Jackie Tekila
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- Posted: Sun, 19 Jul 2009 19:21:47 +0000
Alright, so I think most everyone here knows the drill. I'm looking for comments and critiques, any helpful input on improving the piece. Let me know your thoughts. This is a first draft so rip it apart. Thanks in advance to all those who take the time to read and respond. Your help is greatly appreciated. 3nodding
No Time for Fear
Her auburn hair whipped violently at her face as she clung for dear life to the leather-clad figure in front of her. The pavement rushed by in a whiz of gray-toned color, the trees along the highway a mixture of green and brown blurs. The roar of the wind and the motor invaded her unprotected ears in a furry of unwelcome noise.
She was terrified.
The giant hunk of metal between her thighs caused rough vibrations to run through her body. The heat from the exhaust pipe licking at her calves in a menacing manner. The brutal wind tore at her loose blouse and pant legs, the fabric snapping violently.
Oh dear God why is he going so fast?! Her mind screamed as they whipped around another treacherous corner in the autopista.
Why on Earth was she on a motorcycle in Mexico?! She was terrified of motorcycles! And in Mexico of all places! If they crashed, God only knows what the hospital would be like, if they were even lucky enough to make it that far. What had she been thinking?!
They rounded another corner, this time to the left. She shut her eyes tightly, squeezing the man in front of her even more tightly. Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
“Slow down!” She shrieked.
“Mande?” He shouted back over his shoulder nonchalantly.
Oh s**t! She thought as she remembered he didn't understand English. She quickly sifted through her panicked brain for the right words. Her Spanish was terrible! Especially when she was nervous.
“Mas lento! Demasiado rapido!” Was all her mind could muster at the moment.
He only laughed.
She opened her eyes to see the red skinned demon on the back of his helmet eying her with a devious look. What was he so smug about? Why was it that devils always looked like they were having so much fun? He clearly shouldn't be having a good time, plastered to the back of the helmet the way he was, hurdling down a highway at ninety miles per hour. Did he realize that his face was meant to be a skid plate in case of emergencies?! And yet here he was enjoying himself. Mocking her and everything! What nerve!
But it was true. The daredevils and troublemakers always seemed to have the most fun. They were reckless and careless and well, happy. Maybe they knew something she didn't. Maybe they had it all figured out. She began thinking about it.
Often in life she had missed out on things because she had been afraid. She had missed out on what should have been a good time because of her fear. Like the the River back home. All her friends had gone cliff diving and she had chickened out. Now every time she crossed over the bridge near the cliff, she thought to herself, I should have done it. I should have just jumped. She was a strong swimmer, she could have handled it.
Her grip loosened a little around the man's waist. Maybe she just worried too much. He did this all the time. He only owned the motorcycle. It was the only vehicle he drove. And he'd never had an accident. Not that it couldn't happen. Anything could happen. She could be walking down the sidewalk as a responsible and cautious pedestrian and have a car jump the curb and run her down. But she never worried about that.
I'm young, she thought to herself, and I only live once. Maybe it was time to stop worrying so much. She would only get a chance to experience these things once. One day she would be old. Did she want to look back at her life and see all the things she missed because she'd been afraid. No she didn't want to be that person filled with regret. She wanted to be the person who could say “Yes, I was once young and stupid. Look at all the reckless things I've done.”
Everyone had to die at some point. What was the sense in worrying so much about it? She sat back slightly. Relaxing a bit in her seat. Allowing the wind to rush over her as she felt a tinge of excitement flow through her veins. This is actually very exhilarating! She thought as a burst of adrenaline leaked into her whole body.
They began to slow as they veered off the exit ramp towards town. She allowed her body to move with the bike seamlessly. Her rigidity floating away. Their ride was almost over and she had just begun to enjoy it. She had actually started to have fun. Her heart pounding in her chest out of excitement rather than terror.
As they rolled to a stop in front of the Micheladas stand a felling of disappointment came over her. She wanted to ride some more. This was actually fun. She was ready to keep riding but he nodded to her to dismount as he steadied the bike.
“You're back; how was it?” Came a greeting from her friend as she pulled her helmet off. Her hair was a mess of tangled curls.
“It was actually fun,” She confessed with a smile. Life was simply too short to be afraid. There was no time for fear, not if you wanted to enjoy it. At least, that's what she thought now. She wasn't going to let anything more pass her by. She wanted to experience every moment of everything. Hell, she was young and in Mexico, why not enjoy it?
Edit: Feel free to comment and critique my other pieces as well. A Child's Realization, Chocolate Covered Strawberries, Love Letters, Time to Go, and Where has my Pillow Gone?
No Time for Fear
Her auburn hair whipped violently at her face as she clung for dear life to the leather-clad figure in front of her. The pavement rushed by in a whiz of gray-toned color, the trees along the highway a mixture of green and brown blurs. The roar of the wind and the motor invaded her unprotected ears in a furry of unwelcome noise.
She was terrified.
The giant hunk of metal between her thighs caused rough vibrations to run through her body. The heat from the exhaust pipe licking at her calves in a menacing manner. The brutal wind tore at her loose blouse and pant legs, the fabric snapping violently.
Oh dear God why is he going so fast?! Her mind screamed as they whipped around another treacherous corner in the autopista.
Why on Earth was she on a motorcycle in Mexico?! She was terrified of motorcycles! And in Mexico of all places! If they crashed, God only knows what the hospital would be like, if they were even lucky enough to make it that far. What had she been thinking?!
They rounded another corner, this time to the left. She shut her eyes tightly, squeezing the man in front of her even more tightly. Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
“Slow down!” She shrieked.
“Mande?” He shouted back over his shoulder nonchalantly.
Oh s**t! She thought as she remembered he didn't understand English. She quickly sifted through her panicked brain for the right words. Her Spanish was terrible! Especially when she was nervous.
“Mas lento! Demasiado rapido!” Was all her mind could muster at the moment.
He only laughed.
She opened her eyes to see the red skinned demon on the back of his helmet eying her with a devious look. What was he so smug about? Why was it that devils always looked like they were having so much fun? He clearly shouldn't be having a good time, plastered to the back of the helmet the way he was, hurdling down a highway at ninety miles per hour. Did he realize that his face was meant to be a skid plate in case of emergencies?! And yet here he was enjoying himself. Mocking her and everything! What nerve!
But it was true. The daredevils and troublemakers always seemed to have the most fun. They were reckless and careless and well, happy. Maybe they knew something she didn't. Maybe they had it all figured out. She began thinking about it.
Often in life she had missed out on things because she had been afraid. She had missed out on what should have been a good time because of her fear. Like the the River back home. All her friends had gone cliff diving and she had chickened out. Now every time she crossed over the bridge near the cliff, she thought to herself, I should have done it. I should have just jumped. She was a strong swimmer, she could have handled it.
Her grip loosened a little around the man's waist. Maybe she just worried too much. He did this all the time. He only owned the motorcycle. It was the only vehicle he drove. And he'd never had an accident. Not that it couldn't happen. Anything could happen. She could be walking down the sidewalk as a responsible and cautious pedestrian and have a car jump the curb and run her down. But she never worried about that.
I'm young, she thought to herself, and I only live once. Maybe it was time to stop worrying so much. She would only get a chance to experience these things once. One day she would be old. Did she want to look back at her life and see all the things she missed because she'd been afraid. No she didn't want to be that person filled with regret. She wanted to be the person who could say “Yes, I was once young and stupid. Look at all the reckless things I've done.”
Everyone had to die at some point. What was the sense in worrying so much about it? She sat back slightly. Relaxing a bit in her seat. Allowing the wind to rush over her as she felt a tinge of excitement flow through her veins. This is actually very exhilarating! She thought as a burst of adrenaline leaked into her whole body.
They began to slow as they veered off the exit ramp towards town. She allowed her body to move with the bike seamlessly. Her rigidity floating away. Their ride was almost over and she had just begun to enjoy it. She had actually started to have fun. Her heart pounding in her chest out of excitement rather than terror.
As they rolled to a stop in front of the Micheladas stand a felling of disappointment came over her. She wanted to ride some more. This was actually fun. She was ready to keep riding but he nodded to her to dismount as he steadied the bike.
“You're back; how was it?” Came a greeting from her friend as she pulled her helmet off. Her hair was a mess of tangled curls.
“It was actually fun,” She confessed with a smile. Life was simply too short to be afraid. There was no time for fear, not if you wanted to enjoy it. At least, that's what she thought now. She wasn't going to let anything more pass her by. She wanted to experience every moment of everything. Hell, she was young and in Mexico, why not enjoy it?
Edit: Feel free to comment and critique my other pieces as well. A Child's Realization, Chocolate Covered Strawberries, Love Letters, Time to Go, and Where has my Pillow Gone?
