Come and hear the tale of wonders from the one who dances upon his stump. A jester, an executioner, a monster, a beautiful dame? who knows what this is. But so long the tales are enchanting and captivating, a life or two won't matter. Now aren't you all in for a treat for today. I've told tales of great adventure, tales of woe, and tales of suspense, but now i have a tale of the self.
In the land of the Morrow-days i was but a fish monger. I by chance awoke in the stand due to a freak accident. The nice shop keep understood my confusion and thus let me stay so long as i sold and i will go off and tweak my horn cause i will say i was an excellent salesman! Ah but on one fine day the shrieks of women could be heard from afar, and as the shrieks and gasps grew closer i too was interested. I peered outside of my stall to discover the strangest sight, A gal with no pants! Now most people were going about thinking, how indecent, but i just laughed and asked for her reasoning and but a simple answer: "Pants? psh, pants are overrated". That my friends is how i met the second in command of my ship. We sailed about everywhere conquering many lands and having great laughs, but there came a time when we all went our seperate ways. I owe much to this lass for her lack of pants has saved us many times. From what i hear she travels the silk road now, known as the pantless-bandit. For the sake of ironic pleasure she goes off stealing the finest of garments, but never does wear them. Some people just like to watch the world go nude.