How to be a good understanding friend?

[Delethisplz]

Jezabel_Clearwater

Janna565

Fallacy Angel

My best friend as Asperger's Syndrome. It's a very mild form, but he has it.
Sometimes its hard to express feelings for him, and he is very "relationship stupid". The thing is, their brains just don't put the same things together that ours do. I suggest using your internet connection to look up and research all you can about the syndrome, and also be clear and concise when you talk to him.

It took me almost three years to be able to talk to my best friend without a lot of miscommunication, and occasionally I'll say something that hurts his feelings, without even realizing it!
sad

He is just like any other person in that he has needs, and wants companionship, it's just that someone with this particular syndrome has troubles communicating.


It is however, highly worth it to have an "intimate" relationship if you really and truly like the guy.

I can't imagine myself being best friends with anyone else. smile
It'll be tough, but it is definitely worth it.

Thanks so much this made me feel better! Yes I have already researched a lot I think he thinks too much we are the complete opposites actually but I don't want to give up whee

Hey sometimes opposites tend to get along better than people who are the same. Opposites attract smile

Haha he said that to me too a several times when we were teenagers

[Delethisplz]

I really need some more courage to do something about this

[Lord Lapin]

As someone with Asperger Syndrome, I'll tell you a few hints I wish past lovers were told:

1. Just because we don't show emotion, doesn't mean we don't feel it. If he seems bored and placant, he may just very well be nervous or happy. If you want him to express his feelings, it'd be best to give him a creative vent to do it: such as in art form, in music form, or in written form. Often times we tell our feelings better in word form and communicate that way. Passing cute notes together and hiding them in eachothers pockets when you/he aren't looking makes for adorable fun and becomes a pleasant surprise when you discover them.

2. In "social" situations, It is mostly "talking at" instead of talking with. I didn't want to ruin anything and constantly felt the need to reply in some fashion. I know I feel obligated to or else I risk feeling left out... since I'm not really socially inclined or know HOW I'm suppose to reply.

3. Introduce him to many new things, odds are he's been afraid to try them out of comfort of familiar surroundings. My last partner showed me new places, new foods, new movies, new games... it was very magnificent and I couldn't have asked for anyone better in my life.

4. When you want to have a casual conversation with him, try it in an area where you two are alone. I myself was kind of afraid and paranoid of people listening in on me or something.

[Delethisplz]

Lord Lapin

As someone with Asperger Syndrome, I'll tell you a few hints I wish past lovers were told:

1. Just because we don't show emotion, doesn't mean we don't feel it. If he seems bored and placant, he may just very well be nervous or happy. If you want him to express his feelings, it'd be best to give him a creative vent to do it: such as in art form, in music form, or in written form. Often times we tell our feelings better in word form and communicate that way. Passing cute notes together and hiding them in eachothers pockets when you/he aren't looking makes for adorable fun and becomes a pleasant surprise when you discover them.

2. In "social" situations, It is mostly "talking at" instead of talking with. I didn't want to ruin anything and constantly felt the need to reply in some fashion. I know I feel obligated to or else I risk feeling left out... since I'm not really socially inclined or know HOW I'm suppose to reply.

3. Introduce him to many new things, odds are he's been afraid to try them out of comfort of familiar surroundings. My last partner showed me new places, new foods, new movies, new games... it was very magnificent and I couldn't have asked for anyone better in my life.

4. When you want to have a casual conversation with him, try it in an area where you two are alone. I myself was kind of afraid and paranoid of people listening in on me or something.

Yeah he does draw and plays the piano I guess he did once play a song for me..and he is paranoid too I wish he was more comfortable but haha thanks I'll keep that in mind!

[Delethisplz]

If anyone wants to give me tips or advice let me know or become friends I have more questions to ask actually neutral

[Delethisplz]

He wants me to move out from this place and live on my own but he send me a msg on Valentine's day and after that I got the idea that he is moving away to another country in 5 years so I was thinking to myself that maybe it is time to move on if he is going away that means he has no plans of being with me at all but then again why would he keep continueing to talk to me if he knows that we won't be together? I stopped caring really sweatdrop Gah I don't know what to think anymore