Dear Hallmark company; Hello. I have written these poems that I think would be perfect for your Valentine's Day card line. I hope you will consider making them by next year, and I really think that I would be an asset to your company, especially if you paid me a lot of money. Here are some samples.
I'm sorry I cheated, And you got my STD; So for Valentine's Day, The penicillin's on me.
Love (in six to eight weeks), your name here
So I ******** your roommate, And it's making you blue, But in my defence, hun, She's hotter than you.
I'll ******** you now though, your name here
We hooked up, I never called, What more can I say? I only saw you naked once, And I think it turned me gay.
Got any brothers? your name here
On this Valentine's Day, I'll take you on a date, If you'd just wash your hair, And maybe lose some weight.
Ten pounds'll do! your name here
Obviously these cards can be adjusted for the gender of the receiver. I am not an artist, but I have a few ideas about appropriate pictures to accompany the text. I would accept a small comission if you are interested in purchasing my cards, and I hope to hear from you soon.
B.
B.longimanus · Tue Feb 19, 2008 @ 10:11pm · 0 Comments |