removed

[Xxbabby_blueyxX]

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[Captain Octopus Lady]

hahahaha why would zeus name his kid lizzy?? that doesnt fit at all

[Mary-Greenman]

Initally, the story has promise, however the way its written isn't very literate. First, you should have gone with a Roman or Greek name. Lizzy doesn't fit at all. You should use more description, and characterizations. Zeus, while a jealous and rash man, would not cast someone out because they didn't love his daughter. Perhaps if the woman had harmed the child, but other wise I don't see him over-reacting that much. Over all, it seems like not much effort was put into the story. A little more literary elements and it'd be alright.

[Skat3b0yXD]

dedicated to

that twighlight lover person

and not me

im the emo looking kid who sits next to you in 2 classes

lol no im kidding

[Xxbabby_blueyxX]

Skat3b0yXD

dedicated to

that twighlight lover person

and not me

im the emo looking kid who sits next to you in 2 classes

lol no im kidding

grr

[Nethilia]

Xxbabby_blueyxX

Its getting late you guys ill try to finish it tomorrow M'kay?
I'd love suggestions! <3

Suggestion? Read the Greek mythos instead of simply taking names of the gods I worship and writing sometthing that is completely inaccurate to anything that has ever been about them. And before you say "I'm just writing for fun/it's not for you"--Writing without research is not writing, it's simply throwing together words. If you were only writing for one person, you would have not posted it for all to see.

I can name five inaccuracies about my pantheon in the first two sentences alone.

[Sora Syroan]

It's cute but be more discriptive. Like.... What did she steal? Shoes? The ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz? A gold brick? An ancient artifact that bares her father's symbol? It's endless. Also. get greek names. Alethia... means truth. I use it for some of my stories. Artemis. A very common name. Then you need to be more hook grabbing. A fight breaks out as she runs away. Her father secretly watching her. or her brother or even Hermies. THe messanger Greek god. It's all up to you twilight girl. Oh... Team Edward... Team Jacob... or Team Bella. (Say anything but Edward and i kill you. He's not good in the movies but vampires rule) Also, another tip. There's a series of books called hte Dark-Hunters. Read them. It'll help with your story for sure. ANd it'll give you a whole knew view pn how much of a b***h Artemis is. ^.^