Hey so I don't really know who to show these to because I have just started trying to write, but I thought I would share these and get some feedback!! Thanks!
The Last Drop
It’s time to show those scars
And to let you know
I’ll be coming back for more..
I found a genie at the bottom of that bottle
And I used my wishes up.
I used them up like wasted breaths,
So hand me another bottle
and let’s see how far I get.
If only he would grant the wish that I want the most
If only I could really make a wish come true.
Make these lines
That cross my knuckles
Fade away.
Make these burnt out eyes forget…
Forget every sin they have seen…
And every lie these ears
Every lie they have tried to ignore.
(I don't understand exactly what's going on here. Does the character wish for the lies to be forgotten? Perhaps the dots separate these ideas too much.)
Where is my genie?
Where is my bottle?
Oh I wish
How I wish
For you.
(I don't completely understand the meaning of this poem. I definitely feel a sense of false hope and depressive yearning, that the narrator longs to be with possibly somebody that they once had, and now do not? I'll have to come back to this. I find it really intriguing.)
Inhuman Robotics
Don’t stress the days until they come,
and when they are done you can forget yesterday.
You can act eleven forever,
but you will always turn twelve.
You can call a rock a diamond,
but that does not make it so.
So when I tell you I am broken
it depends how much I show.
I think I lost a screw,
somewhere back along the trail…
Will you come search with me,
for my skin begins to pale.
I am sick,
if only just in my mind.
If you were to look
there is no telling what you would find.
I may just be malfunctioning
or still just incomplete,
but to say that I am beyond repair
is to admit utter defeat.
So what I mean to say,
even as I fall apart screw by screw,
is that I would stand tall and smile for you,
until my circuits blew.
Sands of Summer
She collected hearts made of stone,
The ones she thought most resembled her own.
She piled them underfoot
And crushed them into sand.
The sand between her toes,
It was the same sand under mine.
Shards of a summer I’d rather not soon forget.
Full of things I know I likely won’t soon regret.
Stones may break,
And metal will rust…
Hearts may ache
And cover with dust…
But only a fool would dust off this stone,
Let alone
Put it on display.
Here this is for you,
The one I never knew
The one who turned this stone
Into sand
And lit a new fire,
That has burned through,
Made glass,
And ignited my eyes again.
I can still feel the rust
But it is peeling away.
I’ve felt a gear move,
Maybe two.
(I really like the ideas in this poem, but the jagged rhyme scheme kind of ruins it for me. Perhaps if the rhythm were more consistent, it would work more successfully.)
250
200
100
