Psychic, I agree 100% in principle. However, my reality is a bit different and this is my choice or dialup. Where I live, the only cable companies are Comcrap (the devil) and WOW (shittiest service bar none). VZW Home Fusion might be a possibility, but it involves mounting an outdoor antenna, which I don't know how to do. DSL has never been available in my neighborhood and Google Fiber is a distant dream. Dialup is out of the question, so it's this or nothing.
At any rate, a little chat with my mobile broadband reseller seems to have remedied the situation (at least for now). I'll have to see what happens when I reach the 5 GB threshold again, as they were kind enough to reset my usage to 0 GB.