Welcome to Gaia! ::

Greetings, Scienteers! I'm excited to welcome you back to the lab. Care for a tour? Before we begin, I'll need you to sign a few disclaimers. Nothing important really, just a formality! We didn't used to have to give them out, but things have changed rather drastically since the incident. Anyways, if you just step into my office for a moment, we can wrap that up nice and quickly and move onto the karaoke den and the roller coaster simulator! Nothing sinister behind these walls, I'd guarantee it! Not on paper of course, but you know what I mean. Come, come! Let's take a look at some of the latest marvels of scientific wonder my darling technicians and interns have whipped up for us today. Be sure to take notes!

Recon Pariah: The simulation flickers: there's Unit 482, nervous-eyed under the mask. Pariah flexes her hands against her knees.

Unresolvable error in separation layer. Activating immersive simulation.
You flex your hands against your knees. Unit 482 is nervous-eyed under the mask.

You remember--

Unresolvable error
██████████ █████ grins at you. There's motor oil on her hands.

"It'll only hurt a bit," she says. You can't stop staring at the tool belt, at the ball bearings and blinking gadgets. At the knives.

Unresolvable error
█████ has a smile like the sun.

Unresolvable error
this is for the greater good, you think

< grey? grey? stuck in an archive loop. >

Unresolva
??? ? ????? ?
Error resolved! ^_^
Immersive simulation deactivated

Pariah flexes her hands against her knees.

"Where were you?" says Grey, crouching to examine the oblivious simulation of Trainee Recon Unit 482.

"Authorization lag," you lie. You've heard stories about what happens to people caught in immersive sims.

(You can't stop thinking about her tool belt. █████ has a smile like the sun.)

This exciting adventure simply gets more and more enthralling with each new addition! In that way, it's a bit like a long running experiment slowly seeking to confirm a useful hypothesis, or a slow-changing chemical reaction: my favorite things! Ah, take a deep breath, Sciencers-- that's the delicious scent of the scientific method in action! Stop by the lab again next week to see what changes this impressive Evolving Item has undergone by then. I can't wait to finish up our tour with the obligatory explosion and a fun afternoon of genetic experimentation. You've always wanted to glow in the dark, right? See you again soon, Scienteers!