Transtastic! ||The Chat Thread||

Do you agree to the new rules of this thread and promise to uphold them if we are moved back? (Read first post, first page)

I agree.	67.0%	[ 260 ]
I disagree.	6.2%	[ 24 ]
I don't want to read them.	8.0%	[ 31 ]
Who cares?	2.6%	[ 10 ]
Gold.	16.2%	[ 63 ]
Total Votes:			[ 388 ]

[Syndactyly]

Tuah

Syndactyly

Tuah

Syndactyly

What started this all?

He said he could never see me as a man, that I am androgynous.

He based that on my genitals. But "man" and "androgyne" are gendered terms. So pretty much he was forcing his perception of my gender on me. And that made me feel like s**t. So I disagreed, and I let everyone know how shitty it made me feel. He insists on proving to everybody that I'm not a man... >_>; That you are not a woman. I don't understand it.

I meant more in relation to Damen and his dysphoria.

Oh, geez.

I did explain it to Lupin (he also asked this question) but I deleted the PM and it's no longer in my outbox... *sigh* Well, I suppose I can try again. Damen was complaining about how he can never be happy with his current set, how he can never have sex without full surgery, etc. etc. And I interjected and tried to explain to him that he should stop wallowing in his pain and fighting it so much, but instead should accept his pain and address the cause. This led to a lot of emotinal responses from him, he never really did actually get my point, but he brought up a lot of stuff out of nowhere and I lost track of my original point so it just sort of escalated into an argument about other things entirely.

First impressions have created a bit of a grudge eh? This is your chance to stop the haunting.

Oh yeah. He's holding hella grudge. I'm not, really. I'll still disagree with him if he brings up the same old points, and he's said a lot of immature things to me since it all started, but I honestly am not really a grudge holder. It's just not in my nature.

[Syndactyly]

DamenAJ

Syndactyly

Tuah

Syndactyly

What started this all?

He said he could never see me as a man, that I am androgynous.

He based that on my genitals. But "man" and "androgyne" are gendered terms. So pretty much he was forcing his perception of my gender on me. And that made me feel like s**t. So I disagreed, and I let everyone know how shitty it made me feel. He insists on proving to everybody that I'm not a man... >_>; That you are not a woman. I don't understand it.

I meant more in relation to Damen and his dysphoria.

Oh, geez.

I did explain it to Lupin (he also asked this question) but I deleted the PM and it's no longer in my outbox... *sigh* Well, I suppose I can try again. Damen was complaining about how he can never be happy with his current set, how he can never have sex without full surgery, etc. etc. And I interjected and tried to explain to him that he should stop wallowing in his pain and fighting it so much, but instead should accept his pain and address the cause. This led to a lot of emotinal responses from him, he never really did actually get my point, but he brought up a lot of stuff out of nowhere and I lost track of my original point so it just sort of escalated into an argument about other things entirely.

.... You never did tell me your definition of acceptance.... I don't understand what "accepting pain" is. I'm not going to get into it, but I'd just like to note, regardless of what your goal might have been, you were pretty offensive. Though the stuff you've been saying to Q, I agree with for the most part.

I told you several times, in several different ways. You're fighting the pain. You're bathing in it and letting it control your life. Accepting the pain gives you the chance to put it aside and address the real issue. Acceptance means you are no longer letting that pain control your life. You have told yourself, "I am not going to let this pain control me anymore" and meant it. You have told yourself, "I know I am in pain, but struggling and expressing my woes changes nothing."

[Adassai]

Syndactyly

SuperElliot

Syndactyly

SuperElliot

Syndactyly

The Viscount

You know .. this might sound crazy, but I think, even if there was some kind of "pill" to get rid of being transgendered, I don't think I'd take it. I mean, yeah being trans can be a pain in the a**, but .. I guess I don't *want* to be fixed, in a way. Sometimes I think ..

"wow, look at all this. Look at this amazing world! And I have .. eyes. And legs and arms, and I can move around and interact with the world. Awesome."

So when I think like that, I guess my disphoria about my body lessens .. a little bit. xD

I think I'll probably never be able to go entirely stealth. I like being trans. I don't usually apply labels to myself, but I think this is one that I can be okay with. xB

At this point, I wouldn't take the magic pill. My body is already "too male" for me to become a woman. Sure, I know that MtFs get past the effects of testosterone... so I guess I'm merely using my transition as an excuse... but honestly, could a little pill really make all of those feelings go away?

*sigh* I suppose I'm dodging the point, here. I'm supposed to assume the pill is a 100% cure, and that all of those feelings DO go away...

I honestly am not sure what I would do. I want to be a "real" man so bad. But if the pill would take away that desire and make me a woman... Geez, I'd have to think about it for a long while.

You know, if we're getting into magical pills here...couldn't there also be a magical curing pill that would automatically make you entirely, biologically, the other sex? Virtual problem solved!

Ohh! If they had a magic pill that did that I would definitely take it! surprised

I'm pretty sure the pill Viscount was talking about, though, was a pill that made the feelings go away so we could return to our "original" roles. sad

That's what I'm saying, though; if they had a pill that could make your mind alter that much, I'm sure they could come up with a pill that could make your body alter. If we're talking about purely magical, theoretical blahblahblah.

And to answer your previous question, I used 'was' because he committed suicide about two years ago.

Yeah, yeah! I would definitely take the magic pill that gave me a "real" man's body!! I would honestly be complete, I really would.

Ohh geez. Someone ******** up. gonk Guessing he didn't get the help he actually needed? *sigh* That's a real damn shame... Guess the best way to look at it is that he isn't in pain anymore.

lol, yeah, I can understand. I think if I was born in a girl's body, I'd be going bonkers; so you're hella lot stronger than me.

But, yeah, he just couldn't take never being 100% male; he never talked to me about it, refused to talk about, but from his last note to me, it seemed like it was a 'I'll never be good enough in anyone's eyes' sorta thing. But you're right; he's not anymore. But I was kinda in love with him, so it didn't make things too easy on me. But I'm happy that at least that was what he wanted.

[Syndactyly]

SuperElliot

lol, yeah, I can understand. I think if I was born in a girl's body, I'd be going bonkers; so you're hella lot stronger than me.

But, yeah, he just couldn't take never being 100% male; he never talked to me about it, refused to talk about, but from his last note to me, it seemed like it was a 'I'll never be good enough in anyone's eyes' sorta thing. But you're right; he's not anymore. But I was kinda in love with him, so it didn't make things too easy on me. But I'm happy that at least that was what he wanted.

It took many years of being very scared and confused to get to where I am now... I went for almost a whole year in agony over it. I can't say I went crazy at any point, but I did lose touch with reality at times.

*sigh* That's tough. Sounds like he didn't have a very good support system. We all feel terrible that we cannot be "truly" the gender we feel we are, but those of us with good networks know and have met many very successful trans people who are married and happy, both gay and straight. It's a shame he was not able to see this for himself...

It hurts me everyday that I can't have a real p***s. But my life is so valuable to me... I'd be sad if I didn't have arms and legs, too... but I just don't think I could end my life over the condition my body is in. My mind is simply too important to me.

[Jeannette Willow]

SuperElliot

So, like...I just happened to scoot in here on sheer curiosity and...holy arguing. o.o But um...am I allowed to just drop in and say hi? As a person no one has ever heard of before?

Hi Elliot, how are you? Care for some carrot cake and a truffle? Maybe a cup of Earl Grey tea to go with it?

You've stumbled upon an old, time-honored internet tradition: a troll. Somebody here seems to be deliberately mis-applying two similar yet distinctly different concepts interchangably, to whit sex and gender. As a troll, they thrive on stirring up discontent, anger and confusion - Hail Eris! smile A few have arisen to tackle it (hi Original Syn!), while others try to ignore the brouhaha as best we can.

So, pull up a seat, grab some eats and kick back among some brilliant, feisty, kind guys, girls, undecided and who-cares folk.

[Adassai]

Jeannette Willow

SuperElliot

So, like...I just happened to scoot in here on sheer curiosity and...holy arguing. o.o But um...am I allowed to just drop in and say hi? As a person no one has ever heard of before?

Hi Elliot, how are you? Care for some carrot cake and a truffle? Maybe a cup of Earl Grey tea to go with it?

You've stumbled upon an old, time-honored internet tradition: a troll. Somebody here seems to be deliberately mis-applying two similar yet distinctly different concepts interchangably, to whit sex and gender. As a troll, they thrive on stirring up discontent, anger and confusion - Hail Eris! smile A few have arisen to tackle it (hi Original Syn!), while others try to ignore the brouhaha as best we can.

So, pull up a seat, grab some eats and kick back among some brilliant, feisty, kind guys, girls, undecided and who-cares folk.

Thank you; a cup of tea would be quite lovely. Stuck in America, I can't say I get one very often! <3

[Syndactyly]

Jeannette Willow

SuperElliot

So, like...I just happened to scoot in here on sheer curiosity and...holy arguing. o.o But um...am I allowed to just drop in and say hi? As a person no one has ever heard of before?

Hi Elliot, how are you? Care for some carrot cake and a truffle? Maybe a cup of Earl Grey tea to go with it?

You've stumbled upon an old, time-honored internet tradition: a troll. Somebody here seems to be deliberately mis-applying two similar yet distinctly different concepts interchangably, to whit sex and gender. As a troll, they thrive on stirring up discontent, anger and confusion - Hail Eris! smile A few have arisen to tackle it (hi Original Syn!), while others try to ignore the brouhaha as best we can.

So, pull up a seat, grab some eats and kick back among some brilliant, feisty, kind guys, girls, undecided and who-cares folk.

UGHHHHHH. Every time you people mention carrot cake I get sooo hungryyyy, lol. I really should eat something...

You know, that's the funny thing. I don't think Q is trolling. I think he is confused. Honestly, how can I expect him to understand my gender identity, or anyone else's for that matter, when he really hasn't even established his own? He lacks the personal experience of knowing what it is really like to firmly know your own gender. I used to have feeling very similar to what he is expressing now... I had those feelings when I was confused about my gender identity. I kept thinking that I couldn't ever be a man because I had a v****a. And I kept thinking that because I had a v****a that I was "straight" when dating men.

[Adassai]

Oh, so, I'm kinda curious. I don't mean to be offensive at all; goodness knows I have nothing against transexuals/transgenders/whateverthetermsareIdon'tknow, having been in love with two in just 17 short years, but I've noticed that there are a /very/ large number of FTM trans on gaia. Like...about half of the guys on here. Can I ask why this is?

[Syndactyly]

SuperElliot

Thank you; a cup of tea would be quite lovely. Stuck in America, I can't say I get one very often! <3

I LOVE TEA! I make my own on a fairly regular basis. I could not happily live without tea... And I'm a dumb ol' Californian. xd

[Edana_Kellen]

SuperElliot

So, like...I just happened to scoot in here on sheer curiosity and...holy arguing. o.o But um...am I allowed to just drop in and say hi? As a person no one has ever heard of before?

Hi there! You're fine, just that we have a sort of debate going on right now, I think it's more a fight now though >w>

[Syndactyly]

SuperElliot

Oh, so, I'm kinda curious. I don't mean to be offensive at all; goodness knows I have nothing against transexuals/transgenders/whateverthetermsareIdon'tknow, having been in love with two in just 17 short years, but I've noticed that there are a /very/ large number of FTM trans on gaia. Like...about half of the guys on here. Can I ask why this is?

LOL!!

That's funny. I really don't know why that is. I know that Gaia attracts a lot of girls, it's a hella gay (gay as in rainbows and s**t, not gay as in stupid) website. Dollies? WTF? Seriously? Pssh...

Anyway, I can't really tell you why it attracts FtMs. I sometimes think Gaia TURNS people in to wanna-be FtMs, to be honest. I've met so many people who started out as "normal girls" here who got obsessed with yaoi and "became" boys because of the sexual thrill they get out of gay anime boys. It's usually a phase for them and doesn't really last...

My mom actually argued that Gaia turned me into an FtM, but I've had the feelings since long before Gaia and yaoi... >_____>;

Yeah, I joined this website in 2004 because a boy I liked told me it was a cool.

[Tuah]

Syndactyly

Tuah

Syndactyly

Tuah

Syndactyly

What started this all?

He said he could never see me as a man, that I am androgynous.

He based that on my genitals. But "man" and "androgyne" are gendered terms. So pretty much he was forcing his perception of my gender on me. And that made me feel like s**t. So I disagreed, and I let everyone know how shitty it made me feel. He insists on proving to everybody that I'm not a man... >_>; That you are not a woman. I don't understand it.

I meant more in relation to Damen and his dysphoria.

Oh, geez.

I did explain it to Lupin (he also asked this question) but I deleted the PM and it's no longer in my outbox... *sigh* Well, I suppose I can try again. Damen was complaining about how he can never be happy with his current set, how he can never have sex without full surgery, etc. etc. And I interjected and tried to explain to him that he should stop wallowing in his pain and fighting it so much, but instead should accept his pain and address the cause. This led to a lot of emotinal responses from him, he never really did actually get my point, but he brought up a lot of stuff out of nowhere and I lost track of my original point so it just sort of escalated into an argument about other things entirely.

First impressions have created a bit of a grudge eh? This is your chance to stop the haunting.

Oh yeah. He's holding hella grudge. I'm not, really. I'll still disagree with him if he brings up the same old points, and he's said a lot of immature things to me since it all started, but I honestly am not really a grudge holder. It's just not in my nature.

A grudge is mutual, as it stands between two friends.
Even if you don't hold all of it, is there so much that keeps you forgiving immaturity and restore friendship?

[Adassai]

Syndactyly

SuperElliot

Oh, so, I'm kinda curious. I don't mean to be offensive at all; goodness knows I have nothing against transexuals/transgenders/whateverthetermsareIdon'tknow, having been in love with two in just 17 short years, but I've noticed that there are a /very/ large number of FTM trans on gaia. Like...about half of the guys on here. Can I ask why this is?

LOL!!

That's funny. I really don't know why that is. I know that Gaia attracts a lot of girls, it's a hella gay (gay as in rainbows and s**t, not gay as in stupid) website. Dollies? WTF? Seriously? Pssh...

Anyway, I can't really tell you why it attracts FtMs. I sometimes think Gaia TURNS people in to wanna-be FtMs, to be honest. I've met so many people who started out as "normal girls" here who got obsessed with yaoi and "became" boys because of the sexual thrill they get out of gay anime boys. It's usually a phase for them and doesn't really last...

My mom actually argued that Gaia turned me into an FtM, but I've had the feelings since long before Gaia and yaoi... >_____>;

-shudders- Oh, god, yaoi...it's...not the greatest subject with me. As a 5'2" gay male...I'm not too happy with the whole thing, especially the whole 'uke' nonsese. And the yaoi fangirls that scream it at me in the halls and don't seem to understand my completely loathing of it.

[Syndactyly]

Tuah

A grudge is mutual, as it stands between two friends.
Even if you don't hold all of it, is there so much that keeps you forgiving immaturity and restore friendship?

I don't know, I don't think I've been particularly aggressive to any of his responses. Blunt, maybe. If you've noticed, when he doesn't talk about any of the stuff I was arguing with, I treat him like everybody else. It's not him I'm really arguing against, it's some of his points.

And I know for a fact that grudges are not always mutual. A lot of people that have blocked me in the past I wish they'd talk to me or hear me out once in a while.

[DamenAJ]

Syndactyly

DamenAJ

Syndactyly

Tuah

Syndactyly

What started this all?

He said he could never see me as a man, that I am androgynous.

He based that on my genitals. But "man" and "androgyne" are gendered terms. So pretty much he was forcing his perception of my gender on me. And that made me feel like s**t. So I disagreed, and I let everyone know how shitty it made me feel. He insists on proving to everybody that I'm not a man... >_>; That you are not a woman. I don't understand it.

I meant more in relation to Damen and his dysphoria.

Oh, geez.

I did explain it to Lupin (he also asked this question) but I deleted the PM and it's no longer in my outbox... *sigh* Well, I suppose I can try again. Damen was complaining about how he can never be happy with his current set, how he can never have sex without full surgery, etc. etc. And I interjected and tried to explain to him that he should stop wallowing in his pain and fighting it so much, but instead should accept his pain and address the cause. This led to a lot of emotinal responses from him, he never really did actually get my point, but he brought up a lot of stuff out of nowhere and I lost track of my original point so it just sort of escalated into an argument about other things entirely.

.... You never did tell me your definition of acceptance.... I don't understand what "accepting pain" is. I'm not going to get into it, but I'd just like to note, regardless of what your goal might have been, you were pretty offensive. Though the stuff you've been saying to Q, I agree with for the most part.

I told you several times, in several different ways. You're fighting the pain. You're bathing in it and letting it control your life. Accepting the pain gives you the chance to put it aside and address the real issue. Acceptance means you are no longer letting that pain control your life. You have told yourself, "I am not going to let this pain control me anymore" and meant it. You have told yourself, "I know I am in pain, but struggling and expressing my woes changes nothing."

Welp... Here's how I think about it, and this isn't getting all heated like last time. It's just me talking it out.

I'm doing everything I can to better my life, yeah, maybe I am fighting my pain, maybe I am. But I don't know how not to. I don't know how to cope very well either, I'm very repressed. If I'm trying and if I don't know how to stop fighting my pain, why can't I do both?

I repress a lot of my feelings. Lately I've been trying to be more expressive, so if I have to vent, have to sulk, have to hide sometimes... why can't I? What can I really do to change it, besides trying therapy and drugs?

Note: I'm more logical today, not overly likely to become a debate, I'm legit asking this time. Though I'm not inviting you to talk about my junk, or debate my sex/gender.

Also, the issue came up twice, and you were a jerk about it both times. It came up slightly different, but if it ended badly the first time, why'd you press it the second? I'm just trying to let you know, it's not an immature grudge. It's an issue where I don't think you're owning up to having been a jerk, and that just makes me like you that much less.