Keep in mind that this is a stream of consciousness.
I suppose if a 404 Error had a feeling, this would be it. I feel like I'm lost in a deep fog, shrouded in darkness... It feels, suffocating. Looking at myself, makes me want to puke because I feel this way. I have no reason to feel like this... I have a great life! I mean, yeah, things have been kind of stressful, but it hasn't been bad enough to drive as far as depression. And yet... I feel like I've fallen back into that bad place again. I never had the guts to actually do anything to myself, but I always kept something nearby, in case I did... In case I couldn't take it anymore and I just had to feel.... something.
But... This time is different. I don't feel numb... I just feel.... less, like the wind on my face has been reduced to a gentle breeze. A gentle breeze that tugs at my clothes, trying to pull me further and further into my mind, further into the darkness. The darkness is scary, but in a way, it feels safe at the same time. I'd rather be safe somewhere else. Somewhere warm, somewhere more alive, a place where I can close my eyes and not fear for my life. A place where I can sleep easy and finally stop worrying about everything. Maybe being numb wouldn't be so bad...
No... not numb. Because one thing I can only stand to feel right now.
And that... is love.
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