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Dun-dun-duhn!

	Vanished
	Vanished


Hey people, Normaly I don't do journal updates or even use my Gaia journal for anything other than old guild projects and thread ideas from a long time ago, however I am updating this since this will be a place where everyone can view it with out the address moving as time goes on. This is why I vanished for about a month without trace. Some of you on Skype knew some details but here I am going to hash out why I vanished. Week one - DayZ Really simple, I was invited by a friend to play with them on the standalone and to run logistics and act as a negotiator between parties. I got hooked on that and it's not that odd that people will vanish for about a week on gaia then come back with, "sorry I was busy" or something. That was my plan. Week two - Car Crash I fell asleep while driving due to lack of sleep from playing DayZ and ran my car of the side of the road. I totaled my car and was in a coma for about four days. It was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me one second to be driving next to wake up in a room I didn't know and hurt all over. The hospital kept me for another two days to be sure I was stable before they released me. No broken bones, no internal injuries, I was lucky. and for the next few days I read and cried and slept. I was a wreck. I was also on some serious pain killers. While nothing was broken I was sore, really really sore. When I went back for my check up at the end of the week they said I could start decreasing the dose and slowly come off of them. Week three and four - Family trip w/o internet With everything going on I forgot that I was leaving on a trip and would be in places that would not have internet or those that did I would need to save my pennies to make sure I kept up to date with emails and keeping in touch with my doctor. We all had shared minutes and while I could have begged for a some so that I could get online and let you all know, it wasn't worth it to me. To go through my family questioning what I was doing on Gaia, why I had a female avatar, who was I talking to bla bla bla. Week Five - Now I've just gotten home around 36 hours ago and been to the doctor. Everything is fine but I'm going to stay away from DayZ for a bit. I will be on Gaia a little bit tomorrow. The other thing for me about getting on after I pulled this is that I am afraid. I'm afraid of people, what they will say, did I screw things up for them, who did I hold up. All of that kind of stuff, I feel terrible about and it weighs on me. I'm sorry. The above is not an excuse, I should have talked to everyone, not just those on Skype that I was gone. Words are a horrible way of trying to show sincerity but they are all that I can offer. Once again, I'm sorry for vanishing. I wrote this when I intended to log on… it has been four days since then. What kept me from logging on? Fear. Fear of PM's fear of threads I may have killed fear of people hating me. I have killed a few threads by vanishing in the past and I lost some good internet friends and one IRL friend because of it (scary, huh?). But I am back I will brave looking at PM's tomorrow. For now I am letting everyone know that this is the place to look for info. ~V "The pursuit of Knowledge only ends when you let it." - Personal Mantra "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Dune, Frank Herbert v-v · Sat Jul 12, 2014 @ 02:24am · 0 Comments


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"The pursuit of Knowledge only ends when you let it." - Personal Mantra

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
- Dune, Frank Herbert

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