My god, why am I writing this? No one cares, and nor do I.
Regardless, here we go.
I guess it's, wow, wait is it? Six years since I joined this place with my first account, which my sister suggested I named Nightmare Elf. I changed it quickly to something more fitting. I was so innocent back then, ah what happened to that little ******** idiot :')
Look at me now, I'm 16, and never felt better, even if I am ******** miserable with illness writing this ahaha... I hated my childhood, who didn't? I was bullied and picked on, didn't get a friend before 3rd grade.
I met a girl and she became my best friend same day. Even girlfriend eventually but that didn't last long.
(For those who don't know, I'm bi. I struggled with this for so long, now I'll happily scream it from a top of a building because I finally have come to peace with it.) And you know what? If you go all hating on me because I just said I was bisexual, then ******** you, I ain't having this. I've come to peace with who I am, and I ain't gonna change for ANYONE.
Anywho, I grew up hating my childhood because even with my best friend, my only friend, I was picked on and bullied. I moved away from my home and my friend, to be isolated as a loner for a year after 7 years of school where I lived.
Are you still following? Why? This is all pointless. If you think this is a suicide note, think again. I'm just venting ahahah...
I moved away, my entire image was erased. The me I knew was gone. I could start over. Nadia didn't exist, and Renée did. I switched from using my first name to my middle name and changed what I wore, how I talked, and who I talked to.
I hated this phase, it wasn't me, but it was. I didn't want to be that freak, which I eventually just came to peace with realising I was regardless so that failed. I haven't changed back, because I am happy now.
I spent a year alone, figuring everything out, when I returned, I got a friend, who later I found out had a crush on me, and all that is a sad story because it ended up being a damn love triangle ish thing at a point.
I guess I had it coming. He is one of my best friends, alongside a guy from Albania who supported me for three solid years now, we talk daily and always have since we met. If I lose him, I lose myself. He's my other half, as I consider it. And that is where it'll get more complicated.
I have in all five best friends, two of these are the guys I mentioned, third is a girl who is basically my twin, but a year younger, then you have my mother, as she has been more like a friend than a mother to me all these years, and you have my boyfriend. All of them have been fatal to creating the person I am today. I would be dead without them.
Anyway, starting 9th grade I finally got to know this friend of mine, which we'll call Wolf for now. He introduced me to my current boyfriend, whom we'll call Kon. They both had a crush on me and I felt so bad because without Wolf I wouldn't have properly met Kon. Anyway, it got resolved and it's all good.
At this point I struggled with depression and anxiety, still do, but you know what? I won't let it affect me anymore. Because I've grown enough that I can love life as it is, knowing it has upsides and downsides, but still enjoy it. That's probably the point even of this story.
I love how my life turned out to be, and I know that most of this seem like bullshit, but for me, every event I hated, dreaded, even liked, has been a factor for who I am today.
I'm lucky to still be alive to see this, I'm lucky I met my friends, I'm lucky I'm me.
That's basically it.
Thanks if you even stayed through this, hopefully it was a tad inspiring ~
Bye ~
Regardless, here we go.
I guess it's, wow, wait is it? Six years since I joined this place with my first account, which my sister suggested I named Nightmare Elf. I changed it quickly to something more fitting. I was so innocent back then, ah what happened to that little ******** idiot :')
Look at me now, I'm 16, and never felt better, even if I am ******** miserable with illness writing this ahaha... I hated my childhood, who didn't? I was bullied and picked on, didn't get a friend before 3rd grade.
I met a girl and she became my best friend same day. Even girlfriend eventually but that didn't last long.
(For those who don't know, I'm bi. I struggled with this for so long, now I'll happily scream it from a top of a building because I finally have come to peace with it.) And you know what? If you go all hating on me because I just said I was bisexual, then ******** you, I ain't having this. I've come to peace with who I am, and I ain't gonna change for ANYONE.
Anywho, I grew up hating my childhood because even with my best friend, my only friend, I was picked on and bullied. I moved away from my home and my friend, to be isolated as a loner for a year after 7 years of school where I lived.
Are you still following? Why? This is all pointless. If you think this is a suicide note, think again. I'm just venting ahahah...
I moved away, my entire image was erased. The me I knew was gone. I could start over. Nadia didn't exist, and Renée did. I switched from using my first name to my middle name and changed what I wore, how I talked, and who I talked to.
I hated this phase, it wasn't me, but it was. I didn't want to be that freak, which I eventually just came to peace with realising I was regardless so that failed. I haven't changed back, because I am happy now.
I spent a year alone, figuring everything out, when I returned, I got a friend, who later I found out had a crush on me, and all that is a sad story because it ended up being a damn love triangle ish thing at a point.
I guess I had it coming. He is one of my best friends, alongside a guy from Albania who supported me for three solid years now, we talk daily and always have since we met. If I lose him, I lose myself. He's my other half, as I consider it. And that is where it'll get more complicated.
I have in all five best friends, two of these are the guys I mentioned, third is a girl who is basically my twin, but a year younger, then you have my mother, as she has been more like a friend than a mother to me all these years, and you have my boyfriend. All of them have been fatal to creating the person I am today. I would be dead without them.
Anyway, starting 9th grade I finally got to know this friend of mine, which we'll call Wolf for now. He introduced me to my current boyfriend, whom we'll call Kon. They both had a crush on me and I felt so bad because without Wolf I wouldn't have properly met Kon. Anyway, it got resolved and it's all good.
At this point I struggled with depression and anxiety, still do, but you know what? I won't let it affect me anymore. Because I've grown enough that I can love life as it is, knowing it has upsides and downsides, but still enjoy it. That's probably the point even of this story.
I love how my life turned out to be, and I know that most of this seem like bullshit, but for me, every event I hated, dreaded, even liked, has been a factor for who I am today.
I'm lucky to still be alive to see this, I'm lucky I met my friends, I'm lucky I'm me.
That's basically it.
Thanks if you even stayed through this, hopefully it was a tad inspiring ~
Bye ~
