lil_lostii
Have you dated online?
Yeah, it didn't work out though. |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
19.2% | [ 6650 ] |
Nope. |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
36.3% | [ 12587 ] |
Yes! And things worked out great. |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
11.0% | [ 3813 ] |
I didn't choose to date online, I just fell in love. |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
14.3% | [ 4945 ] |
Poll whores, click here! |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
19.2% | [ 6634 ] |
Total Votes: | [ 34629 ] |
Lillith-of-the-Rose
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 05:14:28 +0000
Marishka
internet dating is stupid and unsafe
Eating is unsafe. You could get food posioning.
Driving is safe. You could get in an accident
Going to school is unsafe. There could be a shooting.
See what I'm getting at? Anything is unsafe
Quote:
and anybody can lie about anything.
The key word here is anybody. Anybody. the internet doesn't generate liars.
Quote:
u could be thinking that ure going out with this really hot guy (or girl) and really it's someone fat and ugly who is over 40 and seeing if he can actually make a connection with u that ends up with u being humiliated and him getting off on internet sex.
1. Most importantly; TRUST
2. Phones, Webcams, Pictures
3. Whats with the stereotypes? Just because someone is overweight or "ugly" by your terms (btw, beauty is subjective wink ) doesn't mean they aren't a good person
Sindear
(?)Community Member
Offline
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 15:30:22 +0000
lil_lostii
noo wayyyy . dont date on net its bad .. you dont know the person well
Is this post even worth my time...
noo wayyy . dont date off net its bad .. you dont know the person well (They could be a weirdo)
b1zarr0
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 17:05:50 +0000
I myself think internet dating is ok on the premise that you CAN meet in real life...
in all honesty just "going out and getting a gf" is a helluva lot easier said than done domokun
in all honesty just "going out and getting a gf" is a helluva lot easier said than done domokun
Sexy Frozen
(?)Community Member
Offline
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 17:16:20 +0000
You said not to speak about your relationship yay I won't.
Let me start off by saying, yeah I have been in an internet relationship and I think that it's not good depending on certain conditions. For example, you date on the internet and your gf/bf lives somewhere in the same state, area, generalized zone that is close enough to visit whenever neccessary to me is great and ok.
Dating over the net starts losing it's effectiveness when the distance is much greater because it becomes difficult to have physical contact. You might date on the Internet from a long ways away for a long time, but when you meet you better be ready to stick around because being able to be in contact with one another, in my belief, creates a much stronger bond than simple text scrolling. It's easier to lie, want to lie, tell half truths or even tell the truth (which might not be good) through a wire than it is to in person especially when you like that person.
Ok so physically touching isn't everything. if it was, my relationship wouldn't have lasted three years like it did, but to me it was a big thing because the closeness allows you to express I love you in a milisecond rather than the 3 seconds it takes to type send and recieve and it also makes it much clearer. When you 'hug' someone through the phone they don't feel it. when you hug someone for real, it generate emotion.
Alright so yes physical touch is good but trust is also alot harder through a wire. If your gf/bf lives next door it's easier to just go over and say 'hi' if that's what feeds the relationship.
Basically it's not for everyone yeah, but I strongly don't recommend it because the few that it is for, are yeah, few. Most people aren't ready to be commited from such a distance.
(ah it's been awhile, where's the subscribe button?)
Let me start off by saying, yeah I have been in an internet relationship and I think that it's not good depending on certain conditions. For example, you date on the internet and your gf/bf lives somewhere in the same state, area, generalized zone that is close enough to visit whenever neccessary to me is great and ok.
Dating over the net starts losing it's effectiveness when the distance is much greater because it becomes difficult to have physical contact. You might date on the Internet from a long ways away for a long time, but when you meet you better be ready to stick around because being able to be in contact with one another, in my belief, creates a much stronger bond than simple text scrolling. It's easier to lie, want to lie, tell half truths or even tell the truth (which might not be good) through a wire than it is to in person especially when you like that person.
Ok so physically touching isn't everything. if it was, my relationship wouldn't have lasted three years like it did, but to me it was a big thing because the closeness allows you to express I love you in a milisecond rather than the 3 seconds it takes to type send and recieve and it also makes it much clearer. When you 'hug' someone through the phone they don't feel it. when you hug someone for real, it generate emotion.
Alright so yes physical touch is good but trust is also alot harder through a wire. If your gf/bf lives next door it's easier to just go over and say 'hi' if that's what feeds the relationship.
Basically it's not for everyone yeah, but I strongly don't recommend it because the few that it is for, are yeah, few. Most people aren't ready to be commited from such a distance.
(ah it's been awhile, where's the subscribe button?)
Kukushka
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 18:55:07 +0000
Sexy Frozen
Let me start off by saying, yeah I have been in an internet relationship and I think that it's not good depending on certain conditions. For example, you date on the internet and your gf/bf lives somewhere in the same state, area, generalized zone that is close enough to visit whenever neccessary to me is great and ok.
Dating over the net starts losing it's effectiveness when the distance is much greater because it becomes difficult to have physical contact.
Dating over the net starts losing it's effectiveness when the distance is much greater because it becomes difficult to have physical contact.
Depends on the people involved. I was only able to see my husband a handful of times in the two years before we could move in together. I have quite a few friends who lived a huge distance away (as in, across the atlantic from each other) for years, being able to visit only very infrequently. And yet these relationships have worked. Why? Because the people involved were willing to make it work.
Saying "online dating is only effective under X conditions" is about as ignorant as saying "online dating doesn't work." People do make it work. People make it work regardless of what the conditions are.
Sexy Frozen
You might date on the Internet from a long ways away for a long time, but when you meet you better be ready to stick around because being able to be in contact with one another, in my belief, creates a much stronger bond than simple text scrolling.
In your belief. Not everyone agrees. For example, I find conversation to be far more bond-strengthening than touching.
Sexy Frozen
It's easier to lie, want to lie, tell half truths or even tell the truth (which might not be good) through a wire than it is to in person especially when you like that person.
I hear this a lot, but I haven't seen it to be true. For some people it might feel easier, but for many people it isn't. How people react to different modes of communication depends on the people.
Sexy Frozen
Ok so physically touching isn't everything. if it was, my relationship wouldn't have lasted three years like it did, but to me it was a big thing because the closeness allows you to express I love you in a milisecond rather than the 3 seconds it takes to type send and recieve and it also makes it much clearer. When you 'hug' someone through the phone they don't feel it. when you hug someone for real, it generate emotion.
When my husband typed "I love you" to me, it was real. It generated emotion. When he says it, it does the same. I find no noticeable difference. As for physical touching, it's great and all but I would much rather hear my husband tell me he loves me than just hug me. For me, articulating your feelings in words is far more real than expressing them through touch.
Please prove to me that my experiences are dillusions and that you know better about how other people feel than they do.
Sexy Frozen
Alright so yes physical touch is good but trust is also alot harder through a wire. If your gf/bf lives next door it's easier to just go over and say 'hi' if that's what feeds the relationship.
imo, if the only way you can trust someone is if you can check up on them whenever you doubt them - you don't really trust them.
I had absolutely no trouble trusting my husband when we were online. Being able to stalk him whenever I please has not in any way strengthened our relationship.
Again, please prove to me that your personal experiences are more correct than mine.
Sexy Frozen
Basically it's not for everyone yeah, but I strongly don't recommend it because the few that it is for, are yeah, few. Most people aren't ready to be commited from such a distance.
Most people aren't ready to be committed at all. That's why I would never recommend any relationship. If someone needs my recommendation to pursue it, they probably aren't ready.
Now, I know I am probably coming off as a hardass or something. But the point I am making here is that different people experience things differently. Rather than saying "don't bother with long distance relationships because of X," why not just leave it up to the individuals involved to decide what is right for them? Yeah, sure, a lot of people will make the wrong choices because they don't know themselves well enough. But that's ok, a little heartache never hurt anyone. But it's important not to assume that our personal experiences are the end-all-be-all of how experiences are.
Sexy Frozen
(?)Community Member
Offline
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 20:06:26 +0000
Alright, well let me continue with saying firstly I don't know how to qoute like that. Whatever time I've spent on Gaia i've never understood how it quite works and whenever I do it comes out all wrong and perhaps it would be best if I just address your responses by number or letter. Whatever so long as it gets done and you understand what i'm saying.
1. I suppose I should add a small disclaimer that says something along the lines of "IMO" after every sentence. No offense, but everything stated as a feeling or emotion here is my belief.
Basically what I say is that most relationships have the whole touchy feely thing and need to be close. Just because your relationship in particular may be safe at a distance, not everyone else's is like that. In fact yours is a unique and rare one that you must understand a very large portion of the population will not experience in their life time due to the fact they are not are trusting or caring as you or your spouse.
I do not believe a relationship will only work period. That goes to say that I don't mean to say there is any specific way that a relationship will or won't work since there are an infinite number of factors to put in play, however, I do say that I believe that majority of relationships won't work because of x and y and z and whatever factor I place down not due to the fact my own relationship did not work, but because of my friends who also have had varying experiences. Please do not think I feel the way I do because of emotion, but understand I think logically most people will feel negative about the distance placed between them.
2. Sure I enjoyed talking to my significant other and if you don't then you shouldn't really be in a relationship whether distance is involved or not. I feel it is easier to speak with your mouth (unless you are mute) and hear with your ears (unless you are deaf) than it is to rely on a piece of machinery to relay emotion, feelings, or even simply messages. You may have a reliable phone that has max batteries always and doesn't overheat or a computer with a microphone or webcamera, but no matter how you look at it, it's just a machine that can't be as efficient as you in any way shape or form...except at adding subtracting, (maybe multiplying) etc. When I say touch I do not mean actual touch. The idea that a relationship could ever be built on looks, touching, or emotion alone is laughable. However it's also insulting to be told a machine can better convey how I feel about someone I love than actually being there to say it.
3.You may be in a safe relationship where your trust is mutual however I must go back to the part where the majority of people will lie or be lied to in my belief. I'm not saying everyone will lie or be tempted to due to distance and i'm not saying it is easier to lie (whether I previously stated or not), but I believe that it is easier for most people to lie through a wire than it is for them to lie face to face. Of course, if someone is ready to lie then the relationship is already over so i guess it doesn't matter...
4.I know not 'your' specific feelings and again, it's nice to see that you have a unique relationship, but most people don't have one or any. Most people may mistake their emotions for love and thus make the word more watered down than is already is. When your spouse says "I love you" to you it may mean the world or more, but to someone else it might mean nothing. absolutely nothing.
Your thoughts are not delusional, nor stupid or ignorant. You're right that some people will experience true love at even a distance, but most will not. Or will love, but the I love you they send may not be returned as adequetely.
5.Again, in no way shape or form are either of our personal experiences more than slightly relevant here. Most people will not be able to handle telling the truth over a device or even in person, however more people will feel more safe and trusting in a relationship closer to home than they will at a distance due to the fact they can check in whenever. Not everyone can or will be willing to trust in my belief and those few that can are truly gifted.
If I were to relate my personal experience to this, I would state the I always trusted my significant other, and in the end I paid for it with a little heartbreak, which yes I did get over. You don't just trust them not to do something or to do something, but to always do and never do. You trust them with your heart and soul and if you don't, then again, the relationship will probably fail, but it will also fail if those you trust, can't be trusted. Sometimes a distance makes trust harder to place in someone, or harder to keep a promise.
Lastly, Yes of course you came off as a hardass, but I prefer someone who's intelligent over an idiot and you prove to be intelligent so you being a hardass doesn't matter especially if you feel strongly about your opinion.
I hope you understand that you may not recommend anything, but I do recommend not getting in a distance relationship because, yes heartache builds character, but it also makes someone cry when it doesn't have to. a few people who end up failing in a distance relationship will probably do well in a closer based one to which they could have started on earlier instead of taking someone else's (you abstained from recommending) advice on dating at a distance without being properly advised or warned.
Sure I think most people are idiots, but i just hate to see them cry.
1. I suppose I should add a small disclaimer that says something along the lines of "IMO" after every sentence. No offense, but everything stated as a feeling or emotion here is my belief.
Basically what I say is that most relationships have the whole touchy feely thing and need to be close. Just because your relationship in particular may be safe at a distance, not everyone else's is like that. In fact yours is a unique and rare one that you must understand a very large portion of the population will not experience in their life time due to the fact they are not are trusting or caring as you or your spouse.
I do not believe a relationship will only work period. That goes to say that I don't mean to say there is any specific way that a relationship will or won't work since there are an infinite number of factors to put in play, however, I do say that I believe that majority of relationships won't work because of x and y and z and whatever factor I place down not due to the fact my own relationship did not work, but because of my friends who also have had varying experiences. Please do not think I feel the way I do because of emotion, but understand I think logically most people will feel negative about the distance placed between them.
2. Sure I enjoyed talking to my significant other and if you don't then you shouldn't really be in a relationship whether distance is involved or not. I feel it is easier to speak with your mouth (unless you are mute) and hear with your ears (unless you are deaf) than it is to rely on a piece of machinery to relay emotion, feelings, or even simply messages. You may have a reliable phone that has max batteries always and doesn't overheat or a computer with a microphone or webcamera, but no matter how you look at it, it's just a machine that can't be as efficient as you in any way shape or form...except at adding subtracting, (maybe multiplying) etc. When I say touch I do not mean actual touch. The idea that a relationship could ever be built on looks, touching, or emotion alone is laughable. However it's also insulting to be told a machine can better convey how I feel about someone I love than actually being there to say it.
3.You may be in a safe relationship where your trust is mutual however I must go back to the part where the majority of people will lie or be lied to in my belief. I'm not saying everyone will lie or be tempted to due to distance and i'm not saying it is easier to lie (whether I previously stated or not), but I believe that it is easier for most people to lie through a wire than it is for them to lie face to face. Of course, if someone is ready to lie then the relationship is already over so i guess it doesn't matter...
4.I know not 'your' specific feelings and again, it's nice to see that you have a unique relationship, but most people don't have one or any. Most people may mistake their emotions for love and thus make the word more watered down than is already is. When your spouse says "I love you" to you it may mean the world or more, but to someone else it might mean nothing. absolutely nothing.
Your thoughts are not delusional, nor stupid or ignorant. You're right that some people will experience true love at even a distance, but most will not. Or will love, but the I love you they send may not be returned as adequetely.
5.Again, in no way shape or form are either of our personal experiences more than slightly relevant here. Most people will not be able to handle telling the truth over a device or even in person, however more people will feel more safe and trusting in a relationship closer to home than they will at a distance due to the fact they can check in whenever. Not everyone can or will be willing to trust in my belief and those few that can are truly gifted.
If I were to relate my personal experience to this, I would state the I always trusted my significant other, and in the end I paid for it with a little heartbreak, which yes I did get over. You don't just trust them not to do something or to do something, but to always do and never do. You trust them with your heart and soul and if you don't, then again, the relationship will probably fail, but it will also fail if those you trust, can't be trusted. Sometimes a distance makes trust harder to place in someone, or harder to keep a promise.
Lastly, Yes of course you came off as a hardass, but I prefer someone who's intelligent over an idiot and you prove to be intelligent so you being a hardass doesn't matter especially if you feel strongly about your opinion.
I hope you understand that you may not recommend anything, but I do recommend not getting in a distance relationship because, yes heartache builds character, but it also makes someone cry when it doesn't have to. a few people who end up failing in a distance relationship will probably do well in a closer based one to which they could have started on earlier instead of taking someone else's (you abstained from recommending) advice on dating at a distance without being properly advised or warned.
Sure I think most people are idiots, but i just hate to see them cry.
Ebania
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 21:53:03 +0000


.::Ebonysays::.
Sexy Frozen
You said not to speak about your relationship yay I won't.
Let me start off by saying, yeah I have been in an internet relationship and I think that it's not good depending on certain conditions. For example, you date on the internet and your gf/bf lives somewhere in the same state, area, generalized zone that is close enough to visit whenever neccessary to me is great and ok.
Let me start off by saying, yeah I have been in an internet relationship and I think that it's not good depending on certain conditions. For example, you date on the internet and your gf/bf lives somewhere in the same state, area, generalized zone that is close enough to visit whenever neccessary to me is great and ok.
Your experiences don't speak for everyone, though. Those are your experiences, and they show you what doesn't work for you; not necessarily for me, or my boyfriend, or anyone else. We all have our individual preferences.
Quote:
Dating over the net starts losing it's effectiveness when the distance is much greater because it becomes difficult to have physical contact.
Would that not depend solely on preference, as I said before? It's been over a year on the 'net, my relationship. It's not going to stay here forever, but I'm not any less in love with him than I was when we first got together. A year's not a very long time, but it shows committment and love.
Quote:
You might date on the Internet from a long ways away for a long time, but when you meet you better be ready to stick around because being able to be in contact with one another, in my belief, creates a much stronger bond than simple text scrolling.
Once again, that is your opinion and the way you feel about that. You can't speak for everyone.
To me, text-scrolling for a little while with someone I love means a lot more than being in physical contact with someone I feel nothing for. But those are solely my preferences.
To me, text-scrolling for a little while with someone I love means a lot more than being in physical contact with someone I feel nothing for. But those are solely my preferences.
Quote:
It's easier to lie, want to lie, tell half truths or even tell the truth (which might not be good) through a wire than it is to in person especially when you like that person.
How would the truth not be a good thing? It clarifies things, it's honest, and it shows character.
Liars aren't just liars online. To lie, you have to have a certain mindset. You have to believe that, when the conditions are right, it's okay to be dishonest and mean. That's not someone I'd want to date, on or offline.
Liars aren't just liars online. To lie, you have to have a certain mindset. You have to believe that, when the conditions are right, it's okay to be dishonest and mean. That's not someone I'd want to date, on or offline.
Quote:
Ok so physically touching isn't everything. if it was, my relationship wouldn't have lasted three years like it did, but to me it was a big thing because the closeness allows you to express I love you in a milisecond rather than the 3 seconds it takes to type send and recieve and it also makes it much clearer.
No one's saying that the physical closeness isn't important. We're just saying that some people can wait for that physical closeness.
Quote:
When you 'hug' someone through the phone they don't feel it. when you hug someone for real, it generate emotion.
Incorrect.
When I hear my boyfriend's voice, his words, his poetry, emotions are generated. When I'm hugged by a friend offline, emotions are generated, too; just not romantically. But if I'm hugged offline by someone I feel nothing for, there is absolutely no emotional response except disgust.
The physical aspect only generates emotion if there is emotion to be generated, in the first place.
When I hear my boyfriend's voice, his words, his poetry, emotions are generated. When I'm hugged by a friend offline, emotions are generated, too; just not romantically. But if I'm hugged offline by someone I feel nothing for, there is absolutely no emotional response except disgust.
The physical aspect only generates emotion if there is emotion to be generated, in the first place.
Quote:
Alright so yes physical touch is good but trust is also alot harder through a wire.
I have no issues with trust. I trust my boyfriend fully, and he trusts me. I can't say the same for some of the people I know face-to-face.
Quote:
If your gf/bf lives next door it's easier to just go over and say 'hi' if that's what feeds the relationship.
If is the key word.
My relationship is "fed" by quiet nights at home, talking, reciting poetry, and singing to my boyfriend.
No two relationships, no two lovers, are the same.
My relationship is "fed" by quiet nights at home, talking, reciting poetry, and singing to my boyfriend.
No two relationships, no two lovers, are the same.
Quote:
Basically it's not for everyone yeah, but I strongly don't recommend it because the few that it is for, are yeah, few. Most people aren't ready to be commited from such a distance.
And I don't have any issues with that. I don't mind offline daters or offline dating; I respect other's preferences.
I just ask for that same respect in return.
I just ask for that same respect in return.
Quote:
(ah it's been awhile, where's the subscribe button?)
Bottom left of the screen; blue button. :3
.::[/Ebony]::.


Ebania
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 22:28:56 +0000


.::Ebonysays::.
Sexy Frozen
1. I suppose I should add a small disclaimer that says something along the lines of "IMO" after every sentence. No offense, but everything stated as a feeling or emotion here is my belief.
But you should be able to back up your beliefs, right?
Quote:
Basically what I say is that most relationships have the whole touchy feely thing and need to be close. Just because your relationship in particular may be safe at a distance, not everyone else's is like that.
Just like how you prefer immediate physical contact in a relationship. Not all relationships can relate to yours. I'm fine with waiting.
Quote:
In fact yours is a unique and rare one that you must understand a very large portion of the population will not experience in their life time due to the fact they are not are trusting or caring as you or your spouse.
Agreed.
But should long-distance relationships be avoided just because the majority of the population is going to? (I'm not trying to put words in your mouth; I just want to ask.)
But should long-distance relationships be avoided just because the majority of the population is going to? (I'm not trying to put words in your mouth; I just want to ask.)
Quote:
I do not believe a relationship will only work period. That goes to say that I don't mean to say there is any specific way that a relationship will or won't work since there are an infinite number of factors to put in play, however, I do say that I believe that majority of relationships won't work because of x and y and z and whatever factor I place down not due to the fact my own relationship did not work, but because of my friends who also have had varying experiences.
But your experiences do not speak for everyone else's.
If you and your friends, in the romance department, can't live without x, y, or z, that doesn't mean that x, y, or z are mandatory in any other relationship, at the same rate in which you need to have it, or at the same time, or under the same conditions?
What if my relationship can't last without a, b, or c? That doesn't mean that other relationships without a, b, or c can't go on; no one is the same, as I said before.
If you and your friends, in the romance department, can't live without x, y, or z, that doesn't mean that x, y, or z are mandatory in any other relationship, at the same rate in which you need to have it, or at the same time, or under the same conditions?
What if my relationship can't last without a, b, or c? That doesn't mean that other relationships without a, b, or c can't go on; no one is the same, as I said before.
Quote:
Please do not think I feel the way I do because of emotion, but understand I think logically most people will feel negative about the distance placed between them.
It hurts sometimes; but we can live without it for a while. Longer than offline daters, certainly. (No offense.)
Quote:
2. Sure I enjoyed talking to my significant other and if you don't then you shouldn't really be in a relationship whether distance is involved or not.
I agree.
Quote:
I feel it is easier to speak with your mouth (unless you are mute) and hear with your ears (unless you are deaf) than it is to rely on a piece of machinery to relay emotion, feelings, or even simply messages.
The key words here are I feel.
I find it much easier to speak through text. I can backspace, edit, and be clear and accurate in my responses. In person, I'm loud and everything, but I conceal a lot of things that I'm more open with online.
I find it much easier to speak through text. I can backspace, edit, and be clear and accurate in my responses. In person, I'm loud and everything, but I conceal a lot of things that I'm more open with online.
Quote:
You may have a reliable phone that has max batteries always and doesn't overheat or a computer with a microphone or webcamera, but no matter how you look at it, it's just a machine that can't be as efficient as you in any way shape or form...except at adding subtracting, (maybe multiplying) etc.
How is it not efficient? It keeps two lovers, friends, or relatives in contact when they don't have the money or the time to be together in person because of daily life. It keeps businesses together, it provides entertainment, communication, and information for people.
It's a very efficient machine, and emotions can be transmitted through it. And if it couldn't, Kukushka wouldn't be married to her current spouse.
It's a very efficient machine, and emotions can be transmitted through it. And if it couldn't, Kukushka wouldn't be married to her current spouse.
Quote:
When I say touch I do not mean actual touch. The idea that a relationship could ever be built on looks, touching, or emotion alone is laughable.
It takes effort, too.
Quote:
However it's also insulting to be told a machine can better convey how I feel about someone I love than actually being there to say it.
Love can be conveyed through any medium effectively and powerfully, depending on the people involved. Believe me; I'm in an online relationship right now and can testify to this.
Quote:
3.You may be in a safe relationship where your trust is mutual however I must go back to the part where the majority of people will lie or be lied to in my belief.
Just because that is your belief, that does not make it fact. I don't lie. My boyfriend doesn't lie. Kukushka and her spouse (obviously) did not lie to one another, and if they did, they would not be ... well ... spouses.
Quote:
I'm not saying everyone will lie or be tempted to due to distance and i'm not saying it is easier to lie (whether I previously stated or not),
You're right. Not everyone will be tempted to lie. I'm willing to bet that a good portion of people (online or off) are good ones who don't resume to that.
Quote:
but I believe that it is easier for most people to lie through a wire than it is for them to lie face to face.
You just openly contradicted yourself twice.
You said that people will be tempted to lie. Then you said they won't. And now you just said they will be. Make up yo' mind.
You said that people will be tempted to lie. Then you said they won't. And now you just said they will be. Make up yo' mind.
Quote:
Of course, if someone is ready to lie then the relationship is already over so i guess it doesn't matter...
A-freaking-men to that.
Quote:
4.I know not 'your' specific feelings and again, it's nice to see that you have a unique relationship, but most people don't have one or any.
"Most"?
Quote:
Most people may mistake their emotions for love and thus make the word more watered down than is already is.
Some do, but ... "Most"?
Quote:
When your spouse says "I love you" to you it may mean the world or more, but to someone else it might mean nothing. absolutely nothing.
Just like, when someone hugs you, it may mean the world, but to someone else, that hug may mean a little more than peanut butter, when they're allergic to peanuts.
Quote:
Your thoughts are not delusional, nor stupid or ignorant. You're right that some people will experience true love at even a distance, but most will not.
I'm willing to guess that most people won't experience true love until they're mature enough to comprehend what it means to love someone unconditionally and openly.
Quote:
Or will love, but the I love you they send may not be returned as adequetely.
But this happens all the time in school; someone gets asked out, they turn 'em down, and they all get over it in a week.
Quote:
5.Again, in no way shape or form are either of our personal experiences more than slightly relevant here. Most people will not be able to handle telling the truth over a device or even in person,
"Most"?
Quote:
however more people will feel more safe and trusting in a relationship closer to home than they will at a distance due to the fact they can check in whenever.
Assuming that they attend the same school, work at the same place, and come home at the same time.
There is always--always--the chance of being cheated on by your significant other, regardless of the distance between the lovers. A cheater is a cheater, and does not switch on and off in the presence of a computer. Notice, how there are marriages in which one spouse or both is creeping around other people's homes behind the other's back, and no one says or finds out about anything until months or years after the fact.
There is always--always--the chance of being cheated on by your significant other, regardless of the distance between the lovers. A cheater is a cheater, and does not switch on and off in the presence of a computer. Notice, how there are marriages in which one spouse or both is creeping around other people's homes behind the other's back, and no one says or finds out about anything until months or years after the fact.
Quote:
Not everyone can or will be willing to trust in my belief and those few that can are truly gifted.
Why thank you. :3
Quote:
If I were to relate my personal experience to this, I would state the I always trusted my significant other, and in the end I paid for it with a little heartbreak, which yes I did get over.
I can relate, and I'm sorry. No one deserves to be betrayed like that, on or offline.
Quote:
You don't just trust them not to do something or to do something, but to always do and never do. You trust them with your heart and soul and if you don't, then again, the relationship will probably fail, but it will also fail if those you trust, can't be trusted.
Absolutely. I love the bolded line.
Quote:
Sometimes a distance makes trust harder to place in someone, or harder to keep a promise.
Depending on the people involved and the overall situation.
Quote:
Lastly, Yes of course you came off as a hardass, but I prefer someone who's intelligent over an idiot and you prove to be intelligent so you being a hardass doesn't matter especially if you feel strongly about your opinion.
Lol, Kukushka's a very strong wittle Wussian. *pinches Kukushka's cheeks* x3
Quote:
I hope you understand that you may not recommend anything, but I do recommend not getting in a distance relationship because, yes heartache builds character, but it also makes someone cry when it doesn't have to.
Couldn't the same be said for offline relationships?
Besides, the distance doesn't make me cry like it used to. I got over it. Pssh. Big deal. I'd rather wait for many new faces of the moon to shine in the sky than to wait for nothing and be unhappy.
Besides, the distance doesn't make me cry like it used to. I got over it. Pssh. Big deal. I'd rather wait for many new faces of the moon to shine in the sky than to wait for nothing and be unhappy.
Quote:
a few people who end up failing in a distance relationship will probably do well in a closer based one to which they could have started on earlier instead of taking someone else's
Which is funny, because I never hear anyone ever say, "Because you failed in an offline relationship, you should be in an online one."
But with that logic, we shouldn't ever get into a relationship, because with each passing day, you're passing up the chance to meet someone new and better.
But with that logic, we shouldn't ever get into a relationship, because with each passing day, you're passing up the chance to meet someone new and better.
Quote:
(you abstained from recommending) advice on dating at a distance without being properly advised or warned.
Warned about what?
Quote:
Sure I think most people are idiots, but i just hate to see them cry.
I do too, babe. But people will cry. Distance in online relationships isn't the only aspect in the relationship side of life that brings tears to one's eyes.
.::[/Ebony]::.


Lillith-of-the-Rose
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 22:42:09 +0000
Sexy Frozen
1. I suppose I should add a small disclaimer that says something along the lines of "IMO" after every sentence. No offense, but everything stated as a feeling or emotion here is my belief.
We realize its your opinion. And we respect that. But this is the ED and opinions need to be backed up.
Quote:
Basically what I say is that most relationships have the whole touchy feely thing and need to be close. Just because your relationship in particular may be safe at a distance, not everyone else's is like that.
We never said that. We realize that. No relationship is the same. Some will find someone offline, some will find someone online. Some will find someone younger. some will find someone older.
Quote:
In fact yours is a unique and rare one that you must understand a very large portion of the population will not experience in their life time due to the fact they are not are trusting or caring as you or your spouse.
I suppouse that can be true. But I also know, as I see our guild growing an growing, that there are more people who find the love of their lives online, wheter they went looking or just happened to fall in love, than we - even I who am an online dater myself - realize.
Quote:
I do not believe a relationship will only work period. That goes to say that I don't mean to say there is any specific way that a relationship will or won't work since there are an infinite number of factors to put in play,
Agreed. It depends on the people. What level of trust. What level of patience. Love. If their willing ot make it work no matter how hard it is, etc etc.
Quote:
however, I do say that I believe that majority of relationships won't work because of x and y and z and whatever factor I place down not due to the fact my own relationship did not work, but because of my friends who also have had varying experiences.
One experience=/=every experience. Okay, so you had a not so great experience. Your friends had "varying experienes" which I dunno. Good or bad?
But either way. I had a b ad online relationship, so I know they don't all work, but the one I'm in now is the best relationship I've ever been in. Chris is loving, caring, humerous, the list could go on and on. Kuku's also married to the man she met online, and Lich is set to get married in July. It depends on the people.
.
Quote:
Sure I enjoyed talking to my significant other and if you don't then you shouldn't really be in a relationship whether distance is involved or not.
agreed
Quote:
I feel it is easier to speak with your mouth (unless you are mute) and hear with your ears (unless you are deaf) than it is to rely on a piece of machinery to relay emotion, feelings, or even simply messages. You may have a reliable phone that has max batteries always and doesn't overheat or a computer with a microphone or webcamera, but no matter how you look at it, it's just a machine that can't be as efficient as you in any way shape or form...except at adding subtracting, (maybe multiplying) etc.
And some of use these "machines" to be close to the person we love. Whats so wrong with that? The emotions aren't any less real.
Quote:
When I say touch I do not mean actual touch. The idea that a relationship could ever be built on looks, touching, or emotion alone is laughable. However it's also insulting to be told a machine can better convey how I feel about someone I love than actually being there to say it.
The machie doesn't convey it. Its just the way of communication. There's a real person with real emotions sitting behind that computer, or speaking into the receiver of the phone. It doesn't convey it any less than speaking face to face does.
Quote:
You may be in a safe relationship where your trust is mutual however I must go back to the part where the majority of people will lie or be lied to in my belief.
Your belief. Prove that this is the majority.
Quote:
.I know not 'your' specific feelings and again, it's nice to see that you have a unique relationship, but most people don't have one or any.
In my eyes, every relationshiop is unique.
Quote:
Your thoughts are not delusional, nor stupid or ignorant. You're right that some people will experience true love at even a distance, but most will not.
Prove it.
Quote:
Or will love, but the I love you they send may not be returned as adequetely.
Part of loving someone is taking risks.
Quote:
5.Again, in no way shape or form are either of our personal experiences more than slightly relevant here.
Actually, they are. Why?
Example: Someone comes in saying online relationships never work. We give our relationships as proof, that yes, some work.
Quote:
Most people will not be able to handle telling the truth over a device or even in person, however more people will feel more safe and trusting in a relationship closer to home than they will at a distance due to the fact they can check in whenever.
1. Prove this
2. You shouldn't have to check in one someone when you feel insecure. Thats not trust.
Quote:
Lastly, Yes of course you came off as a hardass, but I prefer someone who's intelligent over an idiot and you prove to be intelligent so you being a hardass doesn't matter especially if you feel strongly about your opinion.
Stick around for awhile. Kuku is a wonderful debater, passionate about her opinion (like the rest of us), and certainly is intelligent.
Quote:
I hope you understand that you may not recommend anything, but I do recommend not getting in a distance relationship because, yes heartache builds character, but it also makes someone cry when it doesn't have to. a few people who end up failing in a distance relationship will probably do well in a closer based one to which they could have started on earlier instead of taking someone else's (you abstained from recommending) advice on dating at a distance without being properly advised or warned.
and what? You can't get your heartbroken offline? Bull.
Jamais Vu Experience
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 22:42:55 +0000
ZiCat
OKAY PEOPLE GET IT STRAIGHT!
Online dating is probably just as unsafe as Offline, but think if your online and this guy/girl you're talking to is trying cyber with you, you can IGNORE THEM.
And don't FREAK! They are not going to pop out of the monitor and rape you! Unless you were so much on a idiot to give your address or phone number!
People lie no matter what!!! Online or Off! So I don't know what your point is about 40+ year old people trying to cyber! And any way there's probably guys/women like that in YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!! It's like saying NO to Drugs, say NO to Sex!!! Also people online want easy prey, so don't be an idiot!
Your life is in your own hands, and you have your own opinions, I know. But just use some COMMON SENSE!
For some reason most people don't have that! Here's my impression on an idiot-
Idiot: Hey look I got an invite *click* Whoa... there's alot of people Dur-her-her
Peditor: Hey there... you want to talk in private?
Idiot: Sure!
*another chat room*
Peditor: What's your name?
Idiot: Billy Every-teen
P: Hey... so where do you live?
Idiot/Billy: 123 Fakestreet
P: Cool, can I come over?
I/B: I guess...?
P: *leaves for Billy's house and RAPES BILLY*
Online dating is probably just as unsafe as Offline, but think if your online and this guy/girl you're talking to is trying cyber with you, you can IGNORE THEM.
And don't FREAK! They are not going to pop out of the monitor and rape you! Unless you were so much on a idiot to give your address or phone number!
People lie no matter what!!! Online or Off! So I don't know what your point is about 40+ year old people trying to cyber! And any way there's probably guys/women like that in YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!! It's like saying NO to Drugs, say NO to Sex!!! Also people online want easy prey, so don't be an idiot!
Your life is in your own hands, and you have your own opinions, I know. But just use some COMMON SENSE!
For some reason most people don't have that! Here's my impression on an idiot-
Idiot: Hey look I got an invite *click* Whoa... there's alot of people Dur-her-her
Peditor: Hey there... you want to talk in private?
Idiot: Sure!
*another chat room*
Peditor: What's your name?
Idiot: Billy Every-teen
P: Hey... so where do you live?
Idiot/Billy: 123 Fakestreet
P: Cool, can I come over?
I/B: I guess...?
P: *leaves for Billy's house and RAPES BILLY*
CAN'T PEOPLE READ!?
OPINIONS, OPINIONS, OPINIONS!
Okay cool I love hearing opinions BUT IT'S BETTER TO HAVE SOMETHING TO BACK YOU UP!
THIS IS A DEBATE! I DON'T REALLY WANT TO HEAR STORIES! BUT OPINION WITH FACTS IS GREAT!
IT EVEN SAYS ON THE FIRST POST TO TALK ABOUT STORIES SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!!!
Ebania
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 23:24:34 +0000


.::Ebonysays::.
lil_lostii
noo wayyyy . dont date on net its bad .. you dont know the person well
Why would it be bad?
And please explain how you would not know someone well on the 'net. I know my boyfriend perfectly fine, and we met on the 'net.
And please explain how you would not know someone well on the 'net. I know my boyfriend perfectly fine, and we met on the 'net.
.::[/Ebony]::.


Phillip Light
(?)Community Member
Offline
- Report Post
- Posted: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 23:28:41 +0000
lil_lostii
noo wayyyy . dont date on net its bad .. you dont know the person well
Kei Jin
(?)Community Member
- Report Post
- Posted: Wed, 18 Apr 2007 01:33:37 +0000
Marishka
internet dating is stupid
What I find stupid is baseless biases against another person's relationship.
Marishka
and unsafe
Offline dating is far more dangerous since you are three times more likely to be raped by a family member, friend, neighbor or significant other.
Marishka
and anybody can lie about anything.
And lying doesn't happen offline?
Marishka
u could be thinking that ure going out with this really hot guy (or girl) and really it's someone fat and ugly who is over 40 and seeing if he can actually make a connection with u that ends up with u being humiliated and him getting off on internet sex.
Great Spirit, give me strength! Not ANOTHER one of the '40 year old pervert' comments!
There are ways to prevent this. First, talk, a lot. Communication opens a great many doors of insight into the other person. Second, photos. I don't mean a single picture, I mean many. A lot of couples share a plethora of pictures with each other. If you ask for something specific, its going to be damned near impossible for the person to find THAT particular picture online. Also, webcams are great, as are phones.
I know what my fiance looks like, and he is far from a 'fat, ugly 40 year old pervert'.
Sexy Frozen
(?)Community Member
Offline
- Report Post
- Posted: Wed, 18 Apr 2007 01:42:12 +0000
o.O, ok, again sorry I can't respond by qouting...i'll start off with what ebony said the second time... I don't think the first post properly conveyed my thoughts.
(let me address this most issue so that whenever I say it it's clear what I mean) Most as in the majority of people i've spoken to about long distance relationships who I trusted myself. Not all their relationships failed, but where they didn't fail, most of the people still stated they'd prefer to be closer. Some of them moved in with their loved one because the distance was too great even though they were only a state over or such. I suppose that's speaking from personal experience and doesn't constitute fact, however I only see a few facts from the other side as well so i'll stick to opinion and belief.
1.I thought I was.
2. My relationship was without physical contact for 2 years. I was willing to make it work, yet it did not. not my fault, not your fault.
3.If you're afraid of what people think then I say don't even try, but if you're ready to take the dive then I will warn away from it, but depending on how devoted someone is I might change my mind, however most recently when asked for advice on it, the unspecified person was nervous about the whole issue and I told them to stay away from it. They didn't and I suppose it was a year later they had their heart broken. I guess if someone feels strongly about it, it's ok, but when they're unsure, I would definitely ward away.
4.You speak the truth. Surely someone's experiences are not another's, but that person's experiences should still be valued because they did happen, not because it might not happen.
5. It does, but it doesn't have to. I can't take offense to that line because I haven't transitioned to offline dating yet.
6. -
7. This is something I will argue with you till I die about. There's absolutely no way a machine can ever feel love and so I can't and will never believe that it can convey it if it cannot feel it. I suppose I can understand the phone, but when you say backspace and all, I don't like that. The idea of editing a thought is a bit disturbing to me and the computers ability to do so makes me a bit angry. Don't get me wrong, some people can still feel emotion from text, but that text is like what 100101whatever I cant speak binary. To a computer that's all it is and so it transfers it as such. Lets just say i hate science.
Ok off topic sorry.
8.I would hope you don't mix business and love. I didn't mean to say it was inefficient. I meant to say it was not efficient at expressing love even if it could do numbers.
9.Never said it didn't. (if I did I didn't mean to.)
10. You're speaking with personal experience, as am I, and I must say that our beliefs clash here. You may feel it through the machine when someone says they love you and although I did feel it to, I felt it better up close and in person.
11. that's four examples, but you are not exempt from the 'I did not lie' thing until you are dead. As well just because your experiences were 'good' doesn't make them valid for all.
12.-
13. Take another look. I did no such thing. My belief is the majority of people will or will lie. I merely stated that I could be wrong in the second section and that I very well understood it.
14. ^_^
15. -discussed above
16. -discussed above- based on personal experience, I dislike hearing the word I love you come from someone you know is lying to their partner in which case it's watered down, basically meaningless. Also for those that believe their in love and find out later it's just infatuation also cause the word to become...watered down.
17. -
18. You can't tell me that a large number of people experience true love during any time from birth to death and no matter how many people you show me I will not believe you unless you show me a many couples who have lived and died together for quite a period of time without something going on in the backround. This is the primary reason I do not condone distance relationship, because the hard evidence is minimal while I have enough evidence that going out and finding someone closer to home works. You have parents...someone give me an example where their parents met online and were together for a very long time...My parent have the whole 25 years marriage thing, but they didn't meet at the distance and that's a big reassurance that distance relationships are either uneeded or uneccassary. Just saying this means little to you, but this is a discussion and the only proof I can provide is my parents and a few friends with bad taste for distance relationships as well as my own, my sister's and my brother's. I don't require you to post certificates or anything of the such, that's just stupid. I'll take your word for it...if you say it.
19. The computer doesn't yell "I LOVE YOU" at the top of it's lungs and doesn't add accents to a poem where they belong now does it? It can add accents, but chances are they would need to be explained unlike if it were spoken or shown. Actions speak louder than words.
20. - discussed above.
21. - discussed above.
22. your welcome ^^.
23. Agreed. Some people just suck.
24. I guess it's a good line...I don't like looking at what I said, I always feel like an idiot.
25. agreed
26. Kukushka seems nice as far as I can tell...though I would hate my cheeks getting pinched. X3
27.Yes, I guess there's no different in 'heartbreak' due to distance since it is a feeling that you get from losing someone you love or finding out that they don't love you.
28. please combine those two seperated sentences, they were meant to go together. Yeah, i've never heard it either, but I'm not saying you shouldn't continue to date, im just suggesting that yeah, you should go from offline to online. I'd more consider offline dating to be batting practice since most of it occurs at younger less mature ages anyway. Of course both distance and close range relationships should be treated with equal care.
29. ^
30. But the distance does cause tears when it doesn't need to.
almost lost everything I wrote because it took so long for me to write it that I logged out. @_@
(let me address this most issue so that whenever I say it it's clear what I mean) Most as in the majority of people i've spoken to about long distance relationships who I trusted myself. Not all their relationships failed, but where they didn't fail, most of the people still stated they'd prefer to be closer. Some of them moved in with their loved one because the distance was too great even though they were only a state over or such. I suppose that's speaking from personal experience and doesn't constitute fact, however I only see a few facts from the other side as well so i'll stick to opinion and belief.
1.I thought I was.
2. My relationship was without physical contact for 2 years. I was willing to make it work, yet it did not. not my fault, not your fault.
3.If you're afraid of what people think then I say don't even try, but if you're ready to take the dive then I will warn away from it, but depending on how devoted someone is I might change my mind, however most recently when asked for advice on it, the unspecified person was nervous about the whole issue and I told them to stay away from it. They didn't and I suppose it was a year later they had their heart broken. I guess if someone feels strongly about it, it's ok, but when they're unsure, I would definitely ward away.
4.You speak the truth. Surely someone's experiences are not another's, but that person's experiences should still be valued because they did happen, not because it might not happen.
5. It does, but it doesn't have to. I can't take offense to that line because I haven't transitioned to offline dating yet.
6. -
7. This is something I will argue with you till I die about. There's absolutely no way a machine can ever feel love and so I can't and will never believe that it can convey it if it cannot feel it. I suppose I can understand the phone, but when you say backspace and all, I don't like that. The idea of editing a thought is a bit disturbing to me and the computers ability to do so makes me a bit angry. Don't get me wrong, some people can still feel emotion from text, but that text is like what 100101whatever I cant speak binary. To a computer that's all it is and so it transfers it as such. Lets just say i hate science.
Ok off topic sorry.
8.I would hope you don't mix business and love. I didn't mean to say it was inefficient. I meant to say it was not efficient at expressing love even if it could do numbers.
9.Never said it didn't. (if I did I didn't mean to.)
10. You're speaking with personal experience, as am I, and I must say that our beliefs clash here. You may feel it through the machine when someone says they love you and although I did feel it to, I felt it better up close and in person.
11. that's four examples, but you are not exempt from the 'I did not lie' thing until you are dead. As well just because your experiences were 'good' doesn't make them valid for all.
12.-
13. Take another look. I did no such thing. My belief is the majority of people will or will lie. I merely stated that I could be wrong in the second section and that I very well understood it.
14. ^_^
15. -discussed above
16. -discussed above- based on personal experience, I dislike hearing the word I love you come from someone you know is lying to their partner in which case it's watered down, basically meaningless. Also for those that believe their in love and find out later it's just infatuation also cause the word to become...watered down.
17. -
18. You can't tell me that a large number of people experience true love during any time from birth to death and no matter how many people you show me I will not believe you unless you show me a many couples who have lived and died together for quite a period of time without something going on in the backround. This is the primary reason I do not condone distance relationship, because the hard evidence is minimal while I have enough evidence that going out and finding someone closer to home works. You have parents...someone give me an example where their parents met online and were together for a very long time...My parent have the whole 25 years marriage thing, but they didn't meet at the distance and that's a big reassurance that distance relationships are either uneeded or uneccassary. Just saying this means little to you, but this is a discussion and the only proof I can provide is my parents and a few friends with bad taste for distance relationships as well as my own, my sister's and my brother's. I don't require you to post certificates or anything of the such, that's just stupid. I'll take your word for it...if you say it.
19. The computer doesn't yell "I LOVE YOU" at the top of it's lungs and doesn't add accents to a poem where they belong now does it? It can add accents, but chances are they would need to be explained unlike if it were spoken or shown. Actions speak louder than words.
20. - discussed above.
21. - discussed above.
22. your welcome ^^.
23. Agreed. Some people just suck.
24. I guess it's a good line...I don't like looking at what I said, I always feel like an idiot.
25. agreed
26. Kukushka seems nice as far as I can tell...though I would hate my cheeks getting pinched. X3
27.Yes, I guess there's no different in 'heartbreak' due to distance since it is a feeling that you get from losing someone you love or finding out that they don't love you.
28. please combine those two seperated sentences, they were meant to go together. Yeah, i've never heard it either, but I'm not saying you shouldn't continue to date, im just suggesting that yeah, you should go from offline to online. I'd more consider offline dating to be batting practice since most of it occurs at younger less mature ages anyway. Of course both distance and close range relationships should be treated with equal care.
29. ^
30. But the distance does cause tears when it doesn't need to.
almost lost everything I wrote because it took so long for me to write it that I logged out. @_@