Strife Forgotten, a poem about betrayal

[Kirinkinetic Telepathetic]

what was in it for you?
what could you have gotten?
your sins are forgiven
but not forgotten

you beat me down
you sullied my name
I hate you so much
and I hate your d*mned game

you sucked me under
like a vampire's kiss
I know how you did it
how quaint that you finally left me like this

your soul is gone
your heart is rotten
your sins are forgiven
but not forgotten

~KMS  

[FlyfreeIzzie]

sounds very angry..
interesting imagry....

good job  

[Kirinkinetic Telepathetic]

true, it is angry. it's suppossed to be but you should read the one I did about my ex..that one was all talking about how pretty his eyes are and then in the last stanza it talks about how I want to pluck them out so he'll stop staring at me...yeah it was angry too  

[WildCardJack]

its good, i like the way it flows, but the last line of the third stanza could be shorter, other than that it sounds really good  

[Kirinkinetic Telepathetic]

I did that purposely. I like to make my poems somewhat dischordant so that you know they're mine. it's kinda meant to throw everyone off. don't ask why it's just how I am. besides I don't know exactly why either...  

[Sharima]

I really enjoyed reading this poem. I think it delivers a unique yet common thought that people have when they're betrayed. You just have the right words for it. Excellent job! 4laugh