: NO, the rats are still eating your brain.

[Nicolas_Rei]

Wow, that's Exactly what a DM doesn't want to hear.
A player claiming some D&D Judge said you can Permanancy True Strike... Permancy on a 1st level spell that is designed for a single attack? I mean it automaticly ends after your next attack or in a matter of seconds if not used. There is a reason for that. The spell is broken if it lasts for multiple attacks or over time.
As for Double Cast.. Haven't read that? I assume it works like Twin Spell. Which casts the same spell twice. Which would mean that you can't use it to cast those seperate spells.
I could be wrong, but that would mean it would require even more feats than Twin spell, to obtain.

So yeah, your entire little power gaming attempt would be enough for any DM I know to decide YOU are not a gamer. Just another kid who needs to read the books.

[GaijinGuy36]

Nicolas_Rei

Wow, that's Exactly what a DM doesn't want to hear.
A player claiming some D&D Judge said you can Permanancy True Strike... Permancy on a 1st level spell that is designed for a single attack? I mean it automaticly ends after your next attack or in a matter of seconds if not used. There is a reason for that. The spell is broken if it lasts for multiple attacks or over time.
As for Double Cast.. Haven't read that? I assume it works like Twin Spell. Which casts the same spell twice. Which would mean that you can't use it to cast those seperate spells.
I could be wrong, but that would mean it would require even more feats than Twin spell, to obtain.

So yeah, your entire little power gaming attempt would be enough for any DM I know to decide YOU are not a gamer. Just another kid who needs to read the books.

This kid's no gamer, just a munchkin.

[Dark Angel Corry]

DM: you find a green viscous liwuid that makes odd noises
me: i poke it with a stick
DM: it goes onto the stick and crawls up it onto you
me: i hug it and name it jeremy
DM: *rolls dice* it begins to melt your face off
me:i go dive into the lake to shake it off *rolls dice*
DM: you shake it off but find about 15 more under water
me: i run like a scared little forest elf *rolls dice*
DM you make it out alive but you now have syphilis
me: what the hell?! your a sick little b*****d arent you
DM: yes i am...
me: i use my cure disease spell *rolls dice*
DM:it works perfectly but theirs an green slime crawling up your leg
me: i punch DM in the face for being a deuche bag *rolls dice* Crit!! thats a nad shot!
DM: oh s**t... *attempts to flee*....*fails*....
me: xd

[Vandal Phantom]

SteveLogic

starsrift

"I want to seduce the barmaid"/"Try to have sex with the princess"/"Go watch the monks working out in their loincloths", et al.

I'd rather move the story along, give you time to develop relationships with your characters within your party, or maybe develop a meaningful romantic relationship with one NPC.

Not waste my time, and my other players' time, talking about how you are screwing the daylights out of some no-name commoner between dungeon crawls. WTF is the point? If you want to establish yourself as a 'player', we don't need to get into detail. "Lynna goes to the tavern and finds herself a nice boyfriend/girlfriend/sheep for the night" is sufficient, really.

The guy who DM'd the group I used to play with had a very simple solution for that problem: STD's.

Naxon

A lawful good paladin was once like, "Can I steal that?" Or "I wanna get some womans!"

His god killed his family...

Ok, that was stupid on the DM's part.
Stealing, fine, stealing bad. Make the Paladin confess to a cleric, or whatever the Handbook says you have to do to atone for a minor grievance.
But wanting to nail a chick? There's nothing wrong or Anti-LG with that unless he took a vow of chastity as part of his backstory, or nails her under dishonorable cirumstances (Ye olde roofies)
I hate paladins, but mostly because most people who play them are either holier-than- thou pricks, or the DM typecasts them into that role whether they really want to be or not.
Just because you're LG doesn't mean you can't have fun or have a personality.

I dunno, I play a paladin in a Spell Jammer game. I spend most of my time questioning if I've done the right thing. Had alot of problems with self doubt as a character. But when it comes down to the wire, I do the job of smiting evil rather well and have only lost my powers once for being too chaotic in action. I don't play the preachy here is my faith paladin, I play someone who is doing thier job.