A new store named Husband-Mart opened. Husband-Mart is a store where
> >women can go and choose a husband from among many men. The store is
> >composed of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as
> >the shopper ascends the flight of stairs. There is, however, a catch. AS
> >you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but
> >if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the
building.
> >
> >So, this woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the
> >first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
> >The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that is better than
> >my last boyfriend, but I wonder what is further up?" So up she goes.
> >
> >The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love
> >kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's
> >further up?" And up she goes.
> >
> >The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and
> >are extremely good looking. "Hmm, better," she says. "But I wonder
> >what's upstairs?" Up she goes.
> >
> >The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids,
> >are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!", exclaims
> >the woman, "very tempting. But, there must be more further up!" And
> >again she heads up another flight.
> >
> >The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids,
> >are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong
> >romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting
> >for me on the sixth floor?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.
> >
> >The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor #1,260,459,789,015
> >to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely
> >as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at
> >Husband-Mart and have a nice day!
Oo I think she wanted too much!
PROOF THAT THE WORLD IS NUTS!
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual
relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex
organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or
piece of wood at all times.
(A brick??)
*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!" wink
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to
travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who
pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first
time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly
forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with
her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other
hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they
had to pass this law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may
be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as
Guam!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have
sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
times its own weight and always falls over on its
right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...? -- did the
govt. pay for this research??)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that too)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And, the best for last..... Turtles can breathe
through their butts.
(Do you think they have bad breath?)
Yes I do......
.Subject: Continuing Education Classes -- for Men
> CLASSES FOR MEN AT YOUR LOCAL ADULT LEARNING CENTER
>
> Note: Due to the complexity & difficulty level, each course will
> accept a
> maximum of 8 participants.
>
> Topic 1 - How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Tray. - Step By Step, With
> Slide
> Presentation.
>
> Topic 2 - Toilet Paper: Does It Grow On The Holder? - Round Table
> Discussion.
>
> Topic 3 - Is It Possible To Urinate By Lifting The Seat And Avoid
> Splashing
> The Floor/Walls And Nearby Bathtub? - Group Practice.
>
> Topic 4 - Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper And
> the Floor.
> - Pictures And Explanatory Graphics.
>
> Topic 5 - Dishes And Silverware: Can They Levitate And Fly Into the
> Sink? -
> Examples On Video.
>
> Topic 6 - Identity Crisis: Losing The Remote To Your Significant
> Other. -
> Helpline Support And Support Groups.
>
> Topic 7 - Learning How To Find Things, Looking In The Right Place
> Instead Of
> Turning The House Upside Down While SCREAMING
>
> Topic 8 - Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To your
> Health.
> - Graphics And Audio Tape.
>
> Topic 9 - Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost. - Real Life
> Testimonials.
> (may be deleted due to unavailability of any men able to give
> testimonials)
>
> Topic 10 - Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly As She
> Parallel
> Parks. - Driving Simulation.
>
> Topic 11 - Learning About Life: Basic Differences Between Mother
> and Wife. -
> Online Class And Role Playing.
>
> Topic 12 - How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion. - Exercises,
> Meditation
> And Breathing Techniques.
>
> Topic 13 - How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays,
> Anniversaries, Other Important Dates And Calling When You're Going
> To Be
> Late. - Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions And Full Lobotomies Offer
>
seems to me that they should be working on the root cause to all these problems...
