b l a c k//s u n s h i n e

[LastChance2Dance]

This is part of a short story I am writing. I am an awful author, and I am hoping to improve. So, please, tear my story apart with all your critizism, snotty remarks and particularly nasty hate notes.
(I will be adding additional parts of the story at a later time.)

EDIT; I have already posted a thread of the same story, I realize that. But I was hoping that the second one would be a tad bit more organized. Also, thank you to all the others who gave me advice previously.

.i'm working on.
part one(sd)
part two(sd)
character creation
part three(sd)


.content.
On page one; .the begining of her broken heart. .her dream. && .Vladimir; the dream boy.



"Our love is like a rollarcoaster; it has it's ups & downs, it's twists & turns, even times when your holding on for dear life. But in the end; it was the best adrenaline rush you've ever had."-Allie.

[LastChance2Dance]

.p a r t//o n e. .the begining of her broken heart.

Allie woke with a start, she was covered in a cold sweat, her arms and legs felt numb. She felt her stomach lurch and ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time. After a couple minutes, she sat up and wiped her mouth. Turning around to see her reflection in the mirror, she looked awful. Her blonde hair was ratted and tangled, her eyes, once vibrant and green, were now bloodshot and had bags under them. This nightmare had gone on far too long, every night she had the same reoccurring dream. About the girl. The girl that looked surprisingly like her, maybe that’s why this dream upset her so much. Allie continued to glare at the mirror, how long will this go on?, she asked herself. Then sighed, until I get out of this house. She answered herself automatically, so much for rhetorical questions.

Allie walked back into her bedroom, and over to the window. The window was clouded with mist from the morning frost, but after she wiped a small circle away to see through, she saw that the sun was just beginning to rise. She looked over at her alarm clock, five o’clock, it said. It’s to early to go back to sleep. She told herself, as she grabbed a pair of jeans off the floor and slipped them on. Along with an old “Rolling Stones” t-shirt off the end of her bed. She walked back into the bathroom, brutally yanking a brush through her hair as she brushed her teeth furiously. “You never know when you might have to kiss someone”, her mother always said. But what did she know, she was never there anyways.

The hardwood floor was cold as Allie ran down them, and the second step creaked, like it always did when someone stepped on it. She hit the floor with a soft thud, and walked around the staircase into the kitchen, there was a 10 dollar bill and note from her mother on the fridge.

“Allie,
Ride your bike down to the store and get milk, eggs, and a loaf of bread.
Love, Mom.”

Allie groaned, a two and a half mile bike ride, at 5 in the morning? That wasn’t the way she had pictured her day starting, but she had nothing better to do. She opened the fridge and took a drink of milk out of the carton, as always, when her mother was not home. She grabbed the ten off the fridge and shoved it in her pocket. She walked over to the door grabbed her leather coat off the rack, slid into her black high-top converse, and walked outside.

It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the sunlight, but she blinked a few times and continued to walk toward the woodshed, where her bike was stored. Her old ten speed wasn’t very pretty to look at, but it got her around. It was painted bright blue and yellow, and had a ripped old basket on the handlebars. She looked over to her small garden, where a few sunflowers and daisies were planted. The edges of the petals had begun to shrivel. Don't worry, Allie thought, I feel the same way. Then, Allie pushed the bike to the end of the driveway, looked both ways, the way she was taught as a child and pushed herself up on the seat, and began to ride the long narrow road into town.


//Dont worry... I feel the same way.//

[LastChance2Dance]

.p a r t//t w o. .her dream.

• • •

The branches snapped under her feet as she ran, the leaves whistled as she flew by them. The only other sound that penetrated the silence was her own labored breathing, reverberating off the trees. The morning chill whipped at her face as she forced herself to run faster, her muscles protested; as well as her lungs, who where desperately begging her to stop for a few short breaths of air. She just had to keep going, and tell herself that the house was nearby, that she was getting closer, inch by inch.

She continued running, not knowing what was ahead of her, except the dense green wall that she told herself she had to pass. Her lungs began to protest her even more, and she could tell that her pace was slowly decreasing. She told herself she had to move on, whoever was pursuing her wouldn't stop, so neither would she.

Behind her she could hear the faint sound of voices, and then the sound of running footsteps. Tears streaked down her face as she ran, if she didn't reach the house soon, she never would. She heard the footsteps get closer, and then she heard the familiar sound of breath that was not as heavy as hers. She didn't bother looking back, she knew she couldn't make it, it was to late now. Soon she felt hot breath down her neck and a large hand wrap around her waist, dragging her down to the forest floor. She landed with a soft 'thud' and her head hit against the side of a tree. As she lay on the ground her eyes rolled up to the sky, and instead of the thick green canopy she should have seen there was a sudden eclipse of black as she slid into unconsciousness.

• • •

[LastChance2Dance]

.p a r t//t h r e e. .Vladimir; the dream boy.

The morning air was cold as it stung Allie’s face, turning her light skin to a brilliant rosy pink. Small breaths of air escaped from her lips as she pedaled faster, her legs starting to ache. Her long hair flew out behind her, and her eyes began to water. To her left the sun was beginning to rise, making the sky a mixture of fiery orange and maroon. On her right she saw the ocean tide coming into the bay, and water crashed upon the rocks. She saw some teenage boys standing at the edge of the cove, as it was an excellent place for cliff diving. One of the boys look familiar and she briefly considered joining them. What if it’s not him? She asked herself, but for him, she was willing to take that risk. As she rode further along the path leading to the cliffs, just as she thought, there was that old blue mustang parked to the edge of the road.

Allie decided to ride up the path, to see the face she missed so much. The mud from the night before made if hard to pedal up the street, but she made it to the mustang a couple minutes later. She dropped her bike down next to the mustang and sat up on the hood, staring at the remaining boys on the cliff. She watched them jump, and each time her stomach would twist until she saw them safely on shore again. Soon after, there where no more boys on the cliffs edge, and they were all walking up the rocks towards her. They were laughing and joking, until they reached the cars and recognized her, then silence swept through them. The boy in the front, which was the one she had been hoping to see, was the first to speak.

“Hey Allie, long time, no see.” He said, smiling at her. He pushed his shaggy black hair out of his eyes and grabbed her hand, helping her off the hood of the car.

“Hey, Vlad. Yeah, it has been a while; I haven’t been in town for a few days.” She smiled back at him, addressing him by his nickname.

“Well you should come more often, I get a little lonely.” He said as he pulled of his wet t-shirt, reaching in the mustang’s open window for the dry on hanging on the seat. One of the other boys, who was getting in his own car, snickered. Vladimir shot him a look from hell, and returned his gaze to Allie.

“I try, but it’s hard, with Jeana working all the time.” Vladimir didn’t seem surprised that Allie called her mother by her first name; he just nodded and pulled the clean shirt over his head. “I really don’t get a lot of time to do anything.

He smiled at her again, he had a gorgeous “Well, don’t make any plans for the 23rd.” The 23rd? What was today, the 15th of July? Some of the boys that had been with Vlad had gotten in there cars and left, distracting Allie’s train-of-thought.

“The 23rd? What the hell is happening on the 23rd?” Allie said curiously, a little nervous, Vladimir tended to make up his own holidays.

“I was planning on asking you to the county fair in Augusta. I was hoping you would go with me.” The remaining boys stopped what they where doing and looked at Vladimir, he didn’t pay attention to them, but looked Allie straight in the eye and waited for a response.

Allie twisted her hair and bit her bottom lip, a date, with Vladimir? Isn’t this what she had dreamed about ever since she met him? Ever since her helped her mother and her unload the moving truck, that very first day? She looked up at him thoughtfully; he was a good 4 inches taller than her. “Well, I don’t see why not.” She giggled, “So, are you gunna pick me up early? It’s a good two hour drive to Augusta.”

“Of course,” he replied, he seemed happier now that he knew Allie would go. “I wouldn’t want to deprive you of you fair time.” He walked around the front of the mustang, opening the passenger door. “Would you like a ride?”

“I would, but... my bike?” Allie asked him.

“Leave it; we can get it on the way back. You are going into town aren’t you?” He asked her, leaning on the car door.

“I am, to your father store in fact.” She added, as she walked to the other side of the car to meet Vlad. She was glad to get a ride from Him; she had never ridden in the mustang before. She tapped her muddy feet on the tires before she got in, trying not to track mud all over the floor, to no success. He chuckled.

“Don’t even worry about that,” He said, pointing to his own feet, which were also covered in mud. She nodded, a little embarrassed. As he got into the drivers seat, he told her “Buckle your seatbelt, I don’t want another ticket.” She did as she was told, rolling down the window as he backed down the narrow road. Soon her cheeks were turning that rosy pink color again, and her hair was flying back as Vladimir raced down the highway.

[LastChance2Dance]

:]]

[LastChance2Dance]

((:

[LastChance2Dance]

:3

[LastChance2Dance]

razz

[LastChance2Dance]

;PP

[LastChance2Dance]

:E

[KeepHoldingOn14]

¦Þ

[KeepHoldingOn14]

i like =]
im startin a new story.
my other one failed.
this one is much better =]

[L0vesiick --Crackhead--]

wow. you were, like, way modest when you said you can't write ^.^
I really like this (:
^^;;
(:

[LastChance2Dance]

Aw, thanks.(: