creation myths, a tablet of commandments, and also dogs
Okay, I didn't mean it, you can stay. Have a seat. I know it's not too comfortable, I need new chairs. But uh, I wanted you to know, I've got these pets. I've got these pets that I want out of here.
Right so that's what I've got goin' on, do you want one? Do you think you would like one? 'Cause if you do I have some rules I'm going to need you to follow. Look at those rules.
I.
This shop does not follow the laws of supply and demand. The Dickens is my personal little hobby shop, really, and if I decide I don't feel like coloring up any new pets, then that's really it. But I do respect your rights as a pet owner, and I will make sure they grow through their natural lifespans 60% of the time, every time.
II.
Who's in control? I'm in control. (me. Bombazine.)
III.
Don't be cockholes to each other, I am so very nice and you had better be nice as well. Swear as much as you like, though, cussin' is the s**t. As they say. But, uh, seriously, I am not even a teenager anymore and I can't abide self-important drama. I might totally dress you down and mom-guilt you, I dunno. It's hard times.
So right, that's the business you pretty basically gotta know. Now I am going to tell you a little story - a story about...love.
No no, that's not right, it's a story about some dickens and things. Here, look, here it is.
(HERE IT IS)
And do you know what they look like? This is what they look like.
As a species, they are pretty okay. They like to do high-fives and get pretty busy, and they will pretty much always help a brother out. Their small-version (baby, child?) stage lasts like about a week or two, like sometimes you just have late bloomers and it's tough but it all ends well.
For some reason there is also a chubby version of dickens.
These persons have got a bit of a serious weight problem, but it doesn't stop them from makin' it with Original Recipe up there.
Bombazine rolled 4 10-sided dice:
3, 3, 5, 9
Total: 20 (4-40)
