✭ Nightmare Academy ✭ - OLD THREAD do not post anymore

[Cerl Temius]

jinxgirl5

Older XD Just turned 26 today. A little tired, not much inclined to leave my room.

You and I are the same age! Congratulations~ I hope you had a good celebration. heart

[nepsah]

It's come to my attention...

That there have been concerns brought to me over my streaming rule concerning my pronouns. In case anyone hasn't seen it, this is the rule in question:

"If you misgender me you will be permanently banned from my streams. As a reminder, I use he/him/his pronouns. [screamingshark/Yushika may use they/them but only screamingshark/Yushika.]"

I wanted to take a moment to talk about this rule and why it matters so much to me. I also want to stress that I should not have to divulge this much personal information.

I am a transgender person. I do not identify with the gender or sex that I was assigned at birth. This causes me a lot of distress on a daily basis. In face-to-face life, I am rarely read as the gender that I would like to be seen as - I am ma'am'd, miss'd, referred to as "she" and a "girl" pretty much every day. This is not who I am. This is extremely upsetting, because it's a reminder that the rest of the world literally does not see me as who I am - but as who they think I am, and it's a reminder that I will probably never be seen the way that I want to be seen.

This is why it matters so much to me that I am referred to correctly. Every "she" is a reminder that I am, physically, not who I know myself to be. It's a reminder that I may never be who I know myself to be. My dysphoria primarily social - I can cope with the way that my body is as long as I am referred to correctly. I want to make a note, these are not my preferred pronouns, these are my correct pronouns. There is a vast difference.

I am a forgiving person. One or two slip-ups is something that I can overlook and manage to get over. Repeated misgendering however, is not. This is why I will ban people indefinitely from my streams. I have had dysphoric attacks because of misgendering I have encountered here. Again, I should not have to divulge this information but because there are some concerns that I am overreacting or being too harsh, I am willing to share with you exactly what it does to me.

I love NMA, this place makes me extremely happy. I love talking with everyone, and sharing streams, and seeing what everyone is up to. But I also must take into consideration my own health and well-being.

I will change the phrasing in the above rule to say "indefinitely banned," because there is a chance that I will change my mind and allow people to return, depending on the manner in which they misgendered me.

I would also like to note that these streams are entirely optional. You do not have to attend if you do not like my rules. There are many other colorists that you may join for streams. These streams are hosted at our discretion and they are our safe spaces - we are free to make our own rules for our own streams.

One last note, on the concerns over "they/them" as acceptable pronouns...

They/them as pronouns are a wonderful way to refer to people whose gender you do not know! I fully encourage people to use them - I do it myself for everyone whose pronouns I do not know. However, if a person states "my pronouns are _____" you should be using those pronouns. They/them is seen as gender neutral, or void of gender in general. I have a gender. It's transmasculine. They/them is a form of taking my gender away once you've learned what my pronouns are. That is why I am uncomfortable with it and only allow Yushika, or my girlfriend, screamingshark, to use those pronouns - because I know 100% without a doubt that it's not coming from a place of de-gendering.

Thank you for reading and being understanding. If you have any concerns, please speak to me about it. I am okay with talking in-depth about this on a one-on-one basis.

[Midnightglow18]

Hugs

Any chance you'd make the font in your siggy a size or two bigger so it's easier to spot??

[nepsah]

Rolling for Kid #2

1. Lavender Hues
   
2. Yushika
   
3. Midnightglow18
   
4. Leopleuradon
   
5. Tangled Puppet
   
6. -Mayuri Yukimura-
   
7. jinxgirl5
   
8. Cinnamon Panda
   
9. C-c-Caffeine
   
10. Koiasi
    
11. The Only Black Uke
    
12. One Little Jay
    
13. Nasaiki
    
14. Roserain
    
15. musicaloner7
    
    
    

[Midnightglow18]

Congrats ^_^

[nepsah]

i have changed the font to 14pt in my signature.

[Rainbow Lime]

Aww Owl, I'm so sorry you've been forced to spell it out for a few select people. I've been friends with people who don't identify as their own 'socially accepted gender' for several years and have seen first hand the kind of distress the continued use of incorrect pronouns can cause to a person. Gaia is meant to be a safe place to get away from all that, heck the avatars are just online pixels which can change at the press of a button - nobody should be bringing that kind of grief in here.

*sends love*

[Midnightglow18]

Thank you ^_^ Hugs

I hope people learn >.<

[Koiasi]

Congrats~!

[gracie loff]

-gives BIG hugs to Nep-

Grats to the franken winners!

[NMA Drop-Off]

Drop-Off Incoming!!

Tangled Puppet

Leopleuradon

[Aria Starstone]

-Snugs Nepsah RE gender issues- I'm sorry to hear that there is such a lack of respect for your gender identity. sad

[Cerl Temius]

This is my first time joining a Stream. I feel like I'm in an Auction House! It's so lively!

[musicaloner7]

whaa congrats Leo. + +

[Lavender Hues]

-Wraps Nep in a blanket burrito of love- ; u;