As a lover, a girlfriend, a partner, I will give you myself. Maybe this is careless, maybe this is foolish, but I will. In return for your loyalty and love, I will give you everything I have. I put my heart on the chopping block. I take "It is better to have loved and lost then to not have loved at all" to the fullest. BEWARE: I am very easy to take advantage of. Not because I am weak. Unconfident. Oblivious. But because I live my life with my heart.
As a friend, counselor, comforter, I will tell you the truth. I am ALWAYS there for ANYONE. I tend to be a good person to confide in by default. I know my shoulders are bony and tall, but they are waterproof so tears won't hurt. Even those, who disappear, who drift away, are welcome to come back. Is my forgiveness a sin? Lenience is often confused with forgiveness. I will hold you to your vows of friendship, but if you are sincere, well then, everyone messes up.
My history is my own. I express myself through art. I had a heart that was healthy, strong, full of maraschino cherry red blood. I was a virgin in every way. Body. Soul. Mind. I gave myself, ripe, to someone. They slowly. Tore it apart. At first it was just squeezed. A skip a beat here and a race there. Then my arteries started clogging with lies. My muscles weakened. The blood ran black. I was discarded. Used. They say everyone has one of "These." A first. I was left wide open. Exposed.
Healing is a process. It took friends. Real friends. To begin it. Having loved and lost. Not only my friends but myself. Then he was there. Someone Real. Someone to fix me. Both having had our hearts ravaged, we jump at the opportunity to connect. Love blossomed. It was amazing. All of it. We fixed each other.
Who am I now? I am a giver. I live. I live in the depths of expression. That is my most powerful and coveted word. Express. Passion. Music, Art, Photography, they all do it for me. I am able to show what is really there. I will always be someone who cannot help knowing more than is healthy at my age level. I don't mean to sound smug. Stuck up. I merely think on a higher plane than MOST I encounter. There are those who get it. Those who had it and lost it. And those who are getting there.
My demons: That which poisons, haunts, pulls. I have them. We all do. My demons are diminishing. I am confident. I am me. I do not accept bullshit as a replacement or a positive morality. I am not trying to ride up on a great white stallion. I need you. I need all of you. Love is the fuel for my fire. So please...
Float my boat.
amour le vamp Community Member 
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