Is God punishing me/Does God punish?

[rock_babe]

I'm a Christian, have always been a Christian. I go to a Christian camp every year (well have for 3 years). I live my life as a good Christian, in MOST senses. The only thing, in my opinion, that could be wrong is that I've recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend.

Now, since I've been having sex with my boyfriend, everything in my life has gone downhill! My parents are splitting up, my brother is off the rails (stole from parents, failing his degree, is broke, etc.), my friends don't see me much and aren't as close as before, I didn't get my expected grades...

Then, this year at my Christian camp, I was really touched by God. I asked Him into my life properly and suddenly everything seemed better except for my boyfriend! I wanted to stop having sex with him, but didn't want to at the same time. We stopped having sex for a while, and life was very good.

But I chose to carry on having sex with him a while later. Now everything seems bad in my life again. Is God punishing me? Does God punish people?

Also, is it OK to be a good Christian in every sense except for having sex?

Sorry for the long post, but please reply smile

Please don't flame or discuss any private issues out of this thread.  

[ioioouiouiouio]

Is God punishing you? Maybe. Though, I seriously doubt that all the stufff that you mentioned (parents, brother, friends, grades) have anything to do with you/your situation. That is their problems to a head, not yours. Well, except maybe the grades one. That one is just solved by harder work is school.

Anywho, to answer your question "Also, is it OK to be a good Christian in every sense except for having sex?" The answer is no. James 2:10 clearly says that those who break sin only once are the same as those who commit (almost) every sin in the eyes of God.  

[MsLatina]

well I'm not that smart as to tell u yes or no..but having sex before marriage is very wrong. It says it in the bible and everywhere else.

Once God has forgiven you, you are Forgiven.

Now, if you stumble and do it again- That is your sinning!
It's not your fault that everything is happening for a resson.
temptations can b really hard but we have to resist.  

[dirtdevilgrunt13]

Are you married?
How old are you?

You do know sex before marriage is bad and is a sin.
RIGHT?  

[Berezi]

rock_babe

I'm a Christian, have always been a Christian. I go to a Christian camp every year (well have for 3 years). I live my life as a good Christian, in MOST senses. The only thing, in my opinion, that could be wrong is that I've recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend.

Okay, first off, I notice something here that troubles me, and it's not the virginity bit. It's the stuff before that. The things you've put forth as to why you are a good Christian are all things you've done. You have only come so far because God has worked it in you. Considering that your deeds were the first thing you listed as to why you're a good Christian, I think you might have the same mindset that I once had - that it is primarily because of our deeds that we have gotten as far as we have in our walk with God.

God has recently corrected that wrong mentality in me. He opened my eyes so that I could see that the only reason why I made it through the last school year in one piece was because of God's strength. I was weak and didn't have the strength to handle all the new circumstances on my own.

Quote:

Now, since I've been having sex with my boyfriend, everything in my life has gone downhill! My parents are splitting up, my brother is off the rails (stole from parents, failing his degree, is broke, etc.), my friends don't see me much and aren't as close as before, I didn't get my expected grades...

You know, sometimes we have those downhill slopes and it has nothing to do with anything. In James 1, the bible talks about taking joy in our trials because God will refine us in them. If anything, God's trying to get your attention and make you focus on Him.

Quote:

Then, this year at my Christian camp, I was really touched by God. I asked Him into my life properly and suddenly everything seemed better except for my boyfriend! I wanted to stop having sex with him, but didn't want to at the same time. We stopped having sex for a while, and life was very good.

I'm glad that you have asked God into your life. It makes me happy to read that, and I'm sure God is far more excited about it.

Quote:

But I chose to carry on having sex with him a while later. Now everything seems bad in my life again. Is God punishing me? Does God punish people?

I think God's trying to get your attention. I don't think He's punishing you, I think He's saying, "Don't go down that road."

Of course, this could also be a trial of some sort. God allows us to go through them. I should know. I just went through a big one myself. But the point isn't to make us suffer, it is to refine us and make us more like Him.

Quote:

Also, is it OK to be a good Christian in every sense except for having sex?

Cometh already covered this pretty nicely. But I do have an add-on here. When you do that for any sin, you're letting sin hang around in your heart. I've done that before, and it's very unwise.
It does two things:
1) it's a barrier in your relationship to God.
2) it gives Satan a foothold in your heart. That's like asking for a spiritual attack. I mean, they come anyway. No need to give the enemy easy access.

As your sister in Christ, I'd rather you not make the same mistakes I did. While I haven't had sex, it was a different sin that I allowed to stick around for a long time. It really put a crimp in my relationship with God.  

[rock_babe]

LRD_nick

Are you married?
How old are you?

You do know sex before marriage is bad and is a sin.
RIGHT?

No I'm not married, and it is irrelevant how old I am. I am old enough to make my own decisions, for it not to be illegal (in law terms) and to do what I wish.

I know that sex before marriage is considered a sin. However, I believe that we are going to be married. We are engaged. I know that we could split up, but I see it as unlikely. So what's the difference between today, and our wedding day? Paper work? A few words to promise what we've already decided/promised?  

[rock_babe]

Berezi

Okay, first off, I notice something here that troubles me, and it's not the virginity bit. It's the stuff before that. The things you've put forth as to why you are a good Christian are all things you've done. You have only come so far because God has worked it in you. Considering that your deeds were the first thing you listed as to why you're a good Christian, I think you might have the same mindset that I once had - that it is primarily because of our deeds that we have gotten as far as we have in our walk with God.

I really only said the first paragraph to really get people to know my situation. I understand that what I do would be nothing without God, and it's thanks to Him that I'm where I am. smile


And thanks for the rest, it all makes sense and is good advice smile xxx  

[Berezi]

rock_babe

I really only said the first paragraph to really get people to know my situation. I understand that what I do would be nothing without God, and it's thanks to Him that I'm where I am. smile


And thanks for the rest, it all makes sense and is good advice smile xxx

Glad I could be of some help. =) It's good to know I can help someone else in an area I've stumbled in before.

But as to something you said earlier about the difference between you being married and your soon to be married state, it is true that there is only paperwork keeping you from being married. But when you have your union, you are officially unified in God's eyes, right? Until then, you're not officially unified in God's eyes.

You know, in Jewish culture, a couple was betrothed for a year before they got married. It was expected that when you were betrothed to someone you would marry them. However, they still were not permitted to have sex during that year. God still considered that a sin. What's the difference between that betrothal and your betrothal? Perhaps there is a difference of length, but that's it.

Plus, when you get married, you'll have a lifetime to have sex. You can put it off for just a little bit longer to honor God.  

[ioioouiouiouio]

rock_babe

No I'm not married, and it is irrelevant how old I am. I am old enough to make my own decisions, for it not to be illegal (in law terms) and to do what I wish.

He was just wondering because of the legality issue (and I'm pretty dissapointed in myself for not remembering to ask about that).

Quote:

I know that sex before marriage is considered a sin. However, I believe that we are going to be married. We are engaged. I know that we could split up, but I see it as unlikely. So what's the difference between today, and our wedding day? Paper work? A few words to promise what we've already decided/promised?

Everyone has a 100% chance of dying some day. That does not mean that God doesn't call murder a sin. Eventuality is no reason to jump the gun. Also, it would still be sin because you know that God said 'no sex before marriage', and then deiberately went against that.

Besides, if I may bring my cynical side into this, everyone says/thinks that 'this one will be the one', and s/he rarely is. It's best not to gamble with things like that, considering the odds against you.  

[General_Tenken]

Well let me just say that when you accepted God into your heart, a tremendous celebration in heaven was held for you. But now that you have accepted Christ into your life, you have acknowledged him as your saviour and you also now must lead a christian life, which is not at all easy. In order to know how to live a good life, you need to begin if you havent already, reading the bible. But overall, just use the common judgement between what is right and what is wrong. And if you are unsure of things, simply pray about them sincerily. Prayer is a very powerful thing.

As for God punishing us, yes indeed. God will punish us for our misdemeanors and our negative actions. But because we are human and naturally flawed, sinning is basically an everyday thing for us. But that is why Christ died for us, to save us from our sins. All we have to do is sinceringly admit and repend of our sinning.

But besides punishing us, God also tests us. He tests us because through trials we grow stronger, and God wants us to be faithful but testing to see if we will continue to trust in God when things dont go exactly our way.

But anyway, as for you and your boyfriend. As long as you remain faithful to him and he to you, just pray about it and things should get better. We'll be praying for you too here at the guild 3nodding  

[LittlePinky82]

Just because bad things are happening in your life doesn't mean God is punishing you. When I was younger I had the same mindset and sometimes I still think that way today. There is no proof that the bad thing happened because of something you did. Please don't beat yourself over it. You can't control what other people do. Each person doing something doesn't mean it has to do with your life.  

[LittlePinky82]

MsLatina

well I'm not that smart as to tell u yes or no..but having sex before marriage is very wrong. It says it in the bible and everywhere else.

Once God has forgiven you, you are Forgiven.

Now, if you stumble and do it again- That is your sinning!
It's not your fault that everything is happening for a resson.
temptations can b really hard but we have to resist.

It's only wrong to each person's spiritual beliefs and all that so I just wanted to say that.  

[Berezi]

LittlePinky82

It's only wrong to each person's spiritual beliefs and all that so I just wanted to say that.

Quite honestly, that philosophy really only applies to things in the bible that God was not so clear about. For example, drinking. God does not prohibit the consumation of alcohol, though there are places where the bible says that drunkedness isn't a good idea (Proverbs 20:1).

Since we should obey our authorities, also in the bible, underage drinking is not okay, even if God has no misgiving about drinking itself, because we are to abide by the law.

God, however, has convicted some people that they need to stay away from alcohol completely. I imagine that God knows best and knows they would be easily led astray by alcohol. For others, it is another beverage, not addicting at all.

Something like lying, or the subject we're talking about now, God is much more clear on. No ambiguity applies there.  

[Siren of Saturn]

oh...a discussion/debate...
*wonders if she should dip her feet into it or just watch from affar...*  

[Siren of Saturn]

rock_babe

LRD_nick

Are you married?
How old are you?

You do know sex before marriage is bad and is a sin.
RIGHT?

No I'm not married, and it is irrelevant how old I am. I am old enough to make my own decisions, for it not to be illegal (in law terms) and to do what I wish.

I know that sex before marriage is considered a sin. However, I believe that we are going to be married. We are engaged. I know that we could split up, but I see it as unlikely. So what's the difference between today, and our wedding day? Paper work? A few words to promise what we've already decided/promised?

*is elated that at least your not some 14 year old girl who thinks that they are for sure going to get married to their freshman or even worse...8th grade sweetheart*
let's just say she's mature in her age smile