Jackie Tekila
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- Posted: Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:28:42 +0000
Alright, so I think most everyone here knows the drill. I'm looking for comments and critiques, any helpful input on improving the piece. Let me know your thoughts. This is a first draft so rip it apart. Thanks in advance to all those who take the time to read and respond. Your help is greatly appreciated. 3nodding
*warning: mild reference to nudity
Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Gentle candlelight illuminated the beautiful white marble tiles of the 5-star hotel bathroom. Their warm light flickered and danced off the pearly-white clawfoot tub that sat at the center of the spacious room. The thick aroma of scented oils caressed the steam filled air, weaving a blanket of soothing relaxation into the atmosphere.
A young woman lounged just below the waterline of the steaming bathtub. Her damp auburn curls rolled across her pale shoulders and down her back into the depths of the tub. Her milky-white skin glowing in the shifting candlelight. Delicate rose petals floated lightly around her body, gently brushing her bare skin that rose from the hot water.
She would never have dreamed in a thousand years that she would one day be sitting in a flower-filled tub in Madrid, eating chocolate covered strawberries from a silver platter and soaking chest deep in a silver faucet, lion-clawed tub. She had always been told of the pampered life, she just had never dreamed of living it herself.
She shifted even lower in the tub, submerging more of her torso as she stuck a small foot over the rim. She inhaled the soothing scent that was closing in around her as she gently shut her eyes.
So much had transpired in the past month to bring her to where she was. Much of it she was not proud of, but at the moment, she wouldn't have changed it for the world. It had all been worth it. And the most remarkable part was she would never have imagined it leading to this.
She extended a blind hand to the decorative tray perched beside the tub, retrieving a strawberry and taking a long savory bite. She sucked the sweet juices from the small fruit, her tongue alight in a fit of ecstasy.
“Enjoying your bath?” A deep, familiar tone asked as fingers laced around her protruding foot, beginning to massage her toes gently. She opened her eyes, a content smile crossing her face.
A tall man, clad only in a damp towel, stood beside the tub, massaging her foot. He was not strikingly handsome but something about him was remarkably appealing. Something about the way he held himself just made him attractive and to her, there was no other man more beautiful.
The past few months had been filled drama and it had all been for him. It had been for him that she had fought so hard. It had been for him that she had battled with her conscious and her guilt. It had been for him that she had lost a friend. But in that moment, she wouldn't have had it any other way.
She had lost a mediocre friend but gained a love. And it had been worth it. He was her confidant, her friend, and her lover. He believed in her, confided in her, and loved her more sincerely than anyone ever had. He was her first love, her only love.
His smooth hands worked masterfully on the pad of her foot, moving along her calf and into the tub to deeply massage her soft flesh. His tenderness could be felt in his every touch and observed in the way his dark brown eyes admired her.
He had won her heart long before she had any idea what he had in store for her. Before she had known how he would love her, before she had known how he would whisk her away to Spain on a romantic escapade, and before she had known how much he would, and could, spoil her. His economic resources had turned out to be far beyond what she could have ever conceived.
All she had known for sure was that she loved him. And that she wanted to be with him and only him. But she could never have imagined that falling in love would have brought her to this. She was living a fairy tale. Somewhere along the way, amongst her struggles, she had finally done something right. Her life as a mousy Midwesterner was changing into one of a worldly and confident young woman. Life was finally looking up.
Edit: Feel free to comment and critique my other pieces as well. Love Letters, A Child's Realization, Time to Go, Where has my Pillow Gone? and No Time for Fear.
*warning: mild reference to nudity
Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Gentle candlelight illuminated the beautiful white marble tiles of the 5-star hotel bathroom. Their warm light flickered and danced off the pearly-white clawfoot tub that sat at the center of the spacious room. The thick aroma of scented oils caressed the steam filled air, weaving a blanket of soothing relaxation into the atmosphere.
A young woman lounged just below the waterline of the steaming bathtub. Her damp auburn curls rolled across her pale shoulders and down her back into the depths of the tub. Her milky-white skin glowing in the shifting candlelight. Delicate rose petals floated lightly around her body, gently brushing her bare skin that rose from the hot water.
She would never have dreamed in a thousand years that she would one day be sitting in a flower-filled tub in Madrid, eating chocolate covered strawberries from a silver platter and soaking chest deep in a silver faucet, lion-clawed tub. She had always been told of the pampered life, she just had never dreamed of living it herself.
She shifted even lower in the tub, submerging more of her torso as she stuck a small foot over the rim. She inhaled the soothing scent that was closing in around her as she gently shut her eyes.
So much had transpired in the past month to bring her to where she was. Much of it she was not proud of, but at the moment, she wouldn't have changed it for the world. It had all been worth it. And the most remarkable part was she would never have imagined it leading to this.
She extended a blind hand to the decorative tray perched beside the tub, retrieving a strawberry and taking a long savory bite. She sucked the sweet juices from the small fruit, her tongue alight in a fit of ecstasy.
“Enjoying your bath?” A deep, familiar tone asked as fingers laced around her protruding foot, beginning to massage her toes gently. She opened her eyes, a content smile crossing her face.
A tall man, clad only in a damp towel, stood beside the tub, massaging her foot. He was not strikingly handsome but something about him was remarkably appealing. Something about the way he held himself just made him attractive and to her, there was no other man more beautiful.
The past few months had been filled drama and it had all been for him. It had been for him that she had fought so hard. It had been for him that she had battled with her conscious and her guilt. It had been for him that she had lost a friend. But in that moment, she wouldn't have had it any other way.
She had lost a mediocre friend but gained a love. And it had been worth it. He was her confidant, her friend, and her lover. He believed in her, confided in her, and loved her more sincerely than anyone ever had. He was her first love, her only love.
His smooth hands worked masterfully on the pad of her foot, moving along her calf and into the tub to deeply massage her soft flesh. His tenderness could be felt in his every touch and observed in the way his dark brown eyes admired her.
He had won her heart long before she had any idea what he had in store for her. Before she had known how he would love her, before she had known how he would whisk her away to Spain on a romantic escapade, and before she had known how much he would, and could, spoil her. His economic resources had turned out to be far beyond what she could have ever conceived.
All she had known for sure was that she loved him. And that she wanted to be with him and only him. But she could never have imagined that falling in love would have brought her to this. She was living a fairy tale. Somewhere along the way, amongst her struggles, she had finally done something right. Her life as a mousy Midwesterner was changing into one of a worldly and confident young woman. Life was finally looking up.
Edit: Feel free to comment and critique my other pieces as well. Love Letters, A Child's Realization, Time to Go, Where has my Pillow Gone? and No Time for Fear.
