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Okay, I understand that Scissors can beat Paper,
and I get how Rock beats Scissors,
but there's no way that Paper can beat Rock.
Paper is supposed to magically “wrap around” Rock leaving it immobile?
Then, why the hell can’t Paper do this to Scissors?
In fact, screw Scissors!
Why can't Paper do this to people?
Why aren't sheets in college-ruled notebook Paper instantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why!
It's because Paper can't beat anybody!
A Rock would tear that s**t up in about two seconds!
When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose Rock.
Then, when someone claims they've beaten me with their Paper,
I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say something like,
"Oh s**t, I'm sorry, I thought Paper would protect you."
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