so it's official.... my mom has become just as bad as my dad. Because I'm tired and not feeling well and didn't get up to feed the cat, I only care about myself. Thats what my dad always said about me......
and people actually wonder why all I want to do is make other people happy.... I don't want to be selfish because then everyone is mad at me....
I felt like s**t yesterday and my mom didn't even seem to notice.... I had a late breakfast/early lunch of soup and nothing else all day because I felt like I was going to throw up anything I ate..... My muscles hurt becuse I was s tense trying not to pass out and seem fine while at work(which i left early) and walking home. I didn't even get up to tell my step-dad to have a good day at work....
i'm suppossed to go to work today and find out if i have to work this god-forsaken split shift tomorrow... and if i do, i'll have to cancel/reschedule that massage i was lookng forward to crying
I can't take all this anymore... It doesn't matter where I go, I'm always unloved.... no one cares that I have feelings and stress and so much s**t in my past that I'm mentally ******** up and just trying to fit in, not piss anyone off and just feel like i belong... is that so selfish?
so now... I'm selfish again, because I'm playing with my cat and my sister, and not feeding the cat.... forgive me if i'm not usualy home during the day to feed her. forgive me if I was finally sleeping in a little and trying to relax instead of working my a** off for people who give less of a damn than you do... and forgive me for actually playing with my sister when you always say i don't. now i can't because you sent both of to our rtooms. my sister for feeding the cat differently than you told her too and me for not feeding her.... real smart mom.... stare
 ~Ana-chan~ · Mon Jun 06, 2005 @ 05:34pm · 2 Comments |
