Hovering over a cup of tea I'm lost in thought.
Questioning the interpersonal relationships ,which defines my place in society, can be a frustrating task. Manipulation is the product of thought. Rather than admitting defeat to the flow of life, I seek to alter it to my perceived desires. I wonder by what right I feel I should have this power. What in me lends a desire to control where I stand based on my moral compass? Where do I even define my moral compass now that I no longer base it on the Christian religion? Though it's logical that I have a say in where I stand, it raises a question in me. To what extent do I affect others for my desires? There is nary a soul who does not manipulate others to some extent through their own actions. I begin to ,through some imagined form of measurement, determine my affect on others. The implications of my actions and words are potentially devastating despite my intentions.
With my tea cup nearly empty, I ponder the accountability of the things I've done and the words I've said. I've swayed the feelings of others, spurred what could perhaps become a spiral of depressing events, or brought about in some a fleeting happiness. To what degree do I hold myself responsible for their reactions? Probability is the answer I find after some moments of searching. In thinking of the plethora of reactions, which one is most likely to emerge given an action. If the direct result of an action is negative to a certain extent should there be another solution? If another solution doesn't become evident then is the inevitability of my decisions fall upon my shoulders? To relieve myself of responsibility, I resolve to the fact that I am not entirely accountable knowing that within reasonable probability, one will suffer from the course of my actions. Of course this fleeting thought is questioned and I fall back to wonder about the overall positives and negatives of my actions and how best to handle myself.
Needless to say, as the moon shines upon my now empty cup of tea, I find myself without answers. There's no definite answer to questions pertaining to the morality of potentially selfish actions that cannot be subjectively rationalized. The paths laid out before me I wonder which way to walk. Perhaps allowing myself to be conquered by the flow of life is the moral choice. Perhaps I should let my actions be defined by emotion rather than rationalization. I admit to myself the inevitable consequence regardless of what I do and decide to let the chips fall where they may. Right or wrong? I don't know. I don't think I ever will.
Windstriker Community Member 
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