marshmallowcreampie
Meroko_Love
Yes, that most likely is the reason why males make up the majority of perpetrators of violent crime and also the majority of violent crime victims. Men tend to express aggression with verbal assault or physical assault to each other.
However, women can be very mean to each other as well. Relational aggression is very common among women in our culture, (because we are not supposed to be assertive at all), and it can arguably be even more deeply scarring than a punch to the face. There are many women who have been victims of this and need therapy to overcome the hurt.
The point I'm making is not that women are terrible, but that given our patriarchal society, physical violence is seen as the worst and most destructive kind, because it is historically what men have done, while the relational aggression that women have done gets brushed aside as "oh, that's just women being catty" as though it's not nearly as bad as the physical aggression.
Even in schools, bullying is addressed as physical and verbal aggression, while the girls have their own culture of violence and ways to harm each other that is not even noticed by teachers or parents. Example: "Mean Girls".
Yeah, that's true. Me and my friends got picked on every day by one group of girls, but the teachers NEVER stepped in until things got physical.
Yep. If we taught girls that expressing anger is okay to do, and that they don't have to be sweet and kind 100% of the time to be accepted, they would be able to be assertive and not have to resort to those indirect, "under-the-radar" forms of aggression.
I personally try to be aware if I'm ever using relational aggression (such as rolling my eyes at someone's comment) because I've found that it doesn't solver the tension I feel towards that person. So I instead will directly approach the person and just tell them I was offended or disturbed by their comment or whatever. It leaves me feeling more successful and less angry, and gives the other person the respect to actually try and talk with them about the problem.
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