So I was at a party last night and my .... he is nothing to me, but he was there. I don't get it. After all of this I'm moving away the one last thing that I would just love to do is just let him know how worthless he is to me.
OKAY
all things admitted it would kinda be lying. I don't wanna leave here with regret. Maybe saying it out loud to his face will make it true.
I know I can't change with world at a whim.
All that really needs to be said about him is he hurt me in ways no one has ever hurt me before. Ways I could never EVER allow someone to hurt me again.
After two years I saw him and I swear to god under all the rage, the desire to break his wrist, smash his face, key his car, kill his dog, feed him his parents in chili, steal his license plates, plant crack on his person and call the police, and/or just punch his pretty little face in, It fluttered a little.
It being what is left of my heart after he tore it.
Okay maybe that is a little unfair but I can full heartedly blame him for my state over that year. He was my best friend and he was suposed to be there.
I never got to my point did I?
Though I had feelings when I saw him my hatred was stronger. But I was around all these people good friends from years ago I had not spoken to in months. So I couldn't cuase all this drama. I understood that sure I was leaveing so any last minute drama really was no big deal to me.
But this was not my party to bring this s**t to. Granted if I had any idea he was going to be there I would not have shown up everyone there (or at least the hosts) knew better.
So this makes me two faced because I made a consciouses decision to be nice to him. I don't understand why this is so unbelievably wrong. He should know I do not like him and if he doesn't he is pretty dense. Just because I was nice to his face the first time I saw him in years does not mean I did it because I don't want him to dislike me. I don't care if he dislikes me at this point. I just did not want to bring all that s**t there. Look he shows up to my party I'll be glad to drag his a** through the mud but I'm not going to be remembered by my friends as the guy that ruined there birthday.
It may be two faced of me but circumstances permitted.
Purple Symphony · Mon Jul 14, 2008 @ 04:44am · 0 Comments |